Driller: Dead Ringers MC Book 1

by Deja Voss

  I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and Anita pokes her head in the door.

  “You decent?” she asks.

  She’s a beautiful lady, but the lines on her face are weathered into a permanent frown. I know some of that has to be the club’s fault, Stoney’s fault, and maybe a little bit of working as a nurse in the hospital her entire adult life. When she looks at me, though, she has kindness in her eyes.

  “I hope nobody wants this room,” I say.

  “It’s all yours.” She has a stack of photo albums in her arms, and she motions for me to sit on the bed next to her. “I have some stuff I want to show you if you’ll let me. Stoney doesn’t know I have these. Well, I mean, Stoney doesn’t know much of anything right now.”

  She has a nervous chuckle, and I feel so sad for her in that moment. I can’t imagine how helpless she feels right now, knowing her husband will probably never walk or talk again. Knowing she can’t just curl up next to him in bed at night and talk with him until she falls asleep like Driller and I have taken to doing.

  She pulls open the cover of a little leather-bound album, and the first picture is of my dad and Stoney in their army uniforms, sitting on a set of steps, shit-eating grins on their faces.

  “Oh my God, they were just babies,” I say.

  My dad never had much to say about Vietnam except that him and Stoney never left each other's sides. I knew from what I learned about in school and saw on TV that whatever they did over there was probably no walk in the park, but flipping through these photos of them looking like they were barely old enough to drive a car is a shocking reminder that they had to grow up a lot faster than I did.

  As much as I felt alone or isolated as a kid, I never once had to think about killing or dying. As much as I felt like my childhood was robbed by my dad’s career and drinking, I have this somber sense that he was just doing the best he could with what he had to work with. Him and Stoney protected our country, and apparently they came home and spent their lives trying to protect me.

  “Did you know him then?” I ask.

  “I did. Stoney and I were high school sweethearts believe it or not. Things were a lot easier back then. He was a totally different person before he left for the war. I spent my whole life trying to get that man back. Maybe that’s why I’m so bitter. They took my sweet boyfriend away from me and sent me back a broken mean man. I still loved the shit out of him, still do, but if you would’ve asked sixteen-year-old me what I pictured my future looking like, this was definitely not it. The only person who could ever get through to him was your father. He was the only person Stoney could relate to when he got back. They always had this special connection, and I was always so thankful to Vinnie for looking after him. The things those men saw, the screaming in the night, the blackouts, they were things I just couldn’t wrap my brain around.”

  I slam the book shut, my stomach twisting in knots. To imagine my dad being the more responsible of the two is a scary thought.

  “When your mom came around, Stoney was heartbroken. It hurt me so bad, I’m not going to lie. He was so tore up about losing his only friend. He dumped all his energy into the club and spent all his time working his way up the ranks. He left Brad and I alone to try and work out whatever it was he was going through. At the time I didn’t know if he just plain didn’t like us or if he was trying to protect us from his past or the man he’d become. It made me feel so small, knowing I was never enough to make him happy. Knowing his own son wasn’t enough for him.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” I reach for her wrinkled hand and squeeze it. “Veterans were treated like shit back then. They didn’t have access to the mental help they needed. When they came home from Vietnam nobody wanted anything to do with them. Nobody knew what to do with them.”

  “Myself included,” she says begrudgingly. “When your dad told Stoney he and your mom were expecting, I thought he was going to lose it. I thought he’d be livid knowing your old man’s time was going to be decreased even more. I was shocked at how excited Stoney was to find out about you. More excited than he was when he found out I was pregnant. Every time he left the house he came back with some new tiny little pink frilly dress or baby booties. He didn’t want you to want for anything. He was so happy for your dad.”

  She plops my baby book onto my lap. I didn’t even know I had one of these things. I figured once my mom split, my dad didn’t bother with frivolous stuff like that. My hands tremble as I run my fingers over the cover. I’m breathing a lot heavier than I was before.

  “I don’t want to look at this. I don’t want to know. Happy or sad, there’s a reason why I never saw this before. I don’t think I’m ready for it now.”

  “You don’t want to know what your mom looked like?” she asks with a sad smile.

  “If my mom was anything like everyone described, if my mom caused this much hurt in the world, I don’t want to see her. I could go the rest of my life thinking she never existed.”

  “That’s fair.” Anita takes the book from me and slides it in one of the empty dresser drawers. “I’ll leave it here just in case you change your mind. I just want you to know you were loved very much by your father, by the club, by everyone.”

  “Except you and Brad,” I say out of the side of my mouth.

  “I never had anything against you, babe. You were a helpless child. Brad, on the other hand, he was just a kid, too. He saw how much attention you got from Stoney. I never understood what his interest in Riley was, but looking back, maybe it was his way of taking something important away from you.”

  “I wish I could talk to him.” The thought never crossed my mind that maybe he was hurting me the only way he knew how, and maybe, back then, he thought I had it coming.

  “It’s going to be rough for a little while.” Anita cups her head in her hands, and I realize sitting before me is a woman who’s lost more than me. She’s been losing since before I even existed. She looks so small and frail, and I just want to scoop her up and tell her everything is going to be alright, but I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that either physically or mentally.

  “Did I hear somebody’s getting it rough?” Betty stands in the doorway with a pitcher of frozen margaritas in one hand and a couple glasses in the other. “Oh shit,” she mutters when she sees Anita sitting there all sad.

  “We were just taking a walk down memory lane.”

  Betty sits down on the bed with us and smiles sincerely at Anita. “Did you tell her about how she potty trained herself? Just waddled right up to Vinnie while he was tattooing Romeo and chucked her diaper at him and said ‘I’m big girl now’. Fucking two years old, and she had better bladder control than those old assholes.”

  “No,” I say with a laugh.

  “Do you remember when the guys took you to see the Little Mermaid on Ice? Stoney rented you a box at the arena for your third birthday. Everybody came back decked out in t-shirts and hats and glow sticks. Funniest fucking thing I’d ever seen,” Anita says.

  “I don’t remember that at all!” I whine. I bet it was a sight to behold, my dad and the MC there amongst all the “normal” people.

  “It’s all in the book,” Anita says, nodding to the drawer. “When you’re ready.”

  “Let’s go get some sun! You know the rules of the weekend, Pearl. You’re either drinking or drawing, and I know you don’t drink. Grab your stuff and let’s go sit outside. I’m under direct orders to not let you hole up in your room.”

  I shoot her a salute. “I’m gonna change real quick,” I say. “Might as well get some sun. My body probably doesn’t even know how to process vitamin D anymore.”

  “Oh you’ve been getting plenty of vitamin D,” Betty teases. “I can tell by the constant goofy smile on Driller’s face.”

  “You know what I mean,” I giggle, slamming the door behind the two of them. It’s a lot to process, but something about knowing I have always been loved, even if I didn’t realize it, fills my heart with a weird kind of sen
timental joy. These people have always been my family. I’m right where I belong, and now I get to spend the rest of my life with them and the man I love more than I ever realized I was capable of.

  But what about my sister?

  Did nobody really know she existed? Why did she not get the luxuries I had?

  I try to push the thought of her out of my mind, but it’s hard. How am I supposed to shake this guilt? How can I live with myself knowing that the difference between me turning out the way I did and her turning out the way she did was only a matter of timing?

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Driller

  “I don’t know, man; You really think this is how you want to spend your weekend of freedom?” Decker asks as we stand outside the jewelry store. “I thought it was going to be more like the good old days when you asked me to ride along.”

  I asked Decker to ride along because that man is a steel trap when it comes to keeping secrets. Apparently he thought the kind of secrets I wanted him to keep were going to be a little more of the gambling and prostitutes variety.

  “I’m just fucking with you,” he says. “We better get inside before anybody sees us, though. And just so you know, I have very expensive taste.”

  I know I’m being fucking extreme. Pearl and I have only been together for about three months, and every day I feel like I’m learning things about her I never knew before.

  Things that make her all the more addicting to me.

  Things that make me love her even more.

  Like that she will not kill bugs because they aren’t doing anything but living their lives the only way they know how.

  Or that none of her tattoos mean anything, she just liked the looks of them, just likes being decorated in pretty art. That she doesn’t think everything needs to have some deep meaning. People are allowed to just like stuff.

  Or the way she screams my name when we’re fucking, like some sort of primal howl that I can feel in every single one of my bones, in every single fiber of my muscle.

  The only thing I’m not liking right now is the way she’s spiraling into a pit of worry just like so many of the best old ladies have in the past. I don’t want for her what Anita has. I don’t want her to think she’s going to have to spend every day of her life clinging to me because the second she lets go something bad is going to happen.

  I want her to know that no matter where I am, no matter where she is, we are always together. That’s why I want to get her a ring.

  “Come on in, fellas,” Bud Jordan says. “Follow me.”

  We’ve been protecting Bud’s place since before I was even born. Decker and I follow him through the store and into the back room.

  Two women in tight-fitting mini dresses lead us to a leather couch and offer us cigars.

  “I like where this is going.” Decker nods in approval as one of the women pours us each a scotch, her eyes never leaving his. “I think I could get used to this treatment.”

  Bud is pulling out all the stops for me, and for some reason I feel like this would be a lot better if Pearl was here with me to enjoy it, not my grinning goon of a brother who thinks these models are interested in anything but his wallet.

  I’ll let the man dream.

  Bud wheels a cart over to where we are sitting and starts showing me one ring after another. I don’t know anything about this shit, but I do know Pearl deserves something really special. Something like nobody else has.

  “They’re all nice, Bud, but I don’t know. This isn’t really us. I’d spend my last dime on whatever it is that’d make her happy, but I don’t think it’s any of this. Pearl is different. She’s not really the flashy type. She works with her hands so she can’t even really wear a diamond all the time.” I’m growing increasingly frustrated by the minute. I should’ve thought this out better.

  “Are you getting cold feet? We could always set something aside for you while you think about it.”

  “Not cold feet. Just… want it perfect.”

  “I have a really good idea,” the blonde says, grabbing Bud by the hand. “If I were Pearl, this is exactly what I’d want.”

  They leave the room together and I just shrug at Decker.

  “Maybe it’s a cock ring for you,” he says with a laugh. “Isn’t that what every girl wants? Do you love her enough to put a needle through your dick, brother?”

  “That’s some real commitment right there,” the redheaded model says as she slides her way onto Decker’s lap.

  I instinctively clamp my legs together. Nobody’s coming at my dick with a gun anytime soon. “I don’t think that’s the kind of surprise she needs right now.”

  Nobody needs any surprises right now.

  Between Vinnie and Stoney and trying to figure out what the fuck to do with Annabella, we’re all kind of just trying to find some sort of holding pattern. Taking it day by day.

  Bud comes back in the room with a rolling cart, and I nod in approval. “That’s it. That is exactly it.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Pearl

  “Quit touching it!” Ashley is admiring her new ornamental tattoo in the mirror, cupping her boobs in one arm and poking at it with her other hand. “You’re gonna give yourself an infection.”

  “I’m sorry, Pearl! It’s just so fucking pretty! It’s exactly what I wanted!”

  “It is really pretty,” Anita says, and now she’s touching it, too. I slap her hand away. “If I wasn’t pushing sixty-five, I’d say do me next.”

  “You’re never too old to feel beautiful,” I say.

  “Honey, you’d have to tuck my tits under my shoulders to be able to get up in there. Gravity’s a bitch.”

  We’re all sitting around in the kitchen, the room with the best lighting in the house. I didn’t figure I’d want to bust my equipment out tonight, but as soon as I sat down and started drawing, I realized how much I’d been bottling up over the last few months. I forgot how good it felt to just let whatever was in my mind flow out all over the place. I forgot that drawing was like opening up my veins and bleeding out on the paper until I felt well again. Right now I’m feeling more than well. I’m on fire.

  “I want this,” Betty says, flipping through my sketchbook until she comes to a page with a rough sketch of an eagle with its wings spread, clenching a heart in its talons.

  I grab the book from her hand and slam it shut. “That’s not for you. I’m sorry. Wouldn’t you rather have something a little more feminine anyway?”

  “Oooh,” Gwen taunts, grabbing the book from me. “Is it for your boyfriend?”

  She flips open to the page Betty was looking at and nods in approval. “That’s so Driller. A hundred percent.”

  Betty grins from ear to ear. “Reminds me a little bit like something your dad would’ve done back in the day. Only better. Like if your dad wasn’t so set in his old ways and actually learned some new techniques.”

  “That’s what I was going for. Kind of. And yes, it is for Driller. The day my dad was shot, he was in the middle of getting a chest piece.”

  “Of what?” Betty asks.

  “Nobody knows,” I say with a laugh as I grab my book from Gwen. “Now, I’m gonna take this away from you guys. I want this to be a surprise.”

  The headlight of a motorcycle shines through the kitchen window before I even hear the roar of the exhaust pipe in the driveway.

  “Speaking of surprises,” Anita says, rolling her eyes.

  “We’ll throw him out if you want. It’s your weekend, babe,” Gwen says.

  As much fun as I am having with the girls, as much as it’s nice to be out of the clubhouse and out of his room, and dressed in something other than sweatpants and a t-shirt, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it a whole weekend without him. I didn’t want to make it a whole weekend without him.

  I’d already gone most of my adult life without him. Already spent my entire life missing someone I didn’t even know I needed or wanted. Why did we need to spend even one more day apa
rt?

  I run out into the driveway in my bare feet and wrap my arms around him before he can even get his helmet off.

  “You’re not mad I’m crashing girls’ weekend?” he asks. I don’t even respond, just press my lips to his before he can even get another word in. I take him by the hand and we sneak in the side door. “I told Gwen a hundred times to keep all the doors locked,” he growls.

  I just roll my eyes and drag him up the steps behind me.

  By the time we reach the bedroom, the driveway is roaring with motorcycles.

  “Y'all can’t just stay away, can you?” I tease, peeking out the window. “What did you think was going on here? Lesbian orgy?”

  “By all means, if that’s what I was interrupting, babe, I’ll let you get back to it,” he says with a cocky smirk. I shake my head and unzip his jeans, tugging them down around his ankles.

  “I missed you.” I lick my lips as his erection grows in his boxers.

  “You’re so fucking sexy,” he growls, pulling my tank top up over my head. He brings his lips to my hardened nipples, swirling his tongue around them as his hands rip at my shorts. With my legs hanging off the side of the bed, he sinks into my wet pussy with one hard thrust.

  “I don’t know if I can go another day of my life without taking what’s mine, baby doll. I don’t think you understand exactly what it means to be claimed by me. Feeling that tight cunt that was made just for me. Making you come the way only I can.”

  “You’re the one who told me I needed some time alone with the girls.” I can barely speak as he thrusts in and out of me. I dig my fingernails into his corded back and buck my hips to meet his thrusts.

  “You want me to leave?”

  “I want you to cum,” I moan, losing it on him, my pussy fluttering around his hard warm shaft, the pressure sending me over the edge.

  He sinks his teeth into my neck as he pulls me onto his cock, filling me with his hot jizz, marking me like no man has marked me before. I flop back on the bed, sweaty and panting, staring up at his gorgeous face as he looks down over my naked body with this adoration that, at one point, would’ve made me uncomfortable, but now I’ve learned to become addicted to.