The Reluctant Suitor

by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss

  Adriana hurried in one direction, but decided forthwith that she was not on the right bearing. Whirling, she ran past the door of her husband’s chambers and went up a flight of stairs that took her to the third level. It was a part of the mansion that she hadn’t been in since her childhood. It was an older section and had always seemed rather dark and forbidding, even ghostly at times, tempting Samantha and her to test each other’s courage by hiding out in its many nooks and crannies, forcing the seeker to follow, cautiously at best.

  The wailing grew louder, leading Adriana on nearly at a sprint. When finally she reached the room from which the harsh sobbing drifted, she found the door standing ajar and a shaft of light streaming from the narrow opening into the wide hall. Laying a hand upon the barrier, she pushed it carefully inward just enough to allow her to peer inward without being seen.

  The first thing that came into view was Alice Cobble, sitting in the middle of the bed with her back braced against the heavily carved Jacobean headboard. In one hand, she held a crystal decanter, from which she literally sipped. A lamp burned on the table beside her, and in its radiance the griminess of her nightgown was clearly apparent. The garment hung open over one large-nippled, blue-veined mound, and was so old and rotten it had become all but transparent, no doubt due to its filthy state, Adriana surmised. That was hardly the most pronounced cause for her lack of modesty, however, for her nightgown had been hiked up to her thighs and she lay with one leg bent and the other widespread.

  Adriana didn’t dare let herself imagine what the woman had been doing or just whose attention she had been trying to attract. Even so, it was not hard to imagine the hag’s predilections were of the vilest sort.

  Alice cackled suddenly, wrenching a start from Adriana. “ ’Ere ’ey was, ‘is lor’ship an’ ‘is missus, lookin’ likes ’ey couldn’t be parted for all the wool in Bradford . . . ‘at is, ‘til I comes ‘pon ’em wit’ the chit.” The crone smirked gleefully. “Aye, I planned it real good, I did. ’Eir ’eads is likely still aspinnin’. Humph, serves ’em right for wantin’ ta gets rid o’ me. O’ course, ‘twouldn’t be too long aftah ’ey did ‘at ‘is lor’ship would figger out jes’ what I’d been doin’ ‘hind ‘is back. Then ’ere’d be ’ell ta pay, sure as I’m adrinkin’ ‘is port. An’ then ’e’ll be askin’ questions, wantin’ ta knows what’s goin’ on. ‘Tis only a matter o’ time afore ’e figgers out ’e’s been tricked. Missus ‘Igh an’ ‘Aughty ain’t gonna waits forever. No, sir, she ain’t! ‘Bout ‘at time, ‘is lor’ship an’ ‘is missus is gonna knows ’ell’s done come up from the depths.”

  “What’s the meaning of this outrage?” Adriana demanded, pushing the door wide as she stalked inward. The baby’s wails had grown harsher, and although she had listened to the hag’s inane gibberish in an effort to discern what she was talking to herself about, Adriana couldn’t ignore the child’s needs any longer. She went directly to the crone’s bedside and was repulsed by the fact that Alice made no attempt to cover her own nakedness. “You were hired to nurse and take care of the child. Instead, she’s howling from neglect and there you are, sipping my husband’s port. Pack up your belongings and get out . . . immediately!”

  “An’ jes’ ‘oo’s gonna nurse the brat?” the woman challenged with a confident, black, snaggletoothed grin. She swung her legs off the mattress, but, in making an attempt to rise, stumbled over her own filth-crusted feet and listed heavily to the side, much like an old tar upon a storm-tossed ship. When finally she came up hard against an armoire, she grinned back at Adriana with a confident leer. “Yu wouldn’t dare let me go, missy. Why, the chit’d starve.”

  “She’s starving now, and yet you’re so deep into your cups you haven’t even noticed. If need be, I’ll soothe her with a sugar-tit until we can find a woman who’ll at least nurse her until another can be employed full time. In the interim, I want you gone from here.”

  “Mayhap yu’d better ask ‘is lor’ship afores yu sends me packin’, missy. ’E jes’ might resent yu layin’ the law down ta me.”

  “My wife has told you to leave,” Colton barked as he strode inward, garbed in a long, velvet robe and leather slippers. “And that’s exactly what I want you to do. In fact, you can get out of my sight ere the hour is past. The stableboy can hitch up a cart and take you as far as Bradford. From there, you’ll have to make your own way to London or wherever it is you’ll be going, just as long as it’s far from here.”

  “Yu owes me wages, yu do!” Alice railed back and then elevated a brow as she peered askance, curiously eyeing the younger woman as she hurried across the room to the baby’s crib. When Adriana lifted the tiny girl and cuddled her closely against her, a derisive sneer drew up the hag’s upper lip. She didn’t hold with spoiling a chit. They were better off learning at an early age that their wailing wouldn’t get them what they wanted in life, but that would hardly be her affair anymore if his lordship did indeed intend to let her go. What was her concern was getting her just due, and for that, Alice was willing to do more than a little ranting and railing. Turning upon his lordship again, she lifted a clenched fist and shook it at him threateningly. “I ain’ts leavin’ ’ere ‘til I gets what’s comin’ ta me.”

  “And that may be more than you bargained for, hag,” Colton retorted acidly. “A boot in the rear would likely serve you a fit recompense.”

  The shrew squawked and, turning about-face, flipped up the tail of her nightgown as she bent over and waggled her bare backside at him, cackling in glee as she snatched a shocked gasp from Adriana. For good measure, she made a foul gesture between her legs. “Come on, lovey. Puts yur poker in ’ere so’s yur missus can sees hows it’s really done.”

  “On second thought, you’ll get no wages,” Colton barked sharply, thoroughly incensed. His comment brought the woman around with a raging snarl that displayed her foul, decaying teeth. Undeterred, he jeered into her murderous glare. “You just used up what was left of them. The liberty you took with my port could’ve been waived, but your latest infraction cost you the full sum.”

  Alice shrieked and shook a grimy fist at him. “ ’Ere yu are, rich as all get out, an’ yu begrudge me a li’l prank.”

  “Serves you right for being so despicably vulgar and letting the child go without proper care and nourishment while you’ve been in here poking yourself and guzzling down my port,” Colton shot back in heightening ire.

  He recognized the extent of his own indignation when he realized he was literally shaking with rage. His hands were clenched into hard-knuckled fists, and his stomach, which had knotted in revulsion over what he had just seen, began to twist and churn. In an effort to calm himself, he slowly exhaled, and glanced aside at Adriana who was clasping his daughter closely against her bosom as she strolled toward him. Her soft cooing and gentle cajoling was closely reminiscent of that which he had heard from past times when she had been inclined to nurture orphaned or wounded animals. For a brief moment, the squalling ceased as the child rooted eagerly at a softly rounded breast. Alas, no nourishing nipple could be found through the dressing gown, and once again the baby started thrashing her tiny fists in outrage.

  “Poor little darling,” Adriana murmured in caring, sympathetic tones. “We’ll see you fed ere long. That much I promise you, Genevieve Ariella.”

  “Genevieve Ariella?” Colton repeated with a bemused smile, drawing a hesitant glance from his wife.

  “Your mother said she liked the name, but if you’d prefer another, I’m sure she wouldn’t be offended.”

  Smiling, he reached up a hand and lovingly smoothed his wife’s tousled tresses as she leaned into him. Her soft, gentle ways did much to banish the fury raging within him, and he couldn’t resist lifting her small chin and placing a soft kiss upon her winsome lips. “ ‘Tis a good name, my love, one that will likely suit her. As for you, madam, you look quite motherly holding the babe. We should think about having a houseful.”

  Once again, Alice lifted her lip in a ridiculing
sneer. “Yu bloody bastard, ‘twould serve yu proper if’n yu ain’ts gots any seeds in yur coffer.”

  Colton laughed harshly as he bestowed a disdaining sneer upon the woman. “ ‘Twould seem I’ve already put that question to rest. . . .”

  Scathingly Alice swept her eyes over him. “ ‘Twouldn’t surprise me none in the least if’n Miss Pandora filled yur ears wit’ rot.”

  Canting his head quizzically, Colton peered at the woman. “Are you telling me that Pandora tricked me into thinking the girl is mine?”

  Avoiding his probing stare, Alice cut her eyes aslant and shrugged noncommittally. “Much as I’d cackle in glee ta knows yur cods be all dried up, I guess ’ey ain’t, seein’s as how yu put yur family mark on the babe’s arse. Jes’ sayin’ ‘twould serve a bloke like yu ‘is proper due if’n yu can’ts make no mo’ brats wit’ yur fine an’ proper liedy so’s yur family name can be carried on. I been hearin’ some o’ yur servants talkin’ amongst themselves ’bout ‘ow’s yu’re the last male in yur family.”

  As much as Adriana had considered waiting to announce her child-bearing state to her husband, she couldn’t resist frustrating the hag’s mean-spirited aspirations. “No need for you to leave here foolishly hoping that is the case, Alice,” she chided, causing both Colton and the ogress to look at her in mounting confusion. “I am already with child.”

  A joyous cry erupted from Colton, drowning out the woman’s foul curse. For good measure, he laid an arm about Adriana’s shoulders again and brought her close for another kiss, this time with open mouth and probing tongue.

  “Colton, for shame,” Adriana chided, blushing at his display of fervor. Still, she had trouble curbing a pleased smile as her fingertips stroked dry the sweet dew of passion lingering on her lips. “What will Alice think?”

  “Alice bedamned, madam. This is my ancestral home, and you’re my wife. You’re carrying my child in your womb and holding another close against your heart. At this moment, I can’t possibly imagine how I could love you more than I do right now or, for that matter, have loved you since the dawning of time.”

  As much as another kiss from her husband pleased Adriana, it failed to satisfy the baby. Withdrawing from Colton with a radiant smile, she murmured, “I must go down now and wake Cook. I do so hope she knows how to prepare a sugar-tit for Genevieve.”

  “Couldn’t regular cow’s milk be warmed and given in the same fashion as a sugar-tit?” Colton asked.

  “ ‘Twill give the chit runs,” Alice volunteered caustically, stripping her plump, blue-veined body bare, once again thoroughly scandalizing Adriana who stared at her agog. The hag scratched her private parts shamelessly, making the younger woman spin about with a mortified groan, a reaction that drew cackles of glee from the crone. “What’s the matter, lovey, yu wants ta do it fo’ me?”

  “Get some clothes on, you old scold!” Colton roared, once again feeling his temper rising. “You’re disgusting enough with your clothes on, but you’re damned revolting without them—”

  “Likes I was sayin’,” Alice interrupted caustically, lifting an upper lip to sneer at his lordship again. “The li’l tike’ll likely starve afore yu finds ‘nother wet nurse.” Just the same, she complied with his command by waggling her hips into a skirt, not caring how much she set her flabby stomach rippling and her mountainous bosom swaying with her movements. After yanking a dowdy top over the heavy melons, she chortled as she heckled Adriana. “Yu can turns yurself ’round now, yur liedyship, but yu’d best keep it in mind, yu ain’t gonna be lookin’ no better’n me several months from now.”

  Colton arched a brow incredulously. “You really can’t be serious, ol’ hag. Or are you so blind to your own hideousness that you have the gall to compare yourself to one who, in my estimation, is nigh perfect?”

  Snarling epithets to herself, Alice bundled her few clothes together and tied them in a large shawl. Facing the couple, she offered a jeering conjecture. “So’s, yu’ve made up yur minds, eh? Yu’re gonna let the chit starve. Don’t says I didn’t warn yu.”

  Colton met his wife’s gaze worriedly and realized they were both suffering the same qualms. Yet he dared not suggest delaying the woman, for there was no guarantee she wouldn’t take out her spite on his daughter. “We’ll find another, my love,” he said, trying to comfort his wife. “I’m sure the servants know of a woman in the village who’ll at least suckle Genevieve until a more permanent wet nurse can be engaged.”

  “So’s her own babes can starve?” Alice inquired caustically and then curled her lip in derision. “ ‘Tain’t likely.”

  “Nevertheless, we’ll find someone who’ll be willing,” Colton stated resolutely.

  “I’m sure you’ll want to see Alice sent on her way posthaste,” Adriana responded, briefly bestowing a cold, withering stare upon the hag. Alice was the coarsest creature she had ever come across in her entire life, and she just couldn’t bear the idea of the woman staying another moment in a home that had never known such depravity. Her eyes immediately softened with love as she looked back at her handsome husband. “I’m going to ask your mother’s advice. She’ll be able to tell us what we should do.”

  Moments later, Adriana and Philana were hurrying down the main stairs when the sounds of a carriage halting before the manor aroused their curiosity. Philana ran at once to a front window and, peering out through the moonlit darkness, espied the glowing lanterns of the landau that had come to a halt in the drive below the stone steps. The manly figure standing at the open door of the conveyance was unmistakable, and in elated surprise she spun about to face her daughter-in-law. “Alistair is here, dear, and he’s helping a young woman out of his carriage. That can only mean one thing!”

  Both women hastened to the front portal and in their eagerness suffered a bit of confusion over which one would actually draw open the door. With a joyous laugh, Philana finally took care of the matter herself since Adriana was trying her best to placate the furiously squalling baby. Nearly ecstatic with relief, the elder yanked open the heavy portal so quickly that she caught her brother standing before the door with a fist suspended in midair.

  For Alistair, the hardest part seemed to be recovering his aplomb with his jaw hanging aslack with surprise. In the following moment he reclaimed enough of his wits to close his mouth. Straightening his coat, he managed to assume a more lofty air as he strolled inward. Very proud of himself, he bragged, “Efficient as always I am. Mathilda found a wet nurse for you in Bath, and I took the liberty of transporting the young woman directly here in case you were desperate.” He cringed slightly at the volume reached by the screaming youngster, and then cleared his throat. “Yes, well, ‘twould seem the young lady and I have arrived in the nick of time, eh what?”

  “Uncle Alistair, you’re such a dear, dear man,” Adriana exclaimed happily and gave him an enthusiastic, one-armed hug. “Please do bring the woman in. The baby is starving!”

  “This is Mrs. Blythe Fulton,” the man announced a moment later as he ushered the woman into the vestibule. “Her husband was killed at Waterloo. Only a pair of days ago, she gave birth to a stillborn. Although I understand little of these matters, Mathilda has assured me that Mrs. Fulton is most anxious to find work as a wet nurse and to obtain relief, not only from her serious lack of funds, but from her . . . ah . . . ah . . . painful condition.”

  Philana offered a conjecture as she faced her daughter-in-law. “Mrs. Fulton will no doubt want some privacy, dear. As much time as it’s taking for my son to rout Alice from her room, I wonder if she’s proving difficult. Do you think we should ensconce Mrs. Fulton in a room downstairs for the moment or dare we show her to her bedchamber upstairs? I had servants freshen the sheets and linens in the room across the hall from Alice’s, just in case we were fortunate enough to find someone. I even had Samantha’s old crib moved in there.”

  “Colton’s chore in ousting Alice is definitely not one I envy, Mama Philana, but we shouldn’t let that woman’s presence dictate w
hat we do for her replacement. Mrs. Fulton would likely be more comfortable if she were settled immediately into rooms of her own. Why don’t I take her upstairs to the chamber you readied? The sooner she can nurse the baby, the better we will all feel.”

  The two younger women were just approaching the stairs leading to the upper floor when Alice’s harping tones all but drowned out the baby’s wailing.

  “As much as I’ve looked ‘igh an’ low for it, I still can’t finds me gold ring,” she complained as she stalked out of her room. Half-turning to direct her comments to Colton, who followed upon her heels, she insisted, “Yu’re gonna haf ta makes good me loss, do yu ’ear? Me po’ dead husband give me the ring aftah ‘is ma passed on.”

  “If ever you had one,” Colton retorted, highly skeptical of the idea that the unruly hag had ever had a gold ring or a husband.

  “I ain’t leavin’ ’ere wit’out h’it, no I ain’t!” Alice declared, setting her jaw with stubborn tenacity. When she heard hurrying footsteps on the stairs and the infant’s squalling coming nearer, she tossed a triumphant smirk back at Colton. “Maybes I ain’ts leavin’ ’ere, aftah all.”

  “You’re wrong there, Alice,” Adriana interjected from the stairs as she came into view of her husband and the shrew. “You will be leaving, posthaste in fact. We’ve been fortunate enough to find and hire a wet nurse for Genevieve this very hour.”

  Colton felt his own jaw sagging in astonishment and was so curious he had no time to rejoice at Alice’s look of stunned disbelief. “How in the world did you manage that, madam?”

  Adriana smiled smugly. “Uncle Alistair came to our rescue again, my love. Even as late as it was, your uncle made the trip from Bath to bring us Mrs. Fulton . . . just when we needed her most.”

  Adriana gently rocked the baby in her arms, trying to soothe her some small whit as she settled a bland stare upon Alice. “ ‘Tis doubtful that you and Mrs. Fulton will ever meet again, so I shan’t bother introducing you. I shall, however, wish you a speedy journey from Bradford since I’m rather fond of the vast majority of its inhabitants.”