Do It Or Else: A High School Bully Romance (Dirty Little Secret Book 3)

by Kai Juniper

"Well, yeah. Nobody likes being rejected."

  "I mean like in a creepy way, like he's going to stalk you now that you told him no."

  "Calvin wouldn't do that. He's not a stalker."

  "He might be. The guy is strange. He lives in the computer lab and never talks to anyone."

  "Because everyone makes fun of him. They don't even give him a chance." I glance back at Briggs' table and see that he left.

  "He didn't leave with her," Charlotte says.

  "With who?"

  "Nicole. He didn't leave with her."

  "I don't care either way. He can do what he wants." I get up. "I need to go. I have to stop at my locker before class."

  I leave the cafeteria and go down the hall, stopping when I see Briggs just outside the computer lab. Calvin is on the floor in front of him. Did Briggs hit him?

  I hurry toward them, then stop when I see Briggs offering his hand to Calvin.

  "Need some help?" he says.

  Calvin looks up at him with fear. I think he might even be shaking.

  "I'm not going to hurt you," Briggs says. "I saw you fall. I'm just offering to help."

  Calvin doesn't move.

  "You need help or not?" Briggs says.

  Calvin keeps his eyes on Briggs as he takes his hand and gets up from the floor.

  "You okay?" Briggs asks.

  "I think so," Calvin says, tripping on his feet as he steps back.

  "You sure? You don't look too steady."

  "I was nervous. I'm feeling better now." He looks up at Briggs. "Thanks."

  "No problem."

  Calvin hurries into the lab.

  Briggs looks up and sees me, then turns and walks the other way.

  "Briggs!" I run up beside him. "What you did just now...it was nice."

  "Did I ask for your opinion?" he grunts, staring straight ahead.

  "No, I was just saying it was nice."

  He stops and turns to me. "I don't give a shit what you think. About anything. Just leave me the fuck alone." He storms off.

  "This is how it's going to be?" I yell. "You're back to being an ass?"

  He ignores me and keeps walking.

  "Jerk," I mutter.

  Why do I even try with him? Obviously whatever happened to him those few weeks we were together was a fluke and the real Briggs is an asshole bully who will never change.

  After school, I get home and find my dad in the kitchen.

  "We're not working?" I ask.

  "A storm's coming. We're done for the day." He hands me an envelope.

  "What's this?" I ask, dropping my backpack on the floor.

  "Open it and see."

  The envelope has the Stanford logo on it. After being rejected by two schools, I'm not feeling hopeful. I open it and read the first sentence.

  "Good news?" my dad asks, noticing the smile on my face.

  "I got in!" I feel a rush of excitement, but it's quickly extinguished when I remember I probably won't be going to college. Even if I don't go to jail, my dad won't have money for college. He'll be spending my college fund on lawyers.

  "Honey, that's great!" My dad hugs me, then pulls back. "Why aren't you more excited?"

  "I am. I guess I'm just shocked. I didn't think I'd get in."

  "Let's go out and celebrate. Are you hungry? We could have an early dinner. Or we could go to a movie. Is there anything you want to see?"

  "Can we do it some other time? I'm really tired."

  His brows draw together. "Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah. It's just been a long day. I'm going to go lay down."

  I feel him watching me as I go in my room. He'll ask me about it later, assuming something's wrong. I'll tell him I'm stressed about school, but the truth is, I'm stressed about the hit-and-run, and stressed about Briggs. Why won't he let me help him? Why is he shutting me out of his life?

  I still care about him. I miss him. I never would've thought it was possible, but I do. I miss Briggs, and care about him. I don't want this to be the end.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Briggs

  My life is going from bad to worse and all I see is a black hole leading to the end. The past few weeks I was starting to feel hopeful, because of Ella. She didn't even know what was going on, but she made me believe I could get through this.

  Now she knows the truth, and I hate her for that. She was never supposed to see what she saw. She was never supposed to know. Nobody was supposed to know. As much as I hated keeping this secret, I couldn't tell anyone. I didn't want anyone knowing what a fucking coward I am, letting my father control me and beat me, and not doing anything about it. I keep telling myself it's part of my plan and that I'm not fighting back because he'll take away what I need to escape this hell. But that's only part of it. The other part is something I don't want to admit, even to myself.

  I'm afraid. I'm fucking afraid of my own father. And now Ella knows that. She saw it with her own eyes. She knows I'm a fucking coward. I can't even look at her. I don't want to see the pity on her face, looking at me like she feels sorry for me. I hate that shit. I don't need her feeling sorry for me. What happens to me is none of her fucking business.

  But she won't let it go. All last week she kept pushing me to tell her shit. She wants to fix this, but it can't be fixed. Why can't she just stay out of my fucking life? Why did she have to walk in my house at the very moment my dad punched me?

  We were having a fight. That's why he did it. The fight wasn't about Ella, or me not being valedictorian. It was about something that happened at the office. I was going over some files on my dad's laptop and had a question about something I didn't understand. I asked him about it and he blew up at me. He ripped the laptop from my hand and threw it across the room. He starting yelling at me, threatening me if I told anyone what was in those files. I had no idea what he was talking about. The files were just investment spreadsheets. They didn't seem any different than ones I'd seen before. Why that would set him off like that makes no fucking sense. I still can't figure it out.

  We left the office and my dad yelled at me the whole way home. When we got inside, he punched me in the face and shoved me against the wall. I didn't think Ella would still be there. I told her she could only use the pool for an hour. She should've been gone when my dad and I got home.

  I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw my father attacking me. I was no longer the big, strong, powerful athlete she knew from school. I was someone who was weak, pitiful, pathetic.

  That was the end for us. The moment she gave me that look, it was over. I can't be with someone who looks at me that way, like I'm a coward who can't stand up to my own father. Ella's seen me beat up people at school. She's seen me take down guys on the rugby field. But I let my own father, an old man, punch me in the gut while I did nothing.

  "Fuck!" I slam my fist into the gym bag so hard the skin on my knuckles cracks and burns. I punch it again and again and again, feeling the sting on my knuckles each time, and wanting more of it. I deserve the pain. I deserve it for being such a fucking coward, and for hurting Ella. I keep hurting her and I fucking hate myself for it.

  The door swings opens, flooding the room with light. I'm in the home gym that I never use because I hate being in this house. I always use the gym at school or the one I belong to in town. I'm only in here now because I needed to punch something. I left the lights off, wanting to be bathed in darkness to match how I'm feeling right now.

  "I thought I heard you in here," my father says, turning on the lights as he stands by the door. "Why did you have the lights off?"

  "I wanted it dark," I say, punching the bag again.

  "Go clean yourself up," he scolds. "You're getting blood all over the floor."

  "Never bothered you before," I mutter, thinking of all the times he hit me so hard I bled on the shiny wood floor.

  "What was that?" he asks, his voice laced with anger.

  Maybe I should keep provoking him. Maybe if I make him angry enough, he'll
hit me so hard he'll end this for good and put me out of my misery.

  "I said it never bothered you before." I turn away from the bag to face him. He's still a safe distance away, but he could charge at me at any moment. "Blood on the floor. From you beating the shit out of me." I look him in the eye as I say it.

  He tilts his head, seeming confused by my words. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"

  "I'm not sure how else you'd describe this." I yank up my shirt, showing him the dark blue and black bruise covering my abs.

  He doesn't even glance at it. "It's called discipline. When you're a parent, you'll understand. Children need to be taught who's in charge."

  Holy shit. Those are almost the exact words I use to explain why I beat up and bully people at school, except instead of 'children' I say 'people'. People at school need to be taught who's in charge. I say that to myself when I feel even the slightest regret for hitting someone, or threatening them. It relieves my guilt, and makes me feel better, and stronger, like I'm the one with the power.

  I'm just like my father. How did I not realize that until now? I even use the same words as him.

  If I'm turning into my father, I don't want to go on. I'd rather end it, right here, right now, than live another day in his footsteps.

  "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going out for drinks with some associates," he says. "I hope by now you know this, but if not, I will remind you that you are not to have guests over."

  I keep quiet as I try to think of another way to provoke him. I thought calling him on his abuse would do it, but it didn't.

  "Briggs, did you hear me?"

  "Yeah."

  He turns to leave.

  "I knew it was her," I say.

  He turns back. "Who? What are you referring to?"

  "Valedictorian. I knew it was Ella."

  He smirks. "Of course you did. You're sleeping with her."

  He knew? How did he know? I keep telling him how much I hate her. Was it that obvious I was lying?

  "Why didn't you say anything?" I ask.

  "Would it have made a difference?" He walks over to me. "I can't watch you every second of the day, Briggs. I know you're doing things I don't approve of. You're young and impulsive. You do what feels right in the moment. I was the same way at your age. Thankfully, my father was strict with me, as I am with you, and eventually made me see my errors in judgment." He lifts his hand, running his cold fingers over the bruise on my neck. "It's difficult for a father to have to take such measures to get the desired results, but trust me, son, you'll thank me someday." His hand grips my neck, so hard I'm struggling to breathe. "As for the Quinn girl," he says with a smirk, "your punishment for not telling me she's valedictorian will not leave bruises behind."

  "What does that mean?" I say, choking on the words as he keeps hold of my neck.

  He leans down to me. "She's mine, Briggs. I will see that she's punished for taking what was yours. And any pain you feel because of it will be your punishment." He lets go of me and steps back, that smirk still on his face.

  "Dad, no! Leave her alone! She didn't do anything! Just leave her alone!"

  He laughs a little, then turns and leaves.

  Shit! What do I do? I have to stop whatever he's planning, but if I don't know what that is, how do I stop it?

  My phone rings. It's Parker. He's going to ask me for the millionth time to go to the party tonight. It's Saturday, which means it's time to put on that famous Briggs smile and pretend everything's great for the most popular guy in school. All the alcohol in the world couldn't help me pull that off, not tonight, not when I'm feeling like this.

  I hate myself for what I’ve done to Ella. I've treated her like shit all week at school and now my dad's planning to destroy her. I thought I could protect her. When he threatened to do something before, I really thought I could protect her, but now I don't think I can. I've considered telling her what's going on, but what's the point? She can't do anything about it.

  The phone continues to ring, so I finally just answer it. "I'm not going to the fucking party."

  "Neither am I," Parker says. "Jason's parents found out and ended it before it even started, so Finn and I are just going to hang out here."

  "Yeah? So why are you calling?"

  "Coach wants to know what's going on with you. I didn't know what to say."

  "When was he asking you this?"

  "I saw him at the gas station like a half hour ago. He said he's worried about you because you haven't been paying attention in practice and you played like shit at last night's game."

  "He said I played like shit?"

  I'm not surprised. I did play like shit. It was because I can't stop thinking about Ella, and because I'm still in so much pain from my father hitting me that even a handful of painkillers couldn't help.

  "He didn't say 'shit' but that's what he meant."

  "So what'd you tell him?"

  "I said you're tired from trying to keep up with your classes."

  "Did he buy it?"

  "He didn't really say. He'll probably talk to you Monday. Anyway, get your ass over here. We'll have a guys' night."

  "I don't feel like it."

  "Briggs, c'mon. This could be the last time we get to do this before...you know."

  "Before the cops take us to jail? Funny how you keep forgetting this wouldn't be happening if it weren't for you and Finn."

  "The guy would've turned us in even if we'd done all the shit he told us to do. At least I'm not out ten grand. Forget all that. Let's just hang out tonight. Just come over for a few hours."

  "I can't be around Finn right now. I'm sick of him acting like this doesn't matter. He got us into this mess and he doesn't even give a shit."

  "He's not coming over until later. It'll just be you and me."

  I consider it, not wanting to go, but also not wanting to be here.

  "I'll be there in twenty minutes," I tell him.

  "No shit?" he says with a laugh. "I didn't think you'd do it."

  I end the call and run upstairs to my room to shower. I'm not sure why I'm going over there. My friendship with Parker hasn't been the same since the accident. He's become more like Finn, not giving a shit about anything. He hasn't talked about college since the accident. He's given up on his future and turned to drinking and drugs to avoid having to think about what's going to happen to us.

  When I get to his house, the door's unlocked so I go inside and find him in the kitchen, looking through the fridge.

  "Hey," I say, getting his attention.

  He looks back and smiles. "Holy shit, you actually showed up. You hungry?"

  "What do you have?"

  "Leftover pizza." He takes out the box and sets it on the counter.

  I'm not hungry, but I haven't eaten much today so I take a slice.

  "What's Finn doing?" I ask.

  "A girl," Parker says, laughing as he takes a slice of pizza. "He met her at his brother's house last week. His brother was done with her, so Finn took her."

  "He's doing a girl his brother just had?"

  "Yeah," Parker says, before biting into his pizza.

  I just shake my head. Finn's changed since the accident too. He's more obnoxious and careless than he ever was before.

  Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe he was always that way and I just didn't notice. Maybe Parker hasn't changed that much either. Maybe I just think Finn and Parker have changed because I've changed. I feel like a different person after that night, and I think it's more because of Ella than the accident. Getting to know her and confide in her, changed me.

  I miss her. I miss her so fucking bad. I wish things didn't have to end between us. She's the only person I could talk to who actually listened. And as angry as I am that she saw my father hit me, it was also a relief. I no longer have to keep this deep, dark secret all to myself. I didn't want Ella to find out, but in a strange way, having her know this freed me from the constant burden of trying to cover it up. />
  Parker stands at the counter, looking through his phone as he eats. "It's been a week and nothing's happened. What if he decided not to do it?"

  "He'll do it," I say. "He's purposely waiting just to torture us. It's part of his fucking game."

  Even though the texter told us he'd wait, I'm still surprised that he did. I thought for sure he would've gone to the cops by now.

  "Want a beer?" Parker asks.

  "Not right now. I'll take a soda."

  He takes a can from the fridge and tosses it to me.

  I open it and it sprays all over my shirt. "What the hell?"

  Parker laughs. "You should've waited. It got shook up when I threw it."

  Setting the can down, I go to the sink and rinse the sugary soda off my hands, then go back around the counter to where I was eating.

  "You want to throw that in the wash?" Parker points to my shirt.

  "No, I'll just toss it." I take it off, not even thinking, and throw it on the floor near the trash can. "You got one I could wear?"

  Parker drops his pizza on the counter. "What the fuck happened?"

  He's staring at the bruise on my stomach. Shit!

  "Nothing," I say, racing to get my shirt from the floor.

  "Holy shit!" I hear him say. "Who the hell did that to you?"

  I look back and see him staring at the bruises on my back and shoulders. Fuck!

  "It's from the game," I say, hurrying to get my shirt on.

  "That did NOT come from the game. I got beat up on the field more than you did last night and I'm not bruised at all."

  "Just forget it," I say, taking the rest of my pizza to the trash.

  Parker's watching me, wanting answers. Do I tell him? We used to be best friends. I should be able to tell him anything.

  Part of me wants to do it, knowing I'll feel even more relief if I stop hiding this and just tell him. Nobody else would have to know. I could just tell Parker, although he has a hard time keeping secrets.

  "Briggs, what's going on?" he asks. "How did that happen?"

  I walk up to him. "If I tell you, you tell no one. I need your word that you'll keep your mouth shut."

  "Yeah. I won't tell anyone."

  "I'm serious, Parker. You tell no one."