Descendants of Hagar

by Nik Nicholson

  “I want to work with my students!” she insists, walking towards them.

  Jasper look at me crazy, like I can stop ‘a. “Them kids picking cotton. That ain no easy task, even with the boll weevil problem. You said she what’n hardly a quarter hand. I was gone put ‘a with the little children or something.”

  “You better take this hat,” Harlene, one of the moms, offers Coley, taking it from ‘a own head and I think feeling sorry for Coley.

  Burning bridges she ain’t never thought she might need to cross, Coley stop in ‘a tracks and stare at the hat, frowning like it stink.

  “No, thank you,” she dismiss Harlene, and all the other women take it personal. Prudence Beaumont look around at the other women, like what Coley done is proof of something.

  “I guess I’ll have to watch ‘a,” I say, going to get a sack and follow.

  Once we in the fields Coley ain’t complaining the way I was expecting. Having ‘a students around making ‘a act right. She working and not thinking bout how much she doing. She talking bout they schooling, they family and trying to learn who everybody is they’ve told ‘a about, I guess.

  The older girls introduce ‘a to the boys they courting. Then some of the boys that don’t come to school no more, telling ‘a bout the past fore she came. Some of them boys men now and they crushing on Coley, but she don’t seem to notice, or she ignoring ’em. The rest of the field is singing, but we moving in words.

  When we first got over here, I missed the songs; they make the time go by. Then after I started to hear what ‘a students was talking bout, words were a welcomed change. Something bout Coley make them feel open enough to talk about they dreams, love and maybe even leaving Zion. Other folks don’t talk about dreams, love or ever leaving Zion. Zion is the dream.

  All my life I had to hear about how blessed I am to be born after slavery, to have my family, and not have to worry where my next meal was coming from. All my life everybody here been stressing how important it is to have our own land, and how we need to preserve it so we have something to pass on to the next generation. Somebody was always talking bout Reconstruction, and how niggas was being hung left and right. How white people grew to see how much they needed us, and if we stay in our place we can make something of our life, and have something.

  Coley must not of had to listen to that all ‘a life. She don’t seem to be tied to nothing, no dreams or ideas. Everything open for discussion. All she serious about is us all being equal, and earning our rights. Still what she believe don’t seem to anchor her, and stop ‘a from growing. Some part of me wish there was a Coley when I was in school, to push me, share my dreams with, and maybe give me some other choices outside of Zion.

  My parents always been practical people. My brothers worked the land and my sisters learned to be wives. We all were taught and understood one day we’d all have our own homes, so we needed to be ready. Outside of learning to read, write and count, they ain never see the importance of school.

  Coley all about ‘a students learning, what’s in them books but mostly what’s inside them. Iain never really heard nobody talk about that. I see how the boys who already done been out of school too long to go back, wishing they could have met ‘a before they made that decision.

  I remember being the oldest girl still in school. I remember the boys waiting for the day they parents said they ain have to come back. I remember some of them thinking it was an honor, to be told they was needed more in the fields than school. I remember Prudence Beaumont cheering ’em on, saying they was whole hands, they was men.

  Now I see how they questioning everything we been taught. I see how they questioning what’s inside of them, and getting to see different sides of themselves through how Coley teaching the ones that still come. I can tell by what they saying, they trying to figure out if they can be all they is or find everything they need here, in these fields. Then I understand why the Freedman’s Bureau sent Coley here. I see how she get them to stay, learn, and how she make them want to come to class.

  “My feet hurt,” Coley moan when she think cain’t nobody but me hear ‘a. I don’t say nothing, I just keep picking. She not even working as much as others and she had to go pass a whole area to come complain. “Linny? Can we please take a break?” She whining, “My feet hurt, and I don’t feel so good.”

  “I told you to wear those work boots at the house. I told you those shoes were going to be too hot for the field, and they got that heel on ’em, too,” I fuss at ‘a shaking my head.

  “Ain’t that high!”

  “What kind of word is ‘ain’t’ for a teacher to be using?” I tease.

  “‘Ain’t’ is the perfect word for a teacher toting a bag of cotton in the hot sun.”

  “You ain even got that much in yo bag.” I take a deep breath. “Ion wont to stop cause they gone call us in, in a little bit. We came late and now we gone stop working early, it won’t look right,”

  “Please?”

  I just look at ‘a tired, and then I think about everybody else. Iain never been one to think about what other people think, as much as I have been lately. Living with Miemay kept me out of most of that, now it seems all I think about is how I’m being seen. Then Coley making this sad face, floating from side to side pleading silently with ‘a face.

  I decide they’d probly expect this from a city girl, and make an exception for her. “I spect we can take a little break,” I say looking at the water pump.

  I go over to the pump and don’t rinse the pail that good cause somebody else been using it, and it’s already clean. I rinse the cup off and start pumping us up some water in the pail. I take a few chugs and give it over to Coley.

  “That’s nasty! I am not drinking out of that! There’s no telling whose mouth has been on it.”

  When we look up, folks is looking our way. “Suit yourself,” I say, drinking all the water I done pumped up. “But it’s hot, and you eat more than you drink. I been telling you, you probly thirsty more than hungry.”

  Then we go back out to our part of the field. Now I’m the only one really working at all. Coley just walking behind me, dreaming. “I sure could use a cold glass of lemonade, or some tea, ooh I’m not picky. I’d be glad to get a cold glass of water. I don’t even need the water to be cold, just clean. I think I’m hungry or something, too. I can’t even breathe in without my stomach cramping.”

  Then we quiet except for the sound of them singing off in the distance. I’m thinking that it’s hard picking in silence. The singing help you keep a steady rhythm and work faster. Truth is, even though I picked more than Coley, Iain done so good today either.

  “You ain’t tied is you, Ms. Graham,” Caleb, one of ‘a students, ask.

  “Feel like I’m gone swalla my tongue,” Coley say, exhausted, and before I know it, she hit the ground.

  “Get your hands off of me!” Coley wake up swatting when they put the smelling salt under a nose. Then Delilah douse ‘a with a pail of cold water, that’s when Coley scream like somebody killing ‘a. Trying to push ‘aself up and pushing Delilah away, she throws a fit when ‘a legs won’t work.

  The women done surrounded ‘a and made a shield so they could take some of them clothes off of ‘a, so she can get some air. Now she wet, and indecent, but she keep on trying, on ‘a knees crawling trying to get to ‘a feet.

  “You fainted,” one of the women tell ‘a thinkingit’s gone calm ‘a down. It don’t, she still pushing this way and that.

  “You need to drink some of this water,” Delilah offer, but Coley slap the cup from ‘a hand.

  “I’m not drinking that.”

  One of the older women Caroline force the cup to Coley mouth. She fight some til she get a long gulp. Then Coley hold on to the cup like she ain’t never had water before in ‘a life and drink it good. When she get it all down, Caroline dip it in the pitcher and give ‘a another cup. Coley keep on drinking, til she relax. The other women start to go on back to the fields when they see she go
ne be alright. Some still standing round frowning, I think they cain’t believe how Coley acting.

  “I’m so embarrassed,” Coley say, finally seeming to find ‘aself. We help ‘a to a feet and I can tell she still a little light headed the way she wavering.

  “You should take ‘a on home,” the women still around say almost together, so I do.

  ***

  This morning Coley got up on time. She put on some work boots and didn’t wear all them underclothes. I can tell by how loose ‘a clothes fitting and how ‘a body look. She took the hat off the wall, and put it on top of a scarf, she done wrapped ‘a head. I try not to look at ‘a, not even looking like ‘aself. Still she look out of place, she make them field clothes look different the way they hanging off of ‘a.

  “Why don’t you ever drive your automobile? It seems like it would be easier than doing all this?” She watching me pull the horses out. This morning she riding on ‘a own. We been practicing letting ‘a ride on ‘a own horse beside me. I take Teddy and she ride Anastasia.

  “Did you see anybody else with a auto parked out there? It wouldn’t be right.”

  “There were trucks.”

  “Work trucks, that picked up men who lived out too far.”

  “I know you don’t like a lot of questions. I do try to spare you even though it may not seem like it. I just don’t understand you. I remember how you went around smiling for days, and I didn’t know why, and it was because you were expecting that auto. Now that it’s here, it’s like… after you drove it home you hid it. You never talk about it, or want to drive it, why?”

  “How you hide something the whole town know about?” I look at Coley, and she seem annoyed, so I say, “Riding round in that car would be prideful.” I think to explain how it ain’t no way that after it was delivered off the train, everybody ain’t been talking. I don’t tell ‘a how they probly riding round my house trying to see it. I know they saying, I should have got something more practical, like a Ford Model T. Everybody that own a auto round here got some kind of Ford Model T, even The Reverend driving a Model T.

  People already treating me different. If I start riding round in my auto, they’ll think I’m showing off. Maybe they’ll even think I’m wasting Miemay money, and that I’m not grateful for what she done. Even though I bought my auto with the money I been making off the filling station, it won’t matter. They’ll be saying it must be nice to spend money so freely.

  After the filling station took off, I decided you only live once, and since I had the money, I got what I wanted. I got me a green Cadillac Model 51 with a V8 engine. When I was ordering it, I didn’t think about how people might see it. I’ve always loved cars, and never thought I’d have a chance to drive my own. Then when I had enough money to buy me one, Iain wont what I had been looking at for years. I wanted something different, and new.

  When I went to meet the train, I knew it would be on, I couldn’t help smiling. Then I saw Uncle Victor and Ernest in the store, watching me to see what I was doing or what I was waiting on. For some reason they wouldn’t come right out and ask me, and for some reason I knew better than to tell ’em.

  Then when that green shiny car was unloaded off the side of that cargo car, you coulda knocked me down with a feather. It’s the only automobile in America with a V8 engine, and it’s the best one I’ve seen around these parts, in Zion or even in the white towns.

  “You coulda built another house with what you paid for that automobile,” Cousin Ernest fussed from the porch of the store.

  That’s when I looked up and saw all the attention I was getting. People started coming out on all the porches to see the car, too. I was being watched from the front of the barbershop, the store, the hotel, the post office and the blacksmith’s shop, as I walked around my Cadillac, getting to know her.

  I don’t know how long I was out there testing all the pedals and gears, so I didn’t accidentally scrub ‘a gears, before some of the men finally came to get a closer look. By then I was so stirred and embarrassed, when they asked me to raise the hood so they could see how she ran, I told ’em another time. Which ain’t win me no friends.

  When I slid in the driver’s seat and finally got ‘a started, then started towards the house, I was hurt and sad instead of happy. I what’n even looking forward to picking up Coley no more, but I did cause I’d already decided I would. I hadn’t told ‘a bout my auto. I wanted to surprise ‘a, cause the filling station and the auto was her idea, and she hated riding Anastasia to work. I had planned to take ‘a to school every day, and then just go riding sometimes.

  Then when Coley came outside and saw me hunking, she was so pleased, she danced around the car, and started to run ‘a mouth a mile a minute. She wanted to know when we were going on our first long drive. She wanted to know if we were gone go visiting that day, so we could show it off. She wanted to know if I would teach ‘a how to drive. It was bittersweet.

  Last thing on my mind was showing off. So Coley was real mad the next morning when she came outside, and saw I’d saddled up that horse for ‘a to ride to school. I still take ‘a on a horse most times, unless it’s raining, because I’m so ashamed. I guess I am hiding it. And I don’t even know why, cause they all know I got a Cadillac.

  “I don’t understand, you don’t even drive it when it would be practical. Everyone who has a car drives to church on Sunday. Why don’t you?”

  “Just don’t seem right.”

  “Feel like I got something to prove,” she tell me thoughtfully when we almost to the field. “I always say I want to help my people. I say I want to be a credit to my race, but then I was so upset about a little hard work. It wasn’t even that bad, and I liked being able to be with my students. I feel like I understood a lot more by working with them yesterday. We don’t have that kind of time in school.

  “I like how what we’re doing changes things immediately. One of the girls told me how the community fields pay for all the upkeep of the town buildings. Another student told me how the money will be used to get plumbing all through Zion, electricity and school supplies.

  “Not to mention it’s just a few days, then we all go back to our own concerns. I’ve been supporting Negro equality for years, and I haven’t seen change come this fast if at all. Working in the fields brings immediate change. It’s inspiring to be a part of something where you can actually see how your hard work is paying off.

  “I am going to drink more water, and I guess I’m gone have to drink some from that pump,” she say, laughing at the last part, mocking us country folk.

  When we get there, I ask Jasper if Coley could help the elderly in the shade, snapping peas or the kids in the orchard, but Coley refuse. She say she fine, and she just needed a little rest. Then we go pick up our sacks and get started. I’m kind of proud of how Coley comes back, and I’m not sure what’s gotten into ‘a.

  Jasper do the call and we all sing the answer:

  If I Was

  Call: If I was a scarecrow

  Ans: Then I’d stand around

  Call: If I was a scarecrow

  Ans: Then who’d tend the ground

  Call: I don’t see no scarecrows

  Ans: Ain no standin round

  Call: We got so much work to do

  Ans: Foe the sun go down

  Call: If I was a sparrow

  Ans: Then I’d fly around

  Call: If I was a sparrow

  Ans: Then who’d tend the ground

  Call: I don’t see no sparrows

  Ans: Ain no flyin round

  Call: We got so much work to do

  Ans: Foe the sun go down

  Call: If I was an overseer

  Ans: Then I’d look around

  Call: If I was an overseer

  Ans: Then who’d tend the ground

  Call: I don’t see no overseers

  Ans: Ain no lookin round

  Call: We got so much work to do

  Ans: Foe the sun go down

  Call: If
I was a King or Queen

  Ans: Then I’d look on proud

  Call: If I was a King or Queen

  Ans: Then who’d tend the ground

  Call: I don’t see no Kings or Queens

  Ans: Ain no lookin proud

  Call: We got so much work to do

  Ans: Foe the sun go down

  Coley working steady, she don’t even try to talk to nobody, she just doing ‘a own thing. I’m surprised, she done stopped complaining bout the heat, her feet, being tired and she singing along, too.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  LEARNING HER PLACE

  “Mammy Pancakes?” Coley reading the box out loud frowning.

  We all just getting to the fair. We walking down to the nigga section to set up our stands. It’s a big black woman in slave clothes with ‘a head wrapped in a red scarf tied to the front, wearing a big old timey dress and apron. She working behind a table, under a tint, with an open fire and cast iron skillets cooking up pancakes to order. Three young girls dressed like lil picanannies, probly 12 or 13 years old, back there helping ‘a. They making bacon and eggs to order and the white folks is lining up.

  “You ought to be ashamed!” Coley say loud enough for everyone to hear ‘a, with all them white folks standing round. The mammy-looking woman just look at Coley lost.

  “Come on.” I wrap my arm in Coley’s and pull ‘a on with me. I see a white man looking at us, adjusting his belt buckle and rattling it. I’m afraid he looking for trouble.

  “These niggas sho charging a lot for a lil breakfast,” another white man comment. “But my wife cain’t cook ’em like this Mammy can. I come every year just for this.”

  “The missus sho could suh, iffin she git this here box of pancake mix,” the Mammy say.