by Kelly Myers
“You’ll have to fill me in on what a great summer entails for farmers,” I said.
Olivia laughed. She had an adorable laugh, somewhere between a giggle and a wistful sigh. I had spent far more time than I cared to admit wondering why Olivia’s laugh always seemed to have a tinge of sadness to it.
“The rain has been consistent, but not overwhelming,” Olivia said. “So the sun hasn’t dried any crops out.”
“Ah,” I said.
Olivia furrowed her brows at me.
“Did you want a coffee for yourself?” she asked.
I jolted in surprise. I had been so focused on Olivia, I had forgotten where we were. I quickly slid a mask of composure over my face and nodded.
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
I stood up and crossed to the counter to order an iced cold brew. I glanced back at Olivia to see her staring out the window with a peaceful expression on her face.
I knew she got overwhelmed in the city, she had told me during her internship. That was part of the reason I had rushed over here. Her email had been light and casual, but I had worried that maybe she was anxious or lost or upset.
I could still remember the first time I saw Olivia. Richard Francis was hardly a close friend of mine, but we had been in the same fraternity at Yale, although he was a few years older. He was an investment banker in New York and we occasionally ran into each other at dinner parties or at our social club, The University Club.
Richard was the kind of man who talked a big game, but I always suspected he was full of hot air. He had a solid career, but he wasted his spare time by getting too drunk at social events and chasing young models.
When he had told me he had a totally clueless half-sister who he needed to support because their father was dead and her mother (not Richard’s mom) was a crazy evangelist from the backwoods of Upstate New York, I had taken that story with a grain of salt.
When it turned out she was getting good grades at a good college, I was happy to give her an internship. Richard thanked me and I thought nothing of it.
Until her first day.
I had been returning from a long and involved meeting with a client’s soon-to-be ex when I saw her. Deborah was showing Olivia around the office, so at first I just saw the side of her face and a long sweep of dark hair. She was wearing simple, sturdy clothes, which I soon realized was classic Olivia. Tapered black slacks with loafers. A button-down white blouse.
The simple clothes did nothing to hide her beauty. In fact, they only enhanced it. She was short but lean and almost athletic under the clothes, I could tell.
When she turned and nodded along to something Deborah said, I was nearly struck dumb. Her wide face with the massive cornflower blue eyes captivated me.
As soon as I could, I had pulled Debroah into my office and asked her who the new girl was. Deborah had been surprised. I had never messed around with any women in the office. The thought of how messy that could get was disgusting to me.
And then Deborah had told me it was Olivia Francis, the intern. A college student. Barely twenty years old. I had to hide my mortification by nodding and telling Deborah I had thought so. I needed to make sure I grabbed coffee with her to chat, and put it on my calendar.
I thought knowing that Olivia was so young would do something to stifle my attraction, but it didn’t. And when I talked to her and found her charming, intelligent and kind, it had only been worse.
I had been glad when she opted to work on an organic farm over law school. Olivia was smart, but she deserved better than the cutthroat environment of the law. She was on a moral high ground compared to pretty much everyone else.
She looked even better this summer. As I returned to the table in the corner with my iced coffee in hand, I noted how tan she had gotten from being outdoors. Her soft cheeks were practically glowing, and her eyes seemed to sparkle. She looked healthy too. During her internship at the office, she had seemed to grow wan and pale. I even took her out for a few meals, just to make sure she was eating. Something about the city didn’t agree with her though. She was like some sort of mystical wood nymph; she belonged out in nature.
I shook my head to dispel my whimsical thoughts and focused on Olivia in front of me.
“How long are you in the city?” I asked.
“Just for tonight,” Olivia said. “I met with a bunch of restaurants today to sort out orders, and I’m crashing with my friend Grace.”
“Which restaurants?”
Olivia rattled off the names, and then explained which crops sold best (which meant I would never be able to eat an asparagus for the rest of the year without thinking of her).
“And how’s the office?” she asked. “How’s Deborah?
I gave her updates.
It had occurred to me, in our random meet-ups during and since the internship, that Olivia thought of me as a father-figure. It had become obvious right off the bat, that Richard might give himself airs, but he wasn’t actually that interested in Olivia. He had barely checked in on her during her summer in the city, and he had been borderline-cruel about her decision to work at Fairweather Farm. Olivia was too kindhearted to say anything negative about Richard, so she talked about him with polite indifference.
And when she looked at me with such light in her eyes and chattered away about the farm and the other workers there, I could see how starved she was for someone to care. To actually give her attention and tell her they were proud of her.
I had never met her mother, but I gathered that she did care, only her love manifested in strict rules and cold treatment. Olivia had been terrified to even try a sip of wine once when I took her out to dinner.
I was honored that she looked at me as a father, even a bit. It wasn’t her fault that I would have been much more happy to be her daddy. To take her to my apartment and do things to her body that would make her scream.
I cut my fantasy short. That was all it could ever be: a fantasy.
I grinned at her and leaned closer across the table, as if I was about to let her in on a huge secret. Olivia’s eyes widened before she blinked rapidly, making her dark lashes flutter.
“We actually are about to land a huge case,” I told her. “It’s still under wraps but Spencer Ryan and Kate Burns are splitting.”
I was rewarded for my dramatic delivery by Olivia’s reactions. She clamped one hand to her mouth as she gasped.
“Really?” she asked. “I mean, that’s terrible for them, but I can’t say I’m surprised.”
Olivia hadn’t been meant for the law, but she did adore a bit of gossip as much as the next woman. I was happy to indulge.
“You’re not?” I asked. “I’m not always up to date on these things, but Deborah said they’re something of a power couple.”
Olivia shrugged.
“Power doesn’t mean love,” Olivia said. “Besides, they each seem to be busy doing things for their own careers, never together.”
“Fair point,” I said.
That was classic Olivia. Wise beyond her years.
She was the one thing I didn’t have, but she was also the one thing I could never touch. It would be crossing a line. She was too young, too good, too pure.
Also too strange. Olivia was a bit of an odd bird, truth be told. She wasn’t a party girl, nor was she an over-ambitious corporate femme fatale. She had friends, but she preferred to spend time alone. Her dream job was working on a farm – that wasn’t normal for a twenty-two-year-old.
Any man who got involved with Olivia couldn’t just bed her. She was too complicated and nuanced. He would have to know her, deeply and fully.
I could know her that way. That was what a small voice inside me was always whispering whenever I saw her. If I had the chance, I could capture her for myself.
But I would never get the chance. I would never pressure her, or even plot a seduction.
“So which one are you representing?” Olivia asked.
“Kate,” I said. “Her people called
this morning.”
Our ploy had worked. We pushed Spencer Ryan off and reached out to Kate Burns, and they had come pounding on our door.
“Good,” Olivia said. “I like her.”
We chatted for a while longer, until Olivia glanced at her watch and gave a little jump.
“Oh, I’ve got to go meet Grace at her place,” Olivia said. “And I’m sure you’ve got to get back to work.”
I shrugged. I would have gladly spent another two hours with her.
Olivia stood up and swung her bag over her shoulder. I stared at the way her upper arm curved into her elbow. I wanted to run my finger along that curve and watch her shiver at my touch.
I swallowed hard and stood up.
“Thanks so much for meeting me last minute,” Olivia said.
She reached out her hand, and I took it.
We had never gone beyond a handshake. Olivia wasn’t a touchy person to begin with, and I had made sure to keep everything above board. No blurred lines or lingering hugs.
We headed out onto the street, which was cooling down now that it was late afternoon.
Olivia waved her hand and walked away. I turned as well, but couldn’t help turning back. She had glanced over her shoulder as well, and she laughed as she waved one more time.
As always, her laugh sounded just a little sad.
Chapter Five
Olivia
I felt better about everything after meeting William. It was amazing how he could do that. When he walked into a room, he just assumed control and seemed to magically make everyone calm down and follow his lead.
I had seen him use this to powerful effect in the courtroom, where he could be quite scary. But during coffee with me, all the lines on his face softened. He still radiated power, but it was never threatening.
I had probably kept him too long though. There was no way he was that interested in the farm, and I felt I had babbled too much. He certainly had more important things to do than catch up with me.
Richard would have said so. He was always crystal clear that any time he spent with me was taken away from other valuable pursuits. His time was given piecemeal and with constant reminders of how it was so kind of him to give me a piece.
We had arranged to have lunch the next day, and I was already dreading it. Richard had informed me that he had to move a very important meeting to fit in a quick lunch, just to make sure I felt guilty.
Or maybe he wanted me to feel grateful. I never could understand Richard, he was so all over the place, like a well-dressed and wealthy weathervane.
I was grateful for him. He had helped me out throughout my life, getting me internships and making sure my grades were good. He had even helped pay for my college, and he made sure I would never forget that.
I supposed he had made some long-ago promise to my father that he would look out for me. Or perhaps it was my mother who had pressured Richard into it.
I loved my mother, but she was a stubborn and a hard woman. When I had wondered if we should actually take money from Richard for my college, she had declared that he was “my blood,” I was owed his support.
She also had not been pleased when I chose to work on the farm. She thought she had raised me for better things.
She was coming round though. Now every time I visited her, she sighed and talked about how pretty soon I ought to find a nice rich man to settle down with.
She didn’t think I was capable of navigating my own way in the world. She never had. Every day, she reminded me to not make mistakes. Not to sleep around or get involved with the wrong type of guy. Not to run wild with friends.
I knew why she was like that. I was her only daughter, and she wanted me to be safe and secure. Her life had not turned out the way she wanted. Her marriage had ended after a few short years, and she was left struggling to make ends meet. She wanted better for me. But I didn’t think she realized how scared she had made me. Fear had paralyzed me for most of my life.
It hurt too, knowing that she didn’t have faith in me. She thought I was always one misstep away from ruining my life. She thought I needed a rich husband to take care of me, when in fact, I was capable of taking care of myself. I had won a partial scholarship to college, so in the end Richard didn’t even need to pay as much in tuition, and I had a solid if not glamorous job.
I sighed and re-focused on the street signs. I could have taken the subway a few stops to Grace’s place, but I had opted to walk.
I had even almost invited William to walk a little bit of the way with me. Which was silly. He would have said yes just to be nice, but then I would have felt ridiculous and selfish for making him waste his time.
I turned the corner, only a few quiet blocks to Grace’s apartment building left. I looked up and savored the big green trees.
William Hart was the exact type of man I would trust with my virginity. I knew it was wrong to crave someone so much older, and I knew it would never happen, but I couldn’t change how I felt. He was responsible and sophisticated. I knew he would take control.
My stomach fluttered just imagining how it would feel to be held in William’s arms.
I shook my head to banish the vision. I reminded myself, for the hundredth time, that he was old enough to be my father.
That was probably why I liked him. Could it be so wrong to crave a man who was sure of himself and established in life? A man who didn’t need a woman to baby him and coddle him?
I couldn’t pretend to be experienced, but I had noticed that men my own age expected a girlfriend to be a lover, a mother and a maid, all in one.
I stopped at the door to Grace’s apartment building. Case in point: Grace’s boyfriend Cliff couldn’t even make himself a quesadilla.
I rang Grace’s buzzer and hoped Cliff wasn’t going to be around tonight. He had a way of dominating every conversation so that it centered on the rowdy weekends he and his bros had. He was a total joke compared to a man like William Hart.
Grace buzzed me in, and I walked up the three flights of stairs to Grace’s tiny one-bedroom apartment.
“Liv!” she cried as she opened the door.
I greeted Grace with a smile as we hugged. Grace had been my freshman-year roommate in college, and while she wasn’t the type of girl I would ever have approached on my own, we became friends. Loud and sassy, Grace balanced me out. She had dragged me to far more social events than I ever would have gone to during my college years, and while I sometimes had an awful time, I still appreciated her for trying.
“Hey, Grace,” I said.
I stepped into the apartment and looked around. New York was expensive, but Grace managed to afford her place thanks to her Wall Street finance job. She had a nice couch, and I much preferred that to staying with Richard.
“Ok, so I’m having some people over,” Grace said. “To celebrate your being in town!”
I gave her a look. Grace knew that a bunch of strangers was not my idea of a celebration.
“They’re all chill people from work,” Grace said. “You’ll love them!”
Two hours later, I was locked in the bathroom, fuming.
Grace pulling this nonsense in college was one thing, but I was getting too old for this.
Grace’s three or four friends from work had all brought friends with them. And pot. And a lot of alcohol.
I didn’t have a huge problem with partying, I just didn’t really drink. And it wasn’t fun to be the one sober person in a room of drunk Wall Street loudmouths.
Grace had told me over and over to loosen up. Then she had taken two tequila shots and wandered off to a corner with some guy. Cliff was apparently out of town.
I didn’t want to be the glum person bringing down the party, so I had retreated to the bathroom.
Now I was considering the chances of this party ending anytime soon. It didn’t seem likely from the sounds outside the bathroom door.
I was tired, but there was no way I was getting to sleep in this apartment.
I tur
ned my phone in my hands. To text Richard or not? He would be patronizing and annoyed, but he would let me stay in his spare room. Then he would never let me forget the night I was irresponsible and desperate for years to come.
I set my phone aside.
This could be an opportunity. Out of all the people crammed into Grace’s apartment, they couldn’t all be mindless partiers. Surely, there could be someone nice out there. someone who would make me feel a little less lonely.
I looked in the mirror and ran my fingers through my hair. I wasn’t wearing nearly as much makeup as any of the other women out there. In fact, that morning I had applied some moisturizer and some BB cream, a bit of mascara, and then some lip gloss. That was dressing up for me.
But I wasn’t ugly. I knew that. I was shy, but I didn’t suffer low self-esteem.
I took a breath and made eye contact with myself in the mirror. Time to just try it. Put myself out there.
I grabbed the door and slipped out of the bathroom. And right into the chest of a tall Wall Street Bro.
“Oh, hey,” he said.
He had a beer in one hand, and his other hand found my waist with disturbing speed.
“Hi,” I said.
I clenched my teeth. Just try, I reminded myself. Maybe there was something good beneath the appearance of a drunken asshole.
“What’s your name, beautiful?” he asked.
He stared directly at my chest.
“Olivia,” I said.
He looked up then, and he smiled at me. He had a nice smile, I had to admit.
“Wanna go someplace else?” he asked.
“Like the hallway?” I asked.
He laughed.
“Yeah, sure, we can start there,” he said.
He took my hand, just like that, and led me to the hallway. We sat down with our backs against the wall, the din of the party fading into the background.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Jason,” he said.
“I’m not actually from the city,” I said. “I live in Connecticut, but I’m here for the night.”
“Perfect,” Jason said.
