What Comes After

by Toppen, Melissa

  “I know.” I smile, crossing to the driver’s side of the car.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Peyton

  The drive back to mine and Henna’s apartment is a quiet one. Every time I look at Abel it’s like I can actually see the wheels turning inside that gorgeous head of his.

  I didn’t expect him to open up to me about his wife the way he did, but the fact that he did makes me feel special. I get the impression it’s not something he talks about often. And while I’m glad he feels like he can talk to me, another part of me feels a little defeated because of it.

  Any hopes I had that maybe we could explore this thing between us went out the window the moment her name left his lips. It became apparently clear to me, even in my inebriated state, that even if Abel was open to the possibility, I would be in constant fear that he would be comparing me to her the whole time, and truthfully I don’t know that I’d be able to fill such big shoes.

  He loves her, that much is so clear it might as well be written on his forehead. And it’s not that he loved her, or still loves her. It’s how he loved her. The way he spoke of her. As if the sun rose and set with her. The kind of love one doesn’t easily get over.

  It breaks my heart. For the both of us. Because deep down I know we could be really good together. Unfortunately, I can’t see us ever getting to a point to find out.

  I let out a slow breath as Abel pulls into a parking spot outside of our building. I’m ready to be home. To be away from the man who puts me so on edge I feel like I’m going to tumble over the side of a cliff at any moment. But at the same time, I’m sad. Sad to say goodbye. Sad for this night to be over. Sad to watch Abel drive away, not knowing when I’ll see him again or if I even want to.

  “We’re here,” I say aloud, turning to see Henna passed out in the backseat and Aaron not far behind her. “And she’s out,” I tell Abel, watching him glance in the rearview mirror.

  “I’ll carry her up.” He unlatches his seatbelt.

  “You don’t have to do that. I can wake her up.”

  “She’s pretty wasted. I can’t imagine you’d have an easy time getting her upstairs. I’ll grab her and you can make sure my brother doesn’t fall down the stairs and break his neck.”

  I consider his offer for a moment, realizing he’s probably right.

  “Deal,” I answer, pushing open the passenger side door before climbing out. “Come on, Aaron.” I peel open his door and offer him my hand.

  “We here already?” he asks groggily, looking around.

  “Yep.”

  Aaron clumsily climbs from the backseat and stands upright. I offer him my arm to steady him, not that I’m much help. While I didn’t get nearly as drunk as he and Henna, I still had quite a few and can still feel the effects swimming around in my head.

  I close the door and turn right in time to see Abel emerge from the backseat; Henna cradled in his arms.

  Shutting the door with his hip, he joins Aaron and me at the front of the car.

  “Lead the way.” Abel nods toward the building.

  I ignore the pang of jealousy in my stomach at the sight of Abel holding my friend and quickly guide Aaron down the sidewalk toward our apartment building.

  We reach our floor in no time, and while Aaron stumbled a few times on the way up, he did pretty well all things considered.

  Fishing my keys out of my purse, it takes me three attempts to get the key in the lock. I click it over and push the door open, standing to the side to let Aaron and Abel pass.

  “Where should I put her?” Abel asks, turning back toward me as I close the door.

  “Down the hall. Last room at the end.” I gesture in the vicinity of Henna’s room.

  Abel nods and heads off in that direction, Aaron following closely behind.

  I take a moment to straighten up the living room, trying to make it look halfway presentable. It’s not dirty or anything, just a little messy. Had I known Abel would be coming over I would have made a better attempt at cleaning up after myself earlier.

  I grab the throw blanket bundled in a ball on the chair and fold it. I’m draping it across the back of the couch when Abel emerges from the hallway.

  “You get her all settled?” I ask, turning to face him.

  “She didn’t even flinch when I laid her down. She’s really out.” He chuckles.

  “Yeah, she doesn’t drink like that often. I’m betting she won’t again for a long while considering how awful she’s going to feel when she wakes up.” I slide off my shoes and cross the living room to deposit them in the coat closet next to the front door.

  “Aaron either.” He shakes his head.

  “Those two were a hot mess tonight.”

  “That they were.”

  “Sorry you had to deal with that.”

  “Nah, it’s not a big deal. Besides, I had fun.”

  “You did?” I cock a brow.

  “I did.” He smiles.

  “Me too,” I admit, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, not really sure what the hell to do.

  “Well, I guess I should be going.” Abel slides by me, but pauses at the door, cocking his head in my direction. “My friend, Sven is having a party at his house on Saturday. I know Aaron is going which means Henna probably is too. Would you maybe want to come?”

  “You’re asking me to a party?” I blurt, a bit surprised by this fact.

  “I guess I am.” He gives me a sly smile.

  “What time?”

  “Seven-ish.”

  “I’m having dinner at my dad’s at six, but I could maybe meet you after.”

  “Okay, that works. I’ll text you the address.”

  “Pretty sure you don’t have my number.” I smile, watching him pull his cell out of his back-pocket moments later.

  “Guess I should probably get that.” He flicks his finger across the screen, then looks up at me.

  It takes me a good ten seconds to realize he’s waiting for me to give him my number.

  “Oh, uh.” I ramble off the number so fast I have to stop and repeat myself a second time.

  “There. Got it.” He messes with his phone for another few seconds before locking it and shoving it back into his pocket.

  A moment later, my phone dings from my purse that I dropped in the chair when we entered the apartment.

  “I text you so you can save my number.”

  “Okay, cool.” I feel a slight blush cross my cheeks, not sure why something as simple as him giving me his number has heat rushing to my face.

  “So, I guess I’ll see you Saturday?” He reaches for the door, yanking it open.

  “Yeah, Saturday,” I agree, stepping forward to hold the door open as he steps into the hallway.

  “Goodnight, Peyton.”

  “Goodnight, Abel.”

  I wait until he starts to walk away before letting the door close.

  ——

  “So, Peyton, how’s work? Your dad said you’ll be travelling to New York with your boss soon. That’s exciting,” Tina says, scooping a large helping of pot roast onto her plate.

  “Yeah. It’s not for another six weeks but I’m pretty excited. I’ve never been to New York before.” I slide some potatoes onto my fork and shove them into my mouth.

  “Oh, it’s amazing. I visited there several times when I was younger. If you want any recommendations on places you should see while you’re there, I’m your girl.”

  “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Anything else new going on?” My dad pulls my attention to where he’s sitting at the head of the table, the same place he’s sat for as long as I can remember.

  “Not really.” I shrug, shoving another bite into my mouth.

  “How was the wedding last weekend?”

  “It was really good. Way over the top which is total Sam.”

  “We sent her a card the other day. Wanted to give her a little something,” Tina interjects.

  “You didn’t have to do
that.”

  “I know, we wanted to. It’s just a shame we couldn’t make it to the wedding,” she says, leaving out the part where they weren’t invited.

  While Sam and I have been friends for years, she’s never taken the time to get to know my family. Which is totally fine. It’s not the kind of friendship we have. Because of this I didn’t expect her to invite my parents and wasn’t upset when she didn’t.

  “Yeah, it was nice. I’m just glad it’s over.”

  “Was Sam a difficult bride?” Tina asks.

  “I wouldn’t say difficult. She just demanded a lot of my time the last couple of weeks leading up to the wedding.”

  “Were there any attractive guys there?” She sips her tea, looking at me over the rim of the glass.

  “Tina.” My dad clears his throat.

  “What?” She gives him a pointed look.

  “It’s fine.” I’m used to it by now. My dad and Tina weren’t dating but two weeks the first time she started in on me about finding a good man.

  I think it was her way of trying to bond with me. And while I love that she cared enough to try, I wish she had chosen another topic in her efforts, because now it’s kind of a thing with her. She always has to know what’s going on in my love life. Though up to this point I’ve kept things pretty vague with her.

  “Well, were there?” she presses.

  “Not really,” I lie, Abel’s face flashing through my mind.

  Having his cell phone number for the last two days has been absolute torture. I’ve had to talk myself out of texting him every five minutes, reminding myself that he only gave it to me because of the party.

  A party he invited you to, a little voice in my head sings happily. I push it down, refusing to let myself go there right now.

  “Have you been seeing anyone?” she continues.

  “Nope.” I shake my head. “I told you, after the last one that I’ve written off men for a while.”

  “I didn’t think you were serious.”

  “Of course I was. I’m tired of dealing with immature men. They’re either too scared or too self-absorbed to commit to a relationship. I’m focusing on myself for a while.”

  “Well I think that’s wonderful,” my dad chimes in. I think secretly he’s hoping I’ll stay single forever.

  “Thanks, Dad.” I snort, jumping when my cell dings on the table next to me.

  I look down at the device and then back up to my dad, who is firmly against phones at the table.

  “Sorry, it’s work,” I tell him, knowing good and well it isn’t.

  “Okay.” He nods, grabbing his water glass before taking a long drink.

  Snatching my cell phone off the table, my heart kicks up speed when I see the text from Abel displayed across the screen.

  Abel: 1152 Conner Court Drive.

  I smile, quickly typing out a response.

  Me: I’ll head that way in a little bit.

  “Work?” Tina says and I look up to see her staring at me with a knowing look on her face.

  “Yeah.” I clear my throat and force the smile from my lips.

  My phone pings again and I look down.

  Abel: See you then.

  A swell of nerves washes through me. I’ve tried to remind myself several times since Thursday that Abel was just inviting me to invite me. Because it’s the friendly thing to do. But more than once I’ve let my mind get the better of me and have found myself questioning if that’s really why he invited me or if it’s because he wants to see me again. Of course, I’ve quickly squashed the thought every time it’s taken root, because truthfully, I don’t want to get my hopes up.

  I resist the urge to text him back and instead place my phone back on the table face down.

  “So, Dad, how’s the vacation planning coming along?” I turn the attention to my dad before Tina has a chance to push the matter further.

  He and Tina are going on a cruise in a few months. They’ve been planning it for a while.

  “Well, we’ve got a few places picked out that we definitely want to see while we’re there. Other than that, I think we’re mostly going to wing it.”

  “Wing it?” I chuckle. “I didn’t know you knew how to wing it.”

  “Give me a little credit. Back before I met your mother I was very much a fly by the seat of my pants kind of man.”

  “Yeah, that’s not hard to picture at all,” I joke, knowing my dad can’t even go to the store without a detailed list of what he’s getting, complete with what store and aisle he will find said items in. “So, what you’re really saying is that Tina told you that you weren’t going to plan every second of this trip and didn’t give you a choice in the matter.”

  “Pretty much.” He laughs at himself.

  “Sometimes you just have to let go and let life take you where it wants.” Tina reaches over and pats the top of my dad’s hand.

  “She’s right you know.”

  “Says the girl who’s exactly like me.”

  “There is a difference between being prepared and mapping out every step I take before I take it.”

  “Even still, you definitely took after me in that department.”

  “Considering mom never planned anything a day in her life, I guess you could say I am.” I smile, remembering how spontaneous my mom used to be and how anxious it would make my dad.

  I still remember my eighth birthday when my mom up and decided we were going to the zoo. My dad stressed the whole way about the route we would take, what animals we would prioritize seeing, and where we could eat along the way. Normally, he would have had the details planned weeks before we went. To this day I think she did that intentionally. I think she knew she was going to take me to the zoo the whole time and purposely didn’t tell my dad so he wouldn’t try to control every aspect of what she referred to as my day.

  After she was gone his need to control anything and everything around him reached an all-time high. Thank god he met Tina when he did, otherwise he would have driven himself and me into a loony bin.

  Tina has been good for him in ways I never thought he needed. They didn’t meet until a few years after Mom had passed and while I knew right away that he truly cared for her, I think he was afraid I would think he was replacing Mom. Of course, I never felt that way. I’ve only ever wanted him to be happy. The day he told me he and Tina were getting married is probably one of the happiest I can remember post Mom. To see him so happy was something I never thought I’d see again.

  While most women wouldn’t want to step into another woman’s shoes, Tina did so gracefully. She never got upset when my dad would talk about my mom. In fact, she encouraged it. She has somehow been able to accept that he will always love my mother. Just so long as he loves her too, then that’s enough for her.

  So while Tina does drive me a little bonkers from time to time, she makes my dad happy and that’s all I could ever ask for.

  My mind wanders to Abel.

  I wonder if I could be like Tina. If I could step in and fill that void in his life and not feel like his second choice every step of the way. Honestly, I don’t know how she does it, but for my dad’s sake I’m glad she does. Without her I don’t know where he’d be in life.

  We spend the next hour in easy conversation. While I may not visit as often as I should, I always feel lighter after doing so. Something about being in this house, with two people I know who love me unconditionally and the memories of my mom and my childhood swirling around me. In some weird way it reaffirms my place in the world. While I may not matter to all, to some I mean everything. It’s funny how often we find ourselves needing little reassurances like that.

  After making an excuse about being tired, I leave my dad’s a little earlier than I normally would have. As much as I enjoyed myself, the later it got the more anxious I became. So much so that I feel on the verge of having to pull over because I fear I might throw up.

  I can’t remember a time I’ve been so nervous to go to a party. It’s just a p
arty. A few friends gathering together to have some drinks and share some laughs. So then why does it feel like this is so much more?

  Because you want it to be more.

  Damn that voice in my head and how right she always seems to be.

  Rolling down the window, I take a deep breath of the warm evening air and instantly feel better. I just need to get out of my head and, like Tina said, let life take me where it wants to.

  Unfortunately, sometimes that’s easier said than done. Especially when Abel Collins is involved.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Peyton

  It’s right after nine o’clock when I finally reach the address Abel sent me. Pulling up the long drive, my eyes widen as I reach the end that opens up to a huge house with so many windows it looks almost like a glass house.

  My nervousness multiplies substantially as I pull off the side of the driveway behind a long line of cars and kill the engine.

  Why did I think I could do this? Why did I think I could show up here and feel completely natural? Well, it doesn’t. Nothing about this feels natural. In fact, I feel so out of place I can barely pull in a steady breath.

  Grabbing my phone off the passenger seat, I pull up Henna’s number and hit call.

  It rings twice before her bubbly voice comes on the line, muted slightly by the loud hum of music and conversation going on around her.

  “Hey. Where are you?” I ask, nervously picking at a spot on my steering wheel.

  “At Sven’s. Where are you?”

  “I’m outside.”

  “You’re here?” she squeals, clearly happy about this fact.

  “I am.”

  “Then why aren’t you inside?”

  “Because I’m scared to walk in by myself,” I admit in a moment of vulnerability.

  “Peyton.” She sighs and I swear I can picture her rolling her eyes at me.

  “Is he here?”

  “Is who here?” she asks, but then answers her own question. “Abel?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yeah, he’s here. I just saw him not too long ago with that Claire girl.”