But she could question the past, even if it might hurt him.
“What if she wasn’t your mate?” Daphne asked. She held her breath, waiting for Ford to explode.
He said nothing. His breath still warmed her chest. The only thing that told her that he was still awake was the tension stiffening his back.
“There was a couple that I helped,” Daphne said. “They were a mated pair. He’d been a shifter all his life. She had been changed and found herself under my tutelage. I was supposed to help her adjust to a new life, but she was having problems.
“When Zander had to put her down, so she wouldn’t be a risk to the rest of the clan, her mate lost control. He didn’t attack Zander. There wasn’t enough of the man left in him for him to even think about revenge. We saw him from time to time until he vanished. We think he burrowed, but no one can be sure.”
She hoped this tale held the evidence he needed. She wasn’t trying to sully his relationship with a woman he once loved. Going into a relationship with a man who still loved his last woman was a strange experience that Daphne couldn’t compare to anything else. She was used to men who hated their exes or wanted a fresh start from a troubled past.
Ford had been living in that past. He held it tight, but she wasn’t sure everything he believed was true.
Perhaps that was selfish of her to assume. She wanted him all to herself, and so she tried to diminish what his wife meant to him. At least she was aware of what she was doing and could temper the things she said, so he couldn’t hear the desperation she wanted to unleash.
Ford might have gotten his vengeance for his wife, but he didn’t lose control. She knew what a dragon without a leash looked like after dealing with them for the better part of her life. Had Evangeline had any control when her fear had gotten the best of her, she would have actually hurt Daphne. Instead, both instances had ended with minimal damages.
“I don’t know what I’m saying.” Daphne pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes as she lied. She knew exactly what she had said, but feared Ford heard none of it.
She ached to be understood and taken care of. Ford had shown her so much kindness in the past that she now craved it like a drug—not the hard stuff, but like one craves coffee at the break of dawn. She needed him, so she could get through her day.
If they were mates, then he would need something from her, as well. She didn’t know what she could give him. If he couldn’t acknowledge what they were to one another, then he wouldn’t be able to tell her what he needed.
When Ford lifted himself, she thought he would leave. He hovered over her body. The air between them churned with the heat they produced. She thought they might set the bed aflame soon. It was a fire she was willing to perish in. If that was how she ended, then her life had been worth it.
Still, she held her breath and waited for him to retreat.
“There’s no way of knowing what I had,” he said, meeting her gaze.
That’s it, she thought. This is the end of us.
Or so she thought until his hands found her waist and his lips met her shoulder. His touch made her groan, a hunger igniting in her core. She needed more of him. Her desire for Ford would never be satiated. She wished she could show him this, could make him understand that no matter what he’d had in the past that he would be the only man for her ever again.
She put her hands on his chest and pushed so she could roll over. Surprised, Ford blinked up at her. Daphne said nothing that would give him any warning. She inched away from him and unhooked the button of his jeans in the same movement.
The proof of his desire sprang free once she pulled the denim away. She glanced up at him and caught the heated flare in his eyes as he watched her.
“I am yours,” Daphne said before taking him in her mouth.
Ford started to say something before his own groan cut him off. His head fell back. Pride filled her as she swirled her tongue around the very tip of him.
“Damn, woman. Who taught you to torture a man like that?”
She gave him one last flick of her tongue before pausing and looking up at him. “Does that mean you don’t like it?”
“Fuck no. Keep going.”
Daphne laughed and took him into her mouth once more. She gripped the base of him in one hand and cradled his sac in the other, so she held him completely. The scent of him swirled around her, intoxicating and all consuming. She wanted nothing more than to show him how she loved him.
Every swirl of her tongue was a show of affection. Every twist of her wrist was an affirmation of love. She knew her unspoken adoration was received by the small sounds he made and the way his toes curled. When he gripped her hair and growled deep, she knew she had him close to the edge.
With his pleasure in her hands, she controlled his release the same way he had with her. She slowed her strokes before picking up pace. Ford bucked like he couldn’t wait for more. Until finally, she gave him what he wanted.
He cried his release so loud the room shook. Everyone in the cabin surely heard. Daphne found that she didn’t care. She wouldn’t be embarrassed by her brother’s presence or the fact that shifters she only casually knew probably heard them. There was only her and Ford in this room, and that was all that mattered.
Ford struggled to catch his breath. Daphne sat back and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, partially hiding her self-satisfied smirk.
“Just when I think I can have a future without you,” Ford said to the ceiling. He lowered his gaze to hers. “You come along and push me into the deep end again. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I’m on solid land again.”
She slowly lowered herself over him, so their bodies aligned. He cradled her in one arm and toyed with her loose hair.
“I’ll be rock steady for you,” she said softly.
He stilled. “You’re already a safe haven for so many shifters. I don’t want to put more pressure on you.”
“That’s what I’m good at. Let me do that for you. Let me be the quiet spot in your life where everything makes sense. We can be an island unto ourselves.” She nestled deeper into his embrace.
“I don’t think we can be an island. I know I said we were in the deep end, but it feels like we boarded a ship that already had some weary passengers. I’m…we’re part of a clan.” He fell silent for a while. “I never thought I’d say that ever again.”
“It happened so fast for me that I think I have whiplash,” Daphne joked.
Ford playfully tugged her hair. “If that’s the case, you shouldn’t have done what you just did.”
She gave him a devilish grin. “I had to know the taste of you before you left me.”
Her words were cruel, but she hoped they would startle Ford into making a decision. She knew he still drifted between giving her everything and running away. When she got no answer, she pressed her face to his shirt and tried to let sleep take her.
61
Ford wasn’t sure if Daphne had fallen asleep or if she was faking it. He couldn’t do either, so he got up to wander. He’d intended to go into the kitchen to find a snack or prep something for breakfast as a way to thank this clan. After staring blankly into the glow of the refrigerator, Ford closed the door and wandered outside.
He shouldn’t have been surprised to run into someone. The clan was battling their previous leader, after all. If the day had shown Ford anything, it was that Zander would arrive without notice.
Casey sat on the lowered tailgate of his truck. He tapped the bottle in his hand against his knee as he scanned the valley below.
“How’s your mate?” Ford asked as he ran his hand through his own hair.
Casey responded without taking his eyes off the landscape. “Some days are better than others, but they’re always a step forward.”
“You have your sister to thank for that, you know.” Ford wasn’t wholly convinced that this clan appreciated Daphne and everything she was capable of. He didn’t want anyone to take her for granted.
His lip curled at his own thoughts. The beast in him huffed, as if to tell him that he deserved the pain he’s caused himself.
“What are your intentions with my sister?” Casey asked, pinning Ford with narrowed eyes.
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business. You can’t honestly tell me you’re trying to control your little sister’s sex life because of some patriarchal bullshit. You left her high and dry in Zander’s hands while you were out here falling for the love of your life.” Ford spared no one with his words.
Casey rightfully cringed. He raised his beer bottle to salute Ford and said, “Touché.”
Silence settled in the spaces between them. Ford couldn’t say he had any particular affection toward Casey. Though he could see the resemblance between Daphne and her brother, Ford couldn’t temper his anger. Casey should have had his sister’s back. Maybe then she wouldn’t have been so burnt out that she would fall for the first loser that crossed her path.
Ford didn’t deserve her. He knew that much. She’d become a drug he could no longer resist.
“I’m going to stick around long enough to help you end this war, but I can’t stay after that,” Ford said.
A strange look crossed Casey’s face. “Do you and Daphne have other plans?”
“I can’t…keep her. Daphne can’t be my mate, and I can’t stick around to watch someone else love her.”
Casey laughed. Ford recoiled. He hadn’t expected Casey to find humor in what he’d just said.
“You, sir, are the biggest dipshit I’ve ever met. That’s saying a lot because I’ve had to live with Erik as a clanmate for the past six weeks.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ford snarled.
“If you could stay away from her, you would already be on the other side of the country. The fact that you were here when she needed you, that you stood in front of Gavin to tell your story, and that you’re still here tells me that you found yourself a mate.” Casey raised his beer in salute again. “It takes a mated man to see a mated man. You’re in the deep end with me.”
Ford slid back a step. That was the same analogy he’d used earlier. He shouldn’t have been surprised that everyone could hear their conversation, but he was disappointed in himself. That meant they knew he had been acting like a coward.
“I get it,” Casey said. “You’re scared to love again. Every day I see Evangeline, I think about how I nearly lost her. I can’t imagine how it feels to have lived through that loss.”
Ford nodded because he could think of nothing else to say.
“You should be warned. My sister is one stubborn bitch. You’re not going to lose her. She’s going to stick around until the day you die and then she’s going to die just so she can follow you into the afterlife, and that will only happen when you’re both old and decrepit. She’s not going to let you pass before then.”
“It doesn’t bother you that Gavin welcomed me into your clan?” Ford asked cautiously.
Casey shrugged. “I understand why you did what you did. Besides, you turned on your clan leader because of a woman. Considering how she’s my sister and nearly Gavin’s sister by proxy, nothing is going to happen to her. I think we’re all safe.”
* * *
“Do you have anything you need shipped out here?” Ford asked, his hands on the steering wheel.
Daphne snorted. “Hell no. That bastard paid me well enough that I can afford to replace everything I’m leaving behind. This is the first page of a new life.”
Despite her words, Daphne had never been unemployed before. Zander had been paying her for the work she did with the new shifters. In the span of a single night, she’d lost her job and her clan only to be picked up by another clan. She knew she would have a better life here, but they had new shifters that needed her and no budget to pay her.
She was effectively working for free now. As if the burden on her shoulders needed more weight. What was worse was the thought that none of that might even matter soon. Zander had more forces than they did. Even though Gavin’s clan had grown in numbers recently, that didn’t mean they could compare to Zander’s century old clan.
Daphne wanted to scream, but she knew that would do nothing to lessen everything closing in around her. It might make Ford run for the hills though, and so she kept the sound trapped inside her until her head spun.
Ford took her hand and the world calmed for a moment. When she turned to him, she caught him watching her with a wry smile on his lips.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“Nothing. I just wanted to look at you.”
She playfully slapped his arm while her cheeks warmed. Pleasure curled in her chest and radiated enough warmth to ease the knots forming in her muscles.
They were on their way back to Ford’s house for some personal space. Daphne had informed Evangeline that she wouldn’t be able to do any training, but Evangeline had seemed supportive of the idea of a day off. That didn’t mean their training needed to come to an end, though.
Daphne still had a ton of work ahead of her. She couldn’t stop thinking about it for long. Only Ford’s flirtations distracted her from her anxiety, and even then, she was only reminded that Ford hadn’t yet promised her anything. He still acted like he might disappear at any moment.
Perhaps that was where the anxiety stemmed from. She’d given Ford her whole heart, and it seemed like he wasn’t ready to do the same. She understood hesitation, but this seemed like an absolute refusal.
“You brought your bag, right?” Ford asked after parking. He twisted to peer into the back seat.
“I brought enough for tonight,” she said, grabbing the bag at her feet.
His brow furrowed. “Maybe I should have been more clear. I’m not sure how to do this anymore.”
Her heart stilled. Blood running cold, it sank to her feet. Here it was. Ford would tell her that they had only one night left, and then they would have to go their separate ways. She’d been waiting for this but hadn’t actually guarded herself against how badly this would hurt.
“Daphne Albright, will you move in with me?”
“What?” she blurted out.
He scowled again. “Did I do something wrong? Was that not how I’m supposed to ask?”
She laughed, relief making her dizzy. “That’s not it. I’m surprised. I thought you weren’t going to…”
“Commit?” he filled in.
“Well, yeah. It seemed like you weren’t sure about us. I’ve made myself clear, but you’re a hard man to read.” She fiddled with the strap of her bag.
He got out of the car, leaving her in a stunned silence. She shook her head and stared blankly at where he’d been only a moment ago. Then, her door swung open. Ford unbuckled her and scooped her out of her seat before kicking the car door closed with his boot.
“If you won’t give me an answer, then I’m just going to have to take you home.”
Ford somehow managed to unlock his front door with her in his arms. But the scent of dragon that greeted her when he stepped past the threshold was not of Ford. Though he tried to grip her tighter, she swung her feet to the ground and saw the state of the small home.
It was a wreck. The couch had been sliced open and its stuffing spilled out like guts. The notebooks that had been stacked on the dining table were charred, as were the edges of the table. Daphne stepped closer and studied the wreckage, realizing that someone must have torched the whole table with their dragon breath.
In the kitchen, nothing appeared off at first. Then she realized the meticulously cared for knives that had been hanging on the wall above the sink were gone. No, not gone. They had been shattered. Metal shards glittered on the kitchen floor.
“And so, the war has spilled into your life,” Daphne whispered.
Guilt sat heavy in her gut. The more she looked around, the worse it became. She hadn’t asked to step into this fight. If anything, she felt like she’d been thrust into it. She never me
ant to drag Ford along with her.
“Don’t act like this is your fault,” Ford said, though his voice was tense. “I’ve been hiding for a very long time. This could have been one of my old clanmates. I didn’t think they would come looking for me, but…” He trailed off.
She was about to shake her head but decided to sniff the air. Stepping closer to the mess of steel shards, she found droplets of blood. A familiar scent reached her nose and made the guilt in her gut even heavier.
“Zander didn’t like the way you stood up to him,” she said.
What hurt even more was the fact that the dragon she scented was one she had trained. The man led a good life because she’d helped him, and now Zander had turned him on her.
“Don’t worry about it,” Ford said. “I can contact a local guy willing to teach me how to make knives. You can use the wrecked furniture as an excuse to fill the space with things you like. This isn’t even a setback.”
Though Ford spoke with confidence, he hadn’t stopped growling. His jaw flexed as he peered around the room. Daphne stepped up to him, but her own guilt made her feel leagues away from him. He took her hand and pulled her into his chest, helping her to close that space.
When he put his head to her shoulder and breathed deep, she understood.
Ford didn’t care about any of his things. He was grateful they hadn’t been here when this happened because he didn’t want to risk her.
She pulled back and peered up at him. “One of my dragons did this. If I ever see him again, I’m using everything I learned about him to shove his head up his own ass and turn him into the dumbest looking ouroboros anyone has ever seen.”
Ford blinked. The corners of his mouth quirked. His humor quickly faded. The truth of the matter remained: his home was no longer safe. They had come here to be alone with one another, but she knew Ford wouldn’t want to stay.
Daphne wasn’t ready to go back to Gavin’s cabin. There were too many shifters under one roof, even with Casey and Evangeline back in their own apartment. Daphne didn’t balk or run away. Instead, she went to the kitchen for a garbage bag and began picking up the spilled couch stuffing.
Rogue Dragons Series: Box Set Books 1-5 Page 51
