Crossing the living room, I pull the door open, expecting to see Aaron on the other side. Only it’s not Aaron...
“Abel,” I stutter, stunned to see him standing in my doorway. It’s been three weeks since I’ve laid eyes on his handsome face and the sight of him damn near takes my breath away. “What, what are you doing here?”
His gaze drops to my arm that’s held against my torso by a sling. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft.
I follow his line of sight, looking down at my arm before my eyes make their way back to his face.
“I’m okay,” I confirm, shuffling nervously from one foot to the other. “Why are you here, Abel?”
“I’m here for you.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” He seems almost confused by my question.
“Why are you here now?”
He pulls in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, like he’s mentally preparing himself for what comes next.
“I know I owe you an explanation.”
“No, actually you don’t,” I cut him off. Now that the shock of seeing him again is wearing off, all the anger that’s been boiling right below the surface starts spilling over.
“Peyton, I...”
“Please don’t,” I interrupt him before he can say more. “Let’s not make this bigger than it has to be. You told me from the beginning that you couldn’t give me what I need. I should have listened.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Can I come in? Please. Give me five minutes to explain.”
“I can’t. I’m going out with Henna and the girls,” I say, turning toward the sound of Henna entering the room.
“Actually, you’re not.” Henna looks past me and nods to Abel, whom she doesn’t seem the least bit surprised to see.
“Excuse me?” I narrow my gaze at her.
“We were never meeting the girls,” she tells me. “I just needed you to be ready when Abel got here.”
“Ready for what?” I look between the two of them.
“For our date,” Abel answers.
“I’m not going on a date with you.” I look at him like he’s officially lost it. And hell, maybe he has.
“Yes, you are.” Henna steps into my space and leans in close. “Just hear him out.” She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a quick squeeze. “I’m going to Aaron’s. Don’t wait up.” She swivels around and slides past Abel into the hallway.
I stand rooted to the spot for a solid minute, not sure what the hell to say or do. I feel at odds with myself. My head is saying one thing, but my heart is on a completely different page.
“You disappeared.”
“I can explain everything. I just need you to give me the chance.”
“And why should I?” My voice rises.
“Because I love you.” The instant those three words leave his mouth I swear it feels like the floor has opened up and swallows me whole. “I’m in love with you. And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m hoping you’ll give it to me. Because I don’t want to live without you in my life.”
My heart thunders loudly against my ribcage.
“Can I please come in?” He presses one hand to the frame of the door.
“Okay,” I agree, stepping aside so he can freely enter the apartment.
Shutting the door, I turn to find him standing directly in front of me.
“Since the moment we met I’ve been trying to fight this thing between us. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t ready to love someone again or because I was afraid too. But I fell in love just the same. I don’t think I realized just how deep I was in it until the day of your accident. The thought of losing you, it crippled me, and I panicked.”
“Because you were afraid you would lose me just like you lost her.”
“I’ve spent the last three years trying to piece my life back together, but nothing has worked. I felt empty and no matter what I did that feeling never went away. Until you. You brought light back into my life. You made me laugh again. You made me feel again. You were the missing piece I had been searching for. I just didn’t know it at the time.”
“You went to California.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“I did.”
“Why?”
“To say goodbye.” Tears form behind his eyes but not a single one falls. “After Finley died, Claire gave me a note she had left for me.” He reaches around and pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “I think this will explain everything.” He slides the note into my hand.
I unfold it with shaky fingers, my heart beating so hard I can barely hear myself think over the loud strum pulsing in my ears.
And before I even read the first word, I know what a monumental moment this is. Because he’s sharing her with me. He’s letting me in. And that means more than any words he could ever say.
My dearest Abel,
I’ve written this letter so many times in my head that it almost feels rehearsed as I put it on paper for you now. There are so many things I want to say and yet there aren’t nearly enough words to do it.
First, I want you to know how much I love you. Because of you my life ended with happiness and love, which is much different than the way it began. Thank you for that.
I never admitted this to you, but I fell in love with you the very first night we met. How could I not? You took one look at me and I felt my entire world shift. We only spent ten hours together. Thirty-six thousand seconds. Six hundred minutes. However you break it down, those ten hours changed everything. You changed everything.
I’ve told you before that I was grateful to the cancer because it brought me to you. No matter how much I wish our ending had been different, I wouldn’t change one single thing about our story. Because it was the perfect story. Maybe it didn’t end in the traditional version of happily ever after, but I think we came pretty close.
I left Claire with instructions to leave you with half of my ashes. I want you to take me with you, Abel. Keep me close. And when you’re ready, I want you to let me go. You’ll know when the time is right. And when that time comes, take me to the beach where you asked me to be your wife and sprinkle me into the water that once danced around our feet. Let me go, Abel. Let me go, and live. Live your life fully, fearlessly, and without limit. Live for us both. And never forget how much I love you.
Until we meet again,
Just Finley
Tears are falling down my cheeks by the time I reach the end. But my tears aren’t just for Abel. They’re for Finley too. Because she loved him. She loved him like I love him. And she was forced to let him go.
“You took her with you...” I say, piecing it together.
“I did.” He nods, taking the letter back. He folds it slowly and then slides it back into his pocket. “It took me three years, but I finally did what she asked me to do. I let her go.”
“Abel...”
“I will always love her,” he continues without letting me say more. “There isn’t a day that will pass when I won’t think about her and wish our ending could have been different. But I realized something very important these last few days. It’s okay to love you both.”
“Of course it is.” I step closer, my good hand going to his chest.
“I know I’ve made a mess of things. And I know I hurt you.” He reaches up and cups my cheek. “But this was something I needed to do, and I needed to do it before I told you how I feel. Because I want you to know that I mean it. I’m in love with you, Peyton. I’m so in love with you...”
“I love you too,” I cut him off. “I have from the beginning. That’s why I agreed to a casual relationship even though that’s not what I wanted. I wanted you. I wanted you so badly I was willing to take any little piece of you that you were willing to give me.”
“I’m yours.” It’s his turn to interrupt me. “You don’t just get a piece of me, Peyton. You get all of me.” He pulls me close, his mouth hovering right above mine. “That is, if you sti
ll want me.”
“I do,” I sob, fresh tears pooling in my eyes.
“Then I’m yours.” He presses his lips to mine and it feels like time slows down around us. Like suddenly we’re the only two people in the world.
The moment is full of unspoken words, yet his touch says it all. I am his. And now, he is mine...
Epilogue
Abel
Two years later...
“You ready?” I smile at Claire, who looks stunning in her floor length wedding dress. Her hair is tied up and hidden beneath a sheer white vail. She’s breathtaking, just like her sister was on our wedding day.
“I’m so nervous,” she admits, her hand shaking as she slides her arm through mine
The wedding party has all filed into the church. Now, all that’s left is for me to walk the bride down the aisle and give her away to one of my best friends.
Nick isn’t who I would have chosen for her, but he’s turned out to be exactly what she needed. I’ve never seen either of them so happy and it warms my heart to know I was here to witness it all. That I was the person she chose to share this incredible moment with.
I know Finley’s here with us now, smiling down on her sister and the happiness she’s found. I feel her everywhere. Always. But sometimes, like right now, the feeling is more pronounced, her presence more known.
“Don’t be.” I slide my hand on top of hers. “Just focus on Nick.”
She nods once before the double doors in front of us open and everyone inside the church stands. I smile down at Claire, then turn my focus forward as we slowly make our way down the aisle.
When we reach the alter, my gaze slides to the left where Peyton is standing among the small line of bridesmaids. She looks so beautiful. Her round belly pronounced in her soft pink dress. I can barely tear my eyes away from her.
She gives me a knowing smile and winks before turning her attention to the minister as he begins to speak.
Once my duties are complete and Claire joins Nick, I shift to the side and take my place next to Aaron as one of the groomsmen.
The ceremony goes by in a blur. As much as I try to keep my focus on the bride and groom, I find my mind wandering back to six months ago when it was Peyton and I standing in front of all our family and friends pledging our love to one another.
It feels like only yesterday, yet so much has happened since then. We bought a house. I bought a bar, which I play at often. And in just four months’ time, we will be welcoming our first child into the world. A daughter that we plan to name Aurora Finley, after the two loved ones that we lost.
My life is fuller than it’s ever been, and I know that I have both Finley and Peyton to thank for that. They got me here. And while it was a long and painful road, I can honestly say that I know I’m where I was always meant to be.
——
Peyton
“Look how happy they are.” I gesture to where Nick and Claire are dancing a few feet from Abel and me.
Abel’s gaze follows mine and I feel him nod as we continue our slow sway to the music.
“And what about you?” he questions, pulling my eyes to him.
“What about me?” I question.
“Are you happy?”
“Happier than I’ve ever been,” I answer truthfully.
Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs and little hiccups along the way, but we’ve come out of each one that much stronger.
Abel is my rock and I am his.
We understand each other on a level I’m not sure others would be able to. We’re there for each other. And we never take a single moment we have together for granted. Because we both know firsthand that tomorrow is not a guarantee.
“And how’s our little princess this evening?” He looks down at my belly for a brief moment.
“Moving around a lot. I swear I can feel her more and more every day.”
“Just wait, before long we’ll be able to see her foot through your belly.” He smiles excitedly.
“Have you been watching more pregnancy videos on YouTube?” I arch a brow at him.
“Noooo...” He drags out purposefully.
“Abel.” I laugh.
“What? I can’t help it.” He chuckles.
“Just like you couldn’t help yourself from reading every pregnancy and childbirth book you could find. And how did that turn out for you?” I ask, already knowing that it only served to freak him out.
He spent weeks obsessing over my every move, convinced that if I so much as lifted a basket of laundry I was putting myself and the baby at risk. Thankfully, our doctor was able to put his mind at ease at least a little bit. He still freaks out every now and again but it’s not as constant as it was before.
I try to be patient with him because I know he’s just scared. Scared that something will happen to the baby. Scared that something will happen to me. Unfortunately, I don’t think that fear will ever leave him. It’s a part of who he is now. Another part of him that I love.
“You may have a point,” he finally agrees, leaning forward to lay a light kiss to my mouth.
Even after all this time I still get that familiar fluttery feeling in my chest when he kisses me.
“Your parents are in this room,” I remind him when he moves in to deepen the kiss.
“And?” he murmurs against my lips.
“I really don’t think your mother wants to see us making out on the dance floor.” I giggle, pulling my face back.
“She’ll look away.” He pulls me back in, kissing me harder.
“Get a room,” Aaron grumbles, followed by Henna’s soft laugh.
Well, at least that means they’re getting along today. They’ve been on again, off again for the last year. Eventually they will figure their shit out. Until then, we’ve all had to get used to their rollercoaster of a relationship.
“Abel.” I finally manage to break free enough to say his name.
“Okay. Okay.” He pulls back, a wide, dimple filled smile lighting up his handsome face. “I can’t help it. You just look incredible in this dress.” He slides his hand across my hip.
“So incredible that you want to take it off me?” I tease, pressing my body firmer against his.
“Say that again and we’re getting the hell out of here, middle of the reception or not,” he warns, a playful spark in his eye.
“You can’t leave. You still have to give your toast,” I remind him. “Have you figured out what you’re going to say yet?”
“I have a few ideas.” He shrugs.
“Well you better nail those down because I think you’re up,” I say right as the song ends. Nick and Claire exit the dance floor, followed by the rest of the wedding party.
Pressing up, I gently kiss his jaw before turning and heading back to the wedding party table. Instead of following me, Abel heads to the DJ booth to retrieve a microphone.
After clicking it on, he taps it a couple of times to make sure it’s working. For someone who makes a living performing in front of people, you’d think this would be no problem for him, but I know how nervous he’s been about giving this toast.
I think it’s because he wants to get it right for Claire.
“Hey everyone.” He gives an awkward wave and a few people chuckle. “So, when Nick first asked me if I would give this toast, I told him no. I said no, not because I didn’t want to do it, but because I didn’t know how to. Nick’s easy.” He points to his friend and they share a little laugh. “We’ve been friends since we were teenagers and somehow, he still manages to get me into trouble all these years later.” Various laughter filters through the room. “You know I love you, man and I’m so happy for you.” He shifts, now addressing the room again. “See, that was easy.” More laughter. “But Claire.” His gaze slides to her and something passes between them. I can feel it, as if it’s ricocheting off the walls and hitting everyone in the room.
In that moment I know they’re thinking of Finley, and my heart aches for them both.
; I once wondered how I could be with Abel knowing I was always going to be his second choice. But it’s no longer her or me/me or her. It’s us. She is his past and I am his future. And like him, she is also a part of me. Of my life, of my past, and of my future. My hand slides across my stomach and I can’t help but smile feeling the bump where our daughter is growing inside of me.
“Claire isn’t so easy,” Abel continues after a long pause. “You see, Claire and I have been through a lot together. I would even go as far as to say that if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be standing here today. She is selfless and beautiful, and she loves with her whole heart. She is everything that is good in this world, and for the life of me I can’t figure out how she ended up with this guy.” He breaks the heaviness with a little joke, jabbing his thumb in Nick’s direction. “But in all seriousness, Claire,” he speaks directly to her now. “I love you. You are my best friend. You brought me back from my lowest and lit the way to another path. You gave me my happily ever after.” His gaze shifts to me and goosebumps erupt down my arms. “Now, you get to have yours.” He raises his glass, as he turns back to Claire. “I know you wish your sister was here, and so do I. But she’s always with you. And I will be too. I love you both. To Nick and Claire.”
“To Nick and Claire,” everyone chimes in, lifting their own glasses.
By the time he returns to the table I’ve managed to blot my cheeks dry, but he knows the moment he sits down next to me that I’ve been crying. I can’t help it. Watching him up there, watching him so vulnerable and open, it got to me.
“Hey.” He slides in close. “You okay?”
“Stupid pregnancy hormones,” I grumble, fresh tears forming out of nowhere.
“Babe.” He grins, taking my face in his hands.
“You said I was your happily ever after,” I blubber like a baby.
“Because you are.” He drags the pads of his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away the tears. “You gave me a reason to look forward to tomorrow instead of fearing it.” His hands slide from my face before one finds its way to my belly. “And I can’t wait to see what an incredible future it will be.” He leans forward, pressing a light kiss to my lips before murmuring, “And they both lived happily ever after.”
What Comes After Page 23
