On the top of the world

by Madeleine Ruh

as his new purchased tee-shirt mentionned "I like vegetables, I live in a country of vegetables." They had a great discussion about how travel was to be lost and find oneself. She advised him to taste the specialty : a sake ice cream, with green tea jam on the top of it.

  - "I visited old houses, they're beautiful and in good state. The snow must be dense in winter. That impressive to see how the roof is done in thatch."

  The man listen to him and takes some tea in the pot.

  - "Yes, when they redo it in Spring, they're twenty of them on the roof to change the thatch. They work as a community, they share tasks. We do it every two years."

  Silence.

  - "So, my question was what did you see today, not as a tourist, but as a person who travels."

  - "That's a tough question, or intimate."

  He didn't like very much to talk about himself, and even if the man had an open face, smiling in his eyes, he was cautious. Finally, he talks without breathing :

  - "You know what, I'm coming from China. And even when you do a tour in China, you're very tired. You're on a road, and then it disappears, as the local government has broken it to do a new one, but the new one is not here. You follow with your car a truck filled with rocks, and suddenly a little rock falls on you and crashes the window. You arrive in a bedroom, happy to relax you take a shower, and two cockroachs come from the tube. You're disgusted. You try to sleep and you hear music and people shouting at each other, arguing, just talking loudly but spitting on the street every five minutes. China is suffering, it's a country used to have leaders, now the one that leads are the smartest ones, not concerned by the rules, you become easily a king of chicken, or king of buttons, of salt, or king of anything. And the others are very poor. Disparities are huge, and nature has disappeared of their big picture, first and foremost they want it all, now, opportunities are what matters. By contrast, Japan is disturbing…First it's an old country, you see a lot of polite retired people, wether in groups, in couples, or alone…People grow vegetables, spend time to take care of flowers… I don't know why I say that, I mean, each of you seem to have a strong relationship with the nature, as a vital source of energy…"

  The man looks intrigued and listens carefully.

  - "Japan is beautiful. Cities are well organized. You enter a taxi, the doors open automatically, and the guy has white gloves. You arrive in a ryokan and people spend their time to apologize or thank you for being here or waiting. You walk in a little village, and you see gardener cutting little pieces of trees to make them look like bonzais. You've got stores with plenty of little cute things that are not useful, but just for the happyness of having them and looking at them. You look at a retired man with white hair at the train station, he looks strict but he's got a little red monkey on his suit case, like the child has never totally disappeared. All color are subtile, and flowers are everywhere. In Hakone, I've discovered a museum, the Osaka museum"… He interrupts himself as about to say that billionnaires were generously sharing the view of their art collection but suddenly remembering the guy was a casino owner, which was not going in the idyllic picture.

  The man sights.

  - "I'm not sure you can understand Japan just by looking at things and landscapes. It's a rough history. It's a country of values and principles. But people are keeping emotions for them".`

  He answered speaking to him : "In Zhaoxing, an ancient Dong village, the guide was giving orders to me, can you believe it, shouting "Follow me, I'm the guide", just because the car park was far away and I didn't catch why he didn't take the car with the driver.

  - "That's not important, is it ?

  - I was very upset, as having the feeling not to control the situation. When I decided to travel, it was to escape my daily life. It's a boring daily life. The morning, I wake up at seven and take a hot shower, then I take my cereals, always the same, with a little brown sugar, and skimmed milk. Then I go to work in a dark grey suit, from 9.00 am to 12.30 am, I take tirty minutes to take a salad, or tuna salad or chicken salad, then I come back to work, from time to time I do late hours. I don't have any girl friend. I tried, but I'm not at ease with conversations. I've got friends, but they're married now. They have children. They're busy. When we see each others, they telling the same old stories when we were young and went to parties. My parents are very old, I avoid them. My father is autocratic and thinks I'm a looser. My mother thinks like my father from the begining. They had expectations for me. A great career, a beautiful and smart wife, and grand children.They have nothing, as I don't want any of that. Traveling is finding oneself, don't you think so ?

  The man puts his big hands on his pants and asserts : "I never travel, but I think I know who I am. Who told you that ?"

  The traveler said : "You know this morning I didn't like very much the tofu and the fish. I'm used to my cereals with skimmed milk. But I know that when I'll come back at home, I will miss your breakfast."

  - "So, in a way, if I understand you, you're not happy in the present, you feel better in the past with nostalgia, or you project the future, inventing things that will perhaps never happen. For instance, how did you imagine the village and the place where we sit now ?"

  The guest laughs.

  - "I knew there was not a private open air bath as in other places. I imagined a big town where I could do biking, looking at yellow ricefields, girls gossiping in their uniforms going out of school at five, little rivers with huge carps in it because the water is so pure from the mountains. I imagined a little paradise with old peasants, skinny and elegant, doing their chore in white shirts. And an old lady giving me some sweets made from red beans for my tea, when I stop at her house to take a picture."

  The host laughs.

  - "So you were suprised. That's good news. You saw two villages in one. The one you dreamt and the one you saw.

  - I must say I liked the little walk under the village. I saw the cimetery, a shrine, and little autels for gods."

  From the kitchen, the mother says something to his son in Japanese, and he translates : "Diner will be served in ten minutes." And he leaves the room to help his mother for preparing the dishes. On tatamis, even if his body is heavy, one can't hear any noise when he moves.

  When he comes back, it's a festival for the eyes. The fishes cooked on their sticks near the fire during two hours are surrounded by little dishes : tofu, tempura with pumpkin, tiny mushrooms and a huge round one, a piece of carott with a square shape and some strange vegetables, asparagus, sashimi with wasabi, thin rice noodles, pickles, and the traditional miso soup and rice.

  At the end of the diner, that the guest eats as if he was starving, the host makes an appearance.

  - "You do things fast. First the bath, then the diner. Take our time. Would you like hot tea or fresh water ? Ok, hot tea. Where do you go tomorrow morning ?

  - I take the Kaetsuno bus to the station JR Shin Takaoka, then I change for the Shinkansen, then another train and I arrive to Kyoto."

  The man looks at him as wanting to continue the discussion.

  - " Do you want me to drop you tomorrow at nine at the station, I have to do some business in the town.

  - No, thank you so much, but I need to leave at seven thirty. Thank you for you hospitality, I've seen my bed is ready, I will go to sleep as I wake up early. Thank you again.

  - Indeed, your bed is ready. Enjoy. See you tomorrow at seven for the breakfast. No corn flakes !"

  Outside one can hear the noise of the river. There are crickets too. The mother is doing noises in the kitchen.

  It's peaceful.

  When he goes to the toilets thirty minutes later, his careful not to make any noise with the rice paper doors, as he slamed them at the begining.

  In front of the toilets is the kitchen, the curtain is open now. Everything is clean and in order now on the wooden table, there are mushrooms in a box, and a big pumpkin. He can see the large shoulders of the man, he's behind his mother and kissing her in the neck while caressing her braist. He
's whispering in her left ear and she has a sudden laughter.

  He's so surprised that he can't move. Then he slowly moves forward to the toilets, happy to sit on the reinsuring warm surface, and not to have to flush the water as automatic. He slowly comes back to his room, and as a child, he tries to erase the images that don't fit with the poetic atmosphere of the place. It smells wood. One can't hear any noise in the house, far away a dog barking. During the night, he does confusing dreams that become nightmares, where his mother is urging him to be not good but excellent at school and put her hand under the bed's sheet to find her penis and caress him to relieve him from all tensions, at the same time showing to him her white porcelain braist. The first time he has an erection which scares him as he's becoming mad. He wakes up many times his body covered with perspiration, and looks at the clock of his mobile ten times to wake up at the sunrise, and to be sure not to miss his train.

  Japan. Gokayama September 2015

  At the Benesse House

  The sea is scintillating under the sun. Like gods supervising the world, we dominate the entire world like an arty Olymp.

  We are in the oval building, part of the famous Tadao Ando's master piece of architecture. Only six bedrooms. On one side the door opens on the oval shape of water mirroring the sky. On the other the window open on the infinite sea with