Mercy's Angels Box Set (Mercy's Angel #1-3)
Page 12
Fuck, I loved her. I had never loved a woman before. Not like this. I loved Mercy, I adored women. I spent a good portion of my life showing women just how much I adored them. But this was different. Sure I wanted her just like any red blooded male would, but I could see Ella as my forever girl. I could picture her in my home, in my bed, all tussled and cute. I could picture her with a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly. I groaned loudly. I was done for, Ella owned me and I would likely do anything for her. A sucker punch to the head wouldn’t have floored me any less.
The next morning when I arrived back at Mercy's I kept a careful distance from Ella, I didn't want to overwhelm her. Thankfully she left for work soon after I arrived which gave me a little room to get my body under control and use my brain for longer than a few minutes. She seemed quietly happy before she left, casting shy glances my way every now and again. It made me wonder what experience she had had with men. She didn't flirt and act like other girls her age did, but having been hurt by a man would certainly dampen any desire to try and attract members of the opposite sex. She blushed so easily though, and I caught her more than once watching my body carefully, as if seeing a man for the first time. She was an artist so perhaps it was simply attention to detail. Her eyes were filled with a familiar look that wasn't at all clinical, the raging blush in her cheeks told me that much. She was young, Annie had admitted that she thought she was a teenager, but Ella had confessed to her that she was twenty-two. Twenty-two was too old to be a virgin, surely. Damn, I was now imagining myself sinking into that beautiful little body, and my raging dick was demanding attention, right in the middle of Mercy's fucking kitchen!
“Are you reading tea leaves or something?” Her voice was so familiar and welcome I couldn’t stop the stupid grin that crept over my face. I was man enough to admit I had missed her today and man enough to admit I knew she finished work at five and it was now a little after seven. My shift had finished over an hour ago, but I refused to leave until I knew Ella was back and safe. Where had she been the last two hours? I made sure to keep my front to the sink, I didn't want to scare her with the bulge in my jeans.
"Good evening, Angel. Where've you been?"
“I went with Annie to look at apartments.”
“And?”
"And they found a nice place downtown. It has two bedrooms so Eli can have his own room. It's clean, and the landlord said he hasn't seen a rat in months." Ella chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile along with her. "They move in on Sunday and Annie invited me over for pizza that night to celebrate." She looked wistful. "I've never been invited to someone's place for dinner before." Her voice was so low I almost missed her confession.
“Really?” I tried not to sound surprised, but hell, I was and I guess I couldn’t help but sound it. Ella nodded.
“How old were you when you left home?”
“Seventeen, almost eighteen.”
“Before that, you never went out with your parents, maybe to their friends place for dinner?” She shook her head.
"My mom was embarrassed by me. I was a rebellious teenager and she was embarrassed by some of the things I did. She was also a bit of a perfectionist, she liked everything to be orderly, tidy, I wasn't. I liked jeans, she liked dresses. I liked my hair messy, hers was perfectly tidy. I liked boy shorts and sports bras, she liked Victoria's Secret. I wasn't the daughter she had hoped for." I was pissed, her mom sounded like a fucking bitch. Shit, her mom sounded like Selena.
“What about your dad?” Now I was pushing. I wanted to know more and I knew I should just let her offer the information when she was ready, but screw that. She trusted me, I knew she did. Time for a bit of Ella’s history, as painful as I knew it would be to hear, I needed to know. Ella fiddled with the cup, examining it like it was a fine work of art.
"My dad died when I was thirteen. He didn't have friends. He had work colleagues, he worked a lot. He had to keep mother happy and financed. We ate in, always. He made sure at least he and I sat down to dinner every night, my mother was out, a lot." I leaned against the bench settling in for what I hoped was a long and thorough discussion. She had my full undivided attention.
"I'm sorry he died, he sounded like a good man, someone who would have protected you." Ella's breath seemed to hitch, and she tried not to look at me. I placed my finger under her chin and turned her to face me. "How did your dad die?"
"Heart attack," two simple words that obviously tore a little girl's life apart. "In our kitchen. We were home alone, as usual, mother was away. I called the ambulance, and he was taken to the hospital. I sat there alone until midnight when my mother finally stumbled in, tipsy from too many cocktails. She promised to be home for dinner but obviously she was late. I didn't get to see my dad. She took me home and we buried him a week later." Her voice was emotionless, and it broke my heart. We were on a roll and I had no intention of stopping now.
"Who hurt you, Ella?" She breathed deeply and seemed to be finding the strength to continue. Her thumb began to trace the scar on her opposite wrist in a methodical motion. Clearly she was oblivious to what she was doing. It was a habit, something she did when this man came into her thoughts.
“Marcus, my step-father.” I held back my sneer, I wanted to kill this man. “Mother married six months after daddy died. I knew Marcus would hurt me, I saw it in his eyes.” Even at thirteen she was far too perceptive.
“Did you ask for help? Go to the police?” I knew she would bristle at my questions, but I had to know. I needed to know who had failed her so I could bring a world of hurt into their lives. She did indeed stiffen at my words and her sharp eyes focused on me.
"I was a mess, Jax. I did stupid things after my dad died and Marcus came into our lives. First it was just to embarrass him and my mom, but later it was a way to escape. I used drugs, drank, slept around like a common whore." I hated hearing her talk about herself that way and my fists clinched tight with anger, but I kept my expression neutral. The life that was forced upon her made me furious, that she did those things to escape someone who had betrayed her, who was supposed to protect her, regardless of whether he was her biological father or not made me want to spill blood. "I was in trouble with the police more than once, I couldn't go to them, they thought I was your typical delinquent teenager, and Marcus had a friend on the force anyway. He always made sure I was found, dealt with and placed back into the hands of my step-father. After I was hospitalized for my apparent suicide attempt, there was no way anyone would ever believe me." My heart ached for her. She’d lost a father who had loved her, made a good start for her, and then between her selfish mother and abusive step-father, it had all fallen down.
“What about the bruises. Surely people saw them, asked questions?”
"If they were on my face Marcus kept me home. He's a pretty successful business man, he has an office at home so he didn't need to leave the house, and he could make sure I stayed put. I tried to escape once, but the police found me and delivered me back to him with a bow and all. That's when he did this." She rubbed her wrists. I shook my head with frustration. "I was biding my time, waiting until I turned eighteen so I could leave without having to worry about being returned, but that's when he tried to rape me. That's when I left." Motherfucker! “I knew Marcus had a gun in his office and I was able to get the drawer open and grab the gun. I wanted to kill him so bad, but I couldn’t do it. He hit me like my life was nothing to him, he cut my wrists and let me bleed to within an inch of my life just to prove he could do whatever he wanted with me, and I couldn't hurt him. What does that say about me?"
"It says that you are more human than he is angel. It says that you realize how precious life is, and you aren't as willing to take it as he is. It means you're nothing like that sick fuck." I couldn't maintain the distance between us anymore. Reaching forward I pulled her hand away from her wrist and held it gently in mine.
"Well, I ran. That's what I've been doing for the last four years. That's my story, Jax. The whole ugly
fucked up game between my step-father and me." My hands were trembling, and I couldn't stop them. My heart was pounding with anger. This asshole had beaten her, cut her, manipulated her and tried to rape her. I could hardly believe this tiny little angel was still alive after everything she had been through. I should have expected it though, she was a defiant little spitfire, and there was no way she was going to let this fucker ruin her. “I didn’t go to the police because of this,” she turned over her arm showing me her scars again. “I was in the system, I had a therapist. It was my word against his.” Son of a bitch knew what he was doing.
“Your mother?” I somehow managed to spit out even though my jaw was locked shut with anger.
"She couldn't care less. She either turned a blind eye or believed Marcus. He was good at pretending and faking it. She was away a lot, traveling. I was in therapy and that was good enough for her." I would never hit a woman, but right now, I might just make an exception. Ella's mother was a first class royal bitch. I would like to say she didn't deserve to be a mother, but then there would be no Ella, and if I was to be honest, I don't think my life would be complete without Ella in it. Funny, how after only a few days I could happily accept that notion.
“What’s his full name, Marcus what?” She blinked those beautiful brown eyes calm and steady.
“Why?”
“I need to know where the fucker is Angel. I need to know if he is still a threat to you.” She simply stared at me, no tears in her eyes, only determination.
"He will always be a threat to me, he is a successful businessman and I am the only one that knows the truth about who he really is." I shook my head.
“As you said, it’s your word against his. He’s not stupid, he’s wrangled your life in such a way that he never has to look bad. He probably couldn’t care less where you are right now, but I need to check it out. I have to know you’re safe Angel. Anyway, living like you have been, running, hiding, that’s him still controlling you.” She didn’t answer me, chewing her bottom lip as she thought, looking far too sexy for the vulnerable woman she was right now.
“I don’t know Jax. I’ve kept myself safe by running, staying out of the system. If you start looking into something it might alert him. He has friends in the police force.” I shook my head, still holding her wrist, my thumb running comforting circles over her scars.
"I know people too, Ella. I'm military, I have connections. I can do this so no one but you and I will ever know. Please, let me protect you." I could see her mind working over my words, considering them.
"I need control, Jax. He took that away from me, I can't give that up, not for anybody."
"I know angel. I don't want to control you I just want to make sure you're safe." She sighed, and I could feel the defeat in her body as she slumped forward a little.
“Fairmont, Marcus Fairmont, of Pitcher & Fairmont Advertising in Dunston.” Over fifteen hundred miles away, she had put some distance between her and her demon.
"I won't fail you, Ella. You have my word." She nodded, looking a little overwhelmed.
“I never considered the way I was living was still giving him control, I never thought of it like that. I want my life back Jax.” And she would have it back, if it was the last thing I ever did.
Chapter 14
Ella
It seemed I had suddenly developed a chronic case of verbal diarrhea or the content control portion of my brain was on the fritz. Once the words started coming out, they didn’t stop, like a train master who was simply unable to pull the train up in time, I just motored right on. What would Jax think of me now, his little drug addicted, whoring Angel? God, I was as pathetic as Marcus told me. The disrespect I had shown myself, my body was shameful and then to top it off, I was running like a scared little rabbit, still allowing Marcus to control my life. I was living every second of every day with Marcus in my mind and it had to stop. Regardless of what Jax now thought of me, he said he would find out if Marcus was still searching for me, so that was a start. I could only hope that he had moved on to bigger and better things and if so, maybe I could have a future here in Claymont, anywhere for that matter. If I didn't have to live in fear of Marcus, I could go anywhere or be anything. Rubbing my head that thundered like a jackhammer I wondered if crawling into bed a good couple of hours before everyone else would be rude. I felt nauseous, old memories had been cracked open and I just wanted to curl up somewhere and forget. It was at times like this I could understand how easily I had fallen into the deep abyss of escape. Drugs and alcohol gave me that escape, but there was no way I would allow myself to travel that path again. It only leads to self-loathing, to self-harm. The occasional fruity cocktail was as far as I would drive that train, I was a reformed addict who needed to finally get a grip on her life. I needed to make changes and plan for a future.
Jax had left, he said he needed to make some phone calls, and now I stood in the middle of the common room, my head spinning with thoughts of past, present and a possible future. I noticed Annie by her and Eli's bed. She looked so happy, and she had every right to be. She had her own apartment, she would be leaving soon. I watched her for a moment as my mind recognized a crazy idea beginning to take shape. If I were to be honest, it had been gradually taking shape since I'd gone to see the apartment with Annie this evening. My feet began moving towards her before I had even realized what I was going to do and say.
I stood before Annie, watching her as she carefully folded clothes, tucking them away in her suitcase. She glanced at me and smiled.
“Penny for your thoughts Ella?” she asked as she continued to tidy up the small area she had tried to make somewhat homely with a few toys and a small framed picture of her and Eli.
“You look happy,” I noted. She finally shut the suitcase and sat on the edge of the squeaky bed.
"Less than a week and we're out of here. I've never had my own place. My husband and I were together in high school, then college. We always lived together. I am excited about having something that's my own." I understood wanting your things, your own space and it made me think what I was about to ask was simply selfish. But the quote ‘nothing ventured nothing gained’ rang over and over in my splitting head. Shuffling from one foot to the other nervously I played with the imaginary dirt on the floor before me.
"What's on your mind, Ella?" Annie asked again, patiently watching me.
“Umm, I was hoping to ask you a favor.” Annie patted the space beside her, suggesting I should sit. I did but instead of nervously shifting on my feet I now nervously fiddled with the drawstring on my hoody.
"I know you're just getting on your feet and the fact you just said you were looking forward to having your own place makes me reluctant to ask you this now. So you can say no, and I would prefer you did rather than take pity on me, I don't need pity." I was blabbering.
“Ella, if you need somewhere to stay for a while you’re more than welcome to stay with us. As long as you're happy with sleeping on a couch, which, to be honest, can't be any worse than the beds here, I'd love to have you stay with us."
I stared at her, surprised. I had talked myself into expecting a resounding 'no'. "Are you sure?"
"I sort of hoped that by taking you with me tonight you might have thought of coming to stay for a while. Can you pay a little towards expenses?" She asked, as if an afterthought.
“Of course, I’ll pay my way I’ll give you money towards rent and food. And if you need me to watch Eli I can do that too.” Annie smiled.
"Excellent. Then you’ll be helping me out. I've been offered a couple of dinner shifts at the diner, and I would like to take them, but I need someone to watch Eli. It would be Friday and Saturday nights, so it might cramp your social life a little." I laughed loudly.
“I barely have a life let-a-lone a social life. It’s fine, really. I work Tuesday to Saturday until five each day, so I’m completely free for babysitting duty in the evenings.” Annie clapped her hands together with excitement.
“Perfect.” I still wasn’t sure if she might regret this sooner rather than later.
“It won’t be for too long, just until I get on my feet with enough money to get a share room or small apartment. And you can ask me to leave at any time, I can always come back here.” Annie smiled and took my hand in hers.
"Honey, you shouldn't be here. None of us should be here. If I can help you get out then I would feel like I am somehow paying back Mercy's Shelter for taking care of Eli and me." I was no longer completely homeless. I had moved from an uncomfortable, lumpy bed in a homeless shelter to a couch. I’d lived in share accommodation before, never any less than four people in the one place at a time. It was cramped and the complete lack of privacy was downright uncomfortable. Living with Annie and Eli would be the closest I had come in four years to something that would almost resemble a normal family living situation. I smiled, suddenly feeling a little giddy, excited and nauseous all at the same time.
"Thank you, Annie," I breathed with relief, and she squeezed my hand and smiled back at me.
“Us girls have to stick together,” she smiled before I slipped away to my own bed.
My sleep that night was restless filled with horrifying visions of Marcus. I vaguely remember Mercy brushing my hair tenderly and whispering words to help soothe me back to sleep. When I finally woke, instead of feeling refreshed and wakeful I felt exhausted and emotional. I needed to keep myself busy, completely immerse my brain with something other than the bitter memories. Work was a great distraction. Rebecca excelled in keeping me on my toes and smiling. She had a sharp wit and humor that had us both laughing all day long. Once back at the shelter the snow had begun to fall, and I was starting to feel a little trapped in the converted warehouse. Annie was working, Eli was off playing with Dave and I was still restless, my memories having been cracked open the night before were obviously affecting me more than I thought they would. I walked aimlessly around the shelter. There wasn't much to do. Even the bathrooms were clean as a whistle but eventually my edgy temperament got the better of me and I decided to clean them anyway. When I finally reached the last bathroom, the smallest cubicle, I noticed a shiny bronze plaque at the bottom of one wall. I knelt down and gave it a rub with the rag, running my fingers over the words inscribed into the shiny metal.