C- Sizzling

by Jessie Rose Case

  “Particularly if it wasn’t an all-consuming passion for you. That alone, can influence how you view things and to be fair Elenor, it’s the only experience you have.” Elenor knew it to be true but it still stung. “Of course, it’s possible that you genuinely do not feel an attraction to men, but I think we both know from what you’ve told me, that is not true.”

  “Are you suggesting I should go out and sleep with other men to see if it's different?” Elenor asked getting a little angry, the sting hurting her in its truth.

  “If that’s what you want to do.” The Doc told her calmly.

  Elenor frowned and took some more water. “I don’t want to do that.”

  The Doctor looked like she agreed with her. “Ok then, what do you want to do about it? You’re here, so that means something.”

  “I want some help to understand what’s happening with me.” She told her honestly.

  Doc nodded. “I can do that. Your emotional difficulties can be worked through in time with the right support and help. The problems you’re experiencing from the bite are a little more difficult. When he bit you, he took a little blood and then he lapped at it. During that process, his nano’s transmitted to you. Entering your bloodstream, slowly bringing on those feelings you enjoyed with him. Because he’s not able to satisfy that need in you since, it will continue to rise until either the mating is completed, or it eventually withers.”

  “Am I married?”

  “Not quite. But if the male took in your DNA, your scent, tasted you and you were willing in some way. Gave a positive reaction, welcomed it and he scented arousal from you and took that into him. It’s embedded on his code now Elenor. You know as well as I do what that means.”

  She nodded. “I don’t want any more death around me. I can’t.” She didn't want to acknowledge the truth of it.

  “And we can work to prevent that. But make no mistake Elenor, he will be coming for you and hard. He will see you as his mate. You gave him a challenge when you could have just denied him and walked away. You were aroused by him, wanted him in that moment. He will know that, it will be ingrained on his systems and he’ll be hunting for you. It’s how they are made.”

  Elenor sighed. “I know.”

  “Do you at least like him?”

  Elenor shrugged. “I don’t even know him. Know nothing about him. Didn’t even look on him until that first time…..”

  “Well, we can fix that immediately.” She handed her a datapad. “He has given his permission for you to read his file. It’s all there. It’s ……… difficult reading at times but he said you should see it all.”

  Elenor took the datapad. “What’s his name?”

  The Doc looked at her sadly. “He doesn’t have one.”

  ***

  C had received the request to share his information with the female 9 days ago. He’d not hesitated in agreeing to it. Wanting her to have it all. It seemed….. important to do so. He would be on this ship for another 19 days until it reached the Station and could see her. So he knew the request was too soon for her own ship to have arrived. Logic told him that the female had requested something from the Doctor on the Station prior to her arrival and the Doctor had thought this was necessary.

  Not that the Doctor had said why, and he hadn’t expected her to tell him. Doctors didn’t do that but unlike the Designers, this Doctor asked, saying it was private to him and she needed his permission so he assumed the same would be said for the female.

  So he given it, as well as his downloaded memories taken prior to the operation of his new Cyborg hardware and software upload. It told the story of his life.

  He wondered for the 248th time, if the female understood it. Could see what had happened in his life. Had any thoughts on it. His logic continued to tell him such thoughts were irrelevant. She would think what she wanted but that did not answer his queries. He wanted to know.

  His optic ran the data that told him the craft was moving at optimum speed. Yet his systems gave him conflicting data telling him it was taking too long to get there. His shoulders were tight and working out took up much of his time, but it didn’t seem to be enough. His body was failing him. Thoughts of the female were now infiltrating his mind hourly. Moments captured of her, would play over and over again through his databanks. The small amount of time in her company, studied for every minute detail, every slight facial expression, every slight body movement. He was sure his senses were not wrong. She had desired him. He had scented and tasted it. And every time his thoughts ran to her, his body hardened, his sack filled with seed, his cock hard enough to break ice.

  Was she trying to kill him? His mind swiftly dismissed it. He did not believe it and there was no logic to that thinking. He had not scented any ill intent in her voice, her body or actions.

  The female had looked thoroughly sated when he’d made her come. The sight of her in that moment carved into his brain, the smell of her on his fingers haunted him. He had meant it when he’d told her next time, her cum would be on his tongue. Her anger sparked at something he’d said. It could still see it clearly and it warmed him. Did that mean she’d liked it? Liked him? Had he pursued her knowing that? And then she’d turned against him for some reason. C stared out the window. He did not know.

  ***

  Elenor sat in the park on the Gallerea with the datapad held firmly in her grip. Not realizing how hard she was holding it until her hand started to ache. She’d had to stop reading several times. It had been too difficult to carry on at times. The Doctor had been right. It was hard reading. Carefully so as not to drop it, she unfurled her fingers and stretched them. It hadn’t left anything out. She couldn’t imagine what he’d had to endure over those long years. Being birthed as an adult, then operated on. Fusing the Cyborg system to his skeleton. Cutting open his skull and attaching the data chips and hardware. Then the ‘special’ equipment. The optics. They’d removed his eyes… added the data screens, wired them up and put them back! She wasn’t sure if she could hold back her tears this time.

  It was inhuman. Elenor shuddered. How did you live with that knowledge and experience and not go insane? She didn’t know. As soon as he was able, he’d been sent out on missions. The details were limited but it was clear that it had been dangerous. Reports of the injuries over those years were extensive. Some of it shocking and heart-breaking. He had commendation after commendation. Bravery above and beyond. Taking on the most difficult of missions, not that he would have had a choice. Saving many. Never giving up on a mission. He was a force of nature, leading likeminded Cyborgs into unbelievable situations. Years turned into decades and still, the records went on. Elenor felt ill. The missions, the damage. The operations, the repairs. Pain receptors turned off and work carried out without anesthesia. It was brutal and cruel. How he’d survived it all she did not know.

  Then the lost period. Being injured then captured. A hard memory wipe. New commands implanted. Then the brutality increased. Mission after mission. Turned on. Orders carried out. Then turned off again put back in stasis until the next time he was needed. His body shock started every time. Until that last mission. The damage so vast that it had not been repairable by his captor's limited resources. Head trauma possible brain injury, chest injury and one arm gone. His functionality compromised, physical integrity limited, power low. Combat ability negligent.

  He was crated for repairs or ……disposal. They had used him, then washed their hands of him when he was of no further use. Elenor could guess what that had meant.

  Her vision swam, and water dropped onto the datapad. Elenor looked up. Her chest ached, she blinked and knew she’d been crying without realizing it. He had been through so much. She wiped at her face and replayed the information again, going around and around in her head. Head trauma, possible brain injury, chest injury, and one arm gone. Functionality compromised….

  Elenor wiped at her face, turning to the report made by Kim. The Admiral’s wife. She'd found him in that crate on her first enc
ounter with the Cyborgs and tried to fix him. Then the Doctors on the Station had taken over. New chest section re-grown. New arm. New tissue generation. His head looked at again. Tests after tests. There was a lot they did not know about what had happened to him and what it could mean in the future. His logs had been compromised by the re-start shock treatment. They’d also evaluated him and found him not unsurprisingly, suffering from shell shock and PTSD. His leadership skills had been shattered.

  Elenor noticed he still hadn’t activated his emotions or pain receptors linked to his memories and had refused to have his neuro net repaired. Preferring to keep them turned off. Elenor put the datapad down.

  That didn’t make any sense to her. If his emotions were off, then how had he responded to her? He’d been very bit emotional with her, there was no doubt about that. It was pure emotion. Intense and stimulating. The feel of him as he touched her imprinted on her brain. She was sure of it and it wasn’t like she could ignore the evidence of his desires brushing up against her. He’d used it to good effect and his hands……. Moving just how she’d needed him. It was instinctive, he’d wanted to do it. Before he’d rejected her anyway.

  Elenors body responded at the memory. She blew out a shuddery breath and wiped her face again. No matter. He was a survivor. Just like she was.

  Elenor held the datapad to her chest again, looking around her at all the people getting on with their lives. Recalling what had happened on this Station being more horrific than her own experiences. The women here had survived the raids and were moving on with their lives. The Doctor’s programme of self-defense classes, Tai Chi and meditation, along with counseling, health and wellbeing programmes, they were all helping the people here cope with the tragedies. And there had been plenty of them. Not a family untouched just like her own world.

  Elenor pulled the datapad away again and brought up the programme the Doctor had set for her. She had two weeks full of events. All compulsory. She slowly rose and headed back to her rooms. Suddenly not hungry at all. The last thing she needed was company. She stroked down the side of the datapad. She had all the company she needed right here. He might not be here physically, but he was with her. She messaged Laura declining to meet up later after all, she would order room service and retire early, reading his life once more and be ready for tomorrow. She wanted to be well. Be able to get on with her life and not feel the guilt of having survived. Her first glass was Tai Chi, bright and early in the morning and she was eager to get to it.

  ***

  C stood at the docking ramp. He had no direct orders and wasn’t sure what he was meant to be doing here. He’d been given an appointment to see the Doctor from disembarkation. The information he’d received talked about the problems of prolonged emotional separation from a prospective 'mate'.

  Was the female his mate after all?

  It lowered, and Kane stood there. C wasn’t surprised to see him. He knew his second would have relayed that he’d made the ship as ordered. C had been assigned to his group for the duration of his stay on the Station. He walked down the ramp and held out his arm in greeting. “Councilman.”

  Kane gripped his arm. “Commander. You made good time.” C dropped his arm.

  “It took long enough.” He complained.

  Kane laughed. “Don’t let Kim hear you say that, it has one of her new engines in it.” C nodded. Kim was fierce. No one liked to upset her. She was a fine match for the Admiral, their HoS and he would kill for her. “I’m to escort you to the Doc.” Kane turned, and C went with him hoisting his personal belongings with him. They walked towards the lifts. “You bit the female. That means you’re probably bonded, you took her blood and scent too. There are issues when we turn off our emotional drives and meet our mates. It can make us …. unstable. I understand that yours have been off for longer than anyone that we know of. We are not sure what that will mean for you or her if you turn them back on and want to be mated. All of it at the same time? We don't know what that will do. The Doc will check you out and do some work. Are you in pain?”

  C shook his head. “No.” Kane opened the lift and got in, C followed him. “Then your sensors and emotions might still be in check or dormant. Are you responsive to the female?”

  “Yes.”

  Kane looked at him. “And you are sure your emotions and sensors are all off?” C gave a nod. “Then we have a quandary.”

  The lift doors opened and they both stepped out on to the Gallerea. C breathed in the air. It was always a surprise how fresh and clean it felt. Kane moved forward heading to medical. C stopped, catching slight notes of the female in the air, he moved in that direction automatically and found Kane holding him back. “She is not here.”

  C blinked then nodded focusing on him. Checked around him then strode passed people getting on with their lives heading to medical once more. The shops were mostly open and selling goods. Entertainment was in full swing. He’d been here before while in recovery and not taken part in much of anything. It hadn’t been long after the raid and people were struggling to come to terms with what had happened here. He’d preferred to train, eat and returned to his bunk.

  As his strength came back he’d eaten more and regained the weight he’d lost, slowly becoming accustomed to his new arm and implants. Wanting to be in peak performance as soon as possible, he’d worked hard to get back on track. The quality of the fresh food had been a bonus and had helped with that. His entire focus had been on working hard to be useful once more. To be Cyborg. He hadn’t needed anything else, then. Now, he knew he needed more.

  Kane stopped outside the entrance. “I’ll stow your kit. The Doc has your berth. I expect to see you engaging in whatever programme she has set up for you. This situation needs resolving. We have a possible unstable Cyborg and a female that is not fully claimed. Neither situation is in the best interests of either of you.” He indicated the doorway and C walked through.

  ***

  Elenor felt better than she had for …… she couldn’t remember! Her days had been filled with a timetable for self-improvement, mental exploration and contemplation, counseling, physical exercise and professional reflection. She had no idea what half of it was for, but she liked it.

  The self-defense twice a week was her favorite and she really found herself looking forward to it. Her least favorite, the daily reflection. She struggled to talk about her life on her homeworld. She liked the therapist it just brought up so many things she’d spent a long time trying to forget. But then, that was the point, wasn’t it? There were things she needed to deal with. Things she needed to tell her mother.

  Elenor knew that wouldn't be easy. She would take it personally. Feeling that she’d let her down and Elenor knew that wasn’t true. She hadn’t wanted to burden her mother with more than what she already had on her plate over those years. So she’d bottled it all up and stamped it down. Until now. The process of self-discovery was to talk to her mother about her life and how Elenor’s actions had affected her to those that loved her. It was one of the most difficult things Elenor had ever done.

  Her mother had been upset and concerned and had predictably felt she’d failed her by not seeing it or helping her more. Elenor had been quick to tell her that this was about her. That no one had let her down. That they all had to recognize dealing with things out of their control. For her, it was coming to terms with so much loss and her guilt at surviving. And thought that she might not be the only one.

  They talked about creating a programme similar to what she was going through. Thinking it might help others on their world. Her mother agreed. She’d been working on something similar with those that were obviously struggling, and in mental and physical pain, but she could see the benefits of bringing in what Dr. Navarille had created. They’d laughed and cried and ended the vid conference telling each other they loved each other. Elenor felt so much better after it. A weight lifted from her shoulders. As she turned off the datapad, she breathed easier. Feeling genuinely freer. One huge step d
one.

  ***

  “Do you understand what is happening here C?” The Doctor asked him.

  C gave her a nod. “I am told I am bonded.”

  The Doctor smiled. “It’s likely yes. Your emotional chip and pain sensors linked to your memories are still turned off?” He gave her a nod. “They have been off for a very long time haven’t they?” He gave another nod. She smiled again, she looked sad C registered. He didn’t understand why. It wasn’t her fault. “In order to process this situation, you will need to turn them back on. All of them. I know that will not be easy and it will come with its own problems. No one knows what that will do to you. There are a lot of suppressed memories and pain during those years. Your records are full of it. I cannot say how that will affect you. We will try to work with you to turn them on slowly, but I just don’t know. I’ve not dealt with someone who’s emotions have been off for so long. Decades is a very long time and now, they are spilling over into a mating bond. It could be too much for your systems. I simply do not know.”