Accidentally All Of Me

by Parker, Ali

  She got out of the truck, and Winnie headed over toward her at once to give her a tight hug. I smiled as the two of them greeted each other. It was hard to believe that Raina had only been a part of my life for a few months, not when just having her around made me feel like everything was brighter and lighter by comparison.

  “How are you guys doing?” she asked.

  I reached her and pulled her into a tight hug. I wished I could have had something cogent to say, but my brain wasn’t exactly working on those terms in that moment.

  “Glad to see you,” I murmured to her, and I meant it. I couldn’t have been happier to lay eyes on her. “I love you,” I told her, without thinking.

  “I love you too,” she replied, and she leaned her head against mine, closed her eyes, and let out a long sigh like she could hardly believe that I was actually here again. Me neither, if I was being honest. There had come a point where time in that hospital had started to distort, and I had been sure that I was losing my mind because I was never going to get out of that place.

  “We have enchiladas from the housekeeper,” I told her. “You want some? They look really good.”

  “I want some!” Winnie called to me, eavesdropping in on our conversation.

  I grinned and shot a look at her. “You think you could help me get dinner ready, huh?”

  She nodded eagerly. She had been so interested in taking on other responsibilities since Raina had come into our lives. I wondered if, perhaps, it had something to do with the fact that she wanted to impress the older woman. If that was the case, it had to be about the sweetest thing I had ever seen in my life.

  We headed inside and laid out plates, and I heated up the food that the housekeeper had so kindly gone out of her way to put in the freezer for us. Normally, she was just hired to make Winnie’s lunches for the week, but she must have caught wind of what was happening with Nico and had decided to take matters into her own hands.

  I was beyond grateful because if she hadn’t, then I would have been on takeout duty for another night, and I was pretty sure that I was getting way too much of a taste for cheap takeout pizza.

  We crowded around the table, and Tink darted between us, seeing who would be the first to break and give him something to eat. Winnie talked about the day she’d had at school, and Raina talked a little about the patients she’d been treating that day.

  I just sat there and listened to them, the two people I loved more than anything. Sitting between them made me feel like everything in the world was going to work out just fine. I had been through a lot these last few days—hell, these last few years—but without it, I would never have found the two of them, and that was all I cared about in that moment.

  Winnie insisted on helping to clear the plates away, and I pulled out my laptop and set it on the counter. There was something that I needed to talk to Raina about, sooner rather than later. I knew it was a gamble, bringing up something so big with her, but I wanted her take on it, and I didn’t want this to slide on by.

  “Raina?” I asked, and I patted the seat next to me. “There’s something I wanted to show you. Well, a few somethings, actually.”

  “Oh, really?” She joined me curiously, eyeing the blank screen in front of me. “I don’t mean to alarm you, but there’s nothing there.”

  I shot her a look, grinned, and clicked the mouse so I could show her what I was talking about.

  I had been scanning through a few properties, now that I knew that we needed to move. Somewhere that would have plenty of room for the kids and for guests, should we want them too. And though I hadn’t come out and asked her about it directly, I was sincerely hoping that she would be willing to give us a hand in picking the right one. Because whichever one we landed on, I was hoping that one day she would be willing to live there with us, too.

  “I was checking out some houses,” I explained, and I looked over at her. “And I was hoping that you might be able to give us some input, too.”

  I eyed her for a long moment, waiting for this to sink in. I would come out and say it to her straight if she needed me to, but she didn’t. Her eyes widened, and she looked from me to the screen and back again, and then this huge smile spread across her face, and she nodded.

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”

  I realized that my heart was beating hard in my chest, and I did my best to soothe it as I showed her the few houses that I had looked at for us. All of them were pretty close by, near enough that her commute wouldn’t be significantly extended by moving in to one of them. They were big, much bigger than the place that I was staying in now, but they would need to be if they were going to fit so many more people.

  Five bedrooms, so there was room for an office and a guest bed. Three bathrooms because Winnie would be a teenager soon, and when that day arrived, she would probably want a little more space of her own. And room for Allison, too, if she wanted to stay to be near her son while he was here. I wanted everything to be perfect.

  A big yard, of course, so that Tink could run around and play and tire himself out, not to mention a few parks nearby so that there were plenty of places to go out and walk him when he was getting antsy.

  “I never thought I would get to live somewhere like this,” she murmured as I clicked through the images on one of the houses that I had taken a liking to.

  She was just staring at it as though she could hardly believe that this was actually happening. She took my hand beneath the table, and I squeezed it tightly. I wanted to tell her that I would have given her anything, anything at all in the world, if it made her smile at me the way she was right now.

  The M-word crossed my mind. It wasn’t the first time that I had thought about it since I had been with her, but I had done my best to put it to the back of my brain for the time being. I might have loved her, and I sure knew that she loved me, but there was no way that I could give myself over to that quite yet. What if she said no?

  I had no clue how I would handle it if she turned me down. The thought of being without her drove me crazy, and there was no way in hell I could risk putting so much on the line when I had no clue what the outcome might be.

  What if she ran away screaming, put off by how quickly I was diving into things? We’d already had to deal with so much. There was no need for me to dive headfirst into something like marriage without spending a little more time thinking it through.

  By the time we were done and Winnie was finished with cleaning up everything in the sink, we had narrowed it down to a couple of places that looked about perfect for what we were shooting for. They had plenty of room, were well located, and looked as though they could be turned into gorgeous family homes with just a little work. I bookmarked the two that we had been checking out, making a mental note to get someone to sort out a viewing for me as soon as I got the chance.

  “Do you want to come check out those places with me?” I asked Raina.

  She bit her lip. It was clear she was holding back a whole great big pile of excitement. “I’ll have to check in with work first,” she warned me. “But if I can, I would love to.”

  “I can’t wait.” I glanced around to make sure that Winnie wasn’t in the room, and I stole a quick kiss.

  She smiled and kissed me back, and suddenly, everything that we had before us seemed to open up to welcome us inside. I could hardly wait to see where this was going to go.

  Because I knew as long as I had her at my side, I had nothing to fear.

  Chapter 64

  Raina

  “Are you sure you don’t mind me taking a half-day?” I asked fretfully.

  Rita shook her head and waved her hands at me. “You go house hunt with your man! I’m still making up for the time I missed on maternity leave. I don’t want you rushing on this. You could be living with him soon enough, anyway.”

  “Hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said, but I could hardly keep the smile off my face.

  She was right. I knew that
we hadn’t actually had the conversation yet, but the fact that Harry had encouraged me to offer my own opinions on the houses and had now invited me to take a look at the ones he was checking out today suggested that cohabitation was in the cards.

  “I’m totally going to get ahead of myself,” Rita replied. “I think this is fantastic. The two of you are moving so fast.”

  “Well, I waited long enough to do the dating thing,” I said. “I guess I see no reason to wait around now that I’m here.”

  She gave me a quick hug and sighed. “Oh, I’m going to miss that apartment of yours. You remember when we used to just sit up there and drink wine when it had been a hard day at the clinic?”

  “And then you had to go and get pregnant,” I replied with a faux-outraged sigh.

  “Hey, I’m not the only one diving into this stuff,” she pointed out. “You’re going to move in with your man soon enough.”

  “I guess so,” I agreed, and I could hardly keep the smile off my face. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. I was going to live with him.

  Okay, so maybe it wasn’t going to happen right this second, but it was so exciting just to think about sharing a life with him, a real life. With Nico, with Winnie, with Tink, with all of us together and happy and—okay, I was letting myself get a little carried away. But after everything that had happened, didn’t I deserve a touch of fantasy?

  “You go meet with him,” Rita ordered me as she shooed me out of the clinic. “And text me to let me know how it goes. I want pictures of the house you decide on, okay?”

  “If we decide on a place today,” I said. “Which we very well might not.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you’re going to come home empty-handed,” she replied, rolling her eyes at me and laughing. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re totally going to buy some place.”

  “We’re not going to buy anywhere.” I laughed. “He doesn’t have that kind of impulse in him. I’m sure of it.”

  “But he’s got the funds.”

  “Don’t tempt me,” I warned her. “Go on. Get back to work, you. I have houses to look at.”

  And with that, I was out the door and heading to the realtor’s office where Harry and I had agreed to meet to take a look at the houses. Harry was getting out of the car just as I got there, and he greeted me with a quick kiss. It was still such a novelty to me, to just be able to kiss this man whenever I wanted to.

  “Hey,” I said. “Everything okay?”

  “I think about as good as it’s going to get right about now,” he replied with a nod. “Nico’s back at home. They’ve got him on this new medication, and it looks like it’s doing him some good.”

  “Oh, that’s such a relief to hear.” I sighed, planting my hand on my chest and closing my eyes. “And how are you? A little better rested?”

  “A little,” he said. “I still need to take a few days off to get back to reality.”

  “We can leave this till some other time, if you want.”

  “No way,” he replied at once. “I want this. And hey, we don’t want our dream house taken right out from underneath us, do we?”

  I smiled. Our. He was talking about this as though it was the two of us together, and that made me just so absurdly happy.

  We headed inside, and the realtor, probably having just gotten wind of Harry’s net worth, was already there and waiting for us and looking like he was about to pop with excitement. He had already brought the car around to drive us to see the first place, and I held Harry’s hand in the back seat and tried to contain my excitement.

  When we arrived, it was hard for me to contain my shock at the sheer size of the place. I was still living in what was basically a glorified studio apartment, and in comparison, this place was practically palatial.

  “Oh my God,” I gasped. “This place is huge.”

  “There are about a dozen living spaces, as well as some storage room on top of that,” the realtor announced as he bounced out of the car and practically sprinted to open my door for me.

  Harry and I exchanged a look. It was difficult not to notice how enthused this dude seemed about everything, when he had only just started. But then, I guessed it was his job to get us excited about this place.

  “Not to mention a great big yard area, so if you have any pets or kids, there’s plenty of space for them to play,” he continued.

  I was a little overwhelmed.

  Harry took my hand, squeezed tightly. “You okay?” he asked.

  I managed to nod. It was just more than I had been ready for. But I supposed I was going to have to wrap my head around it pretty damn fast if I was going to make it through the rest of this viewing.

  The house was nice. It was. There was nothing wrong with it. But something about it just didn’t leap out at me. I didn’t feel that rush of excitement that I wanted to, didn’t feel that thrill when I was wandering around it. The rooms were spacious and well lit, the furniture that came with it was minimalist and sleek, and I knew there would be plenty of room for all of us in here.

  “What do you think?” Harry asked me quietly as we neared the end of the tour.

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “It’s... it’s okay.”

  “But you don’t love it?”

  “I don’t love it,” I admitted.

  He squeezed my hand. “Then let’s see the next one,” he replied, and he directed the realtor to take us to the next house that we had picked out.

  This one was a little farther from my work, but I liked the area as soon as we entered it. It seemed bright and brisk, full of families, many of whom were walking home from half-days at school. It was in the district that Winnie was currently being taught in, so she wouldn’t have to worry about changing schools. And when we pulled up in front of the house, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

  “Okay,” I murmured to Harry, keeping my voice low so that the realtor didn’t get any ideas in his head. “Now, this place, I like.”

  The house was a little smaller, but it seemed so much roomier. Some of the furniture was a little beat-up, but it was nothing that a little love and effort wouldn’t fix up right away. As we wandered around, taking in the bathrooms, the bedroom, the little kitchen with its old-fashioned cooker, I felt a smile spreading through my whole body.

  This was it. This was the place. I was utterly sure of it.

  And I knew that Harry felt it, too. He might not have wanted to say anything until he knew that I was impressed by the house, but I could tell from the way he was hovering, looking at my every reaction, that he was as taken with it as I was.

  By the time we had headed out onto the back porch, which had a small loveseat swinging lightly in the breeze, I knew this was where I wanted to live.

  Harry hadn’t actually officially asked me to move in with him yet. Which was a little crazy—I knew that—but I didn’t much care. This place felt like a home to me. I knew I could make it into one, if I got the chance.

  By the time we came to the end of the tour, I was dead certain this was the place for me. Harry lifted my knuckles to his lips and kissed my hand. I could already imagine where Winnie was going to stay, the spot that Nico could have to himself, near where the sunlight streamed in through the narrow living-room window onto the old wood-panel floor. Everything about this place was utterly perfect. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Not a single thing.

  “So, what do you think?” the realtor asked, though I was quite sure that he had picked up on the vibe that we were giving off as we made our way around.

  I looked over at Harry.

  “I think we need a little time to talk this over,” Harry replied. “Could you take us back to the office?”

  “Of course,” he agreed, and with that, he led us out of the house and started the drive back across the city to the office.

  On the way over, Harry just looked at me, and raised his eyebrows. “That place?” he asked.

  I nodded and bit my lip. “That place,” I agr
eed. “I’m sure of it.”

  By the time that we had gotten back, I had no idea what to expect from the rest of this day. Surely, Harry wasn’t going to put an offer down right there and then, was he? But then, he had never been the guy who held back when he thought that things were going his way.

  I supposed I should have known that he would make the move as soon as he could, but I would have been lying if I’d said I wasn’t a touch taken aback when we got back into the office and sat down opposite the realtor and Harry started to speak.

  “I want to put an offer down,” Harry told him bluntly.

  The man’s eyebrows shot up so far that they almost vanished into his slightly receding hairline. “What? Today?”

  He gaped for a moment before he started scrambling under the desk to pull out some documents. I had to stifle a giggle. He seemed totally thrown by what was happening, and I supposed I couldn’t blame him. This wasn’t the sort of thing that was meant to happen when you were just taking people to look at houses for the first time.

  But Harry just looked at him, waiting for him to come to terms with what he had said, and the realtor soon managed to get himself together.

  “Okay, so we’ve had a few people looking at the place, but if you’re interested in putting an offer down now—”

  “Whatever they’ve put in, we’ll top it,” Harry replied at once. “Anything. How much do you want for it? I can get my finance people in touch with you by the end of the day if that helps. You could go over some of the details for what’s next.”

  “Uh, right, of course,” the realtor agreed, and he scrambled to keep up.

  I smiled, and Harry leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. This was happening. This was really happening. We were getting a home together, a house.

  And I could hardly wait to go ahead and move on in.

  Chapter 65