by Kelly Myers
He leaned forward and kissed me. I pulled back. Instant regret flooded through me. I wasn’t this kind of girl. There was nothing wrong with being this kind of girl, but it wasn’t me. I was too much of an overthinker, and I was way too sober.
“Sorry,” I said. “Sorry, I’m not into this.”
Jason furrowed his brow.
“Then why’d you come out here?” he asked.
I twisted my hands in my lap and scooched to the side so there was a little bit of distance between us. He didn’t seem furious or dangerous. He was petulant, like a child who had a toy taken away.
“I thought we would talk in the quiet or something,” I said.
It sounded idiotic coming out of my mouth. This was what I got for trying.
Jason raised his brows and scoffed. I understood he was hoping to get lucky, but he didn’t have to be so rude.
“Alright, I’m gonna head back into the party,” Jason said. “Didn’t realize you were a prude.”
I was stunned into silence as he got up and walked away. Then I was alone again.
Tears pricked my eyes. I didn’t know why the word “prude” hurt so much. It was probably what I was, given that I was twenty-two and still a virgin.
I just didn’t feel like a prude. I wanted intimacy. I thought about how nice it could be all the time.
I couldn’t return to the party, that was for sure. Jason was probably in there right now, telling all his buddies about the frigid girl from Connecticut.
I picked up my phone and dialed Richard’s number. He picked up on the fifth ring.
“Liv? What’s going on?”
“Hey, I’m so sorry to do this, but I need a place to stay,” I said. “Grace is having a party and I was wondering if I could go to yours?”
Richard heaved a massive sigh into the phone. I pressed my lips together. I would not cry on the phone with Richard. I had my pride after all, and it wasn’t my fault he was being so melodramatic. He had an entire spare room.
“Liv, I’m not even home right now,” he said.
I heard noise in the background. That paired with Richard’s overloud voice meant he was out, probably drinking as well.
“I could meet you somewhere,” I said. “I’m so sorry, but I really need a place to stay.”
“It’s fine,” Richard said with shortness. I was going to get a lecture soon about how rude it was to call him up last minute for favors. “Look, meet me at the University Club ASAP. I’ll give you the keys and then you can take a cab back.”
“Thank you so much,” I said. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Yeah, yeah, ok,” Richard said.
He hung up, and I leapt to my feet. I ducked back into the apartment only long enough to grab my bag, and then I was off. I would text Grace so when she sobered up, she wouldn’t be worried.
Once I was on the street, I mapped out directions and set off as fast as I could toward the University Club.
Chapter Six
William
A few hours after my coffee with Olivia, I still couldn’t get her out of my head.
I returned to the office and went through the motions, but I kept getting flashes of images every time I blinked.
They were small things, like the way a section of her jet black hair had fallen over one shoulder, or the way the hem of her periwinkle cotton dress had brushed her tanned lower thigh.
When I was done at the office for the day, I knew it was time for a stiff drink.
Pining after Olivia was pathetic and pointless. It was never going to happen.
I jumped into a private car outside my office and told the driver to head to the University Club. It was quiet there, especially in the upstairs rooms. I could have a scotch (or three) and blur the memories of Olivia.
I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes.
Twenty-two. She was twenty-two. Barely twenty-two, her birthday had been just a few months ago in April.
Why did I even know her birthday? That probably wasn’t appropriate.
Anyway, it didn’t matter. Whether she was twenty-one, twenty-two or twenty-six, she was still too young for me.
I didn’t only date women my own age, but I tried to stick to a ten year age gap when I could. And once I had hit my forties, I didn’t really want to date twenty-somethings anymore. They were hard to talk to, and they yammered on about the hottest clubs and the latest workout trends. I had more common ground with sophisticated thirty-something career women or divorcées.
I had been propositioned by many married women, unhappy with their husbands, but I had turned those down. I didn’t quite know why I never crossed that line. My entire career, after all, was based on sham marriages.
And yet I also understood, better than most, how painful it was when a marriage ended. Almost all my clients had meant those vows. They had uttered those words in complete seriousness.
There was a sanctity in marriage. Even an old cynic like myself could see that. And that was why it was so painful when a marriage ended. It was like the desecration of a temple.
I had never desired to be married, but I had a strange respect for those who were married. I should have mocked them for being fools to enter a union with such disturbing failure rates, but even so, I had to respect them for hoping. For believing in the good.
I wondered who Olivia Francis would end up with. If anyone could make a marriage work, it was her. She was smart enough to choose wisely, and she was kind and hardworking enough to make a union last.
Even so, I was not happy in the least when I pictured her married to another. Unbidden, the image of a toned and successful thirty-year-old sprung to my mind. Olivia was wise beyond her years, after all, she would fall for someone a bit more mature. The vision of Olivia on this man’s arm made my blood boil.
Mine. I wanted her to be mine.
The car pulled up outside the University Club, jolting me from my wandering thoughts.
I hopped out and stalked toward the old stone building.
I nodded at the concierge in greeting. I wasn’t a frequent visitor, but I preferred getting a solo drink at the club to a random bar.
It was an old and elite institution that only the privileged few made it into. I had been thrilled the day my membership had been approved. As I first walked through the old library and considered how many great men had sat under these very shelves, I felt like I had arrived. A nobody from Idaho had reached this glorious pinnacle.
Now, as I retreated to a corner of one of the sitting rooms with a scotch, the club seemed ancient and dull, like everything else in my life.
I had to shake this. I had to find something new and exciting to latch onto. Something beyond work. A new woman, perhaps an intelligent heiress or a high-powered banker. Maybe a new hobby or a new property.
I growled to myself and finished off the scotch. Then I raised my glass at the waiter to indicate I wanted another.
I had just started on the second drink when I heard a woman’s voice from the other side of the room.
“I don’t understand,” she said. “I’m just trying to find-”
“I just want to show you this one thing,” a man’s voice answered.
“I suppose, I just don’t understand.”
Olivia. It sounded just like Olivia.
I kept my back turned. It was all in my head. I was so obsessed with her and her lithe young body that now I was imagining things.
“But you said my brother would be up here,” the woman said. “I need to find Richard Francis.”
I whirled around at the speed of lightning, just in time to see the skirt of Olivia’s dress get pulled through a door that led into a quiet library. It was private and dim in there. A dark corner for dark deeds.
My heart turned to stone as I stood up and followed.
The situation was entirely clear. She was trying to find Richard, and some asshole who didn’t deserve his membership had taken one look at her and decided to take advantage.
I cou
ldn’t blame anyone for wanting Olivia, but I could blame a man for deceiving her.
Richard wasn’t here. He might have been here earlier, but I knew how Richard’s nights went. He was probably at some high-end bar, trying to pick up women. He was an idiot to have invited his sister here.
I swung the door open and took in the scene:
An inebriated guy in a suit leaning against a shelf in the corner, leering at Olivia. She wasn’t in immediate danger, and thankfully he wasn’t touching her, but she was clearly uncomfortable. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her, and she was looking anywhere except at her companion.
The guy saw me first.
“Sorry, could you find another room?” he asked.
I ignored him as Olivia turned. The look of relief on her face made my soul burn with a possessive fire. Then she started walking quickly across the room to me, as if everything would be alright now that I was here.
“William,” she said. “I’m trying to find Richard, but I don’t think he’s here, I’ve called him a bunch of times.”
I reached out, and as if she had done it a million times, she grabbed my hand. I knew I shouldn’t read too much into it. She was stressed and tired and just glad to see someone she could trust. But I couldn’t help but feel elated at the physical contact. We had shook hands before, but that was all. Never a hug, never a prolonged grasp.
Her hand was soft and slightly cold. I glared at the man who stood agape at the abrupt turn of events.
“Leave,” I said.
He looked me up and down and saw what I expected him to see: that I was older, richer and certainly held more sway at the club. He was gone in a flash.
I turned to Olivia, her hand still in mine.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
I didn’t mean to be harsh, but the words came out more intense than I had meant and Olivia flinched. She pulled her hand from mine and fiddled with her skirt.
“There was a party at Grace’s and it was loud, and I just couldn’t stay,” Olivia said. “So I called Richard to see if I could stay with him, and he told me to meet him here. And they wouldn’t let me in without Richard, but that guy told me I could come in with him and he would help me.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. Olivia took a step away, and sharp regret pierced me. I was lecturing her like she was a silly schoolgirl.
“I guess I’ve been stupid,” she said. “I’ll just go back to Grace’s place and figure it out.”
“No,” I said.
Olivia didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve a careless brother like Richard, and she didn’t deserve a thoughtless friend like Grace. She deserved to be looked after. I would look after her.
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “Richard shouldn’t have invited you here, that’s on him. You’re not stupid.”
Olivia blinked up at me with such surprise that I wondered with a pang how often someone close to her gave her praise. It didn’t matter if a hundred acquaintances or work colleagues complimented you, it was never as meaningful as when your family praised you.
I reached down and put my hand on her cheek. It was just a touch. I was desperate to feel if her skin was as smooth as it looked.
It would have only been a touch if not for her. She didn’t flinch or back away. Instead she leaned against my hand and took a tiny step forward, until she was practically in my arms. My other hand floated to her waist.
And I kissed her. I couldn’t help it; I acted on some primal instinct, deep and powerful.
It lasted only an instant. I felt her soft full lips on mine, and I knew in that moment that the feeling of her in my arms was going to torture me for the rest of my life.
Olivia let out a little gasp and pulled away. Shock was written all over her face, and I was bombarded with guilt.
I opened my mouth to apologize, but before I could, Olivia leaned forward and kissed me back. Her mouth hit mine with fierce determination. There was no hesitation or doubt.
My body was instantly consumed by the desire that came with knowing someone wants you just as much as you want them. Olivia had thought about me like this. I could tell by the way she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her breasts against my chest. It had not been a one-sided lust. All this time, I had thought she looked at me as a father or a brother, but it wasn’t true. She wanted me in this way.
I forced myself to pull away. We couldn’t get carried away here, not with just a door separating us from the rest of the University Club. I needed time and privacy for all the things I wanted to do to Olivia.
“You’re coming home with me,” I said. “Now.”
Olivia nodded and slipped her hand into mine once more. I took the tote bag from her shoulder and slung it over mine as I led her toward the stairs.
I called a car as we stood on the city sidewalk, the warm summer night wrapping us in a soft embrace.
A breeze stirred some of Olivia’s hair, and I wanted to run my hand through the strands.
The car pulled up, and I opened the door for her.
Only ten minutes to my apartment. Only ten minutes before I could kiss her again. I knew Olivia, she wouldn’t want to make out in plain sight of the driver.
She kept her hands folded on her lap and stared out the window. I would have given anything to know what thoughts were whirring inside her head.
I clenched my fist to distract myself from my overpowering desire. I wanted to grab her, there in the back seat and pull her onto my lap. I wanted to reach my hands under that blue skirt and feel her smooth skin.
I just had to wait a little. Just until we reached the apartment.
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. She sat with her eyes straight ahead, and her expression was blank. She was gnawing on her lower lip with her teeth, and the sight turned me on like nothing I had ever seen before. I wanted to nip gently at her lips and other places.
But then, it was clear she was nervous. I took a deep breath to try and subdue the masculine desire coursing through me. I had to be sensible about this. I had to consider Olivia’s needs. And possibly her desires. If she did have the desire for me.
She did. I was sure she did. But she reserved the right to not act on them.
By the time we had reached the apartment, I had a much tighter hold on myself. I led Olivia out of the car, inside.
We rode the gleaming gold elevators in total silence, except for the sound of our breathing. I relished the sweet inhales and exhales coming from Olivia’s mouth. I wanted to make her rhythm change, wanted to make her gasp.
She walked into my large top-floor apartment and looked around. I stared at her from the door, as she stood in the middle of my open-plan living room, the city skyline glimmering behind her.
She was beautiful. She turned to look back at me, and I lost my breath. I needed her. I needed her right away. Every muscle in my body went taut and my cock tightened with raging desire.
Against every primal instinct in my body, I opened my mouth to speak.
“We don’t have to do anything,” I said. “I have a spare room, and you can spend the night there.”
I would go insane if she locked herself in the spare room. Knowing she was so close and yet so far away would send my mind in loops of agony.
But I had to give her the choice. I couldn’t live with myself if I in any way pressured her.
Olivia’s eyes widened. Shock and perhaps fear. But why would she be scared?
“I suppose I can go to the spare room if you want me to,” she said.
She lowered her head, and I stared at the elegant curve of her neck and back.
“I don’t want that,” I said. “I want other things from you.”
Olivia’s head jerked up and a deep blush spread across her cheeks. But she smiled, and in that moment, I knew that she disliked the idea of her sleeping in the spare room as much as I did.
I could hold back no longer. In two quick strides I had reached her and locked her in an iron grip. S
he gasped as I pulled her against me and kissed her once more.
This time I did not restrain myself. We were no longer in public. It was just me and her, and she had willingly entered my domain.
“William,” she gasped.
I pulled away and looked down at her. She was shifting her eyes somewhere over my shoulder, and her blush remained fixed on her sun-kissed face.
“You have to know something,” she said. “I’m a virgin.”
My heart stopped. It couldn’t be true. Although I wasn’t surprised exactly. In fact, it made sense. I had always known Olivia was too pure for me. I started to loosen my grip. I couldn’t take her virginity if she was saving it for marriage. I wouldn’t do that to her.
“But I want to have sex with you,” she blurted out. She nodded and spoke with more certainty. “I never did because I never trusted anyone,” Olivia said. “But I trust you, and I want you to take it. Please.”
She clamped her lips shut and looked up at me, awaiting my reply. I paused. It was a tremendous responsibility, and I was honored that Olivia thought of me that way.
Then again, I didn’t want her to regret it in the morning. And it was a big deal to take someone’s virginity, even a bigger deal since I cared about her so much.
But at the same time, my desire only intensified the minute she said she was a virgin. It felt right that I should be the one to teach her. That I should make sure it was good for her. The thought of someone else taking her virginity, someone who would rush or be pushy, was abhorrent. No, it had to be me.
I cupped her cheek in my hand and kissed her again, this time gently but with determination.
“If you want me to stop at any point, just tell me, alright?” I said.
Olivia nodded and stood on her tiptoes. Her breasts pressed against my jacket, and I nearly lost my senses at the feel of them.
In one swift motion, I reached down below her butt and scooped her up into my arms. Olivia gasped and let out a little giggle. She clasped her arms around my neck as I carried her to my bedroom.
She was so much at ease with me. She had meant it when she said she trusted me.
I sat her down on the bed so her legs dangled off the side. Then I stood and looked down at her.
