The Impact of You

by Kendall Ryan

Page 10

 

  “You know this isn’t going to work. Should we just get it out of the way?” he asks finally.

  “Get what out of the way?”

  “Sex. ”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’ve got to feel this raw sexual energy radiating between us. ”

  I scoff. “I most certainly do not. ” Lie. My damn panties are probably wet. Bastard.

  He laughs, a deep throaty chuckle that lights up my nerve endings and makes my skin tingle. “Despite your tendency to lie through your teeth about being attracted to me, you’re still outrageously delicious. ”

  “Delicious?”

  “Outrageously so. ”

  “So now I’m outrageously delicious? Isn’t that a cereal tagline?”

  “No. That’s magically delicious. And stop changing the subject. ”

  “And what subject are we on?” I ask, suddenly breathless.

  “The eventual sex we’re going to have. I’m going to open you up in more ways than one, babe. ”

  Holy shit. My knees buckle and I reach out to grasp onto Jase’s biceps. “Jase,” I rasp. If I had any upper body strength I’d punch myself in the ovaries for the idiotic way I’m behaving. But he possesses the distinct ability to turn me into a pile of hormones, and there’s no denying that fact.

  His eyes have gone dark, all the humor has disappeared from his face. “Tell me what you want. ”

  “I can’t. I need more time. ”

  His eyes dart from my mouth to my eyes. “We’ll discuss this later. I’ll show you to your room. ”

  I nod and follow him, being sure to keep my clutch on his arm so I don’t stagger on my uncooperative legs.

  Over dinner, Jase asks his mom about her therapy appointments and medication dosage, and I’m surprised they’re talking so openly in front of me. On the car ride over, Jase explained the reason he needed to check on her – saying that she lost it several months ago and was briefly hospitalized. I’m sure there’s more to the story, but not wanting to pry, I allowed him to share only what he was comfortable with me knowing. Lord knew there were plenty of secrets I kept to myself. The fact that Jase has brought me home and introduced me to his mom, someone who’s clearly important to him, leaves me feeling rattled. He continues to surprise me with his openness – making himself vulnerable while I stay closed off.

  His mom squeezes his hand from across the table, the simple touch meant to reassure. “I’m on a low dose anxiety pill, but I told you, honey, I really am doing much better. I’ve been exercising again, gardening a little too. Things are good right now. ” She smiles at him, but Jase’s face remains serious, guarded, like he’s trying desperately to decipher her words.

  I sit in silence while his mom heaps a scoop of mashed potatoes and a slice of meatloaf onto my plate. It’s nice to have a home cooked meal, and the food smells delicious.

  “I’m so proud of my son. I can’t believe you’re a junior in college already. Your dad and I are both proud,” Cathy says out of the blue. I think she’s just desperately trying to change the subject. I know I would be.

  “Don’t, Mom. ”

  “I’m serious, Jase. He felt bad about how things went last time you were home. ”

  Jase shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “Let’s just drop it. I’m sure Avery doesn’t want to hear all the family bullshit. ”

  “Jase,” Cathy pleads.

  I find his hand under the table and give it a squeeze. “It’s fine. ”

  I hate seeing Jase uncomfortable, and apparently discussing his Dad sets him off. I want to take the pressure off him, and feeling inspired by how open they’ve been, I take a deep breath and launch into the story about starting my search for my birthmom. Cathy leans forward, silently encouraging me with the soft crinkles around her eyes. The crease between Jase’s brows disappears. It’s the first time I’ve confirmed to Jase that I went ahead and completed the initial paperwork and he grins at me.

  After that little sharing session, I focus on my meal, attempting a bite of the meatloaf. It’s horribly dry and I force the bite down. Across the table, Jase is doing the same, the lump of food lodged in his throat visible.

  Cathy sets her fork down and frowns. “Sorry, I didn’t make any sauce or gravy, you guys. Is it too dry?” she asks.

  “No, it’s great,” I lie.

  She smiles apologetically, like she knows I’m lying but isn’t going to call me on it. Jase smirks and takes a gulp of his water to get the bite down.

  * * *

  “Sorry about that meatloaf from hell,” Jase says, slipping into the hot tub next to me. It takes a full minute for his words to register. His chest and abs are sickening. His entire torso is sculpted muscle and I’m a horny, hormonal mess. Crap!

  “Hm? Oh, it’s fine,” I manage when I realize he’s still waiting for a response.

  “She’s normally a really good cook,” he says, sinking onto the bench seat beside me. He finds my hand under the warm water and gives it a squeeze. Chill bumps rise over my skin, despite the heat vapors drifting lazily around us. “You’re already pruned. ” His fingers skim along mine.

  “You took forever to change,” I explain.

  “Yeah, sorry about that. I went to say goodnight to my mom and wanted to ask again about how she was doing. ”

  “Oh. ” Now I feel guilty, complaining I had to wait in a wonderfully relaxing hot tub while he took care of his mom, probably tucking her in and everything like a good son. A bad boy who loves his mom? Oh Lord, I’m done for. I shift on the bench seat, suddenly finding things a bit cramped with Jase’s large form stretched out next to me. There’s nowhere to look that isn’t his tan, smooth skin, nowhere to move where I won’t accidently brush against him.

  His grip on my wrist effectively stops my squirming. “Hey, Whistle. Breathe for me, okay?”

  Can he see the panicked look on my face? Hear the pounding of my heartbeat?

  I pull a ragged breath into my lungs as Jase slides closer and tips my chin to meet his eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong. ”

  “You…”

  “Me?” His smile falters.

  “Not you…but you in swim trunks…”

  He looks down at his naked chest, his gaze wandering down to the navy blue board shorts submerged underwater. A slow smile blooms on his mouth as he realizes that his half-naked form is what’s gotten me all flustered. “Babe, you in a bathing suit is a thing of fucking wonder, trust me. But I told you, nothing’s gonna happen that you’re not ready for. ”

  A tiny whimper escapes the back of my throat and my eyes slide closed.

  Jase is going to think I’m crazy. Hell, I am crazy. I’ve warned him away from me numerous times, and now I’m ready to beg him to get closer. Far from the pressures of school, in a place where no one knows me and a beautiful man is looking at me with desire in his eyes? There’s no way I’ll be able to resist. And the thing is, I don’t want to. I just want to let go.

  His expression is tense, his jaw working as he reads the emotions in my features. “Whistle…” His hold on my jaw remains, his thumb lightly stroking my cheek. “Stay still. Let me kiss you. ” He moves closer, not waiting for my answer. It must be obvious on my face. His breath mingles with my own as he closes the distance between us. “Just once,” he whispers.

  When my hands move from my lap, I’m not sure. But they tangle themselves in the hair at the back of his neck, and I use the leverage to pull Jase closer. His mouth presses against mine, warm and solid and grounding me in this moment. His lips begin to move, slowly devouring, slowly unraveling what I’ve worked hard to bury. His tongue glides along mine and a wave of heat tingles on my skin, pooling between my legs. One more soft caress of his tongue swiping against mine, and Jase pulls back to gauge my reaction.

  My entire body is humming with pleasure, and I’m ready for more. “Still with me?” he asks.

  I nod, obediently.

  His jaw relaxes, and he
slouches down into the bench seat, visibly relieved at my reassurance. With one hand still holding mine, he pulls me over to him, nestling me in against his body. Which is good, because without something solid to grasp onto, it’s possible I could drown in the three feet of water.

  His fingers lace with mine and he releases a heavy sigh. “Okay…so you liked the kiss. ”

  I nod.

  “And your body was practically begging me to continue…” His fingertips lightly graze my bare thigh. “Which means I’m completely confused. ”

  I swallow a wave of nerves, biting my lip but make no move to explain.

  “Say it, Avery. Tell me this is okay. You’re not like other girls I’ve been with, and I fucking love that, but I’m totally unsure what to do here. ”

  I know I’ve told him I’m not ready, that I don’t want this. But what scares me more than anything is that I actually do want this…want him…so bad I can feel it in my core. “I’m not good at all this. I had my trust broken big time. And I just…”

  His hand squeezes mine. “Hey. It’s okay. I don’t want to push you. You just…you know how I feel about you, right? You’re perfect, Avery. ”

  Ha! I am so far from perfect, but rather than tear myself down again, I focus on his words, the honest need in his eyes. He doesn’t mention the R-word, so I’m not sure if we are talking about a relationship or just the physical aspects. And I still hate his relationship with Stacia more than is even remotely normal. But half-naked Jase is clouding my judgment and I crawl over into his lap, placing my palms on each of his cheeks. “Kiss me again. ”

  Several minutes later, I’m moving against his lap and we’re still kissing eagerly when Jase pulls back. “Avery…wait. My mom’s bedroom is right up there. ” He points to the second floor window looking down on us. “I think she’s sleeping, but just in case…we should go inside. ”

  I nod, and disentangle myself from his lap. Sheesh. The last thing she needs to see is me wildly riding her son in their hot tub.

  Watching Jase get out of the hot tub is a test of my physical restraint. His erection strains against his swim trunks and he tucks a towel around his waist, grimacing as though it’s painful. He grips my hand firmly and tows me inside as I let out a giggle.

  Chapter 14

  Jase

  Avery is damp and flushed from the hot water and is lying against my pillow. It is a beautiful sight. She chews on her bottom lip. “Are you sure your mom won’t be mad that I’m in here?”

  My mom knew I was sexually active from the time I was sixteen and supplied me with condoms; I’m pretty sure she’d be okay with this. I just nod. “She won’t care. Trust me. ”

  “Well, I’m not sleeping in here,” she says.

  “Whatever you want. ”

  I lie down next to her, curling my body around hers. She’s changed into a pair of little sleep shorts and a tank top, with no bra – which my dick won’t let me forget – but I have no plans of pushing her any farther than she wants to go. I’d changed into jeans and a T-shirt, not wanting to be presumptuous. Avery snakes a hand under my shirt and rests her palm against my back. The simple touch from her is highly intimate, knowing how cautious she is sharing anything physical.

  She angles her body closer to mine, and I remain still, allowing her to take the lead. She’s looking at my mouth again and I know I’m not going to be able to resist. Anchoring one arm around her, I lean down and kiss her. I’m not used to going this slow, hell I’m not used to having a girl in my bed at home after just having dinner with my mom. But I like it. Avery’s pouty mouth is so soft against mine, I can’t resist deepening the kiss, tasting her again. And when my tongue touches hers, her soft moan punctuates the silence, and desire races through me. Before I have time to consider my next move, I’m on top of her, caging her in with my body, kissing her deeply and crushing my hips against hers. The way Avery moves her body under mine, sliding her hands up and down my back, angling her hips to meet mine is incredible. She’s warm and soft and I want more.

  She breaks the kiss suddenly. “Jase, what are we doing?”

  My hand freezes over her ribs, feeling her heart ricochet against them. She wants to talk now? “I’m trying to get to second base. ” I smile weakly.

  She laughs softly, burying her face in my shoulder. “I meant what is this…with us?”

  “What do you want it to be?” I brush the stray hair back from her face.

  “I, I don’t know,” she admits.

  “Okay. ” She’s not giving me much to go on. “Do you need me to stop?”

  This time her voice is firm. “No. ”

  Thank God.

  “Now, about that second base. ” Her voice is careful and she fixes her mouth in a polite smile.

  A smirk overtakes my mouth. This girl is too much. I’d die if she didn’t want me to touch her there. Her tits are lovely in the most distracting way possible. I’d barely been able to keep my hands off them in the hot tub, peeking out from the little bikini, but now there’s only a thin cotton T-shirt separating us, and she’s coaxing me on. Shit, I can feel her nipples rasping against me when she moves.

  The little smile still playing at the edge of her lips, Avery lifts her shirt over her head and tosses it to the floor. Holy. Shit. She makes no move to cover herself, though her cheeks hold a hint of heat. Her chest rises and falls heavily with each breath, and her eyes stay glued to mine.

  “You’re amazing,” I whisper, trailing a knuckle over her collarbone as my eyes travel down. “So beautiful. ”

  She swallows heavily and her hands scramble to remove my shirt next. I yank it over the back of my head and toss it to the floor, then lower myself down on her again. Why had I never noticed the brilliance of skin to skin contact? She’s warm and soft and still moving against me. This couldn’t have been more intimate if I was inside her. Her warm skin rubbing against mine, the rise and fall of her heavy breasts with each breath is enough to undo me.