The Mountain Valley War

by M. A. Carlson

  “I’ll have you know, I’m always awesome,” Micaela stated. “Tell him, Vision.”

  The blue spirit wolf faded into view next to her. “Tell him what?” he asked, looking up at her.

  “Tell him that I’m awesome,” Micaela instructed.

  “Boss is awesome,” Vision said, looking at Titan. Then he looked back up at Micaela. “I get petting for that, right?”

  Titan just laughed, though his eyes were fixed on the wolf, or rather the spot the wolf had been standing.

  “Moving on, this is Bye-bye Jacko, Rose’s boyfriend,” Baby said, introducing me.

  I held out a hand only for Titan to move behind Baby, using her as a shield as he looked at the hand nervously.

  “Relax, Teddy,” Rose said, giggling. “Jack is . . . kind of normal. Plus, you’ve got eighty levels on him.”

  I was a little confused. “Wha . . . ?”

  “It’s nothing,” Rose said quickly. “Uh, you see . . . my last male friend might have gone a little overboard when he met Teddy.”

  “Overboard, is that what you call it?” Titan asked. “He broke my hand.”

  “Oh please, he just . . . shook your hand, it wasn’t his fault you’re so frail,” Rose said.

  I wondered just what kind of men Rose dated but then I figured we all had a past and this might be one part of her past I didn’t want to dredge up, or even know about for that matter.

  “Rosie,” Baby growled.

  “What?” Rose asked, purposely not meeting Baby’s eyes.

  “I promise, I won’t break your hand,” I said, offering my hand again. I hoped that I could smooth things over.

  Titan studied me for a moment before his paw gripped my waiting hand.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I said.

  “Same,” Titan replied.

  “What . . . uh . . . what kind of bear is that?” I asked, looking up at Perses.

  “Percy, he’s a blue ursa major, a kind of bear. I tamed him when I was level 53. He killed me at least nine times before I was finally able to get him,” Titan answered.

  “Where did you find him?” I asked, letting my curiosity go a little.

  “Blue Mountains of Pagra,” Titan asked. “Nasty place, if the bears don’t kill you, the Kobolds will. Good times.”

  “That sounds like fun,” I said. “What were the Kobolds like?”

  “They were very tribal, always working in groups of three or more. Their Shamans were a pain to fight but the experience was solid,” Titan answered.

  “How were the quests in the province?” I asked, figuring that if he was that high of a level then he must have the same understanding of quests we did, maybe even more.

  “Non-existent,” Titan said. “I don’t think I’ve gotten a single quest in at least seventy levels.”

  I blinked then blinked again. “You gained seventy levels by grinding?” I asked, not quite believing what I was hearing.

  “Yeah, not like you have any other choice,” Titan said with a laugh, clearly, he didn’t notice I was staring at him in disbelief.

  I blinked again. Then I looked toward Baby and back to Titan. “Okay, this might be a stupid question, but . . . uh . . . you do talk to the NPC’s, don’t you?”

  “Sure, I always check in with the local safe zone, ask around for quests, not that they ever have them. I imagine they still need to patch quests for the higher zones. I don’t think Seed Inc ever expected anyone to level up as fast as I have. Anyway, after seeing if I can help out, I move on and just grind it out,” Titan answered.

  “I told you, you should make a video, Bye-bye,” Micaela said, having apparently listened in on the discussion.

  I wanted very badly to facepalm. I really did.

  “Baby, have you really not told your fiancé anything about how to play this game?” I asked, looking back to my Fairy friend.

  “Excuse me,” said Titan, sounding offended.

  I looked back at Titan. The supposedly most powerful player in the game. I examined him more closely. His armor didn’t appear to be very high quality, it was also mismatched, probably looted from the monsters he was killing. He didn’t have any judgments against him, but I still wondered about the Kobolds he said he killed, were they actually an intelligent group he just killed for experience? Were they even enemies until he attacked them? “No, I don’t think I will,” I said. “You, the highest-level player in this game, are an idiot.”

  I heard Rose snort a laugh behind me and I could feel Baby fidgeting nervously behind me.

  Titan meanwhile looked absolutely flabbergasted. “You’ve got a lot of nerve. I could crush you. And you think I’m the idiot?” he asked.

  “Yes, I do,” I answered. “And to explain to you why, let me ask you a simple question.”

  “Alright, let’s hear this simple question,” Titan said, crossing his arms.

  “What is your Charisma stat at?” I asked. The fact that he hadn’t found any quests in seventy level meant he probably didn’t have much Charisma. That he said he also died several times trying to tame Perses also suggests he has a low Charisma stat.

  “My Charisma is at 216, highest in the game as far as I know,” said Titan, sounding proud of himself.

  “Sorry, one more question,” I started. “What do you think my Charisma is at?”

  “I don’t know, 25, maybe 30, you are part Human so that should have given you at least one point every level,” Titan answered.

  “198,” I said. “My Charisma is at 198.”

  “What the hell?” Titan shouted. “How? How is that even possible? I know almost all the highest-level players and my Charisma is 50 points higher than the next closest player to my level.”

  “Never meet your heroes,” I grumbled. Titan wasn’t necessarily a hero to me, but he was someone I respected . . . or used to respect. “What is wrong with you? You do know, the most advanced AI’s in the world, run this game, right?”

  “Of course, I know that. That’s why everything looks as good as it does. It’s why you can feel, taste and smell everything!” Titan snapped.

  “You really haven’t noticed?” I asked.

  “Noticed what?” Titan asked hotly.

  “Every single NPC has their own AI!” I shouted back, feeling unbelievably angry with this shortsighted, ignorant teddy bear. “They are capable of real conversation. Every single one of them.”

  “Bull,” Teddy stated.

  My mouth hung open for a moment. I snapped my mouth shut with a click and took a few breaths, trying to calm down. “Vision,” I said, calling the pup to my side.

  “Yes, Minion Number Two?” Vision asked, trotting over to me.

  “What’s your favorite thing in the whole world?” I asked.

  “Getting scratched behind the ears of course,” Vision answered as if I was stupid.

  “How do you feel about Micaela?” I asked.

  “Boss? She’s the best. She takes me on fun adventures . . . though that last one was terrible . . . stupid evil spirit,” Vision answered, grumbling that last part.

  “Thanks, buddy,” I said, giving him a good scratch behind the ears. “And that is just a familiar.”

  Titan had a look of disbelief on his face. “But . . . I’ve talked to them. I’ve asked for quests.”

  “First, if I walked up to you and said ‘hey, give me a quest’ how would you react? No ‘hello’ or ‘how are you today?’ or any other questions to get to know you. Of course, you wouldn’t, who would? It’s also why your Charisma is so bad for your level,” I said. “People are even less likely to talk to you and offer you quests with a bad Charisma stat, especially if you are only demanding a quest.”

  “That’s . . .” Titan started then cursed. “You’re not messing with me?”

  I shook my head, “Not messing with you.”

  “Who knows about this?” Titan asked.

  I shrugged. “I’ve told my friends. Shared with people I’ve met. I don’t know who they’ve told about this.�
��

  “You need to do a tutorial,” Titan said, staring at me intently. “I’ll help you, publish it on my account if you’re willing, it should get you a lot of views.”

  I was slightly taken aback by the suggestion. Was he really suggesting I should create user guides? Wasn’t that usually his thing? “That’s not really my thing,” I tried to protest.

  “Nonsense, everyone wants to be famous,” Titan said.

  “Yeah, I don’t,” I said. “I’m playing this game for the adventure and to spend time with my friends. To hunt down ‘Easter Eggs’ and find some really cool stuff.”

  “Ha, now you’re even calling yourself the ‘cool stuff finder’,” Micaela added unhelpfully.

  “Anyway, I’m happy to teach you what I know, but . . . the spotlight really isn’t my place,” I said.

  “I don’t like taking credit from what someone else has accomplished. I do try to give credit where credit is due. You figured out something I think the rest of us grinders completely missed,” Titan said. “Look, just think about it. I know you guys have some big province event today and I’m kind of excited to watch. I haven’t even heard of something like this before.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I said. I didn’t want fame. I didn’t need money. But having a friend like Titan might come in handy later on.

  Titan sighed, accepting my decision, at least for now. “Damn, leveling would have been so much easier with a few quests along the way.”

  Rose grinned behind me. “I kind of like seeing you eat crow, Teddy. Just wait until Jack tells you about the skill books and how Lore works. You’re really going to crap yourself then.”

  “Skill books?” Titan asked, looking at me intently.

  I sighed. “Thanks a lot, Rose.”

  “Anything for you, Jack,” Rose snarked right back at me and blew me a mock kiss.

  “I get the feeling this is going to be a longer conversation,” said Titan.

  “Tonight, after the first stage of this siege,” I said, assuming the attack wasn’t pressed through the night. Then I saw the first player coming out of the barracks and more just behind him.

  “What is this event anyway, Babs only told me there was some kind of castle siege today?” Titan asked.

  “I’ll explain on the way,” said Baby, fluttering over to her fiancé and taking his arm.

  “Why don’t you all ride out with me on Percy, here?” Titan offered, motioning to the ladder that dangled over the side. “I’ll even do some video, give you all an awesome intro video. I planned to record whatever I can today anyway so this should be fun.”

  Titan was relentless with the filming thing. I supposed I could acquiesce to this one small request. “Fine, sure, as soon as Olaf gets here. He might take a little longer, he’s the highest rank player in the province,” I said.

  “Rank? What are you . . . ? What the hell?” Titan asked, looking at me like I had grown a second head. His eyes were firmly set on my nameplate where I had just turned on my ‘Hammerton Captain’ title. “How did you get a title?”

  “Quests,” I answered. I probably shouldn’t tell him about my other titles.

  “Ha, that’s nothing,” Rose said. “He’s got five other titles to boot, including one that triples the effect of his Charisma while in Hammerton.”

  “Rosie, you are enjoying this way too much,” Baby said.

  “You bet I am,” Rose said, grinning from ear to ear. “He might have the highest level in the game but he’s really just a noob. I love it. Wait until you tell him about your own titles, Sis.”

  Titan looked sharply at his fiancé. “Wait, you knew about all of this. And you didn’t tell me?”

  Baby looked guilty. “You were so preoccupied last time we were together in the real world. I didn’t want to distract you. I know how important all this is to you.”

  Titan looked angry for a second, but it disappeared just as fast. “I’m a real jerk,” he said as if he just realized how nervous Baby was. “I’m sorry, Babs. I should have paid more attention to you.”

  “You’re not . . . mad?” Baby asked.

  “Only with myself,” Titan said with a heavy sigh.

  “You are a jerk. Ever treat my sister like that again, and I will call up that ex to really break you,” Rose threatened.

  “Yeah, that seems fair,” said Titan.

  “Yo, you ready to go?” Olaf asked, finally emerging from the barracks with Mardi and Gras at his side.

  “Yeah, you seen Heath?” I asked, realizing our resident Thief was AWOL.

  “I’m here, mates,” said Heath, popping up behind Titan, with a dagger at the bear’s throat.

  “Hey, what the hell, Heath,” I said, worried about what Heath was doing.

  “Tighty-Whitie and I go way back,” Heath said, pulling the dagger away. “Just wanted to see something.”

  Titan turned around stared at Heath. “What the hell happened to you? And why is your name different?”

  Heath grinned. “First, Morte Afficitur was a fake name, an illusion spell. Second, I had an unfortunate run-in with a Warrior Priest of some God of Justice, she gave me a quick sendoff back to level 1. Though I suppose now, I would say it was a fortunate run in, depending on how you look at it. Anyway, no hard feelings?”

  “Now I’m even more confused,” said Titan, blinking dazedly.

  “Right, confusion is fun and all, but we have a city to storm,” said Olaf.

  “The offer for a ride still good?” I asked.

  “What? Ride? Oh, right, yes. Please climb aboard,” Titan said, motioning to the ladder.

  I grinned a little and took a step forward and activated my ‘Body Control’ subskill ‘Jump’, easily hopping to the waiting platform.

  Titan looked up at me agape. “Now, how did you do that?”

  “Bye-bye is kind of . . . special,” Olaf said with a grin, offering one of his large hands out to the Bearman. “Olaf Crushhammer, sorry we didn’t get to meet earlier.”

  “Nice to meet you,” said Titan, his whole arm was engulfed in the large Minotaur’s hand in the handshake.

  “Allow me to introduce, Duchess Mardi du Hammer, the leader of Hammerton,” Olaf said, introducing Mardi first.

  Titan looked a little out of place and unsure of what to do.

  “No need to bow. We’re going to be late for the battle at this rate,” said Mardi. “It is nice to meet you, but we really must be going.” With that Mardi approached the ladder and began climbing up.

  “And Gras du Anvil, he is the banished son of the Duke Shrove du Anvil. He’s the guy we’re on our way to kill,” Olaf said, introducing Gras and explaining why we were attacking Anvilton.

  Gras nodded once to Titan then began his climb up the ladder just behind Mardi.

  “Okay, I think I need an explanation of everything going on,” said Titan.

  Rose grinned, striding past Titan but not before giving him a patronizing pat on the head. “Don’t worry little noob teddy bear, we’ll catch you up eventually.”

  It took another minute for everyone to climb the ladder and then another minute for Titan to get the bear moving.

  “You really need to improve your Charisma,” I said again, watching Titan struggle to move his bear.

  Chapter 33

  We heard the battle echoing off the large rock formations that filled the valley long before we saw the fight, even with the elevated view the platform on Perses’s back gave us. The loud booms and the explosions that followed were clear indicators of which way to go.

  Titan’s bear was more than a little awesome. I was highly entertained when it stepped on a Rock Giant and instantly crushed it. The bear didn’t even notice as it continued forward.

  The platform was a large rectangle, probably 15-feet across by 20-feet long, the wooden planks were tightly formed together and the railing that surrounded it was sturdy if only knee height to me. I noticed there were holes drilled into the railing at regular intervals, but I didn’t know what they w
ere for. In the center of the platform were a few chests and a single cot. It seemed Titan also used the bear as a campsite. At the front of the platform, just behind Perses’s head was a chair and reigns.

  “What class are you anyway?” I asked, standing next to Titan’s chair.

  “Beast Battle Rider,” Titan answered. “I tame beasts large enough to ride and then I fight from them. What about you?”

  “I’m a Warrior Priest for the Goddess Issara,” I answered.

  “What’s that?” Titan asked.

  “Like a Paladin,” I said, it was too complicated to explain at the moment. “Just . . . different.”

  “So, I noticed Perses is kind of big . . . how did he fit through the portal?” I asked.

  Titan laughed. “The portals enlarge if necessary, it’s a feature specifically to accommodate siege beasts like Perses here,” Titan explained.

  “Okay, and what’s a siege beast?” I asked. I imagined it just meant extra large animals but the siege part of that might mean something more.

  “The platform I equipped on Perses here makes it a kind of siege engine. I should be able to use him to transport a large fighting force to attack castles and the like. I’ve never seen it done but that’s what the tooltip says. It’s part of the reason I came today. After Babs said she was laying siege to a castle in her letter I knew I had to come to see it,” Titan explained. “Plus, it was a great excuse to come visit her for a few days in game before we log off for a week.”

  I wanted to ask more questions, like how he does dungeons and Titan probably would have shared more, but it looked like the cannons were just coming into view, which meant the front gate of Anvilton would also be in view soon. Another volley of cannon fire rang out.

  “Okay, we have two mission options,” Olaf said, getting everyone’s attention. “Option one, we can guard the cannons, we’ll need to keep them safe until that gate is cracked open. Option two, we charge the field. Bye-bye, we haven’t seen any players on Anvilton’s side higher than level twenty in the last few days. I don’t know if they decided to keep them in reserve for today, but I think it might be best if we go with option two, just in case we need your spell. Colonel Grandmite said the attackers will come in waves. Anyone that gets past the charge will attack the cannons.”