by Tanya Bird
‘While I am not one to keep score’—he looked between Mila and Nerva—‘you are both now severely indebted to me.’
‘I’ve saved your arse enough times,’ Remus said.
‘I was not talking to you.’
Nerva clapped the dwarf on the shoulder. ‘Like I said, I shall not forget it.’
‘We all have your back,’ Mila said. ‘I am just sorry it ends with Brei gone.’
‘Well, that is life,’ Nerva said, hardly believing those words actually came from his mouth. He was fooling no one with his detached facade.
Felix looked around. ‘This is the part where someone tells him there are plenty of fish in the sea.’
‘I am familiar with the saying,’ Nerva replied. He knew Brei was no common fish. She had set his life ablaze. Theirs was that rare type of love that tore souls to shreds, even if neither of them had ever admitted it aloud.
Mila stepped forwards and patted his chest. ‘I wish we could offer more than bad jokes right now.’
‘Not sure I could handle anything more than bad jokes right now.’ He tried to smile, then turned away. ‘I will see you tomorrow.’
Chapter 35
Light blinded Brei as she was pulled up through the hole into daylight.
‘Hands,’ the guard said.
She held out her arms as she took in the faces of the other prisoners around her. Judging by their expressions, they were all headed to the same execution. The guard secured her wrists with irons that weighed down her wasting arms.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked as he jerked the shackles.
He moved to the next prisoner. ‘You wanted to fight. Now’s your chance.’ The guards exchanged a smirk.
‘And who am I fighting?’
He shoved her to get her moving. ‘Wild beasts with a taste for human blood.’
Her heart thudded in her ears as they were ushered through the comitium. The city must have been celebrating a festival, because there was a procession moving through the forum. People lined the streets; the cheering and clapping was deafening. The applause stopped when the prisoners came into view, turning to boos and insults. People spat in their direction as they passed. Some of the prisoners looked down while others wept. A few begged the crowd for mercy, as if that would somehow change their fates. Brei looked straight at them. Perhaps if they knew her story, they would weep alongside her instead.
Brei’s eyes moved between each face, looking for something—or someone. Did she really think Nerva would be standing among the plebeians watching the procession? He might have already left the city with her mother. Or maybe her mother had come after her and been caught. Paulus Cordius might have learned of her existence and planned on surprising Brei by dropping her into the pit also.
Her toe caught the edge of a paving stone, and she stumbled.
‘Keep moving,’ shouted the guard, yanking her upright.
The Flavian Amphitheatre rose in front of them. She had never been inside, despite wanting to see what all the fuss was about. Nerva had told her not to go.
‘You do not need more reasons to hate this city,’ he had said.
And she had stayed away.
The prisoners entered the amphitheatre through a separate corridor and disappeared into a maze of underground tunnels. Brei tried to keep track of the turns but was distracted by the caged animals that hissed and growled as they passed. Claws and teeth snapped between the bars, making the prisoners jump. Some of the animals Brei did not recognise: striped horses and cats with paws as large as a man’s head. Others she could not make out at all, glimpsing only glowing eyes and heavily shadowed figures. Finally, they came to a stop.
‘Four in each cell,’ one of the guards instructed.
Brei was locked up with three other prisoners from Mamertine. One man slid to the floor, his head in his hands. Another prayed. The woman sat expressionless against the wall in a pool of her own urine. Brei remained standing, forcing herself to breathe. Falling apart would not change the outcome, so instead of fear, she chose to let in the anger she had shut out all week.
Where is Nerva?
He had spared her life countless times. Now he was letting her die in the most horrendous way the Romans could come up with. Her hands curled into fists at her sides. What better person to be angry at than the man responsible?
Bang.
‘On your feet, the lot of you,’ shouted a guard, pounding on the iron bars behind Brei.
When she turned to look in his direction, she was surprised to see Gallus, Felix, and Albaus standing with him. The slightest shake of Felix’s head wiped the surprise off her face.
‘We have a very funny performance planned,’ Gallus was saying to the guard. ‘We just require a few extra props.’
Brei’s pulse was racing, but she was careful not to let her feelings show on her face.
Gallus nodded towards the door. ‘Go on, then. Open up. No one will get far with my friend here.’ He nodded in the direction of Albaus, whose head was tilted to prevent it from hitting the low roof.
The guard hesitated before stepping forwards to unlock the door. ‘Don’t get any clever ideas,’ he warned the prisoners as Gallus and Felix stepped inside.
Felix crossed his arms and looked them all over for a moment. ‘Which ones are most likely to survive until the climax, do you suppose?’ He looked up at Gallus, waiting for an answer.
‘Probably none. Perhaps we should look elsewhere.’
‘I do not like our chances at short notice. Why must prisoners die at the most inopportune times?’
Gallus nodded in agreement. ‘Perhaps we should take all four to be safe.’
Albaus grunted and looked off down the corridor. Above them, gladiators were already fighting, their movements sending dust floating down on them.
‘I agree,’ Felix said. ‘And we might need slower beasts for that particular part.’
Gallus turned to the guard. ‘We shall take all four. I will need their shackles removed.’
‘Removed? It is safer to—’
‘How about you leave stage direction to those with some skill, eh?’ Gallus waved his hand. ‘Come now. The show must go on.’
The guard hesitated before approaching the prisoners and removing their irons. When he got to Brei, he winked and said, ‘Enjoy the show.’
She looked down at her feet so he could not read her expression.
‘Come along,’ Gallus said. ‘Form a line and follow me.’
‘Keep an eye on that one,’ the guard called, gesturing to Brei.
Albaus dragged her to the back of the line using far more force than was necessary, earning another grin from the guard. Brei stared at the man’s head in front of her. Albaus shoved her into motion when the line began to move.
They walked through the orange flickering light of torches. More turns, more tunnels. Brei had no idea what direction they were travelling in. Nothing looked familiar. They turned another corner, and a pair of hands reached out from a dark nook, pulling Brei into the shadows. A hand went over her mouth.
It took all of her willpower not to push it away. Albaus continued forwards without breaking stride, confirming that it was part of the plan. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Mila’s face came into view. She brought a finger to her lips, waited a moment, and then slowly removed her hand from Brei’s mouth. For Nerva to put his own sister at risk spoke volumes.
Brei kept quiet as Mila unbelted her tunic and tugged it over her head. Underneath it was an identical tunic, belted in the same way as the one she had just removed. She gestured for Brei to dress, then reached beneath her tunic, pulling out a pair of leather sandals which she placed at Brei’s feet. When she was dressed, Mila reached down and picked up two ceramic jugs, handing one to Brei.
‘Wash your face,’ Mila whispered.
Brei poured a small amount of water into her hand and rubbed it over her grimy face, careful not to dirty the clean tunic.
‘Stay behind me,’ Mila said in
to Brei’s ear. ‘Do not speak. Do not look the guards in the eye.’ With that, she stepped out into the tunnel and walked calmly in the opposite direction. She clearly knew her way around the tunnels, because she turned corners that Brei would have otherwise missed. Eventually they entered a passage lit by natural light. At the far end was a closed door with armed guards standing either side of it. Brei was sure the men would notice her heart beating through the fabric of her tunic. She did exactly what she was told, eyes down and completely silent. Her heart reached a frantic thrum as the door opened in front of them. She was certain her appearance would give her away. Her legs and feet were filthy, and one toenail was bleeding. Never had she looked so much like a prisoner. She lowered her head farther so that her matted hair fell over her face. Her vision blurred, and the small amount of water in the bottom of the jug was sloshing in her unsteady hands.
When she reached the guards, one of them grabbed her arm. She immediately stilled. Mila stopped also, but she did not turn back or say anything.
Breathe.
A hand landed on Brei’s backside with a sting, and then the guard gave it a squeeze.
‘I’ll come find you later,’ he said.
The moment he let go of her arm, she kept walking, matching Mila’s pace. She continued to stare at the ground in front of her until they reached another large tunnel. Mila looked in both directions before stepping inside. Only then did she turn to Brei.
‘Go to the very end. I am going to wait here and ensure no one follows.’ She pulled Brei to her with her free hand, hugging her close. ‘Hurry, but do not run.’ With that, Mila gave her a gentle shove to get her moving.
Brei knew it was the last time she would ever see Nerva’s sister. There were so many things she had wanted to say, like ‘thank you for giving me a family when I had no one’.
‘Go,’ Mila said.
Brei nodded and turned away. Her legs moved automatically, ears straining as she listened for approaching footsteps. She made it all the way without running into anyone, but new panic surged as she approached the end of the tunnel. Where was she supposed to go from there?
A figure stepped into the light just as she reached the end, causing her to suck in a breath. It took her a moment to register Remus.
‘This way.’ He gestured for her to keep moving. ‘Stay a few paces behind me.’ He spoke without looking back at her.
She did as she was told while sneaking glances at her surroundings, taking in the barracks and training area. Men walked around carrying various weapons or stood talking beneath the portico. She realised where she was then. There was a tunnel that joined the Flavian Amphitheatre to Ludus Magnus, the gladiator school where Remus had been raised. They made it all the way to the front gate with just a few disinterested glances in Brei’s direction. The guard at the entrance nodded at Remus before opening the gate. He did not ask any questions as she followed him through.
Once outside, Brei looked both ways down the street and spotted a plainly dressed Marcus seated on a horse across the road. Nerva was not with him. She realised then that she might never see him again. He had done all this to see her free, and she would not even get the chance to say thank you.
‘Go,’ Remus said, touching her shoulder.
When Brei looked up at him, he gave a small nod of encouragement.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered before stepping out onto the street.
When she reached Marcus, he offered his hand. She took hold of it and swung herself up onto the horse behind him. ‘Where’s my mother?’
He pushed the horse into a walk, then looked around before replying. ‘Waiting for you.’
She nodded and fell silent.
When they were some distance from Ludus Magnus, Marcus passed a bag to her. Inside were a waterskin, food, and a palla. Nerva had thought of everything. Brei thanked Marcus, then took out the waterskin, drinking greedily. She used a small amount of water to wash her hands and face, shuddering as the cold liquid ran down her neck and soaked into her tunic. Pulling out the palla, she wrapped it around her shoulders.
‘Eat,’ Marcus said. ‘Even if you’re not hungry.’
She took out the small parcel of bread, hard cheese, and some dried pear, eating slowly. ‘Are we going to the river?’
‘Yes’ was his only reply.
She had more questions, but he was focused on other things at that moment. His rigid body language suggested he was prepared for trouble.
They descended a slope towards the water where a small boat waited for them. Her mother was already inside. Brei saw the relief on her face when she spotted the horse approaching. Brei looked both ways down the river. Nerva was not there. It was not safe for him to be involved. If there was one day Paulus Cordius would be watching him, it would be the day of her execution.
A boy walked up to meet them. He helped Brei down, then went to take the horse.
‘We must keep moving,’ Marcus said as he joined her on the ground. ‘The ship will not wait.’
Brei looked behind her, disappointment bitter in her mouth, then turned and headed for the boat.
Chapter 36
The women ate and slept on the boat, taking turns with Marcus to watch the busy river. Brei had been rescued from the jaws of death, found her mother, whom she had long thought dead, and was on her way home to be reunited with the rest of her family. There was so much to be thankful for, but it was impossible to appreciate just yet. They would not be safe until they passed through Hadrian’s Wall.
‘You’ve barely said two words since leaving Rome,’ Keelia said on day two of their journey. ‘You watch those trees like you’re expecting someone to run through them.’
Brei dragged her gaze from the riverbank to look at her mother. ‘What if Cordius finds out I didn’t die in that arena?’
‘How?’
‘When he didn’t see me die, maybe?’
‘You heard Marcus. Those types of executions are so chaotic no one can tell who is who.’ Keelia sighed. ‘But Cordius isn’t the reason you cry when you think I’m asleep.’
She had never been a crier before him. ‘It’s been a big couple of weeks.’
They watched the sun slip behind the horizon. The clouds had lifted for the journey.
‘You don’t always have to be brave for my sake.’
Brei turned away so her mother would not see her fighting back tears. ‘I wish I could turn it off,’ she whispered.
Keelia reached out and took her hand. ‘I see why you care for him.’ She hesitated. ‘But he did the right thing for both of you. It might not feel that way, but you belong with your family, not in that place.’
She refused to cry in front of her mother. ‘I understand the logic.’
‘And yet you wait for him.’
She swallowed. ‘Sometimes home isn’t a place but a feeling.’
Keelia pulled her daughter to her. ‘I’m sorry. I really am.’ Her arms wrapped her tightly. ‘You know, I always wondered what sort of man you would fall in love with. I started to wonder if there was anyone in those mountains who could handle a woman like you.’
‘You make me sound like a wild horse.’
Keelia smiled. ‘You’re a handful. Always have been.’
‘I get that from you.’
Her mother laughed. ‘You are ten times fiercer than me. Who would have guessed you would fall for a man like Nerva?’
‘You mean a Roman?’
‘No, someone gentle.’ She stopped speaking as a boat passed by headed in the opposite direction. ‘While I’m sorry you return home with your heart in pieces, I’m so grateful that we’re returning home at all.’
Brei closed her eyes. ‘I never told him how I felt. I can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I suppose I was trying to protect us.’
‘Nerva is a smart man. He didn’t need words to know how you feel. Did he ever tell you how he felt?’
Brei shook her head, and a tear ran down the side of her face and into her
hair. ‘I’m a smart woman. I didn’t need words to know how he felt.’ She smiled, but it faded quickly.
The merchant ship was being loaded with grain and other supplies that would be taken to Britannia. Both uniformed and plain-dressed men swarmed the port of Ostia Antica, making the women nervous.
‘Should we board?’ Keelia asked, growing more anxious by the second.
Marcus shook his head. ‘Soon. They need to finish loading supplies before boarding passengers.’
Keelia fell quiet again, hugging her bag to her chest.
Brei was waiting for Paulus Cordius to show up, to glimpse his smug expression amid the crowd. He would drag her back to Rome, execute her himself—she was sure of it. She could not relax. Every face was beginning to look like his. She kept glancing around, her mother’s tense state feeding her own.
‘I think they’ve finished,’ Keelia said, looking to Marcus with a hopeful expression.
He gave her a tight smile. ‘Not too much longer.’ His gaze swept the dock again.
Perhaps he was expecting Paulus also. Brei shifted her bag from one hand to the other, checked behind her, right, left. A familiar figure caught her attention, and she narrowed her eyes on the man. She sucked in a breath.
‘What’s the matter?’ her mother asked, panic in her voice.
Marcus took a step forwards, then relaxed. ‘I wasn’t sure if he would make it.’
Nerva stood at the far end of the dock. He was searching for someone. Searching for her. She could tell by the way his expression softened when he found her.
The bag fell from Brei’s hand. Without thinking, she took off at a run towards him. Behind her, Keelia made a startled noise, and Marcus told her not to run. It was not the most sensible thing to do while trying to keep a low profile, but there was no stopping her feet. She watched the emotion play out on Nerva’s face as she got closer. When she reached him, she grabbed hold of his stubbly face with both hands, pressing her forehead to his. He took hold of her arms, gripping her too hard.
‘You came,’ she said, slightly breathless. ‘Tell me you’re coming with us.’ When he shook his head, something in her chest tore. It was as though his hands were wrapping her throat suddenly. ‘Come with us.’
