Elenor swallowed, this was embarrassing, she’d acted stupidly, she didn't need the reminder. “I err, told him he had no claim on me.”
Laura burst out laughing. “Holy shit, you’re married. Where is the big lug anyway?” Laura started looking around. Elenor shrugged bringing her attention back to her. “You don’t know? Is he busy working on here somewhere?”
Elenor looked at her drink. “He’s not on the ship,” she told her quietly. Laura looked shocked. “He let you go?” she asked frowning. Elenor knew why she was confused. Cyborgs didn’t let their prospective mates out of their sight. Kane had been right about that too. But she wasn't a mate, was she?
“Not exactly.”
Laura frowned. “Then what exactly?” she asked sounding worried now.
Elenor knocked back her drink. “He told me I should go. So….. I’ve gone.”
Laura’s eye’s widened and she shook her head in disbelief. “A newly bonded male told his mate to go? To leave him? Ut ha. Never happening. I’ve never heard of such a thing. They’re normally so far up your ass….” Laura started to smile then re-focused. “Point is, no Cyborg leaves his mate. Ever.”
She narrowed her eyes on Elenor. “He didn’t mean the Planet, did he?” Elenor called the Cyborg for another drink. She didn’t need to answer that and was rewarded with Laura’s next statement. “O my god, he’s going to lose his shit big time when he finds out.” Laura started to laugh again, slapping her arm. “You are so in the deep end girl. He’s gonna be coming for you fast. They’ll be nowhere to hide on that Station. He’s gonna track you and fuck you into next week. You’d better hold on tight, that rides gonna be out of this world.”
“You're meant to be my friend,” Elenor mumbled. Laura laughed harder.
“I am. Forwarned and all that. You’d best be ready. He’ll be coming.” She didn’t want to be ready. Did she?
***
C escorted the wounded into the hospital. The men were well guarded. Several Cyborgs roamed the ward or stood by beds. Medical staff worked around them. No implements that could be used as weapons were used without the presence of a Cyborg next to the bed. No female alone with the men. It wasn’t logical to aid these men, they had crimes to answer for and he expected most, if not all, would soon be dead but the Doctor had insisted. Kane’s second, her mate told him it was her way as they watched her work. C could see she looked very much like her daughter, taking in all the similarities. He thought she’d be here. Looking around he couldn’t see her and took a stroll outside.
Kane’s second came towards him holding out his arm to clasp. There hadn’t been time before to give an official Cyborg greeting. “Good work. The interrogators will start tomorrow.” C nodded, and Kane’s second indicated they should move into the hall next door. C went with him. “Communication from Kane. He is off world with his mate. They are to see the Doctor at the Space Station. Both are well.”
Entering the building he stopped and looked intensely at C. “There is a complication raised by Kane. The female you showed interest in at the dock, is wearing a bonding bite. Is it yours?” C didn't hesitate in acknowledging it. He would not deny his actions. “Are you mated?” C shook his head. “But you tasted and scented her, breathed it in so it saturated your systems?” He slowly nodded. “Just sweat, skin and air?” he asked.
C shook his head. “No. Blood and cum too.”
“Fuck. You are to get on the next ship out of here to the Station. It leaves in three days be on it.”
C didn’t understand the order. Unless he had done something to harm or upset the female. “She is harmed?”
“No, she’s not harmed. She’s running for some reason and you’d better figure it out and fast. If you don’t complete the mating …….. Be on that ship heading to the Space Station.”
C frowned. She’d run from him. Found him unworthy. She did not think him a Cyborg to be with. He had not asked for this, but his systems had demanded it. His chest tightened, and a lump formed in his throat. He couldn’t say the words and rubbed at his chest. The Cyborg took pity on him.
“What your feeling here,” he touched his chest, “is the mating need to be with your female. The fact that she is gone from you is pulling on you. It will ride you until you are unstable and cannot be with anyone else but her or you complete it. Had you not tasted and scented her, not taken her blood, tasted her, you might have found another in time. Now, your systems are in danger of shutting down and you could die if you do not complete it. Did the female want you?” C felt sure she did. He had made her come and she had enjoyed him touching her. He gave a nod. “Get on that ship.”
***
She’d taken to avoiding Kane. She knew it to be cowardly, what little time she’d spent in his company he’d not mentioned the bite again and she’d not brought it up. Laura had a few times and it was clear that Laura and Kane had discussed it. Elenor didn’t like it but what was she to do about it. They were mated, and mates talked.
She felt increasingly tired and tight. Her sleep constantly interrupted. She woke with memories of him. Surrounding her, tasting her, touching her, bringing her to orgasm. Driving her crazy, as her body betrayed her night after night. She woke aching and needing something….. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew human anatomy. He had started something in her and now she wanted him. Between her legs and in her.
Just the thought of it and her body fired again, her breasts becoming heavy, aching to be touched. She took herself to the shower each morning, blasting cold water on her body to bring her some control. And still images of how good he would feel fucking her, gave her no respite. Just the memory of her hand around, partly around, that unbelievably thick long cock, his fingers in her and her mouth watered……. Frustration rode her. She didn’t want this! Did she?
There hadn’t been many men on her world that were single before the Cyborgs came. She’d resigned herself to being alone and she was ok with that. She’d had the odd fumble in the dark, with literally two boys close to her age and she’d kind of enjoyed it but it left her feeling it wasn’t worth it. Not understanding what all the hype was about. She’d happily decided she could live without it and the issues it came with. Now…… she wasn’t so sure.
What had happened to her ordered life? she asked herself…… Hadn’t she decided? She was happy being single. Liked it. Enjoyed her work. Had a good life. Didn’t want all that mess and …. crap that came with having a male around….. And then they would leave. And she would what? Hold the fort in the hope that he came back?
Elenor chilled. No. She was not doing that! She was not living in fear anymore. Not choosing that as a life. She’d endured enough. The thought of all that came with him, overwhelmed her again. She couldn’t have so much in her life. Elenor rubbed at her eyes holding back the tears. Why her? Why should she and not others have lived to have a life? It was too much, too big a burden. She just needed some peace. Some stability in her life. Not keep looking over her shoulder all the time, waiting for the next death. Wary of the next sentence, the next episode, the next disaster. It was more than she could cope with.
Chapter Five
She was a mess by the time the ship docked. Laura had become more and more concerned about her as the journey had gone on and she’d become more reclusive. Elenor had brushed it off telling her she was fine. But they both knew she wasn’t. She was constantly on edge. Hot, needy. Finding herself unable to release the tension in her body no matter what she did or how often. It had become more than just embarrassing, and she seemed constantly in heat. Clawing at herself.
Laura had tried to get her to see the medic on board but Elenor had declined. What could he do anyway? She was craving something she didn't want. It was stupid and crazy and in time, she would get over it, she kept telling herself. But deep down she knew better and had made an appointment with the Station Doctor. She was desperate and needed help.
Privately in those dark hours, Elenor would amid to herself she was worried and needed to talk
to someone. She didn’t recall anyone going through a bonding this bad before. She was sure she would have noticed, and someone would have definitely talked. This was new to her and her dreams weren’t helping. Intermingled images and memories of extreme sexual pleasure with her Cyborg and nightmares of people she’d lost, kept invading her mind. She woke exhausted, troubled and her body craving sex as much as carrying the burden of sadness. She hoped the Doctor had some answers for her, she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. Elenor comforted herself with the fact that she was an authority on all things Cyborg and she needed to talk to someone before she burst or went crazy.
So she’d made the appointment and with a promise of meeting up later, Elenor had made a quick exit of the ship on docking and found her allocated birth. Then took the lift to the Gallerea and stepped out. In to what felt like land based fresh air. It took her back a moment, having expected the dull feel of recycled artificial air. But not here. It was a revelation. Reminding her of home. She thought the docking area and the corridors and births had good air but this, was something else.
Elenor smiled and closed her eyes, she could almost believe she was still land based. She breathed in deeply. That was so good. It had taken four weeks with engines she didn’t understand to do a distance that not long ago, that would have taken six months. Such short distances between worlds meant things could be flash frozen, transported and still arrived in peak condition in chilled containers. It was all such a wonder to her. Foreign and alien. It was a marvelous thing.
Walking quickly, she took in the sights and sounds around her. The gym, the theatre, the park area, the shops, bars and restaurants. She’d never seen so much of everything. She stood in awe of nearly everything she passed. Reminding herself to go back and check this or that out later. She spotted the restaurant that Laura had told her to meet her at and walked over to medical. She gave her name at the reception area and sat down.
Elenor looked around her. She couldn’t miss it was far more polished than her mother’s clinic. A pang of sadness hit her, that was interrupted as a tall beautiful woman came rushing out. Far younger than Elenor had expected. “Hello Elenor, I’m Doctor Navarille. Come in, come in.” Elenor shook her hand and followed her through the corridors to her office. “Please take a seat, how can I help you?”
She looked up at the Doctor smiling from behind her desk as she took the seat indicated. Now she was here, Elenor wasn’t sure where to start. She swallowed. “Are you the lead Doctor here? I don’t mean to be rude…. It’s just that you seem so young?”
The Doctor nodded. “I am. Child prodigy I did a lot of things in a very short time.”
Elenor worried her lip nodding feeling the heat rising in her body again. “It’s .........all confusing, messed up.” She blurted. The Doctor sat looking at her encouraging and nodding. Elenor took a deep breath and it all spilled out. She told her what she couldn’t tell her own mother. She felt dead inside and welcomed it. It was easier to deal with than all that emotion. Before the Cyborgs came she’d wake up and find herself surprised to still be alive to do another day. Not knowing if that, would be her last day and then she’d wake up the next morning and it would hit her all over again, that she’d survived another day and on it went. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.
Loosing so many people hurt. She’d stopped making friends it was just too hard to lose them. Until she’d met Laura and not really invested in that friendship until the Cyborgs came. She’d got used to not enjoying things. She didn’t want to. It felt wrong, so many had died with no chance of anything. She’d expected the worst to happen during all those years and at some point, it always did. She still expected it to happen. It dragged her down, weighing heavily on her and she knew she welcomed it in some weird way.
Elenor took a breath and a moment. She’d been happy to see the Cyborgs arrive, just like everyone else had, she’d told her honestly. Then, things started to progress, and she struggled to find her place in this new world. It felt too little too late. She would see what happened when Cyborgs found their mate on her world and chosen to dismiss it. It wasn’t for her. Then stupidly challenged a Cyborg who’d made his interest known and to her dismay….. she’d liked it. He scented her desire and bit her.
Elenor swallowed, “……..I can’t be…” she shook her hand back and forth, “with one. It’s too much, so overwhelming, I ……. can't breathe around him, can’t think and the effects of him are……..too hot, all-consuming. It takes you over. Brings feelings and emotions I didn’t think I wanted crashing over you. Leaving you breathless, boneless…...” She shook her head, “before this, ….. the act itself…I didn’t like it. It was messy and awful, and I didn’t want it. Couldn’t see the point of it apart from the obvious. Now I’m cracking up. Day after day the heat everytime I think of him……… its driving me crazy. I like my life, I do. It's ordered, uncomplicated, predictable. I like predictable. We lost so many people…….it all came too late.”
She swallowed again and shook her head taking several deep breaths. “The attraction,….. it’s powerful. Scary powerful. It takes over everything….the dreams, the craving…its…..” Elenor frowned and sighed. “Cyborg’s, are warriors, they fight, go off who knows where. I don’t need more death or people getting hurt or damaged around me. Or not coming back at all,” she whispered. “I’ve enough nightmares, I’ve seen enough to last me a lifetime. I’m sick of seeing it. I’m not choosing that life for me. I won’t. I refuse to.”
She sat back relieved to have it all out there. The Doctor passed her some water. Elenor nodded and took it. Her mouth was dry as paper. Taking several large gulps to help calm her. She knew she’d been rambling but once she’d started she couldn’t seem to stop. And felt better with each passing second. It was such a relief to have it out there. Have someone hear it.
“Better?” the doctor asked her, looking at her carefully, kindly.
Elenor nodded. “I feel a bit stupid, sorry. It all just blurted out. I didn’t mean to burden you with all that. And I know I behaved stupidly with the Cyborg. I know the rules. Hell,” she threw her hands in the air, “I live on a world where Cyborgs come to find mates.”
“Is that what you think? Your world is used as a mating ground?”
Elenor shrugged and sighed. “Yes, no, I don’t know. It seems like it.” She sounded sulky, resentful and she was suddenly very embarrassed again for a different reason. She sounded like a spoilt child.
They sat in silence for a while. Elenor thinking about what she’d just said. She looked up. “It’s not is it?” The Doctor shook her head slowly.
“No, but I can see it looks like that and I guess in some respects it is accidentally true, a large number have been found on your world. More than anywhere else actually. So I can see that with the regular rotation of Cyborgs, which is part of their role as security for the Empire and their obligation to their worlds, that it would seem like it.”
Elenor could see that too. “There’s something about the women hanging about and trying to attract them at every opportunity. I find it uncomfortable. I try to think it means nothing but actually, it’s not how our world was. I don’t see it as a change for the better. It seems desperate …… demeaning to both the women and the Cyborgs.”
“Are the women being made to do it?” The Doctor asked kindly.
Elenor shook her head. “No, not at all. They seem to like doing it. It’s just that there is no choice now is there? We live there, the Cyborgs now live there too I guess. They have that DNA thing going on, it drives them to find a mate. The women want mates so it’s all there for the taking but is that right? Is that ok? I sound like a prude. I’m not, well I don’t think I am.” She sighed. “I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about or how to explain it really.”
The Doctor smiled at her. “You don’t like the changes the Cyborgs are making to your world and in many respects, that’s natural. Before they came, your world was on the brink
of extinction, but you had an accepted way of life. You made the best of things, knew how things were going to be. Then suddenly all that changes and is turned on its head. People will respond differently to that.”
Elenor nodded disgruntled. “It’s not even that really. It all came too late for so many.”
The Doctor nodded at her. “You sound a little resentful.”
Elenor nodded. “I am. I know it sounds a little crazy. They came too late, brought too much and take over everything. We lost so many people and the others are out there having a good time. It just feels wrong.”
The Doctor smiled sadly at her, giving her a moment to get her nerves under control. Elenor had started to shake, she gripped her fists. Too much emotion she didn’t want. “There’s a professional name for what your feeling but in a nutshell, it’s likely to be linked to ‘survivors’ guilt’ and I’d say you are suffering the effects of a stress disorder. It can be an enormous mountain to climb.”
Elenor looked around the room nodding sadly, it was embarrassing to keep looking at her, now that she knew she wasn’t coping well. Elenor felt a failure she couldn’t help it. “That doesn’t explain the other thing,” she whispered. “The heat, the craving, the dreams, it invades my sleep, I wake and cannot control it.”
The Doctor didn’t answer her. Elenor waited and eventually turned back to look at her. “It does for both things in a way. Survivors guilt stops you from wanting to live your life. Puts obstacles in your way, stops you moving on, accepting things. It can give rational reasons why you shouldn’t do something or be with others. Or be happy. It can cloud everything you do. Inhibit your own feelings and emotions. A stress disorder can inhibit your responses, limit what you can do. Sex might not have been the grand romantic experience you had expected it to be when younger, and coupled with the disappointment you found and the conditions under which you were living, that wouldn’t be unusual.
C- Sizzling Page 8
