A Maiden's Voyage

by Rosie Goodwin

  Chapter Fifteen

  In London, Emily was drinking her first cup of tea of the day before starting to clean the bedrooms. Timmy had left for school and all the others were at work so she welcomed these few moments of peace and quiet before she began her chores. She always changed the sheets on all the beds on Mondays, weather permitting. She would then take them to the small washhouse that was shared by the rest of the courtyard and after scrubbing them and feeding them through the mangle she would hang them on the lines stretched across the courtyards to dry. It had always given her a measure of satisfaction to see them looking crisp and clean as they flapped in the breeze but since news had come that her firstborn had perished on the Titanic each day now was just another monotonous list of tasks to endure and somehow get through.

  Added to her grief for Flora was her concern about her second eldest, Ben. She’d heard it rumoured that he was mixing with a bad crowd lately and she knew for a fact that he’d been skipping work. The Wilkinson’s lad in the cottage opposite, who Ben usually teamed up with on the docks, had told his mother, although Ben had strongly denied it when she confronted him about it. An added worry was a rather lovely pearl necklace she had found under his pillow when changing his bed some weeks back. It had been shortly after they’d been informed that Flora was lost and Ben had taken the news badly. He had always been very close to his big sister.

  ‘Explain that, me lad!’ She had dropped the necklace onto the table in front of him that evening after finding it when he came home and he had blushed to the roots of his hair. ‘I … it’s only a cheap ’un off the market,’ he had blustered as his mother’s lips drew back from her teeth.

  ‘Hmm, well I’m no expert when it comes to jewellery, never havin’ had any apart from me weddin’ ring,’ she had admitted. ‘But it certainly looks expensive and real enough to me!’

  ‘Then you’re wrong!’ Cheeks flaming, Ben had slammed away from the table to tower over her. He had just turned eighteen and was over six feet and Emily suddenly wondered when he had grown so tall. But then she had been so wrapped up in grieving for her daughter that she was forced to admit she hadn’t taken much notice of anyone or anything since learning of Flora’s death. His work on the docks had turned his arms and chest into solid muscle and with his shock of dark hair and his lovely eyes, Emily wasn’t surprised that girls had started to flock around him like bees to a honey pot. Of all her children he and Flora had been the most alike and now every time she looked at him she felt a pain in her heart as she was reminded of her daughter.

  ‘It’s just a cheap trinket I picked up for a lass I’m seein’,’ he insisted, then reaching into his pocket he withdrew a handful of silver coins which he tossed onto the table for her. ‘Here,’ he said gruffly. ‘You’ll be needin’ this now that you ain’t got part of Flora’s wages comin’ in every month.’

  Emily’s mouth had dropped open as she gazed at the amount. ‘But where did you get all this?’ she gasped. ‘I hope it was by fair means? I’ll not have any dodgy money comin’ into this house even if we were starvin’. I’ve just turned down Miss Constance’s offer of a monthly payment an’ all! It was kind of her to offer but we ain’t quite charity cases yet!’

  ‘It’s not dodgy,’ he’d told her sulkily. ‘I’ve been workin’ extra shifts down at another part o’ the docks. That’s why Bobby Wilkinson ain’t seen me.’

  ‘Oh, son.’ Emily was instantly contrite. ‘I’m sorry I doubted you. But take some back for yourself. I don’t expect you to tip up every penny to me.’

  ‘I’ve enough for my needs.’ He sat down again, avoiding her eyes as she grinned.

  ‘And who is this lass you’re buyin’ trinkets for?’ she teased as he snatched the necklace up and dropped it into his pocket. ‘An’ when are you goin’ to bring her home to tea to meet us all?’ It felt strange to think of him walking out with a young lady but then she had reasoned she hadn’t been much older than he was now when she had married, so how could she object?

  ‘I won’t be bringin’ her home … it ain’t that serious,’ he said sulkily as Timmy came into the room, his cheeks glowing. He’d been playing marbles on the cobbles in the courtyard with the children from the adjoining cottages. Emily had turned to tell him to wash his hands before sitting down to his tea and when she had turned back, Ben was gone. She had assumed he’d slipped away to meet his young lady but then as time went on her concerns grew again. Sometimes now it was the early hours of the morning before he came home and suddenly he was nervous and edgy, whereas before he had always been outgoing and fun.

  ‘Eeh, I sometimes think you want sommat to worry about,’ her husband had teased her when she mentioned her concerns to him. ‘He’s growin’ up, woman! He’s probably off somewhere sowin’ his wild oats. An’ don’t forget he’s also still grievin’ for our Flora an’ all. They were close an’ he’s missin’ her.’

  ‘I dare say you’re right.’ Emily had let the matter drop then but she was still concerned.

  Now with a weary sigh, she drained her cup and trudged upstairs to start stripping the beds. Thankfully it was a fine day so hopefully the sheets would dry outside. Throughout the winter she had had to string them up on lines stretched across the ceiling from one corner of the room to the other which only added to the damp atmosphere in the cottage. But then she supposed she was lucky compared to some. At least she had her own front door, many thereabouts lived in rented rooms huddled together like flies.

  It took her no more than a matter of minutes to strip the sheets from the beds, she had it down to a fine art now, but when she came to Ben’s bed she frowned. There was yet another piece of jewellery tucked beneath his pillow and she didn’t need to be an expert to see that this was no cheap trinket. It was a gold ring set with blue stones and diamonds that flashed in the light filtering in from the tiny leaded window. She had seen a blue stone like this once before in the window of a posh jeweller’s shop in Oxford Street and had remembered it because of the beautiful, vivid, cornflower-blue colour. Now what was it called … a sasp … no, a sapphire, that was it! This must be one because no piece of glass could ever be cut to sparkle like this, surely? She frowned as she lifted it to examine it. She’d get the truth out of Ben tonight if it killed her, she promised herself as she set the ring on the small chest of drawers at the side of his bed thinking about how the day before, Jess Bromley from across the other side of the courtyard had almost broken her neck to tell her that she’d seen Ben talking to Gus Miller, a criminal who was well known to the police.

  ‘Well, there’s no harm in speaking to someone you know, Jess,’ Emily had told the woman but inside she was quaking. What would her lad be doing mixing with the likes of him? It was no secret that Gus had gangs of young lads who were only knee high to grasshoppers out pickpocketing for him. And then there were the older lads who did the more serious crimes like breaking and entering. Gus had taken most of them from the workhouse and the police were always after him but Gus was as wily as an old fox and they could never pin anything on him. But my Ben wouldn’t be daft enough to get mixed up in something like that, she tried to convince herself as she filled the tin bath in the washhouse with water from the pump and began the tedious job of washing the sheets.

  The day passed in a blur and by the time Timmy got home from school the little cottage was as clean as Emily could make it and a tasty stew with fat juicy dumplings floating in it was simmering on the range. Like most women from thereabouts Emily was adept at rustling up a meal from almost nothing.

  ‘There’s been a robbery out at one o’ the big posh houses in Mayfair,’ Timmy informed her innocently as he drank a glass of milk almost in one swallow. He was growing like a weed and Emily teased him that he must have hollow legs, for she never seemed able to fill him up. ‘I heard the teachers talkin’ about it while I was in the playground when we was havin’ us break. The robbers took lots o’ jewellery but worse than that someone got hurt real bad. A lady tried to stop ’em an’ they push
ed her down the stairs. The teachers reckon she might die!’

  ‘How awful,’ Emily replied, her stomach churning as she thought of the ring upstairs. At the first chance she got she hurried up there and slipped it into her pocket. But no, she tried to convince herself, Ben would never be so stupid … would he? She knew for a fact that he hadn’t come in till the early hours of the morning, for she had lain awake listening for him. Then today when she rose he had already gone out again.

  I’ll have it out with him the second he sets foot through the door, she promised herself. Meanwhile, she tried to concentrate on the family who were arriving home for their dinner.

  That night when the rest of the family had gone to bed and the house was quiet, Emily sat downstairs beside the dying fire. Ben would have to come home sometime and when he did she wanted to be there to confront him. Eventually she fell into a doze and her chin drooped to her chest but then suddenly something made her start awake and when her head snapped round she saw Ben creeping down the stairs with his shoes in one hand and a bag in the other.

  ‘And just where do you think you’re going?’

  Her voice startled him and he almost jumped out of his skin. He came to stand in front of her with his head bowed, shamefaced.

  ‘I … I’ve got to go away for a while, Ma,’ he said miserably.

  ‘Oh, and why is that?’

  When he raised his chin, she was shocked to see tears glistening in his eyes. ‘Would it be anything to do with this?’ she asked, taking the ring from her pocket and he gulped deep in his throat making his Adam’s apple do a little jig.

  ‘Right then, me lad, I think you’ve got some explainin’ to do,’ she said sternly.

  For a moment he just stood there but then he started to talk and everything came out in a rush.

  ‘I’ve been such a fool!’ he said bitterly. ‘An’ it started when we lost our Flora, not that that’s any excuse for what I’ve done. You’ve allus taught us right from wrong but for a time back there I don’t think I was thinkin’ straight an’ I got into a card game wi’ Gus Miller. I ended up owin’ him a lot o’ money an’ o’ course I had no way o’ payin’ it, so he agreed that if I did a few … little jobs for him he’d forget what I owed him. I didn’t want to do it but everyone knows Gus ain’t a bloke to mess with so I agreed.’ He licked his lips as his head wagged from side to side.

  ‘So … he sent you out on the rob?’ Emily whispered and he nodded miserably.

  ‘Yes, twice. Last night was supposed to be the last time. He gave us the address of this posh house in Mayfair. He knows the people that live there an’ assured us that they’d be out. He even told us where the woman’s jewellery box would be, though I ain’t got a clue how he knew! Anyway, we got there an’ all was going’ well. Me an’ Nipper found the box and emptied it then went out onto the landin’ only to find a woman there brandishin’ a candlestick at us. We were desperate to get away but as Nipper tried to push past her she slipped an’ ended up goin’ from the top to the bottom o’ the stairs where she just lay still.’ He started to cry then, great gulping sobs that shook his body. ‘We never meant to ’urt no one, Ma, I swear it, an’ if the woman dies I don’t know how I’ll live wi’ meself even though it were an accident.’ He took a few deep breaths before going on as his mother listened to the story horrified. ‘That ring’ – he pointed to the one in his mother’s hand – ‘must have got caught in the lining of me pocket. We went straight to Gus after we left the woman’s house and passed everything over to him. I didn’t realise I still had that till I got home. But if the woman dies the police will come lookin’. Gus won’t take the rap if they catch him, he’ll squeal like a stuck pig an’ put all the blame on me an’ Nipper.’

  ‘Ah, so it was Nipper you were with was it?’ Ben and Nipper had been friends since they were barely out of nappies but the lad had gone off the rails since he’d left school. She should have guessed that it would be him Ben was with.

  Ben nodded, his face waxen. ‘He’s disappeared and I need to do the same till things quieten down. We can’t risk staying around here, not till we know if the woman is goin’ to survive. You do realise that, don’t you?’ He reached out to squeeze her hand but her throat was too full to answer him so she merely nodded. As much as she hated the thought of him going away, she hated the thought of him dangling at the end of a noose even more and if the woman should die, God forbid … She couldn’t bear the thought of losing yet another of her offspring.

  ‘So where will you go?’ she forced herself to ask shakily.

  ‘We’re gettin’ on the first boat out of the docks tonight, if we can, but I’ll get word to you where we are when I know. Meanwhile, keep that ring. You might be able to pawn it when the heat’s died down a bit.’

  He rose and lifted his bag again. It was time to go and he didn’t want to prolong the goodbye. It was just too painful.

  ‘Be careful, lad, an’ may God go with you.’ Emily stood and kissed him on the cheek before gently pushing him towards the door. As soon as it had closed behind him, she sat back down in her chair and, rocking back and forth, she finally gave way to tears.

  She had no idea how long she sat there but eventually she rose and lifted her shawl from the hook on the door, then, quiet as a mouse, she let herself out into the velvety black night. She knew every inch of the alleys like the back of her hand and soon she came to the docks behind the warehouses. She stood for a moment staring down at the flotsam in the dark water then, raising her hand, she flung the ring as far away from her as she could. She heard a gentle plop and satisfied that it was lost forever, she retraced her steps. It might have been worth a king’s ransom for all she knew but should the police come sniffing around and find it, it would prove her lad’s guilt and she couldn’t risk that. She would rather starve.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The following morning when she went down to breakfast, Flora found another letter from Mr Wainthorp waiting for her. It still felt strange to open mail that was addressed to Connie and she’d almost ignored it. This living a lie was turning out to be a lot harder than she had thought it would be, especially now Toby had clocked on to what she was doing. The letter informed her that her family had politely declined the offer of a monthly wage and she was bitterly disappointed, although in hindsight she supposed she should have realised that her mother was too proud to accept what she would class as charity.

  If she hadn’t already have lost her appetite thanks to Toby’s threats the night before, this letter would certainly have taken away any desire for food. She felt sick with guilt and she suddenly missed her family unbearably.

  ‘Are you feeling unwell?’ Alex glanced at Flora as the girl picked at her food. ‘You look a little pale. Did you have a nightmare again?’

  ‘No … I’m quite well, thank you,’ Flora answered as Margaret glared at her. ‘But I think I might go out and get a little fresh air this morning.’ She needed to visit the bank to withdraw the money that Toby had demanded, otherwise one word from him and it would all be over. Part of her half hoped that he would say something and just get it over with because the strain of having to watch every word she uttered was becoming too much. The other part of her was terrified of the consequences and so for now she had decided to just give him the money and try to placate him.

  The rest of the meal passed in silence. Margaret never attempted to make any conversation with her or Alex and so Flora was relieved when she could excuse herself and escape to her room. She found Patsy there making her bed and the girl gave her a cheery grin. For a moment Flora envied her. Her life had been as simple as Patsy’s was when she had been Connie’s maid but now everything was so complicated.

  ‘Off out, are you, miss?’ Patsy asked as Flora took her hat and coat from the armoire. ‘Just be sure not to go gettin’ yourself lost.’

  ‘I shall be fine,’ Flora assured her and without another word she made for the hallway where she met Margaret just going into the drawing room with an armf
ul of magazines.

  ‘Off out to meet one of your beaus, are you?’ she smirked nastily. ‘Looking like that you’ll probably get asked what you charge, especially if you flirt like you do when we have guests visit!’

  Choosing to ignore her, Flora marched towards the door and let herself out into the street, but once outside tears burned at the back of her eyes. Why was Margaret always so horrible to everyone? she wondered. If it was because of Toby then she was welcome to him. In fact, Flora wished to God that it was Margaret he was paying attention to and not her.

  She was so lost in thought that she found herself at the doors of the bank before she knew it. She went in and withdrew the money she needed and once it was safely tucked into her purse, she went back outside and began to wander aimlessly along the street. Now more than ever she regretted what she had done, but the problem was she had no idea how she was going to keep up the pretence.

  It was some time later when she suddenly stopped to take stock of where she was that she realised she was completely lost. Looking around, she noticed with a start that almost all the people she was passing were Chinese, so she guessed she must somehow have wandered into Chinatown, a part of the city Alex had warned her to avoid. Flora’s heart began to thump. The streets were narrow and dark and lined with tiny shops selling bunches of herbs and spices and the smell of curry added to the stench from the docks was overpowering. She felt as if everyone was staring at her, as if they could sense the hundred dollars she had tucked into her purse. Breathing heavily now, she looked up and down the street, unable to get her bearings. Suddenly the buildings seemed to close in on her, and she could almost sense people creeping up on her.