A Maiden's Voyage

by Rosie Goodwin

  Your loving Flora xxx

  And then with a heavy heart she added the letter to the others that had never been sent. Even now she couldn’t quite pluck up the courage to post it.

  ‘Before you go anywhere we need to go shoppin’ for some new clothes for you,’ Hattie told her one day. ‘You can’t go aboard a ship in them you’re wearin’. They’ll think you’re the cleaner, my girl.’

  ‘I suppose I could do with a few new ones,’ Flora admitted doubtfully, looking down at the faded skirt and blouse she was wearing. Since opening the café clothes hadn’t been high on her list of priorities. She’d always reasoned that she never went anywhere to wear them anyway. But now she supposed it wouldn’t do to turn up at home looking like some down and out.

  And so a few days later, after leaving the café in the capable hands of Jia Li, Hattie and Flora hit the shops. Flora had gone prepared to buy just a few basic necessities but Hattie had other ideas and dragged her from one shop to another.

  ‘I don’t need anything else,’ Flora protested eventually. ‘I’m loaded down with bags already.’ But although she was protesting, she’d been really enjoying herself. She wasn’t used to spoiling herself and had forgotten what good fun it could be.

  Hattie sniffed. ‘Hmm, I dare say we’ve got most of what you need but we’ll go and have a cup o’ tea and a bite to eat now, my treat. Then I can check what we’ve bought and see what else you might need.’

  As Flora had quickly discovered, Hattie could be as stubborn as a mule when she wanted to be, so she meekly followed her into a small restaurant where they ordered sandwiches, a selection of small cakes and a pot of tea.

  While they were eating, Hattie rifled through the bags and smiled with satisfaction. ‘I reckon a nice new pair of shoes an’ a new coat and you’ll be able to hold your own against the gentry now,’ she chuckled. ‘But don’t think we’re done yet. I’m taking you to the hairdresser’s then for a good trim. How long’s it been anyway since you had a decent haircut?’

  ‘I can’t remember. Probably about two years or so,’ Flora admitted hesitantly.

  Shortly after they were off again and Flora began to wonder where Hattie got all her energy from. She was really quite remarkable for a woman her age and showed no sign of tiring whatsoever. At the hairdressers Flora was placed in a chair while the young woman who was about to cut her hair eyed her thoughtfully through the mirror.

  ‘Slightly shorter styles are getting very popular, you know,’ she told Flora as she fingered her silky tresses. ‘And I think it would really suit you. How about I trim it up to your shoulders? You could always have it cut shorter next time if you like it but for now it would still be long enough for you to put it up if you wanted to.’

  ‘I’m not sure …’ Flora said hesitantly but Hattie was right behind her nodding vigorously.

  ‘Go on, what have you got to lose, you’re only young once,’ she urged persuasively. ‘And it’ll soon grow back if you don’t like it.’

  Flora took a great gulp and nodded. ‘Go on then.’

  She sat nervously watching the young hairdresser snipping away as her hair fell in sheets to the floor until she could bear to look no longer and closed her eyes.

  ‘All right, you can look now,’ the girl said eventually and Flora cautiously opened her eyes to peep in the mirror. She gasped with surprise when she saw her reflection and a smile spread across her face. Her hair felt bouncy and light and she actually loved her new look.

  ‘It looks wonderful,’ Hattie said approvingly. ‘There’s no point having lovely thick hair like yours and tying it back all the while so no one can see it.’

  Flora turned her head this way and that, feeling like a new woman, and then quickly paid the hairdresser and gave her a generous tip.

  ‘They’ll not recognise you when we get you home,’ Hattie teased on the way back. ‘Especially when we’ve got you into some of these new togs.’

  She was quite right. When Flora entered the café laden down with bags and sporting her brand-new hairdo both Jia Li and Hilda gasped.

  ‘Why, you look just like one o’ them fashion models in a magazine.’ Hilda declared doing a full turn around Flora and making the girl blush to the roots of her hair.

  As her hand rose self-consciously to stroke her hair she told them, ‘It was Hattie’s idea.’

  ‘And a very good idea it was too,’ Hilda crowed. ‘If she can make me look like that I’ll let her take me shoppin’ an’ all.’

  ‘Huh! I ain’t no good at miracles,’ Hattie snorted, which earned her a gentle whack with a tea towel.

  During their next quiet few minutes Flora tipped all her new clothes out onto the table for them all to look at and they couldn’t help but be impressed.

  ‘It’s about time you treated yourself,’ Hilda said as she held a fine lawn blouse up to inspect the stitching. But then the bell above the café door tinkled and Flora hastily stuffed all the new clothes back into the bags and dumped them on the stairs leading to her rooms until later. The shopping spree was over and for now at least it was back to business as usual.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Flora had jammed all her clothes and possessions into an old carpet bag that she had found in the market for a pittance, but three days before she was due to sail home Hattie, Hilda and Jia Li surprised her one evening when they presented her with a brand-new, brown leather suitcase.

  ‘We club together to buy it,’ Jia Li told her solemnly. ‘It our going-away present to you.’

  Flora was so touched that for a moment she couldn’t speak. ‘Thank you so much … it’s lovely and I shall treasure it.’ She sniffed at the new leather appreciatively and, laughing, she told them, ‘The trouble is, it’s so smart I don’t want to use it.’

  Tilly who had now come back to work on light duties, giggled. She’d been in the process of peeling some potatoes, a job she could do sitting at the table, but she’d stopped to see them give Flora her present. Each morning on his way to work, Ernie walked her to the café then came to collect her to take her home again when he’d finished. He watched over her constantly like a mother hen and Tilly was opening up like a flower before their very eyes thanks to his devotion. She had hero-worshipped Ernie ever since she was a little girl and could hardly believe that he now had feelings for her.

  ‘You just mark my words, them pair will be wed before the year’s out,’ Hattie whispered to them later that afternoon when they all sat together having a well-earned break. Flora hoped that she was right because she’d seen a change in Ernie too. The sad, haunted look had gone from his eyes now and she had an idea that he and Tilly were going to be very happy together.

  Just the day before she had received a letter from Colleen who had informed her that Ben had taken to work on the smallholding as if he’d been born to it. He never tired of working with the animals and Colleen was happy to report that he and her mammy and siblings all got on like a house on fire.

  Sure, I sometimes t’ink they love him more than they love me, so I do, Colleen had written, which made them all titter when Flora read it out to them.

  ‘Seems like love is in the air,’ Hattie said as she and Flora worked side by side in the kitchen later that day. ‘Now, let’s just hope that some of it rubs off on you eh, miss?’

  ‘I doubt that’s very likely,’ Flora answered.

  ‘Hmm, that all depends on if you’re big enough to swallow your pride and make the first move towards that young man you left behind when you get home.’

  Flora pretended she hadn’t heard her and got on with what she was doing.

  Before they knew it the day that Flora was due to sail had rolled around and the mood in the café was subdued. Dora had come to wish her well and say a tearful farewell to her the day before and now they all got ready to go with her to the ship to wave her off. Everyone she had come to love was there: Hattie, Hilda, Jia Li and Bai, Ernie and Tilly, and even Jimmy and Sam had come along.

  As they set off, with
Jimmy carrying her spanking new case for her, and Flora looking lovely in one of the pretty summer dresses that Hattie had talked her into, she paused just once to stare back at the little house and café she had worked so hard on, but then she purposefully looked straight ahead. She would never forget the friends she had made in New York, but it was time to think of the future now.

  Everything was hustle and bustle on the quay when they arrived as people hurried for the gangplank and yelled for porters.

  ‘Now, are you quite sure you’ve got everythin’?’ Hattie asked to hide her distress. She had never been blessed with a daughter but had she been she would have wanted one just like Flora. ‘Tickets? Money?’

  ‘It’s all in here.’ Flora patted her bag and gave her a reassuring smile as the others gathered around to say their goodbyes. There was a quick pat on the back from Sam and a peck on the cheek from Jimmy and Bai. A hug from Ernie and Tilly, tears from Hattie and Hilda, and finally it was time for her to say goodbye to Jia Li. Her pregnancy was now confirmed and she had a special glow about her.

  ‘You take good care now,’ the little Chinese girl told her. ‘You very special to me, like sister. And thank you for all you do for me and Bai. We never forget you.’ She patted her stomach then and told her, ‘If baby is girl we going to call her Flora after you.’

  Flora could only nod as they clung to each other for a moment. She was too choked to speak. And then she broke away and headed blindly for the gangplank. The goodbyes were proving to be far more difficult than she had thought they would be.

  As she began to ascend the gangplank, the first flutters of panic began to set in and Connie’s face flashed in front of her eyes. What if this ship sank too? Flora gripped the rail firmly as sweat broke out on her forehead and her heart began to thud painfully. By now she was amongst a rush of passengers all eager to get aboard and she felt herself being swept along with them until suddenly she was on the deck where a waiting steward asked to see her boarding pass. She fumbled in her bag and handed it to him and looking at the clipboard he held he told her, ‘You’re in cabin 208. Your luggage will already be there, miss.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she croaked as he turned to the next passenger in the line. She stumbled to the rail and gazed down into the sea of faces on the dock, desperate for a sight of her friends. After a moment she saw them, all smiling and waving frantically and it gave her courage.

  I can do this, she told herself sternly. Lightning doesn’t strike twice.

  Even so it took every ounce of courage she had to stand there and wave back at them. It seemed an age until the gangplank was hauled up and the sound of the enormous engines chugged into life. She was gripping the rail so tightly that her knuckles had turned white but still she managed to keep the smile plastered to her face until eventually New York and the faces of the people she had grown to love became just specks in the distance. Only then did she venture away from the rail and on legs that felt as if they had turned to jelly she went to locate her cabin. When she eventually found it she discovered that it was nowhere near as opulent as the ones she and Connie had had aboard the Titanic. It was quite small with just a single bed, a small wardrobe and a tiny bathroom leading off it. There was no balcony but it did have a porthole that looked out over the sea, and it was comfortable and adequate for her needs so she had no complaints. She stayed in her room all day reading and didn’t venture out until hunger got the better of her and she went in search of the dining hall. Every second her ears were straining to listen to the engines in case they stopped abruptly as they had when she was aboard the Titanic. But they chugged away comfortingly and slowly she began to get over her panic and feel a little more in control of herself.

  Over the next few days she kept herself very much to herself. Occasionally she went for a stroll on deck but the majority of her time was spent reading as she took full advantage of the ship’s small library. And then, at last, her homeland came into sight in the distance and tears of relief sprang to her eyes.

  It was late in the afternoon when the passengers finally left the ship and for a moment she stood on the quay relishing the feel of dry land beneath her feet. Tightly clutching her shiny new suitcase, she wondered if she should book herself into a small hotel for the night, but by now she was so eager to see her family again that she decided she would head for the train station, even if it meant travelling through the night on the next train bound for London.

  Late the following morning she was at last walking along familiar streets. She had catnapped on the train but now she was suddenly bright-eyed at the prospect of seeing her home again. Minutes later she turned a corner and there it was. Her heart was thudding again, but with joy this time as she raced towards the door and threw it open. Her mother was standing at the sink but her face instantly broke into a smile and tears of joy began to streak down her cheeks as she ran across the room to wrap Flora in her arms.

  ‘Oh love, you gave us a right scare, I don’t mind tellin’ you,’ she sobbed. Then holding her daughter at arm’s length, she took a long hard look at her. Somehow, during the time she had been away from home, Flora had grown from a young girl into a confident-looking young woman.

  The reunion with the rest of her family later that evening was an emotional one. They had all believed her to be dead but as yet no one had broached the lie she had lived when first arriving in New York.

  It was actually Flora herself who raised the subject with her mother over breakfast the next morning when she said quietly, ‘I’m so sorry I put you through all that heartache, Ma. It must have been so hard for you all thinking I was dead. I’m so ashamed now of what I did.’

  ‘Shush now!’ Her mother smiled at her. ‘I admit it was hard for us but we accept that it must have been even harder for you. There you were after surviving the ship going down in a strange country with no one you knew. It’s no wonder you were afraid and decided to take on Connie’s identity for a time.’

  ‘I never intentionally set out to do it,’ Flora explained as she fiddled nervously with the fringes on the edge of the chenille tablecloth. She went on to tell her mother about the mix-up on the boat when they had found Connie’s aunt’s address in the belt she was wearing. ‘They thought I was Connie so I just sort of went along with it, but then once I had met Alex it got harder and I couldn’t go on living a lie.’ She also told her about Toby and the way he had tried to blackmail her and about the café and all the friends she had made as her mother listened, solemn-faced.

  ‘So, you signed over everything to Jia Li before you left, did you? You must have thought a great deal of her after all your hard work. I just hope she doesn’t let you down, but then I’m sure you know her well enough to trust her. But now tell me all about Colleen, Ben’s new wife.’

  ‘Oh, she’s a really lovely person and she adores Ben,’ Flora assured her mother. ‘I just know they’re going to be happy together.’

  Her mother nodded. It still hurt that he had chosen to live so far away but she was coming to terms with it. ‘It’s perhaps as well he did decide to settle in Ireland,’ she said sadly. ‘He got in with a bad lot over here. It sounds like this Colleen will keep him on the straight and narrow and all I want at the end of the day is for him to be happy. That goes for you too, which leads me to ask, do you still have feelings for the young man you were seeing before you left?’

  Flora glanced towards the window as colour rose in her cheeks and she slowly nodded. ‘I didn’t realise just how much I did think of him until I was on the way to New York,’ she admitted. ‘But it’s too late now. I’ve been gone for well over a year. Jamie has probably got himself another girl by now and who could blame him? I put what I wanted to do before his feelings.’

  ‘It’s never too late if you still have feelings for him,’ her mother answered gently. ‘Why don’t you write to him?’

  Flora shook her head. She had come home with very little apart from a new suitcase, a load of new clothes and her pride. And a pile of unsent letters to
Jamie tied in ribbon. Her mother secretly thought that Flora was making a grave mistake but she said nothing and for then the subject was dropped.

  Over the next few days, Flora began to search for another job and eventually she found one in a busy café in the city centre. It wasn’t long before the owners realised that she knew every aspect of the business so they left more and more of the running of it to her and soon it began to feel as if she had never been away as her life settled into a pattern again. And if Flora felt deep down that something was still missing from her life she gave no sign of it and threw herself into her work. It was only at night when she was curled up in her bed that she allowed herself to think of Jamie and what might have been.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  July 1914

  ‘Didn’t I tell you that a war was on the cards?’ Flora’s father said one evening as he sat reading the newspaper. ‘The Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife have been assassinated in Sarajevo! Nothing good will come of this, you just mark my words.’

  Emily didn’t look over-concerned as she continued to fold the washing she had just fetched in from the line ready for ironing the next day. ‘I really don’t see how somethin’ that hasn’t even happened in our country could affect us,’ she commented, but her husband shook his head.

  ‘Let’s just wait an’ see then, shall we?’ he answered and went back to reading the papers as Emily and Flora exchanged a worried glance.

  For some reason Flora’s thoughts instantly turned to Jamie, as they often still did. Many a time since she had returned home, she had been on the verge of going to see him, or at least writing to him, but her pride had always stopped her and the longer it went on the harder it got. But what if her father was right and war was declared? Would it mean that all the young men would be called up to fight? Would Jamie be one of them? The thought filled her with dread so she tried to push it to the back of her mind.