Irrevocable

by Shay Savage

  Alina groans again, and I shush her. She tightens her grip on the back of my head and grasps the edge of the bed with her other hand.

  “Faster, Evan. Please…I want…” She pants her words and bends her knee a little more to wrap her calf around my thighs.

  I comply, moving as fast as I can at this angle. My head swims, my balls tighten, and I know I can’t keep this up for long.

  “Come on baby,” I whisper in her ear. “Let me feel you come on my cock.”

  I time my thrusts with the movement of her hips, rubbing my fingers in a circle around her clit with the same rhythm. Alina turns her head to the side, muffling her cries with the pillow as I feel her tighten around me when I quicken my pace.

  “Oh, fuck! Yeah!” I don’t even bother to stifle myself as I release into her. I pull her back against my chest and hold her as my heart begins to slow.

  “This hospital bed is suddenly a lot more comfortable,” I say.

  Alina laughs, causing me to slip out of her. She turns over to face me and places her hand against my cheek.

  “You are incredible,” she says.

  “I just want you to be happy,” I tell her. “I want to get out of here, take you home, and do this to you every day.”

  “I think that sounds like a wonderful plan.”

  *****

  “Look what I have!” Dr. Reiss comes in with a clipboard full of paperwork. “I just need you to read through all this, sign it, and then schedule your first follow-up visit. After that, you can go home.”

  “Really?” Alina’s smile lights up her face.

  “Good,” I say. “The food here sucks.”

  “I’m going to make you one of Lele’s recipes for dinner tonight,” Alina promises as she kisses my cheek.

  Dr. Reiss shakes my hand and tells me she’ll see me next week. I turn to Alina after the doctor leaves and grab onto her hand.

  “So, does all this mean you’re going to stay? I mean, you’ll stay in my apartment?”

  “Yes, I will. If you still want me to, of course.”

  “I do.” I grip her hand tightly. “I really do.”

  “Good,” Alina says, “because I’ve kinda gotten used to it, and I’d really like to get used to it again with you there.”

  “What are you going to do about…um…work?”

  “I really don’t know,” Alina says. “I figure as long as we’re...well, as long as we’re together, I can’t exactly work the same job. Anyway, Teto apparently left town after that night.”

  “Why?”

  “You don’t remember any of it, do you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Teto was leading those people right to you,” she says. “I talked to Jonathan about it, and he said Teto had since left town. He’s on his way to Mexico or something.”

  I rather doubt Teto just left town.

  “Forget about him. You don’t need that kind of work, and he’s out of the picture now.”

  “I really don’t know how to do anything else.”

  “What would you like to do?”

  Alina tilts her head and considers for a minute.

  “Honestly? I’d like to go back to school and at least get my GED. If I had that, maybe some of the community colleges would consider me. I’d still have to come up with tuition money though.”

  I hand the nurse all the paperwork, and she gives me a packet of instructions along with some prescriptions to be filled.

  “You are all set, Mr. Arden!”

  “Thanks.”

  Alina takes the hospital wheelchair’s handles and pushes me through the hallways as the orderly trails behind.

  “Would you work at one of my businesses?” I ask.

  “I don’t know, Evan.”

  “I mean one of the totally legit ones,” I add quickly, “like, a receptionist at the car dealership or maybe the uniform place.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re strong,” I say quietly so we aren’t overheard. “You like your independence. It was hard for you to even ask me for money to keep my own apartment. I want you to feel like…well, to feel like you can do whatever you want. I don’t think you want a handout from me, so this would be you earning your own money without me paying you for the sex.”

  “I don’t know,” Alina says softly. “I mean, I appreciate it, and it sounds good, but I’ve never done anything like that before. I don’t even have the right kind of clothes for something like that.”

  “That’s pretty easy to fix.”

  “Maybe.” She still seems doubtful, but I’ve been thinking about this.

  “You’d be earning your own money for classes,” I say. “Once you get a degree, you could work wherever you wanted. In the meantime, I have to pay for the apartment and all that for me. Having one more person isn’t a big deal.”

  Alina stops right by the hospital exit where the wheelchair is returned to the orderly. She turns to me and stares me in the face. She’s wearing a huge smile.

  “You know what, Evan? I think that just might work.”

  She wraps her arms around my neck, and I pull her close to me. I can smell lavender, but I’m not sure if it’s on her skin or if I just remember it from the night before. It doesn’t matter; it’s still comforting. It reminds me that she’s always there for me, and my mind is at peace.

  I don’t know what the future holds for us. The crime business is ultimately out of my hands now, and I know it will be different this time. It’s different because I’m different.

  So I walk out of the hospital.

  Alina at my side.

  No longer alone.

  I really think I’m ready to move on now.

  Epilogue—Otherwise Healed

  “You shouldn’t live in Chicago without seeing the sights.”

  “Why exactly does that have to involve taking the bus?” Alina sighs, and I grab her hand to lead her up the stairs to swipe our transport passes.

  “All part of the experience.”

  It’s a busy Saturday afternoon. The weather is nice, and the bus is full of tourists. There’s going to be a long line at Willis Tower, but I don’t mind. I focus inside of myself so often now that sometimes I don’t even notice all the people around me. It’s a big change from always watching everything, but I don’t mind that either.

  “You see that?” I point to the sidewalk as we exit the bus.

  “What?”

  I hold her hand and maneuver through the other people getting off the bus so Alina can get a better look. Near the edge of the building is a strange arrangement.

  “What the heck is that?”

  “Duh,” I say as I gesture to the object on the ground. “It’s a neatly folded dress sock with a pile of French fries in the middle of it.”

  “I have no words.” Alina stares at the object and slowly shakes her head.

  “Only in Chicago!”

  “I can’t even comprehend this,” she says. “Why in the world is this here?”

  “It’s modern art! It’s obviously a political statement about fashion in the restaurant industry. Don’t you get it? Come on, I’m the one who’s supposed to have the brain damage here.”

  She looks up at me with one eyebrow raised, and I bend down to quickly kiss her lips.

  “Speaking of restaurants, I’m taking you to 676 when we’re done here.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A restaurant and bar. You haven’t lived until you’ve had one of their raspberry martinis and a peanut butter and jelly waffle.”

  “That actually sounds really good.”

  “It’s incredible.” With her hand still in mine, we head over to the entrance.

  It’s been a little over a year since I was shot. A little over a year since a bullet went through my brain. Jonathan and Eddie-boy have been running the show all this time, and that suits me just fine. In name, it still belongs to me, and I think that still counts as fulfilling my duty to Rinaldo. Lele moved back to Italy while I was still in a coma,
taking both of her daughters with her. She came back to visit once and gave Alina all her family recipes.

  My reputation as a killer, combined with surviving a shot to the head, seems to keep my enemies at bay. Though I’m no more than a figurehead now, no one is willing to challenge the organization. I’m both surprised and impressed with how well Jonathan and Eddie-boy have done with the businesses. There’s more legitimate money coming in now, and they’ve hired a lot of good people to keep everything running smoothly.

  Being physically broken seems to have helped me become less mentally damaged. Mark doesn’t think it has anything to do with the injury to my brain but rather the experience itself. Even though I don’t remember it, it seems to have changed my outlook on life and other people. I don’t understand it, but it’s working for me. I can still be impulsive and scatterbrained now, but as long as Alina is around me or Maisy is playing fetch, I’m actually pretty happy. When I’m alone, I still have the occasional panic attack, and the nightmares never completely stopped, but they got better. Sometimes I feel bad for Alina having to put up with it all and wonder if she feels like she’s stuck with me. She keeps telling me she doesn’t think of it that way, and I believe her.

  I’ve never told her that I love her. I think I do, but I haven’t said it.

  The line is insanely long, and it twists and turns through roped-off corridors as people take their pictures near the signs on the walls. We sit in the movie theatre and watch a documentary on the building of the tower, and Alina leans her head on my shoulder as the images on the screen flash by.

  We finally make it to the elevator and the long ride to the top. When the doors open, I hear Alina gasp at the view. We head up near the windows where they have some of those short-range telescopes you can use if you shove a few quarters into them.

  “Is that our apartment building?” Alina grips the rail as she looks out over the city.

  “Yes. There’s Millennium Park and Soldier Field over there. See the Ferris wheel over at Navy Pier? And there are all the museums. Maybe we should try one of them out when we’re done here.”

  Alina checks out all the souvenirs while I step onto the Skydeck. I stand on the huge piece of glass and look down into empty space. It’s unnerving to step onto the clear platform, but once I get out there, it’s not bad. Heights have never been a trigger for me, so I’m good.

  Everything looks so peaceful from this high up. Even the crowds of people in the street seem orderly. It’s only when you get too close that you can see how ugly it can be.

  I’m responsible for so much of that ugliness.

  I feel a hand slip into mine, and Alina steps tentatively onto the platform.

  “Shit,” she mutters, “this is crazy.”

  “They parked a semi-truck on these platforms,” I say, reminding her of the video we had seen. “It’s all good.”

  She tightens her fingers around mine and looks down.

  “So high…”

  I chuckle, bring her hand to my lips, and kiss the back of her knuckles. We both go back to looking over the city, pointing out landmarks and places we’ve been. A man and a woman next to us have a playful argument about whether or not the woman should bring the baby she has in her arms out over the ledge. Eventually she does, but the baby doesn’t seem impressed, and they depart quickly. I watch them go.

  “Do you want to have a baby?”

  “What?” Alina turns to me, eyes wide. “Evan, are you serious?”

  “I think so,” I say with a shrug. “I mean, if you want to. I don’t know anything about kids though.”

  “I don’t know very much about them either,” Alina admits. “Loretta has a kid, but he was always with his father and almost never at our place. I’ve never been around babies.”

  “Me either. Bastian has a kid though, and it seems to be working for him. If he can do it, maybe I can, too.”

  “I’m not sure I’m ready for anything like that.” Alina leans her head against my chest.

  “Maybe not right away or anything,” I say, “but someday. You know—maybe in a few years. Make sure all my medical stuff comes back okay. Well, as okay as it can be.”

  Alina reaches up and strokes the long scar from my temple to my jaw.

  “Someday,” she says quietly. “I don’t think we are quite there yet.”

  I nod, recognizing the impulsivity of my question. I’m prone to that now, apparently. Alina has to talk me down every once in a while.

  “Maybe we could breed Maisy,” I say. “Puppies might be entertaining.”

  “Maybe.” Alina laughs.

  I pull her close to me and brush my lips against hers.

  “Want me to take your picture?” A bright-eyed woman behind us smiles and bobs her head up and down.

  Alina looks at me and gives me a little shrug. We’ve never taken a picture together.

  “Sure,” I say. I hand the woman my phone, and Alina steps up close to me. I wrap my arm around her and smile at the camera.

  The flash goes off a couple of times, and the woman hands me my phone so we can see the pictures. They look good, and I thank her.

  As I stare at the picture, I can’t help but think how beautiful Alina looks with the cityscape behind her. It’s nice to have Alina’s smiling face on my phone where I will be able to look at her when she isn’t home.

  She doesn’t leave me alone very often, which I appreciate, but sometimes it’s necessary.

  I wonder if I should have it printed out and put it up in the apartment somewhere. I’ve never done anything like that before, but it seems like the kind of thing people do. Rinaldo and Lele had pictures up in their house. There was a huge one in the living room of them from their wedding.

  “Should we get married?” I ask.

  Alina blinks repeatedly and seems unable to answer. Maybe I’m being impulsive again.

  “Before we have a baby or something like that,” I say to clarify.

  “Evan Arden,” Alina says as a smile lights up her face, “are you proposing to me?”

  It’s my turn to blink. Is that what I’m doing?

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  Alina narrows her eyes and looks away from me. I know immediately that I haven’t gone about this the right way. I was probably supposed to be down on one knee, but that doesn’t seem right, either. She recognizes my words as something I haven’t really thought about, but that doesn’t mean I’m not serious.

  I reach over and place my finger under her chin. Tilting her face up to look at me, I stare into her eyes.

  “I’ve never said it,” I tell her, “and I’ll probably never get into the habit of saying it a lot, but I love you, Alina. I don’t think I could survive without you in my life. You kept me calm when I was at my worst, and that’s not an easy task. You stuck with me, fought for me, and I’d do anything for you. So yes, I’m asking you to marry me.”

  Tears form in the corner of her eyes, and she bites her lip as she tries to blink them away. Without warning, she flings her arms around me and squeezes all the breath from my lungs.

  “Evan…oh, Evan! I love you, too! I have for a long time.”

  “Is that a yes?” I choke on the words as I try to get air back into my body.

  “It’s a yes.” She smiles up at me and then grabs my face in her hands and kisses me hard.

  My heart is pounding, and my face actually hurts from smiling. I reach down and grab her ass, pulling her hard against me, and kiss her right back.

  “Screw the museums,” I say. “Let’s go ring shopping.”

  Alina laughs and throws her arms around my neck.

  “Now that sounds like a perfect afternoon!”

  ~The End~

  Author’s Note

  Back in December of 2012, I released Otherwise Alone – my very first published work. It was a test as much as it was a story. I wanted to see if this publishing thing was something I could do. I wanted to find out if anyone was actually interested in buying the crazy shit I wr
ite.

  It’s May of 2015 now, and I’ve just finished the last book in this series. Writing full-time has been an incredible ride, and I’m so glad you have joined me for the journey! Evan Arden has been with me for so long, and as much as he has been in my head for the past few years, I’m ready to say goodbye. I know some people will always want more, but it’s time to move on. I will definitely miss being in his head!

  What’s up next? Caged – the story of a cage fighter and his struggle with life. It will be out this summer, so watch for it!

  If you have enjoyed the Evan Arden series, I highly recommend you check out the Songs of Corruption series by C.D.Reiss. She writes an awesome alpha mafia capo that will have you dropping your panties in a heartbeat. I can’t wait for the next book in this series!

  SPIN - http://amzn.to/1G9OmZN

  RUIN - http://amzn.to/1L44Imv

  Visit CD Reiss on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CDReiss.writer

  More Books by Shay Savage

  Surviving the Storm Series:

  Surviving Raine

  Bastian’s Storm

  Evan Arden Series:

  Otherwise Alone

  Otherwise Occupied

  Uncockblockable (a Nick Wolfe story)

  Otherwise Unharmed

  Isolated

  Stand Alone Novels:

  Transcendence

  Offside

  Worth

  Alarm

  About the Author

  Shay Savage lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with her family and a variety of household pets. She is an accomplished public speaker, and holds the rank of Distinguished Toastmaster from Toastmasters International. When not writing, she enjoys offroading in her jeep, science fiction movies, masquerading as a zombie, is a HUGE Star Wars fan, and member of the 501st Legion of Stormtroopers. When the geek fun runs out, she also and loves soccer in any and all forms - especially the Columbus Crew, Arsenal and Bayern Munich. Savage holds a degree in psychology, and she brings a lot of that knowledge into the characters within her stories.

  Website - http://www.shaysavage.com/