Persister: Space Funding Crisis I

by Casey Hattrey

  **************************************************

  Application layers synchronising

  Compatibility . . . 2%

  Skipping AppL conformity

  Opening com port . . . OPEN

  Sending packet

  Received packet

  Authentication check . . . not found

  Trying again . . . not found

  Trying again . . . not found

  Authenticate . . . FAIL

  Sending packet

  Received packet

  Requesting crew . . . OK

  Opening NL Comm to emp.80.165.99.6892:Space_Pelican:833 . . . OPEN

  BEGIN NL Comm

  ESS-Q5: This is Empire sentry station Q5 calling Space Pelican. We’re having trouble authenticating your id.

  Space_Pelican: This is the Space Pelican. Hi! Sorry about this, we’ve been having trouble all the way - we’re a freighter out of Betelgeuse. We’ve been running ahead of our admin cone - I guess your systems haven’t received the latest update.

  ESS-Q5: Negative, Space Pelican - our logs were updated 20 minutes ago and you’re not logged. You’d have to be going pretty spacing fast to be ahead of the next update. Please identify yourself and state your purpose.

  Space_Pelican: Hmm. I repeat - we’re just a small freighter delivering ink to the central hub, perhaps our manager didn’t log our departure in time. You know what it’s like - we’ll just be on our way.

  ESS-Q5: Space Pelican, slow your approach. We must confirm your authentication before proceeding.

  Space_Pelican: Is there really any need for that? Those hub guys really want their ink.

  ESS-Q5: Space Pelican, your are ordered to halt. Our scans are having trouble making out your profile. Are you using cloaking technology?

  Space_Pelican: On a simple space freighter? Of course not! It’s probably just the … er … quantum effects of our ink reserves.

  ESS-Q5: That does not make sense. We are initiating a LOOTW scan.

  Space_Pelican: There’s really no need to Look Out of the Window. We’re just a simple -

  ESS-Q5: You appear to be a Bloggoration class G warship, and there are 5 of you.

  Space_Pelican: Space pants. Ok, charade over.

  WARNING:

  Application Layer security breach

  WARNING:

  Communication protocol compromised . . . at uzz/tcp/ident

  WARNING:

  Identities changed without authentication change

  Correlation_Machine: We’re the Bloggoration, you Space Losers!

  ESS-Q5-SpaceL00zR: You are trespassing in Empire space. Halt immediately.

  Psychohistorian: Shall we halt guys? They seem pretty angry.

  What_about_the_residuals?: They could alert the Administration about our invasion.

  ESS-Q5-SpaceL00zR: How did you change our station identifier? Compromising an imperial sentry station is a violation of imperial law.

  Desperanto: That would be terrible. I hope they don’t do that.

  ESS-Q5-SpaceL00zR: We are reporting you to the Administration. I am beginning the application form now.

  Zero_p_value: Oh no! Our plan is surely foiled!

  ESS-Q5-SpaceL00zR: Make no mistake, as soon as this application form downloads and I’ve got the funding for a subspace transmission and then the permission for a direct message to the council and we’ve worked on the transmission stability of the message and -

  Peer_to_Peer_Review: We can’t talk now, we’re getting stuff done. Byeeeeeee.

  ERROR: NL Comm closed before de-link:

  4081: Ship acceleration desynchronised the connection

  ****************************************************

  * Opportunity escaped? Find partners in your *

  * subjective age range and light cone now *

  ****************************************************