One Family

by Smyth, R. A

  “I can’t show my face back there. Sophie will never forgive me for running away,” Preston says from his spot on the floor where he’s staring unseeingly at the ceiling.

  “Don’t be stupid. Of course she will.”

  He briefly flicks his eyes down to look at me, giving me a disbelieving glare. “How could she? I fucking bailed at the first sign of trouble. The one time she fucking needed me, and I wasn’t there.”

  “You’re right, you did bail, and it was a dumb ass move,” I tell him bluntly, leaning forward and resting my arms on my knees. There’s no point in me sugar coating it for him. He reacted badly, went about it all the wrong way, but whatever. It’s done now.

  “She’s been doing better the last few days,” I assure him.

  He once again tears his eyes away from the ceiling to look at me, making sure I’m being honest with him and not just telling him what he wants to hear.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I nod, relief clear in my tone. I was seriously fucking worried about her for a minute there. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still got a long way to go to get back to herself, but I’m positive once we deal with Kirk and get the fuck out of this town that we can all finally move on and leave all this shit behind us.

  “She’s been worried about you.”

  He cringes at that, feeling guilty about adding to her problems right now. As he fucking should.

  “I shouldn’t have stormed out like that.”

  “No, you shouldn’t,” I agree, “but you're a hot-headed asshole. Go home and apologize. Suck up to her and make it right, cause man, she needs us.” I give him a hard look so he knows I’m not fucking kidding. He’s got some serious groveling to do. “We all fucking need each other.”

  Slowly sitting up and leaning against the wall, he bends one leg, keeping the other straight out in front of him, resting his arm on his knee in a similar position to me. His eyes stay glued to the floor as he tries to explain what happened the other day.

  “I just couldn’t handle seeing her like that. She looked so small, so broken. She’s never been like that before. Not even after I found her at the school that day. She’s always so strong, so defiant. Even when she’s falling apart, there’s that determined spark in her eye.” He sighs dejectedly before continuing, “She didn’t have that fucking spark any more. It was like she’d just given up and I didn’t know what the fuck to do about that, how to get her back.”

  When he looks at me, there’s a sheen of tears in his eyes. I’ve never seen him so emotional before. Yeah, he gets pissed; he gets angry, and he lashes out, but he doesn’t get upset and he sure as hell doesn’t let anyone, even me, see him cry. That’s how I know he truly gives a shit about Sophie.

  Getting to my feet, I reach out my hand for him to take. There’s confidence in my stance, perseverance in my eyes. “We’re not going to lose her.” There’s no damn way we’re letting that shit happen. I’ll do whatever it fucking takes to make sure of it. Beat these assholes into line any time they so much as think about giving up on her.

  She may be a little lost right now, that spark might not be in her eyes, but it’s in her somewhere. We just need to give her a reason to want to live again.

  Taking my hand, he gets to his feet. I can see some of my certainty has rubbed off on him. Any signs of the emotion he was showing a minute ago are long gone. In its stead is a wild determination to do whatever the fuck it takes to get his girl back.

  About fucking time!

  “Ready to go?”

  Hardening his gaze, he gives a short, sharp nod of his head.

  “Let’s go.”

  Casting my eyes over his disheveled appearance, I scrunch my nose up. “Eh, probably best if you shower first.”

  Chapter 36

  As soon as the door swings open and Preston steps in, I’m up and out of my chair, flying across the room and into his arms, hugging him tightly.

  Finally pulling back, I slap him, hard, across the face, only vaguely registering his split lip and early stages of bruising forming on his face.

  “How could you?” I cry, sinking to my knees in front of him as huge sobbing tears stream down my face. God, I’m a fucking mess of emotions right now.

  I’m so angry with him, and worried about him, and upset that he’s not okay, upset that I’m not fucking okay.

  And yet a huge part of me is also just fucking done. I’m so over this shit. Over feeling this way. Over dealing with all this crap that none of us asked for, but is being thrown at us on a daily basis.

  I don’t want to be this emotional wreck of a person anymore. I don’t want to be worrying every second of the day that my guys are okay, that we’re going to make it out of this alive and together.

  I’ve been a shell of my former self the last few days, but I can’t keep blocking out the world, pretending none of this shit is happening. Unfortunately for us, it’s not all just going to disappear if we pretend it doesn’t exist. Ty’s right. We need to face up to it. We have to stand up and fight the fuck back. Demand the future we want. I’ve had my few days of wallowing, and so has Preston. Now we need to stand strong, side by side, all of us, together.

  Doesn’t mean I can’t be fucking pissed at him for walking out on us, though.

  I feel him bend down, slipping his arms undermine and hauling me against his hard chest. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me across the floor and up the stairs.

  Sitting down on the bed so I’m straddling him, he runs his hand through my hair, letting me cling to him. I’m no longer crying, though a few traitorous tears still fall, but I’m mostly just so fucking glad to have him back, have him in my arms again.

  “Don’t ever leave me again.” I try to bite out the words, but my voice breaks, showing my true emotions. Letting him see just how much his running away affected me. I might not have been able to process it at the time, in my numbed state, but now that I’m opening myself up again, I feel the pain of him leaving in every fucking atom of my soul.

  “I won’t. I promise.” His own voice is low and hoarse, thick with emotion. His arms wrap around me even tighter, squeezing me against him. “I’m so sorry, baby. I should’ve never….I won’t ever…” He breaks off, unable to find the right words. Feeling him swallow around a lump in his throat, he coughs to dislodge it before continuing. “I’m not going anywhere, ever again. I swear, Princess.”

  I pull back, needing to see the truth of his words in his eyes. I’m shocked when I look at his face and see the tears overflowing, running down his cheeks.

  Seeing him like this, so torn up, creates a fresh wave of tears in my own eyes and soon we’re both sniffing and crying. Two hot messes that can’t get their shit sorted.

  I lean in, pressing my lips to his, tasting the salt of his tears as he opens his mouth, the tip of his tongue slipping into mine. It’s shallow and unhurried, gentle and loving. It’s not about devouring one another. There’s no heat, no passion. It’s a kiss of necessity. The collision of two life forces that recognize they aren’t meant to traverse this world alone. It’s about wrapping ourselves up in each other, falling into one other and trusting they will catch you.

  Eventually we pull away, both of us breaking the kiss, knowing I'm not ready for anything more just yet. My moment with Barrett in the bathroom may not have been the healthiest way to deal. I don’t regret it, but I also can’t fall into a pattern of masking my issues and not healing. I was falling apart inside and he helped put me back together. The problem is the pieces didn't all smoothly slot back into place. I'm left with jagged parts that don't quite fit together the way they should. The broken bits of me may all have come together to make a whole, but I'm not the same untarnished, head-strong person I was before all of this. Everything about me right now is fragile and prone to breaking again if too much pressure is applied. It's like I'm walking a tightrope between eventually being okay and becoming irrevocably damaged. One small gust of wind is likely to make me lose my ba
lance, and I don't want to know what will become of me if I fall.

  Nuzzling into my neck, breathing me in, I feel his warm breath against my skin as he says, “I didn’t know how to deal with my anger. I fucking love you, Sophie, and not being able to help you was driving me insane. I was a fucking idiot.”

  “You were,” I murmur, my heart clenching at his words and the pain in his voice. I can kinda understand. It was a new feeling for him, to be so helpless. We’re all just muddling through this life, doing the best we can. We’re going to fuck up and make mistakes. So long as we always come back to each other, always have one another's backs and fight for us, our family, we might just make it through.

  “You have to be all in, Preston,” I enforce, needing to know he’s a hundred percent committed. “You can’t run. You can’t bail when things get hard, or shit isn’t going your way. This is only going to work between us all if we lean on one another. You have to learn to turn to one of us if you’re struggling. And you have to have a greater belief in me. I know I lost my way there for a sec, I know I’m still beyond fucked up, but I’m here. I’m fighting. Just like Barrett, Ty and Aiden are. We need to be able to rely on you. We need to know if you’re going to stand up and fight too.”

  He doesn’t immediately respond, and I can see him taking in every word I say, letting it resonate with him. I hope he’s taking me seriously because he let us all down when he stormed out of here. There won’t be a second chance. He’s either in or he’s out. With all of us.

  If he’s out? Well, I have no idea how I’ll pick myself up from that, or how Barrett would cope. But if that’s his decision, we will have to live with that. And if he’s in? Then he better be a hundred percent in.

  “I’m in. I’m all the way in,” he finally says, his voice steeled with determination. “I’m not going anywhere.” His words are an echo of what he said earlier, the repetition assuring me he means it.

  Staring into his gray gaze, I see the sincerity in his eyes. They’re stormy with his anger at himself, his worry for me, for us, but there’s a steadfast resolve there that gives me hope.

  “Okay,” I finally relent. He’s made his assurances, but only time will tell. “Well, there’s two very pissed off men downstairs impatiently waiting for you.” I cast my eyes over his face. It’s clear Barrett has already said his piece, apparently choosing to use his fists to do it.

  He groans, leaning in to kiss my neck. “I figured as much.”

  I hold on to him a minute longer, before climbing off his lap. He lets me pull him to his feet and the two of us head back downstairs, me curious to see what punishment the boys have in store, him with his shoulders back, spine straight, ready to face the music.

  ________

  It’s late afternoon by the time I get back from my walk with Barrett. After being locked inside Kurt’s psycho mansion and spending a week in the warehouse, lost in my own head, it felt really great to feel the wind on my skin, smell the damp, earthy smell of the forest. Even though it was a cold, wet day, I forgot how serene it was out here. It’s honestly the best kind of therapy, strolling silently through the trees, listening to the wildlife around you, the pattering of rain as it hits the leaves overhead.

  Barrett, likely sensing how much I needed to just soak in the surrounding nature, was surprisingly quiet, mostly leaving me to my thoughts. It was nice having him with me though, knowing he was there, spouting the occasional joke or idiotic comment.

  “Eh, what’s going on?” I ask in confusion, stepping back into the warehouse and finding the rest of my guys looking at me weirdly. Ty has this stupid ass grin on his face, while Preston looks strangely unsure about something. Aiden, of course, is as unreadable as ever. Looking behind me to Barrett, wondering if he has any idea what’s going on, I find him smiling at me softly.

  Flicking my eyes around the room, looking to see if they’ve done something stupid—I wouldn’t put it past them—I notice the blankets from our makeshift bed on the floor have been folded and put away for the first time since I got back. I’m actually kind of disappointed. It wasn’t the most ideal set up, but I liked being squished between them all each night.

  Not seeing anything else out of place, destroyed or damaged, I look back at the guys, even more confused.

  “We have something to show you,” Barrett murmurs in my ear before taking my hand and pulling me across the warehouse, towards the stairs. Glancing back over my shoulders, I find the other guys following us up the narrow staircase.

  Barrett pushes open the door to Preston’s old bedroom—now my bedroom with whichever two guys win the stupid rock, paper, scissors, competition each night.

  The first thing I see—because it’s impossible to miss—is the huge bed taking up all the space in the small room. They have removed every other piece of furniture just to accommodate it.

  On closer inspection, I realize its two beds pushed together. That makes much more sense. How would you even find sheets large enough to fit a bed that wide?

  “What is all this?” I ask, spinning around to find all four guys have followed me into the bedroom.

  I’m greeted by a whole spectrum of expressions. While Ty and Barrett are smiling and seem happy with whatever this is, Preston seems less sure and Aiden has a little frown on his face. It reminds me that these guys are all so different, alpha males each in their own way. Mostly they somehow manage to put me first, but they still have their own insecurities. They’re still learning how to get along with one another. Ty and Barrett are the only two that seem comfortable to be themselves around everyone, but I’ve faith that, given time, they will see what I see in each other.

  “As comfortable as the floor was, love,” Ty remarks sarcastically, smirking at me. “We figured we needed a more permanent setup.”

  My eyebrows rise in surprise, my eyes widening at his admission. “We’re all going to be sleeping together?” I ask, the start of a grin spreading across my face. “Without any of you killing each other?”

  “No promises,” Aiden grumbles, but he rolls his eyes when I look in his direction, letting me know he’s only half joking.

  Barrett steps up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Would that make you happy, baby girl?” He murmurs, nuzzling into my hair.

  He doesn’t even wait for my response, before tightening his arms around me, lifting me into the air and diving backwards onto the bed.

  “Ahh,” I scream at the sudden movement, before bursting into laughter.

  “Woooo,” Ty yells out before dive bombing onto the bed beside us. “Damn, this is way fucking better than the floor,” he laments, spreading his arms and legs out, taking up as much bed space as possible.

  Looking up, I find Preston and Aiden still hovering at the end of the bed, not as carefree or gung-ho as Barrett and Ty. Seeing my warm smile, Aiden finally moves hesitantly towards the bed, squeezing into the small gap beside Ty, kneeing him in the side to get him to move.

  With only Preston left to work on, I turn my focus back on him, raising my eyebrows in a ‘what are you waiting for’ look. He clearly helped them re-arrange this whole setup, so he’s just being bloody stubborn.

  I see it when he finally relents. He sighs in frustration, rolling his eyes before stomping over to the bed in a very Preston-like fashion, taking the final spot beside Barrett.

  Reaching over me, Ty slaps him on the arm. “We’re gonna be bed buddies, man.”

  I sigh heavily, knowing he’s trying to wind Preston up.

  Preston scowls at him, not falling for the bait. Instead, he leans over Barrett, pressing his lips to mine before murmuring, “I’d do anything for you, but this is really pushing it.”

  Smiling against his lips, I kiss him again.

  “I mean it,” he continues, pulling back from me. “Don’t you know how badly Barrett snores? And look, Ty’s already taking up half the bed.”

  Ignoring him, I wrap my hand around the front of his shirt, pulling him back down to me, kissing him agai
n.

  Did he always taste this good or is it just the thought of nearly losing them all? Of nearly losing myself?

  Kissing me back passionately, he moans into my mouth, climbing over Barrett until he’s wedging himself between my thighs.

  I feel someone’s hand running over my stomach, as someone else pulls down the strap of my tank top, their lips trailing scorching hot kisses over my shoulder.

  Preston breaks off our kiss, moving down my body as Ty moves in to kiss along my neck.

  “Just say the word and we’ll stop, love,” he murmurs, continuing to kiss a trail along my jaw. “This is all about you.” His lips meet mine in a quick kiss. “We want to make you feel good.” He kisses me again, his tongue running along my lips before pulling away again. “Remind you we love you.” Another kiss, his tongue flicking past my lips, briefly exploring my mouth before he breaks away again, driving me mad with his teasing. “That we fucking worship you.” This time, when his lips meet mine, there’s so much love in his kiss, it threatens to drown me. The passion as he drives his tongue into my mouth, sliding it over my own, drives any other thoughts out of my mind.

  Between his insatiable kisses, the heavy weight of Preston between my legs, and Barrett and Aiden’s hands roaming over my skin, I can’t string together a coherent thought. I didn’t think I was ready for this, but right now, in this moment, surrounded by their love, I feel more like myself than I have in weeks.

  “Do you want us, baby girl?” Barrett asks. His voice is low, threaded with desire, but I pick up on the undertone of uncertainty. I can feel his fingers as they trail a burning path down my arm, taking the straps of my top and bra with them.