Flawed Justice

by Tibby Armstrong

  “We’re fucking up bad with that kid. I should’ve stepped in sooner. Curtis has been busting his ass dealing with his own work, the club, and being insta-dad. Reed’s too young to be raising him.” He slowed as they reached the edge of the city, hoping to spot the boys, but knowing damn well Ezran wouldn’t be found until he wanted to be. “I promised Noah I’d take care of him.”

  “You know, it sounds like you’re describing yourself when you talk about Curtis.” Matt’s sinuses sounded swollen as he ventured the observation. “Maybe cut yourself some slack too?”

  “At least Curtis tries. I’m ‘The Law’. I was too concerned about my goddamn image to put a kid who’d…” Lawson’s stomach turned. He shook his head. They were not going to discuss this. The last thing he needed was Matt worrying about what could’ve happened to his brother if they hadn’t gotten him out of there before the fuckers turned on him. “Ezran’s been through a lot. I should’ve put in the time. Tried to be his friend if nothing else. Him pulling disappearing acts should’ve clued me in that he wasn’t coping with losing Noah very well.”

  “I never even thought about it that way.” Matt chewed on the side of his thumb, frowning. “I figured Garet was just a pissed off teenager. Looking to make me miserable because I wasn’t our parents, and he could.” Shrugging, he dropped his hand to his lap. “Sounds like out of the two of us you have a better handle on this parenting schtick.”

  “You’re joking, right? My kid just kidnapped your kid.” Despite himself, Lawson chuckled. “At least Ezran can defend himself. And your brother’s picking up some moves fast. What worries me is if they’re going on Ezran’s need to see Noah and prove he’s independent, or if Garet’s really that upset. Ezran might’ve stopped somewhere to make sure he’s good. And he might smack him if he starts being all preachy about how you should be straight. Did he react badly when he saw you with women?”

  “Women?” Matt sat up in his seat. “I’ve never brought a girl, I mean I’ve never even—”

  “You were closeted all this time and never…” Lawson’s words trailed off. He inhaled slowly, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue. “You mean he’s never seen you with anyone? That must’ve been rough.”

  Sunlight cut through the windshield, making Matt squint. He flipped down the visor. “Why?”

  “Seems you’re closer to him than anyone. Hiding your relationships from your own brother when you’re both dealing with the same challenges? You’d figure he’d be understanding.”

  Opening his mouth, Matt closed it again, shifted in his seat, and stared resolutely out the side window. He didn’t speak for a while. When he did, it was to the glass and not to Lawson.

  “There were no relationships to hide. Meeting someone wasn’t a priority when I was doing competitions and juggling school. And after…” He blew out a breath. “Anyway, leaving him alone with our dad all those years did enough damage. I was focused on keeping him out of jail. Involving another person in my fucked up life wouldn’t have been fair to anyone. Especially Garet.”

  “And you think you didn’t do enough for the kid?” Lawson reached out and put his hand on Matt’s knee, his eyes on the road as he turned down another side street, running out of places to search. He’d have to call the club and see if anyone had heard from the teens. Ask Reed if there was enough gas in his tank to get the boys all the way to the prison. “You don’t seem the one-night-stand type, but I guess...so long as the guys were decent to you.”

  “One-night-stands?” Finally turning to look at him, Matt shook his head. “Fuck no.”

  “Never?”

  Matt inhaled slowly. “I’d rather not discuss this.”

  Pulling into a small gas station, Lawson opened the driver’s side door. Glanced back at Matt. “It’s none of my business, but the boy’s what, sixteen? I’m fairly certain he’s figured out his brother’s not a virgin.”

  Clicking off his seatbelt, Matt climbed out of the car and slammed the door behind him. The stiff set of his shoulders as he strode off toward the mini-mart in the next lot made Lawson pause. He shouldn’t have kept pushing, but he hated the way Matt beat himself up over things he couldn’t control. If he was trying to protect his brother from the realities of life, he wasn’t doing either of them any favors.

  Passing the store, Matt continued walking as though he intended to continue the search on foot. The leash was sounding like a better idea every damn minute.

  With long strides, Lawson caught up to Matt, blocking his path before he could round the corner. “Get back in the car.”

  “So you can continue the interrogation? No thanks.”

  “It wasn’t a fucking interrogation. I’m trying to understand.”

  “And you need shit spelled out for you?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Lawson’s tone sharpened as he leaned closer to Matt. “If you’re implying I’ll be another secret you keep from him, get that out of your head now.”

  “God, you’re fucking dense.” Matt shook his head and lifted his chin. “I’m a fucking virgin. It’s not a secret to Garet, I told him so he wouldn’t think I’d been whoring myself out when I was living on the streets.”

  Oh… Oh fuck. Lawson rubbed his hands over his lips and shook his head. “That’s... I don’t want him to…” He tipped his head back and whispered a silent prayer. What had seemed like a harmless conversation to him was anything but for the other man. He’d ended up forcing him to reveal much more than he was comfortable with. “I’m sorry.”

  Matt blinked fast, swallowed hard, and nodded. He looked...lost. The haunted expression morphed to something harder, and he cleared his throat. “Yeah. Me too.” He paused a second, then moved away from Lawson, returning to the car with steady steps. Climbed back inside.

  There was no easy fix to the situation, or a damn thing Lawson could say to make things better. He got to the car and braced himself against the door as he called The Asylum.

  Reed answered on the first ring. “Law? Garet’s back. He took a cab when Ezran told him he was gonna hitchhike out to the prison. The kid’s trying to catch a ride from the truck stop. I’m getting a hold of a few of the driver’s I know. No one’s gonna take him anywhere.”

  “Good. Get Garet up to your place and keep him there.” Lawson gave Matt a slight nod when he leaned across the seats. “I’m sending Matt back and I’ll head out to find the little punk.”

  “Just bring him back in one piece.”

  “I make no promises.” Lawson hung up and got in the car. Ran his tongue over his teeth, considering what he’d say next very carefully. “Do you have enough cash for a cab?”

  Pulling out his wallet, Matt thumbed through the small stack of bills. Likely all he had to his name, but now did not seem the right time for Lawson to offer to pay.

  “Yeah. Why? Did they come back? Do you need bail money for Garet?”

  And we’re back on that. Shaking his head, Lawson held Matt’s gaze for a moment. “He’s at the club. How about you stop thinking the worst of everyone? Might save you some stress. He needs you. I’m calling you a cab and going after Ezran alone. Because he needs me. And that’s all that matters.”

  “I didn’t mean…” Eyes moving past Lawson’s shoulder, he nodded. “Sure. Thanks.”

  He exited the car without saying anything else, walked to the bench at the front of the store and sat.

  Lawson hated leaving him there, but he had no choice. He called a cab, gave them directions, and left his name, along with Matt’s. He was known well enough in this city that Matt would be brought back to the club without incident. It was the best he could do at this point.

  Pulling onto the road, he looked back once through the rear-view mirror. He should have known better than to entertain the idea of being with a man like Matt. The man might have had it rough, but he’d managed to make it through his life without testing the edges of the...law. He rolled his eyes at the last and shook his head. Matt would find someone who didn’t live
by his fists while pretending he was a legit businessman. He was stronger than he gave himself credit for.

  He’d get his brother straightened out. Make enough money to get them both set up properly.

  If Lawson wasn’t such a selfish bastard, he’d be happy for the potential Matt still had. But part of him regretted the loss of what he’d had too fucking briefly. When Matt had needed him. Better it end before any real damage was done. The idea of having him sign the contract to become a full member, to learn what that entailed, seemed ridiculous now.

  What Matt was looking for, Law couldn’t give him. As violent and uncertain as his life was, it was his own. Built from nothing. He wasn’t ashamed of it. This world was where he belonged.

  He didn’t care that Matt was a virgin, but there was no mistaking why he kept going back to his brother’s reaction. This wasn’t about being gay. Garet would assume his brother was fucking Lawson for their protection. Matt might believe it as well. He deserved better.

  And Lawson hoped he found it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Matt stood in The Asylum parking lot watching the cab drive away. It had been early morning when he planned to clean downstairs and set up the pool tables with Reed. Now, the sun glared down from its zenith and Reed’s bike, thankfully no worse for the wear, was in front of the opaque front window, a yellow boot clamped to one tire. Blowing out a breath, Matt massaged the tense muscles in the back of his neck with his hand. Well, that ought to keep one vehicle here safe anyway.

  While he’d waited for the cab, he’d had time to cool down and to contemplate his argument with Lawson. Remembering the things he’d said, he screwed his eyes shut. What he wouldn’t do to turn back time and give himself a muzzle. It’d be a fucking miracle if Lawson wanted to teach him to fight anymore, much less anything else. He pressed cool hands to his cheeks. Why’d he have to go and admit he was a virgin? Even thinking the word made him cringe now.

  Setting aside the problem of his mouth, he approached the front door, intent on solving another. Namely, his brother. He didn’t know what he’d say to Garet now, not that he ever did, but rather than ignoring his behavior and brushing it under the rug with excuses about the kid’s fucked up childhood, he promised himself he’d face this moment head on. Shoulders squared, he yanked the front door, but it didn’t budge.

  “Hell.”

  Of course it would be locked. He hadn’t been alone since the incident with Garet, and he found himself looking over his shoulder. While he wasn’t afraid, exactly, the sensation made him long for the guys inside...for Lawson.

  Looking around, he didn’t see a bell, so he rapped a few times on the glass. Stood back and waited a minute, then rapped again. When, after three attempts, nobody answered, his insides twisted. Telling himself to chill the fuck out he trotted around to the fire escape at the back and climbed to the third floor. Probably Reed and Curtis were up there and couldn’t hear him knock. Sure enough, his fist pounding on the metal door got results.

  Reed poked his head out, his expression turning from wary to mildly irritated when he saw Matt standing there. “Why didn’t you use your key?”

  Matt mentally face-palmed, fishing in his pocket for the set of keys Lawson had given him. Had it only been the night before? It felt like a fucking lifetime.

  “I don’t have the one for the bar.” He slipped past Reed, who held the door open for him. “Where’s Garet?”

  “In his room.” Reed jerked his head toward Curtis’s door on his way by. “I can’t talk to him right now because I gotta get the bar ready and cool down from this shit.”

  Matt nodded. “Thanks man, I’m really sorry.”

  Poised at the top of the stairs, Reed turned. “Not your fault, and you say it is again, I’m gonna go Lawson on your ass.”

  “Got it.” Matt attempted a smile that probably looked more like a grimace and Reed nodded once before thudding down the stairs.

  Inside Curtis’s apartment, Matt looked around. He’d only been gone twenty-four hours, but it felt like another lifetime. Curtis’s couch was nice, a dark blue plush number that felt great to sink into. The coffee table wouldn’t get messed up if you put your feet on it, and the kitchen had a lived-in feel. Rooms had been drywalled in and the windows on this side of the building overlooked a slice of the park. Sunlight flooded in, making the space inviting, like Curtis. Sure, he was a pain in the ass, but he almost always had a smile on his face.

  Raised voices from the direction of Garet’s bedroom said that now was not one of those times.

  Sighing, Matt pushed his hands through his hair and rapped on Garet’s door.

  “Come in, before I give in to temptation to strangle your brother.” Curtis looked up from where he perched on one of the wide windowsills and glowered.

  Garet, who sat cross-legged in the middle of his bed holding a sheet of yellow lined paper, glared at Curtis and then at Matt. “Tell him he’s not the boss of me.”

  The demand made Matt blink. “Well, obviously someone’s got to be, because you’re doing a crap job of it.”

  He looked at Curtis, who gave him an are we actually on the same side brow lift, and nodded. Matt was so grateful to have the help, he wouldn’t have cared if Curtis had Garet building a set of stocks for himself in the front parking lot.

  Matt leaned against the door frame and folded his arms. “Want to catch me up?”

  “That—” Curtis pointed at the paper Garet scowled at, “—is his list of chores, his schedule, and the rules of the house, so to speak. He’s going to sign it and I’m going to post it on the fridge. So there are no—”

  Garet swore, falling back on his bed, one arm over his face.

  Curtis shot Garet a look and continued. “So there are no arguments or misunderstandings.”

  Catching writing on the back, Matt tried to peer closer, but couldn’t make out the print. “What’s on the other side?”

  A perfectly evil smile widened Curtis’s mouth. “Oh, that. That’s the list of the things that will happen if he breaks the rules.”

  Matt whistled mentally, not daring to do so out loud. It’d only make Garet think he had leverage to fight back.

  “As a matter of fact, why don’t I leave you two alone. Cuz there’s something on his to-do list that Garet can cross off right now...before we get to those penalties he earned.”

  Brows lifted, eyes wide, Matt stepped back to let Curtis pass. Wow. Okay. He wasn’t sure if this was how parenting was supposed to work. Hell, he’d only had a punch in the mouth or a belt to keep him in line. He’d vowed never to lay a hand on Garet, but apparently there were invisible boundaries that might keep the kid in check. This was the least argument Matt had seen out of his brother in a confrontation since, well, since ever.

  Closing the door behind him, Matt moved to the end of the bed and sat. Garet hiked up his knees, making room, but didn’t sit up or take his arm off his face.

  “Thanks for coming back.” It had to have taken guts, knowing he was going to face the music, and Matt wanted to give Garet credit. “You really worried me.”

  “Whatever.” Garet’s arm muffled his voice.

  Matt put a hand on Garet’s ankle, keeping it there when Garet didn’t jerk away. “Wanna tell me why you ran off?”

  “Not really.”

  He had to give the kid points for honesty. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me. I thought it’d just get in the way of you figuring yourself out.”

  Garet’s arm slid off his face, and he gave Matt the stink eye. “You think this is about who you fuck?”

  “Jesus, Garet.” Matt drew in a breath, willing himself not to freak out. “I don’t know, alright? All I know is you saw me kissing Lawson and you took off with Ezran. Clue me in here?”

  Swiping at his face, Garet dug his heels into the bed and pushed to a sitting position against the headboard. “I’m fine now. Curtis explained. I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” Matt frowned, adjusting his position so he faced Garet.
“For running off?”

  Garet shook his head and stared down at his list. Blond hair fell over his forehead, catching the sunlight. He pushed it back and muttered “Can’t I just apologize? The list doesn’t say anything about having to say why I left.”

  Matt pulled the paper away from him and set it aside. “This is about you and me bro, not the list. I want to know what upset you.”

  “Because, I thought I—” Garet jabbed his thumb at his chest. “—made you do it.”

  “Do what?” Matt couldn’t help breathing out a laugh. “I didn’t see you there holding a gun to my head.” Not that he’d have noticed, as engrossed as he was in the feel of Lawson’s mouth and hands on his skin.

  “By getting in with the gang and making us leave our house.” Swiping his nose with his sleeve, Garet looked around the bedroom that Curtis had given him. It was a really nice room, nicer than either of them had ever had. “I like it here, but I didn’t want you to have to do the things you’d managed not to do when you were on the streets to keep us here. To fix everything I screwed up.”

  Matt forced himself not to speak while Garet got the words out. When he was sure Garet was finished, he leaned forward, grabbed the kid, and pulled him in for a bone crushing hug. He couldn’t remember ever doing it before, but words failed him, and it was the only way to say everything he wanted without becoming an incoherent mess. Garet stiffened, but then his arms crept up.

  “So.” Clearing his throat, Matt scooted back. “I can safely promise never to pimp myself out, because believe it or not for a stud like me, there are lots of other options.”

  Garet snorted, rolling his eyes. “Sure, bro. Whatevs.”

  Matt grinned back, then sobered, his gaze falling on the list. He jutted his chin at the paper. “What terrible things is Curtis making you do for scaring the shit out of everyone here?”

  “About a million fucking years of chores and some stupid lines, and handwritten letters of apology…” Garet’s shoulders slumped. The kid looked resigned, but not defeated. “And I’m fucking grounded.”