Forbidden (Perfect for them Book 1)
Page 7
When Marc is finally out of sight and earshot I collapse on the cold sand, covering my eyes with my hands and letting the hot tears that I’ve been trying to keep at bay finally spill.
I don’t even know why I’m crying: for the disappointment I caused Marc, for how much I want Chase and Reid to at least be my friends. For how much I want to harden my heart and stop feeling the way I do for them, knowing full well that even if the twins didn’t hate me, Mom and Dustin would be horrified by my attraction toward my step brothers. And I cry because ultimately, I feel unhappy and so lonely because not even Nic fully understands how I feel. And there’s no way out, no way to ever be happy, I think while loud sobs wrack my body and I hug my own knees, unable to stop crying.
Bryce
I SEE KAYA WALKING past our bonfire with her friends and my eyes follow her until she’s out of sight. She’s on a date with that preppy, slightly douchy looking guy who picked her up last night and had Chase and Reid close to melt down about it.
I don’t know what’s their deal with her exactly, they seem to ignore her at best and Chase doesn’t make a mystery of his distaste toward her but if you asked me, their reaction to her going on a date felt oddly close to jealousy.
And I’m sure that jealousy was what made Chase act like a complete asshat this morning about Kaya making breakfast for me and Parker.
I spoke to him when we got back from our booze run because the way he acts around Kaya is starting to make me and Parker feel quite uncomfortable. If he doesn’t like his stepsister, can he at least ignore her like Reid does?
Chase shook his blond head, and in typical Chase fashion, he dismissed the whole thing by feigning indifference.
“Whatever,” he said “it’s just that I find it hard to tolerate immature and bratty behavior. Her constant need for attention, you know?”
I looked at him, feeling perplexed and admitting that no, I didn’t know. “Dude, she doesn’t act like a spoiled brat and how is she ‘seeking attention’ by being kind and offering to make you breakfast?”
Chase is a stubborn motherfucker and of course he didn’t concede. “She’s just a petulant child. I have no time for her shit.”
It was my turn to shake my head at his irrational attitude toward his stepsister. “She isn’t a child, Chase. She’s eighteen and for what I’ve seen, she’s quite nice and not bratty at all. Shit, she even offered to make you breakfast after you literally chewed her head off.”
“Yeah, that’s her way of trying to lure you in and pay her attention. That’s why she’s going out with that loser too, I bet.”
I remember rolling my eyes at Chase’s statement. “Oh come on dude, really? I know you’re used to have everybody’s attention at school with being the star QB and the shoo in frat president next year but I have news for you. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Don’t you think it’s a little far-fetched to think that Kaya is dating that kid to piss you off? And why would it be any of your business who she dates anyway? She’s an adult.”
It was Chase’s turn for an eye roll. “She’s chosen a loser on purpose, so her mom will go bitching about it to my dad and he’ll ask Reid and I to keep an eye on her. Don’t you see? She has our parents wrapped around her little finger.”
I seriously doubted that Chase was right and I told him so but my best friend folded his arms over his chest in an unyielding manner.
“What’s it to you anyway, huh Bryce? Why are you so interested in my stepsister all of a sudden?”
I treaded carefully, knowing how touchy he and Reid were when it came to Kaya but not wanting to lie to one of my oldest friends. “Because I like her. She seems a very sweet girl and I’m gonna be living all summer in the same house as her and if she wants to be friends, I don’t want to have to have a fight with you and Reid for being nice to her. So I’m warning you that if you two plan to continue treating her like shit, Parker and I have no intention to join you.”
Chase sneered at me as if he’d been expecting what I had just told him. “Parker too, huh? What is it, are you two betting on who gets to nail the princess? Or didn’t you two have enough of going after the same girl?”
I clenched my fists. “That’s a low blow and you know it. Parker and I didn’t know we were both involved with Georgia. She played us for a whole semester. And that has nothing to do with Kaya.”
The look in his eyes says that he doesn’t believe me, so I admit that I immediately felt attracted to his stepsister.
“Look Chase, I don’t get why you guys can’t be friends with her but I intend to try.”
Chase’s eyes darkened with what I could only assume was fury. “Really? You want to try what exactly? You want to date her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, dude. I wouldn’t say no to that if that’s what Kaya wanted. I would love to take her out on a date, but not if that costs me my friendship with you and Reid. Since you two are so protective of her, that you warned us that she was off-limits.”
“We aren’t protective of her, we just know how much our old man cares about her. He calls her the daughter he never had. So as far as I’m concerned, do whatever the fuck you want but keep me out of it. As I said, my father and her mother will probably freak the fuck out, so if you or Parker are looking for a rebound thing, do us all a favor and fuck some of the girls you’re gonna meet this summer. Star Cove is full of horny tourists and slutty locals, so you’ll have a wide choice of pussy, without making everyone’s life hard for no reason.”
“I’m not looking for a rebound,” I reassured him. “All I’m saying is that I want to get to know your sister but I’d be lying to you if I told you that I didn’t find her pretty.”
Chase had walked away after throwing a hard look toward me. “As I said, be my guest. But when things turn into shit and my father kicks you out of the house, don’t expect mine or Reid’s support.”
I shake my head at the memory of our earlier conversation: I really don’t know why Chase and Reid are so weird when it comes to a stepsister they decided they utterly dislike even before they actually got to know her.
They keep saying that she was a brat three years ago, but even if that was the case, at the time she was fifteen and people grow up.
I’ve never seen my two oldest friends being so stubborn about anything.
As for me? I don’t know, I need to be careful regardless of Chase and Reid. When I saw Kaya for the first time yesterday morning, I felt an immediate spark of attraction and it didn’t go away when we hung out earlier today.
I’d love to explore that attraction but there’s one thing Chase is right about: I got my heart broken pretty badly during spring break and I have to be careful not to start something I’m not prepared to see through. Kaya doesn’t deserve it and the fact that she’ll be on our same campus in the fall could make things really awkward if I messed up with her.
I walk away from the bonfire, feeling a headache coming on and I decide that I’m totally over the party.
Everyone around me is getting more and more drunk by the minute and I haven’t really seen any girl worth my time tonight.
Aside from Kaya obviously, but she’s here with a date, so regardless of the way I feel, she might be interested in nothing more than a friendship.
I’ve been walking away from the house, toward the edge of the property where clusters of rocks and a few caves mark the end of this stretch of private beach.
It’s completely dark aside from the moonlight that casts a soft light everywhere, making the dark sea shimmer like a sheath of black velvet.
I cross paths with a guy running as if he couldn’t put enough distance between himself and whatever it is he’s running from.
I keep walking, thinking that whatever was wrong, the guy didn’t seem drunk by the way he was moving.
I’m still considering if I should follow him to check on him but any concern I might have felt for the guy literally evaporates when I step closer to the rocks at the end of the beach, where the moonlight is brighter an
d I see Kaya sitting on the sand and sobbing noisily into her folded arms.
I lean toward her, placing what I hope is a soothing hand on her knee. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”
8.
Let’s make a deal
Kaya
“HEY, HEY, WHAT’S WRONG?” A warm hand lands on my knee and I lift my face to confirm that the voice belongs to Bryce.
“I don’t know, I—” I can’t stop crying and my story comes out in broken bursts of words between sobs.
Bryce lowers himself next to me and tentatively wraps a strong arm around my shoulders.
Normally I’m not much of a touchy-feely kind of person except with my mom but his warmth feels soothing and his scent of coconut and sunscreen is so pleasant after Marc’s strong cologne, that I end up crying with my head on his shoulder.
And it’s crazy how right this feels, he’s virtually very little more than a stranger to me, a super hot stranger granted, but I find comfort in his arms like I never thought I could.
When I finally calm down enough to have a proper conversation, Bryce sets his warm green eyes on me and asks me a question, his voice is low and his tone serious.
“Kaya, did you not want to kiss him? If he forced you in any way, I swear to God ...”
I immediately reassure him that I wanted to kiss Marc. “I know it sounds crazy, Bryce but I wanted to. And I really wanted to like it. I care about Marc, he’s a good friend but I—”
I sigh, suddenly a little embarrassed. “It just was ... horrible. Sloppy, wet, with so much tongue that I thought I’d choke on it. Shit, I know I sound horrible but when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I freaked out. The only thing I could think about was that I couldn’t possibly bring myself to kiss him again, ever. But this is why I’m so upset, I know I broke his heart and I hate myself for it.”
Bryce seems deep in thought for a second but then he asks me if I was honest with Marc. “Did you tell him without any possibility of misunderstanding on his part that you didn’t want to be his girlfriend?”
The intensity in his gaze tells me that somehow the answer is important to him, so I explain that I tried to let Marc down as gently as possible.
“Well shit, I didn’t tell him that his kiss made me wanna puke but I told him that I didn’t want a boyfriend and that anyway there was no point in having a relationship with an expiration date, since I know that I don’t want a long distance relationship.”
Bryce nods. “So you didn’t lie to him. I’m proud of you, well done.” Again, I don’t know why the fact that I was honest with Marc seems so important to him but his expression does something really weird to me, making me feel guilty and causing me to really open up.
“I wasn’t exactly honest, Bryce.”
His lips stretch in a small smile. “No, you were as honest as you could’ve been. I don’t fucking think you should’ve told him that his kiss made you want to throw up. There’s no point to that kind of honesty. But as long as you didn’t willingly lead him on—”
I lower my gaze, admitting that I wasn’t as honest as he makes me sound. “He asked me if there was someone else, and I lied.”
“Did you tell him that you had someone else?” I shake my head.
“No. I told him that there wasn’t anyone else.”
He looks perplexed. “So is there someone else?”
And again, don’t ask me why but there’s something about Bryce that makes me open up without even thinking too much about it. And I tell him about my first kiss, three years ago.
The only person that knows about it is Nic, so this is why I’m surprised that it’s this easy to admit something that I haven’t even told my mom. I almost mention Chase and Reid too, how much I’ve always been crushing on them but I think better of it. It’s not that I necessarily think that Bryce would tell them if I asked him to keep it between us, but they’re his besties, so I feel safer by not admitting my unrequited feelings for my stepbrothers.
Bryce surprises me again, I admit that a part of me was fearing that he’d laugh at my obsession with that mysterious kiss and that he’d laugh at me and call me a kid, like I know that Chase and Reid would probably do. Instead Bryce seems intrigued about it and he asks me more questions.
“So you have no idea who that could’ve been?”
I shake my head and explain that it was so dark that the only things I can tell about my mystery guy is that he was tall and quite well built. “He also had short hair. Other than that, I have no idea, it could have literally been anyone. But after that, none of the boys I’ve kissed were even close. Every kiss I’ve had has been ‘meh’ at best. With Marc’s being by far the worst.”
Bryce’s smile widens and he has a new glint in his eyes, amusement and ... challenge? Whatever he’s thinking though, I’m glad that he doesn’t seem to find my feelings ridiculous.
“And have you kissed many guys?” He asks, still smiling.
Again, I could tell him that it’s none of his business but there’s something in him that makes me feel like I can trust him, so I admit the truth, feeling heat burning on my cheeks. “A few.”
He seems to think about my answer for a second and then he asks: “And none of them made you feel like that one guy? You didn’t like any kiss after your first?”
I confirm what I just told him, fully aware of how weird I sound even to myself. His next question comes as a total surprise.
“Can I try?”
I don’t immediately answer, observing him to see if he’s mocking me or something but he looks dead serious. And goddam if this night isn’t full of surprises, I really want him to. So I nod and whisper a ‘yes’ without thinking about it too much.
He scoots closer to me again and cups my jaw with a warm, slightly rough hand, before brushing my lips with his.
Bryce’s lips are warm and impossibly soft and at first there’s little to no pressure, but that changes immediately when I don’t move away after the first few seconds. He begins moving his lips against mine, in a slow and confident exploration. When I feel the tip of his tongue trace the seam of my lips, I open up to him and that’s when I’m swept away by a warm, exciting, almost electric feeling. He doesn’t invade my mouth like Marc did, his tongue explores looking for mine and tangling with it in a soft caress that becomes more intense with every swipe. He tastes sweet and a little smokey, like the s’mores he must have been eating earlier by the bonfire.
I don’t know for how long we sit there, on the cold sand, under the moon, lost in a world where nothing matters but the things we can make each other feel with our joined mouths.
So it is possible for me to enjoy a kiss after all.
This feels different and similar to my first at the same time.
It’s weird but while Bryce has the same confidence as my mystery guy when he kisses me, he’s softer and less aggressive.
Maybe because I gave him permission to do it and he’s not planning on running away before the lights come back on?
Whatever it is, I don’t question it and I lose myself in the delicious feeling of his lips, wishing this would never end.
When he eventually breaks the kiss, I see it in his eyes: he felt it too. He liked kissing me as much as I liked kissing him and I can’t help but feel a swarm of butterflies flutter their wings in my stomach in unison.
“So?” He whispers and I have to force myself to speak, almost afraid that admitting how I felt out loud will break whatever spell I’m under.
“It was ... I ... oh, shit.”
The best way for me to tell him how I feel is to show him, so I close the distance between us again, and this time I surround his neck with my arms, pulling myself closer to him, feeling our chests and our hips and outer thighs touching on one side as we’re still sitting on the sand.
Our second kiss is somehow even better than the first: deeper, a little more daring as we aren’t sailing in totally uncharted waters now.
When he takes my bottom lip between his teeth, grazing and
then sucking lightly on it, I feel my body begin to react in a way that no kiss has ever caused me to do. My nipples harden against the soft cotton of my summer dress and I feel a warm, throbbing need between my thighs.
I’m almost positive that Bryce wasn’t at that party three years ago and as I said, his kiss is different than my mystery guy’s but he made me feel the same way, the same electrifying pleasure. It made my heart beat faster and my body sing with sensation.
“You weren’t in Star Cove three years ago right before Labor Day by any chance?”
Bryce
HER QUESTION SHAKES me out of the daze that I’m in since my lips touched hers.
Fuck. Holy fuck. It’s all I can think about as I look at the beautiful girl in my arms and I know that I’m fucked.
I’d be lying if I said that I’m naive in any way, I’m not a man whore or anything but I’ve had my fair share of hookups and girls, even a threesome once, believe it or not.
Yeah fuck, that’s another story because the girl I had the threesome with is the one that shattered my heart into a million pieces.
I don’t want to get into specific details right now, definitely not right after kissing Kaya and feeling the way I feel. Because I’ll be damned but I’ve never felt this way before or after kissing Georgia. So I totally understand Kaya when she told me how she was so hung up on her first kiss, how she couldn’t stop thinking about her mystery guy.
I’ve fucked a few girls since being dumped, trying to get my ex out of my head and out of my system, as if every different body could wipe away the memory of hers. Obviously nothing worked and aside from getting my rocks off, every hookup left me more miserable than before because the truth was that I was looking for her in every kiss, in every touch and came up empty every single time.
Until the moment my lips felt Kaya’s. And I know she felt it too. I obviously want to kiss her again and more. I want to get to know her because I think she’s so sweet and smart and so cool, it’s impossible not to notice how amazing and special, how sincere and beautiful this girl is.