When I get up, and turn around, Ernest smiling. I take that shovel, and swing it round. He think I’m going for his head, so he lean away, but I get them knees good for ’im. And when he down, I hit him on his back and then his shoulder.
“Put my money back on that counter!” I’m breathing heavy. “You ain’t leaving til you both empty yah pockets.”
Uncle Victor look like it’s a fire in his eyes when he go help Ernest up.
“She cain’t do that,” Ernest argue.
So I lift the shovel and stare at ’em, like I might take they heads off.
Uncle Victor push Ernest on the counter and move at me. His face bleeding, his eye weak, but he still coming. I swing at ’im, and he back up, then I move behind the counter.
Then he pick up a shovel, too.
So I run back to the store room, and close the door behind me, just in time before the full weight of the shovel hit the door. It make a dent in the door where he hit. Field hands strong, and I know he think I’m a child that he can chastise.
I snatch the rifle off the wall, crack it and check the barrel to make sure it’s loaded. Then I slide the latch and charge it to shoot. “Bang!” A little dirt fall on my head, and I realize it was one in the chamber. Still I snatch the door open and start after them.
I hear pennies, nickels and dimes hit the wood floor again, the front door bell ring like somebody coming in. When I step back in the shop, the front door is wide open, there’s money all over the floor, which I suspect be all he took out the register.
I walk heavy footed to the front door, and see them falling all over each other and pulling each other to stay on they feet as they run.
“She shot at us!” Ernest holler.
I don’t aim at ’em, I just hold the rifle by its charging handle, and keep the barrel aimed at the roof. People start laughing at ’em wallowing in the dirt, trying to find they footing. All while, they going on and on bout how I’m the crazy one, or how I tried to kill ’em.
I step out on the porch, and look at all the people waiting, watching, some so shocked they just stare back and the rest look in another direction. I look out at the front of the other businesses, then I shake the rifle again, discharging it.
Then Ernest, limping, start with more shouting, “We gone leave, but this ain’t over! This our family business! Not Yorn! You ain’t earned this! This my inheritance! This my daddy land, yella gal!”
I stand quietly on the porch and watch ’im scream. Something bout the way I look at ’im take some of his fire. Cause he start to talk lower, as I stare at him, til he silent. Then they waddle on, and I see they ain’t coming back anytime soon.
Coley the only one moving towards me. Then she get all in my face, holding it with ‘a hands, murmuring, “Oh my God, look at your face.”
I don’t say nothing, we just exchange glances, mine feel sad. I don’t know how I’m seen, but she looking sad. “Mind helping me clean up this mess?” I ask.
“I don’t mind,” she answer, then dust me off.
“Me neither,” Mrs. Clara say from the side of the porch, while pulling ‘aself up on the porch where there ain’t no steps, then looking out at the men run.
“Thank you.” I nod my head, my heart still racing, my mouth dry. “The store is open,” I say to no one in particular, then go on back in.
Chapter Thirty-Two
UNSPOKEN TRUTHS
I stop moving to hear better. The drain gargle louder swallowing water in the tub. I think Iain really hearing nothing but Coley feet moving up over me. Then again it don’t sound like feet, sound like a knock, and it’s getting louder. I pull my shirt over my head quickly, step in my night pants, and wait, hoping, maybe, they’ll go away.
It’s so late and so much has happened early on, the night don’t even seem real. Iain wanting to know who on the other side of the door. I’ve taken an early bath, my eyes are heavy and my heart heavier. I hear Coley creeping round upstairs. I want to ignore the knocking, don’t want no more trouble for today. Somehow I’m always inviting it.
I come out of the bathroom into the darkness of the hall. The front door don’t seem to be enough between me and whoever on the other side. I can hear my heart beating inside of me. My mouth dry, my throat remind me I’m breathing cause the air push hard in and out. I grab the rifle from the kitchen, and start towards the door. I expect Uncle Victor or Ernest come to settle the score.
“Linny!” A woman’s voice come clear, and familiar.
“Ella?” I put the rifle down on the side of the door, and pull it open. Fore I can say another word, she grab me and hug me, crying. She taking deep breaths like she ain spect to see me at my own house. She hold me for a long time. I feel the cool of the night settle on ‘a, while whatever else she be feeling lifting up off of ‘a. I see ‘a husband Prentice outside on they wagon.
“Oh lord, I just got word what happened at the store. You alright?” Her breath escaping ‘a, and she upset, staring at my face. I’m ashamed I done got ‘a all worked up like this. I don’t wont ‘a worried and I don’t wont ‘a looking at me.
“Don’t hurt.” I turn my face and chin out of her grip.
Then she hit the light, and cry like she seen a monster. “Oh God, Linny. This ain right, look at cho face.”
“It don’t hurt,” I say again, firmer, and holding the door open to see if Prentice coming in, too. He lean back on the wagon, pull his hat over his eyes. He enjoying the night; he ain’t coming in. I close the door not knowing what else to do.
“It’s all over. Zay gone help me run the store. I got a plan, everything gone be alright. I’m more worried about yall being out here this late, and travelling with the Klan riding.” I stand between Ella and the rest of the house. I want ‘a to leave fore it get too dark. She still got time to make her way back safe. “Ain’t safe.” I fold my arms.
“Iain the one you need to be worried about. Look at cho face,” she repeat, walking around looking me over.
Just then Coley start coming down the steps, and we both look up at ‘a. She beautiful, her hair up in drying braids, with hair pins holding them in place. If she had some small buds in ‘a hair, it could be ‘a wedding day.
“Good evening, Ms. Graham,” Ella speak, nodding at Coley with a painful smile.
“Coley,” she correct Ella. “Is everything alright?” she ask the question staring at me.
I’m looking at Coley like I’m waiting to take ‘a hand.
“No, it ain’t.” Ella push pass me and go for the kitchen. “Gone make me something. Tea, coffee, something, to rest my nerves. I cain’t believe all this happening.” I hear Ella opening cabinets, and pots rattling. “What’s this I hear about you shooting at cho uncles, and making nem dance in front of the whole town?”
“She didn’t shoot at them,” Coley laugh, correcting ‘a, again.
Ella don’t meet ‘a laughter with a smile. This all real serious, and I’m wondering if she know when Daddy coming. If he coming.
While Ella getting the tea ready, Coley telling ‘a what happened at the store. I don’t say much, just feel peace come over me when I see how my sister own my kitchen. I sit at the table watching Coley tell the story, watching how Ella hear it.
Coley tell a story with way more words, and moving this way and that way. I wouldn’t never tell it like her, don’t even think I got it in me. Coley make me feel like she saw the fight. I’m even surprised to hear how I looked when her and Mrs. Clara finally came over.
Coley puff ‘a chest up like a rooster when she say, “You should have seen her standing on that porch holding that rifle. She was so fearless, brave and strong. Her face was already showing red where it’s bruised now, but everybody was already saying how she did. Linny had won.” Coley pats me on my arm like she proud of me.
I don’t know how long me and Ella sit in silence staring at each other, or talking bout much of nothing. Feeling like there’re things need to be heard and said between us sisters and not Coley.
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br /> “Good night, Coley,” I say staring in Coley eyes.
“Good night?” she smile back excited, ready to tell another story, leaning over ‘a tea one way and then the other, staring back at me blowing.
“Good night,” I say firmer, and Ella look down at a spot on the table. You can feel ‘a closing ‘aself to Coley.
“Good night,” Coley accepting we asking ‘a to leave more than she saying it to us. Wounded, she looks back and forth between us as she gets up. Some part of me hurt how she taking it, and some part of me want to explain. Some part of me worried after Ella leave tonight, Coley won’t come to my bed.
I don’t realize I’m staring at Coley leaving til Ella say, “I’m still here,” leaning into the table. Ella eyes so serious, she don’t flinch and I feel like I’m in trouble. “You sure seem different. Yo spirit mighty high, considering.” Ella voice heavy, grave.
“I don’t feel no difference.”
“Yah daddy ain’t cho daddy. Miemay ain’t cho great grandmama, she done gave you alllll the family money, and land. Which if someone wanted to press it, you ain even her great granddaughter so you ain’t got no blood claim on nothing. Then, way the story being told, you shot off at them in that store. Iain saying who wrong or right, but I cain’t see how you still smiling. How is you smiling?”
“You want me to be sad?”
“Iain saying what I want. I’m saying this ain’t the Linny I know. You ain’t never been this high spirited. I see it all in yo face. What I wont to know is, who making you all high spirited?” She smile and do this little wiggle over ‘a tea.
“What foolishness you talking?” I get up from the table, taking up our tea cups and filling them again.
“Naw, don’t run from the question. You got the look of love. What’s his name?” She sing the last question.
Shaking my head, dismissing ‘a, I fill our cups again. Then I hear Coley feet moving above me in ‘a room, that do something to me. I’m looking forward to laying next to ‘a, and holding ‘a all night. “You best get out of here and get home. It’s late and we all gotta early morning.”
“First tell me, what you smiling for?” Ella trying to follow my thoughts.
I shake my head no, like it ain’t nothing, cause I know I cain’t tell ‘a this. I want to tell somebody, but it ain’t safe. Just then I realize how I cain’t hold Coley hand, or take ‘a nowhere. I think about how much I want to tell the world how I’m feeling, but I cain’t even tell Coley how I feel. It’d scare her, and the thought of ‘a leaving scare me.
Ella use to always say I was the only one could keep a secret. She use to tease, I would keep a secret from even myself, and that be dangerous, make life hard. Things don’t feel real til you tell somebody. She told me she was in love with Prentice fore she told him. She told me the first time he told ‘a he loved ‘a, and the first time she felt loved.
I remember where I was when Ella man asked her to marry him. Even though she knew he would, it didn’t stop ‘a from crying- she was so happy. Knowing he loved ‘a didn’t change how much it moved ‘a to walk down that aisle, and let the whole world know she was his wife, and he was her husband. Knowing didn’t stop Ella from beaming from ‘a soul, the day they turned around at the alter to face all of Zion, and The Reverend introduced them as one.
“I know that look. Ooh, I know that look, I know that look,” Ella keep pressing me, taking a deep sip of ‘a tea. “Who is it? You gone tell me his name?”
Not a word.
“I can tell your spirits lifted, and you filled with something. You know I can keep a secret.”
“I can, too,” I smile losing the fight to stay serious. My voice sound harsher than I mean, and what I’ve said seem to hurt ‘a. That hurt me but I cain’t spare ‘a this time. She wouldn’t understand, and I don’t know the words to explain. Don’t think it can be explained.
“First, I blamed Mama for, not treating you right, I guess. Even if she had her reasons. Then I blamed Miemay, for making you so headstrong. I blamed Miemay for having you wear pants. I blamed Miemay for letting you birth babies with ‘a before you had cho own. If Ida seen a baby born fore I had my own, Ida probly been scared of men and gitting married, too. Then again, children part of life. Pain part of life, too. My children make me a different woman. Children are a blessing.
“Then I blamed Daddy, for raising you like your brothers. I even made him feel guilty. I told ’im he needed to start leaving you at home with Mama, to help with Grit. Told ’im you needed to focus on women duties, wife duties.”
“I thought Mama told Daddy that.” I’m thinking out loud.
“I said it so much, Mama probly did say it a few times ‘aself.”
“After Miemay told me how bad Mama was beating you, I blamed myself for not taking you with me when I left. Every girl needs a mother, and every woman needs a husband.”
“What are you talking about? You cain’t blame yourself for nothing that happened here today. You didn’t steal from me, or hit me, and you didn’t abandon me. I’m not your child. I’m your sister.”
“But you needed me, you needed somebody. I thought if I stopped speaking to you when Daddy did, you would stop being so headstrong and git married. Sumner Harper is a good man, and he would take good care of you.”
I start to stir, looking at ‘a, refusing to accept anything she saying now.
She go on, “He’s handsome. A lot of women like him, but he’s only got eyes for you. He well mannered, he owns his own land.”
“I’m not listening to no more of this.”
“If you had a man to speak for you, none of this woulda happened today,” she say loud, firm and steady over anything she think I might say back.
“Miemay ain’t never needed a man to speak for her. And you don’t need one to speak for you, Ella. Seem like to me, you running Prentice.”
Grinning, Ella try to explain. “A man who loves his wife lets ‘a have ‘a way, long as he gitting what he wont.”
Frowning at ‘a teasing, I grab my cup. “I don’t want to hear bout you giving Prentice what he wont.”
Laughing harder, Ella touch my arm to hold me there at the table, and keep my attention. “Iain talking bout that. I mean, I recognize and respect him as the head of the house. I git his say on things. Even if I know he ain gone care, I make sure he feel he part of everything, and we a team. I make sure I come to him about everything, sometimes.” She bow ‘a head smiling, like she don’t even believe what she bout to say, “He do say no.”
“When was the last time Prentice said no, Ella?”
“That ain’t the point. I always ask. He the person who speak to other men on behalf of our family. Men, they speak they own language. You ever seen them haggle over the price of something? They be talking in a tone and saying things be fighting words for women.”
“Ella, getting married is the last thing on my mind. In fact, it ain’t on my mind at all.” I sip the tea, and start thinking I want something tastier. Some coffee with the works would be good, but I don’t feel like mixing all that. I just want to get off this conversation, where she telling me I should find me a husband before I get too old. Or where she tell me I need a man to stand up for me.
“You been saying that too long. I thought after Norma Jean got married you would, too, but you still ain’t.”
Norma Jean’s name, here in my house, make me sit up in the chair, and look at Ella intensely for the first time.
“I know about Norma Jean,” she say, looking at me firm. “I’ve known for years. I told Miemay yall didn’t need to be spending the night together. Miemay said you were girls, best friends, and everybody needed somebody.
“Norma Jean was running round saying she what’n never gitting married. Cause she’s two years older than you, I thought she was putting them thoughts in yo head. I blamed Norma Jean for you not taking Sumner Harper more serious.”
“Ella, what are you talking about?”
“Linny, I know.” She get sad
and the mood change.
My spirit get heavy. It feel like to get a word out you got to pull a wagon out the way.
“I blamed Norma Jean cause she was so wild, and you ain have nobody else to show you the right way. I even thought if she got married to Dexter, you would change. I thought you would see how she became a wife and a mother, then you’d see you have to grow up, too.”
“I am grown.” I put the tea down and stare in Ella eyes. “And I’m tired of you and Mama acting like having a husband, doing it, and having babies is what makes a woman a woman. That’s your dream, ain’t mine, ain’t never been mine.”
Ella take the news hard, and ‘a eyes get full of tears. Not enough to fall, but enough it hurt me, that I hurt ‘a enough to cry. Still it’s the truth, and she got to get use to it, and stop trying to force me to do things I don’t wanna do.
“Since I thought Norma Jean was making you how you was, I told ‘a I was gone tell ‘a mama what yall was doing. Liking each other the way you should be liking men.”
“What?” Something make me shake my head no, and I’m already to tell ‘a it’s a lie.
“Norma Jean was going round saying she loved you. It was just a matter of time fore people started talking.”
“She did? Norma Jean and me ain’t never talked about loving each other.”
“I thought yall was close cause of all yall was going through. Still, something had to change. I told Norma Jean I was gone tell ‘a folks that yall ain’t need to be friends no more. That’s when she told me that ‘a step daddy was touching ‘a. You know that boy Dexter loved Norma Jean so much, he married ‘a even though that first baby what’n none of his. She thought, whenever you found out she was pregnant you’d be done with ‘a anyways.”
I’m silent and hurt Norma Jean didn’t know me better. I’m sad she didn’t trust me more with ‘a heart. I must look angry cause when I look up at Ella she start trying to explain.
“I wanted what was best for you Linny. You my sister, and my main concern. So I told ‘a ain’t nobody gone believe ‘a step daddy did that. I told ‘a it would ruin ‘a family, and make ‘a mama look bad. I asked ‘a what would happen to ‘a other sisters and brothers if ‘a step daddy was killed? How would ‘a mama take care of them? I told ‘a every woman needs a man. I told ‘a Dexter was a good man.”
Descendants of Hagar Page 27
