Bear Heat: BBW Fireman Bear Shifter Romance (Firefighter Bears Book 1)

by Becca Fanning

  “The exam takes place tomorrow morning, same time and same place as class. I know it’s daunting – I know it’s worse than anything any of you ever did in high school or college, but the Forest wants the best, and this exam is one of the ways they choose their best recruits. I’ll see you all bright and early tomorrow morning. Get some rest – and study. Good luck.”

  The men all filed out of the classroom, with the exception of Sam, who stayed behind in his seat. Oh no. I’ve been waiting for this. It was only a matter of time…

  “What can I do for you, Sam?” she asked, moving back around her desk and sitting down at it. She wanted to put some distance between them. She needed to put some distance between them.

  She wanted him. More than anything. He was smart, funny, absolutely charming – what most would consider the perfect guy.

  He’s what I would consider the perfect guy. There isn’t a drop of anything bad inside him. And yet – here I am, keeping him at an arm’s distance.

  “You don’t have to do this, Brooke,” he was saying. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t told herself a hundred, maybe a thousand times before. “The class is about over. If I pass my exam, I’ll be a member of the Forest. And you won’t be my teacher anymore.”

  “If you pass?” she asked, trying to change the subject. “Sam, you are going to pass. I know it. Why would you say something like that?”

  He looked uncomfortable and said, “Brooke, please don’t change the subject. We’re adults, right? We’re allowed to do whatever it is that we want.”

  She’d thought about this a hundred times, too, but instead of the elaborate response she’d rehearsed in her mind over and over, she simply said, “No. That’s not how it works.”

  “It is!” he said, his hands flat on her desk inches from her own. She wanted to reach out and grab them, pull him close and kiss him, and tell him that he was right. They wouldn’t be student and teacher, and above all, who cared? They were adults. There was nothing wrong with two adults being together.

  “I can’t, Sam. You have a career at the Forest to think of. More than a career. I can’t let you give that all up for me.”

  “That’s not your choice!”

  “Sam, please leave my classroom,” she suddenly said. Saying it hurt.

  “After all of that? After I almost died, and you waited by my bed the entire time I was unconscious? Tell me it doesn’t mean something. Tell me I don’t mean something, Brooke.”

  “Leave,” she ordered. He looked like he was going to argue for a few moments. But then he just nodded, gave her a sad smile, and turned from her. There was a sort of finality in it. She hated to see him go – it was the last thing she wanted – but she wouldn’t jeopardize everything.

  He opened the door and stepped to the side as her father and Crichton came in. The latter spared a glance at Sam as they passed. Brooke didn’t like it.

  “Brooke,” her father said with his usual happy self. Underneath the smile, though, she could tell something was brewing, and it had nothing to do with what had happened when the building came down.

  She glared at Crichton, a man she had already grown to dislike, and said, “What can I do for you? Class is over, I’m just about ready to go home.”

  Crichton grabbed one of the extra chairs against the wall and brought it in front of Brooke’s desk. He sat down in front of her, exactly where Sam had stood not moments later. She found herself wishing Sam back in front of her instead of this – man. He was big, even as far as Shifters were concerned. He wasn’t as big as Norris, though he was close. His golden eyes didn’t grow as brightly as other Shifters. His smile was predatory. She shuddered – and he picked up on it.

  “What do you think about Sam Carver?” he asked.

  Brooke’s breath caught in her throat for a minute. “He’s a good student. A great student. Even with his first exam score, he’s well poised to pass this exam with lead marks, and in extension, pass the learning portion of the Forest exams. If he hadn’t made his mistake, he would be approaching this final with almost perfect scores. And he did save a fellow recruit when the building collapse, did he not?”

  “Hmmm,” Crichton muttered. There was silence in the room for a few moments and Brooke spared a glance at her father. He was now looking uncomfortable. Brooke hazarded a guess that she wasn’t going to like what was going to come next – politics. “And what do you think about Ryan Smith?”

  For a moment, she wanted to lie about the man. She didn’t like him – she knew that much. But she wanted to say how terrible of a student he was, how badly he treated others, but it would all be a lie. She knew that the man didn’t get along with others, especially Sam, but she hadn’t witnessed that too terribly much firsthand, so she couldn’t comment.

  “He’s a good student. Not one of the best and certainly not one of my worst. He’s going to pass the class, save for a major meltdown on tomorrow’s final.”

  “And how does he treat the other recruits, Brooke?” her father finally asked. There was something there in his voice, something she picked up on that she knew Crichton wouldn’t – some kind of…

  Pleading? Oh, no. I can’t, Dad… I can’t…

  “Does he treat them badly?” Crichton responded.

  “No, I wouldn’t go that far,” Brooke said carefully. Her father wanted her to throw him under the bus, because whatever Crichton was planning, it involved Smith and her father didn’t want that to happen. “He sometimes doesn’t always get along… exactly the best, with the rest of the men, though.”

  That’s as far as I can go. I can’t tell them that there’s something brewing between the men, with Sam and Smith on the forefront – I can’t tell them that.

  “But you could say that’s just normal rivalry? Just wanting to be the best in a class of exceptional peers, couldn’t you?” Crichton responded. He’d chosen his words carefully, too.

  “You could say that,” Brooke said. There was no way around it. He’d used his words to put her into a trap.

  “Good,” Crichton said. “I think that’s all the questions I have for today. I’ll let you get home and get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow. And just so you know, I am pleased with how this class went this year, Brooke. Absolutely pleased. We’d like to offer you another term. The details have yet to be hashed out – but if you want the job, you just say the word.”

  “Thank you,” Brooke said. “I’ll think about it – once the exam is over, of course.”

  “Of course,” he said, flashing that predatory smile. “Sharp?”

  “Just one moment, Crichton,” he said. “I need a moment alone with my daughter.”

  Brooke felt her heart jump in her chest – it was supposed to be a secret. But Crichton just said, “Of course,” without even the merest hint of a surprise, and she knew that he had known for a while now. Then he left the room and the two of them were alone.

  “What’s going on, Dad?”

  Her father collapsed in the chair that Crichton had previously occupied. He suddenly looked tired.

  “You understand I’m not the one in charge around here?” he asked. She nodded. “It may say so on the job description, but I’m anything but.” He paused for a few more seconds. “The idea was to pick one of the recruits out of the class and use him as a figurehead for the Forest. A man that rose from nothing, finished at the top of his class, and instead of moving straight to grunt work, he helped run the place. Imagine the morale boost. I know you’ve never paid much attention to Shifter politics – you just viewed me as your dad, not some mythical being – but that’s not how everyone sees us. Sure, many know we exist, some accept that, but even fewer are actually okay with it.

  “You can imagine the prejudice against our kind. It’s horrible, Brooke. It’s not outward, all the time, but it’s always there, somewhere. Not unlike a teacher who gives out fair, but less than desirable marks on a test, I imagine.” They both laughed for a moment. “So the idea was to make the Forest more public. Get more
attention to us, the good that we’ve done. Get more recruits. Open up other Shifter fire departments, especially the ones that closed. Maybe a police department in a few years’ time.”

  Brooke nodded. “I never knew.”

  “It’s big, Brooke. All this political nonsense – it’s bigger than just a few fires. It shouldn’t be – it should be about saving lives, helping those that need it. But instead it’s some political nonsense. We needed the new face of the Forest.”

  “And you chose Sam.”

  “We did – but since the building collapse, he’s been a bit uncooperative with Crichton’s requests.” Oh, Sam. No. Don’t do this to yourself. “Crichton wants to replace Sam with Charles Smith. He’s the hero they need.”

  “He can’t. Smith isn’t even the best student around here… Sam saved his life in that building.”

  “The narrative can be rewritten, Brooke. It already has been. Crichton and the others – the statement they’re crafting – won’t have Sam in it at all.” Brooke knew she looked crushed. “You like him, don’t you?”

  “I do,” she said. There was no use denying it. “But I would never let anything happen between us. I didn’t want to jeopardize his life. He’ll still be a member of the Forest, right?”

  Her father got up and shrugged his massive shoulders. “I’m not in charge. Not completely. But if he shows up and passes that test tomorrow, I’ll do everything in my power to assure you that he gets fair treatment and becomes a part of the Forest. It’s what he deserves.”

  And the next morning, when Brooke handed out the exams, Sam’s seat was empty.

  His apartment was cold, even for his tastes. It didn’t feel like home anymore, but it was still his, paid for by his meager pay as a Forest recruit. He didn’t know why he kept paying rent on a place he wasn’t living, but now, he was thankful for it.

  Sam stood in the open doorway for a few moments just looking around, and then he stepped inside and closed the door. There was his bed on the floor, and he could honestly say he didn’t miss it much. The beds in the bunk room back at the Forest weren’t the most comfortable he’d ever slept on, but they were better than his old one.

  There were a few random piles of clothes here and there. Sam reached up to flip on the light to get a better look but nothing happened – while he still payed rent on the apartment, he realized he’d forgotten to pay for electricity. He meandered over to the sink and turned the faucet on. The water still worked, he found, but only the cold – he hadn’t paid his gas bill either, as evidenced by the cold.

  He still had some money saved up. It wasn’t much but it would be enough to pay rent for another month and turn the heat and electricity back on. He could finally get a real job, maybe something he could turn into a career if he worked hard enough.

  Or I could work nonstop so I won’t have to think about what I’ve just done.

  He glanced at the clock on the wall – sometime in the past few months, either the batteries had died or it had been so cold the thing had just froze up – so he didn’t know the exact time, but he knew it was past the time the exam was to have started.

  And he wasn’t there.

  He’d known what he was going to do since the day he’d seen Brooke walk out of the hospital. He wasn’t going to play games any longer with his future. Sam knew he was in control of it – and he wouldn’t sit back while men like Crichton pulled strings and chose what he would be doing with the rest of his life.

  Of course, he’d wanted the Forest more than anything. Until he’d met Brooke, that is. She’d completely changed his life and he couldn’t imagine it without her.

  Sam had tried telling himself that his life would go on. There were other jobs out there, other women – but he couldn’t bring himself to see himself working somewhere else or being with someone else. It just didn’t seem real.

  But I don’t have much of a choice, do I?

  He crossed the kitchen to the table and threw down a stack of newspapers he’d picked up on the way here. There weren’t many jobs posted in the papers any longer, but they would have to do, at least until he could get a phone or make it to the library. He crossed the small apartment and opened the dusty and frozen curtains, letting in some weak light. The weather was still bad – he didn’t think it would ever get any better – but it offered enough sunlight to let him read the papers.

  He felt as if he were starting over from nothing again, though at least this time, he had an apartment, a little bit of cash, and a bed.

  But I don’t have her. I don’t have Brooke. And I don’t have a dream anymore.

  He found that not being a part of the Forest didn’t bother him as much as he figured it would have. He was crushed, of course, but nothing compared to losing Brooke.

  He hadn’t shown up to make a point to Brooke, though. He wasn’t trying to win her back. He knew he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t even try.

  He just… had given up.

  What does that make me? Maybe I was never cut out for any of this, after all.

  There was a knock on his door and he almost jumped in his chair – he growled at himself. He should have known someone was approaching his door but he had been so lost in his thoughts about the Forest, and mainly Brooke, that he hadn’t even noticed.

  Before he could get out of the chair and approach the door, though, the door opened and McCready walked into the apartment.

  “Sir – I…” Sam stammered for a moment. Then he realized that McCready had no sway over him any longer, and then he felt a surge of shame at just walking away without a word to anyone else. He owed McCready that, at least.

  The ex-Sergeant shut the door and walked over to the table, testing one of Sam’s rickety chairs before sitting down in it carefully.

  “Sir, I’m sorry,” Sam said. It was all he could think to say.

  “I would have done the same thing, Sam,” McCready said – and he sounded tired. “I don’t blame you for what you did, though I wish you would have given me a little head’s up. It would have saved me a headache dealing with Crichton and an even bigger headache tracking your scent down the frozen alleyways of New York.”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to,” Sam explained. “I thought about it. I imagined myself walking up to you and telling you I was quitting and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t imagine the disappointment I would be causing you. And I couldn’t bear to face Crichton or Sharp or any of those other bosses.”

  “Like I said, I don’t blame you. But I have to know, son. Why’d you do it? Was it the girl?” he asked. Sam felt his heart jump in his throat. He had thought things were a bit more secretive, but he realized not. “Or was it because of what they were doing to you? Jerking you around one way and then another?”

  Sam paused for a moment and thought of no reason to lie. “Both. Ever since I was a young kid, as far back as I can remember, I dreamed of being a member of the Forest. My dad was a firefighter. Not in the Forest, of course, but I remembered thinking how great it was that he saved other people’s lives. I wanted that. More than anything. So I dreamed and I trained and I worked my entire life to be a member of the Forest.

  “And look – I made it. Not completely, of course. I was in. And then I met Brooke, and like a little kid, I got distracted. I slipped. Almost failed out of the Forest altogether. You would think it would be a harsh wake up call, wouldn’t you? Give me a realization that I’d almost lost everything I’ve been working and dreaming my entire life for?

  “But it wasn’t like that, not completely. I realized that there was more to life than just work, even if it was the Forest. I still wanted to save people, but I realized something. I needed saving in a way. It was stupid. But Brooke made me realize there was more to life. I could be happy. Look around you, Sarge. This is how I lived for years trying to make my big break. I wasn’t happy.”

  “She made you happy, though.”

  “Yeah,” Sam said. “Yeah, she did. And as I learned more about the Forest, and w
hat my part was to be in it, I felt myself slipping, ever so slightly, towards her. I still wanted to be a member of the Forest, but I didn’t want to be a pawn. I didn’t want to be a political figurehead for them. I wanted to save people, not to be told what to do and where to do it. And as the days passed, I fell more away from my dream and more towards the girl.

  “I couldn’t have her, though. She wouldn’t let me sacrifice my entire life for her.”

  “She’s smart.”

  “I know,” Sam told the other man. He looked at Sam with a sad look – not one of outrage or bewilderment like Sam had imagined he would have. “I guess that was the final straw, in the scheme of things. It’s what made me walk away. She wouldn’t risk my career – and I realized that it wasn’t a career I even wanted anymore.”

  “I don’t blame you,” McCready said. “I wish I could have been as strong as you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not the first member of the Forest to have to choose between a girl and the job,” McCready said. He suddenly looked sad and very old, though truth be told, he wasn’t that much older than Sam. “I was young when the Forest started. Things were different back then, you understand. There weren’t these rigorous exams. They had tests, of course, but we were young and strong and they were easy. But it wasn’t prestigious back then.

  “There was a promise of excitement, some danger, the glory – it was all there. And I met a girl and I fell madly in love with her. She told me something that I knew; it was either her, or move across the country and truly be a member of the Forest. She told me I had to choose the Forest. She told me she made the choice for me, and I believed it. I left her, Sam. I left her and told myself I never looked back.

  “But it wasn’t true. I left her behind and there isn’t a day that goes by that I question the choice I made.”

  “Was it the right one?”

  McCready got up and shrugged his shoulders.

  “Truth be told, I don’t know. The state of things now, maybe not. If you would have asked me five years ago, maybe my answer would be different. The thing is, though, is that you have a choice. You can do what you feel is right, and if you know in your heart you made the right choice, then it doesn’t matter, does it?”