Alpha Erased

by Aileen Erin

  It wasn’t enough. I wanted to be thankful for his help, but I wasn’t doing anything. “And if the witches can’t remove the magic from my bond? If Van can’t find who took her? What then?” I hated that I was dealing in ifs, but I needed to know what we’d do. How we’d keep going if we kept coming up against dead ends.

  “You can’t give up yet,” Meredith said. “You’re acting like Tessa isn’t strong. Like she hasn’t done impossible things. Things that no one should’ve been capable of. Tessa saved me. She fought for me. When she was new to magic and new to being a werewolf and didn’t even know what the hell she was doing. She fought, and she won. And now, she’s so much stronger than she was. She’s so much better. And I know she’s out there, staying strong so that we can fight for her now. It’s our turn to save her, and we won’t let her down.”

  I stared off into the distance again. I knew that. I did. But I was a man who’d always been asked to take action, to step up, to lead. Now I was supposed to wait? To take care of Axel? To hope someone would give me information? That…that wasn’t enough.

  “We’ll find her,” Meredith said. “It’s only a matter of time. Don’t lose faith yet. It’s only been five days and—”

  “Five?” It’d only been four when we went to court. We’d lost time.

  Fils de pute.

  We’d lost time we didn’t have.

  “Five days.” Meredith waved us forward. “Come back to the castle. Eat. We’ll call Claudia and figure out who to go to first. We’ll keep doing all the things we can think of. We won’t stop until we find her. Okay?”

  I dropped my chin to my chest and closed my eyes, trying to feel for a bond that wasn’t there.

  All I found was emptiness.

  A ghost where my mate should’ve been.

  Searing pain where her soul had been severed from mine.

  I was trying not to lose faith, but it’d been nearly a week, and we had nothing.

  I was trying to stay strong, but if I didn’t find something—some clue of where she might be—I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d last.

  Chapter Seven

  DASTIEN

  Thirteen Days, Fourteen Hours Missing

  * * *

  There was a little hope, but a lot of fear as I walked up the rickety steps to Samantha’s apartment with Michael just behind me. We’d picked up Axel from Chris and Cosette’s sanctuary when we got back from Ireland. We took him with us as we started looking for a witch to help us, but ended up leaving him with Lucas and Claudia last week. His control wasn’t good enough to be around so many humans. The travel was wearing him out, and we couldn’t focus on what we needed to do if we were constantly focusing on his control, his hunger, and his reactions to every dead end we hit. I felt a little guilty leaving him behind, but I was having enough trouble maintaining my own control to deal with his.

  It’d been two weeks since Tessa had been taken. Two weeks of dead ends and no answers and failing at every fucking turn until I wasn’t sure what hope I had left to cling to. There was so little of it left. This was my last shot, and I was terrified of what would happen if Samantha couldn’t help me.

  Over the last eight days, we’d traveled from coven to coven, meeting with all kinds of witches. Those who specialized in voodoo. Others in brujaria. Gypsies. Psychics. A couple mediums, because why the hell not? And one palmist who told me I’d find her, but that I would have to prove my love to get her back.

  Okay. Fine. Tell me who I needed to prove it to, and I’d do it. I’d make them believe I loved Tessa with every atom in my body, every ounce of my soul, every beat of my heart.

  But nothing we did was working. And with every dead end we hit, the hope that I’d see her again faded just a little bit more.

  Our fey friends were still searching for who took her, but they hadn’t gotten anywhere either. The more time that passed, the weaker the trail would get until I wasn’t sure we’d find her. Maybe not ever.

  And what would I do then?

  How would I keep going?

  I couldn’t even listen to music anymore. I would hear something that I knew she loved, and then it would hit me that she wasn’t there. She might never hear it again. Ever.

  I couldn’t watch TV either. I would turn to her to make a joke—just so I could see her smile—and she wasn’t there.

  She wasn’t fucking there.

  Claudia searched for Tessa every night, but she kept finding empty space. As far as her magic could tell—as far as anyone’s magic could tell—Tessa never existed.

  But she did. We all knew it. So, it was a trick. Some kind of fucked-up trick.

  And now I was back in Los Angeles. About to ask help for someone who’d already refused to take my calls. Refused to even take Claudia’s calls. We didn’t even know if she was getting our messages.

  But I’d beg. I had no pride left. I would beg. We’d nearly gotten Samantha killed the last time we asked for her help, and she’d probably slam the door in my face. And yet, I had to try.

  I knocked on the door of the old apartment. I could hear footsteps, and then the door swung open.

  Wide, stormy gray eyes stared at me. Samantha’s long, wavy brown hair hung loose down her back. She was wearing a plaid uniform skirt, and an untucked white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up enough to show a few crystal bracelets on each wrist. “Dastien?” she said.

  “Hi, Samantha.”

  Claudia said not to tell her we were coming. To just show up. Otherwise, she’d rabbit herself away, and that would do us no good.

  Samantha looked past me and saw Michael, but she looked back at me. “You want me to find Tessa. I saw the news, but if you’re here, that means you think I can help. I don’t know that I can.”

  “Can we come in and talk? Please?” I hated talking about how Tessa was gone, but I couldn’t really talk or think about anything else. So, it didn’t fucking matter. It shouldn’t matter. I’d explain what happened a million times over if it got me closer to finding her. “You haven’t gotten our messages?”

  “No.” She looked away from me, chewing on her lip. “I’ve been busy. I’ve been ignoring my calls and…”

  Now that I was looking at her, I noticed that she was thinner than the last time I saw her. There were dark circles under her eyes. She looked about as tired and heartsick as I was. She might need help as much as I did. Before I left, I’d make sure she ate a real meal with protein.

  “Honestly, I saw the calls, but things have been…I meant to call, but…” She shrugged.

  Right. I had to remember that Tessa wasn’t the center of everyone’s universe. Just the center of mine. “Can we come in? Please.”

  She looked at me again, leaned against the door jamb, but said nothing.

  “If you can’t help me, then…” Then I wasn’t sure where to go next. I’d figure it out. I would. But I had to know if Samantha could find Tessa. I couldn’t leave—wouldn’t leave—until she gave me a chance to explain. “Please.”

  Samantha let out a soft sigh. “Look. I know I helped you before, but I can’t do it again. Shit has been going crazy here, and I’m wiped to the max and—”

  “Someone kidnapped Tessa, and I can’t find her. No one can find her. I can’t even feel our bond anymore. It’s like it doesn’t exist. I’ve tried everything. Claudia’s tried. I can’t…”

  “But you’re her mate. I saw your bond to her. I held it in my hand. If she’s not dead, then follow it—”

  “She’s not dead!” I screamed before I could stop myself.

  Samantha stepped back slowly, as if she were backing away from a predator. Except I was the predator.

  I was messing up. I was messing this all up. I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to calm down.

  Michael’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “He’s sorry, but this is really hard for him. It’s been a very long couple of weeks.”

  I closed my eyes and tried to shove down the screaming panic, but every day that passed, it
got harder.

  I opened my eyes, but I knew she could see the wolf staring at her. “I’m sorry. The bond is gone. Someone took her, and I really need help because I don’t know what to do without her. Help me. Please.”

  She shook her head, and I wasn’t sure what else I could say to convince her.

  But then she said, “Okay. Come in. Start at the beginning.”

  Ten minutes later, I’d laid out everything we knew so far, everything we’d tried, every dead end we’d hit.

  She was quiet for a minute, and I looked around her apartment. At the sagging couch, musty shag carpet, the cracked plaster walls. The plate of food—crackers, cheese, and cookies—she’d brought for us, but that she hadn’t touched. I wasn’t sure what had happened since I last saw her, but I told myself that when this was all done, I’d check on her. Once I was in a place to help her, I’d do something for her.

  Samantha cleared her throat, and I focused on her.

  Her eyes appeared glassy. Like she was seeing through me.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Last time, it was easy to see the bond between you and Tessa. It was the brightest, biggest one. And every time you talked to her through it, there was this loud buzzing. It was so annoying. I couldn’t have ignored that bond if I wanted to.”

  I swallowed down the feeling of loss because it wasn’t helpful right now. This was the most we’d heard about my mate bond from anyone.

  Samantha’s gaze went glassy again for a second and then cleared as she met my gaze. “I don’t know if it was because you were right there next to her or if it’s something else. Right now, I see all kinds of ties around you, and none of them are brighter than the rest. At least not bright like before. I’m not sure I would notice which was which or if there was one missing anymore because there are so many.” She brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I don’t usually do magic here, but this…this isn’t magic, and honestly, I’m wiped out. I don’t want to go anywhere. So, we’ll do this here. I don’t know that I can…”

  She was quiet again, and I wanted to shake her. To tell her to hurry up. To tell me something. But Michael gripped my knee to the point of pain.

  I met his gaze with a growl backed with a silent command to back off that was strong enough to scare any other werewolf, but Michael was Michael. He didn’t even flinch.

  “Your control is slipping again.” He said the words softly, calmly. A plain statement of fact.

  Damn it. “You’re right.” I let out a slow breath. “You’re right. I’ll try harder.”

  I’d yelled at Samantha, and now I was losing my temper with Michael. He hadn’t left my side through all of this, and she was going to help, and this was how I was repaying them?

  “It’s okay,” Samantha said, and when I turned to her, she didn’t flinch. “I’m scared for her, and I only met her that one time. We’ve messaged and kept in touch, but I’m not close to her. No one is but you. You’re allowed to be scared.”

  I usually didn’t spill my guts, but I had no pride left. Nothing left but begging for help. “I’m terrified. I can’t sleep. I’m forcing myself to eat. But I don’t know if she’s okay. I don’t know anything except that she’s alive—because I’m alive—which means I have some time, but I don’t know how much. I need to find her before…” I couldn’t say the rest. I couldn’t think the rest.

  She bit her lip as she stared at me again, and I forced myself to wait. I wasn’t a patient man. I never was. If I’d been even the least bit patient, I never would have bitten Tessa like I did.

  And if I was being honest with myself, I never thought I deserved her. I never forgave myself for taking away her choice, and a part of me thought that this—her being taken from me—was my punishment.

  “Okay. I’m going to touch your bonds and try and see if I can find your mate bond. It might be weird.”

  Weird was one word for it. “I remember from last time.”

  “Right. So, maybe don’t growl at me. Or at least don’t bite me, okay? I’ve got enough problems to worry about without being all furry and shit.”

  I laughed. It was a strained sound, but it was there. “I won’t bite you. Please. Just help me.”

  “It was a joke. I’m a—I can’t be anything except what I am. If that makes sense. Even if you bit me. It wouldn’t change what I was.”

  That was something at least.

  “This is probably a terrible idea.” She stood.

  And with her movement, my hope strengthened again.

  It seemed stupid to keep hoping and getting disappointed over and over. But I couldn’t help it. I had to believe Samantha could do something. If she couldn’t be changed by my bite, then that meant her magic was different than any other magic.

  “Are you fey?”

  Samantha stared at me like I was nuts. “No. Not even a little bit fey. I’m something else.” She waved for me to follow her. “Come on. Lie down on the floor.”

  I lay down in front of the coffee table. There were a couple of feet of empty floor on every side of me.

  She knelt to my right and held her hands an inch above my body. “Just stay still.” She ran her hands up and down my body, and then I felt a tug. It wasn’t painful exactly, but extremely uncomfortable.

  Michael grunted from his spot on the couch.

  She jerked her hands away and looked up at him. “That yours?”

  “Yes.” His voice was more wolf than human.

  “Sorry. Your bond to him is the strongest one I can see right now. Are you his dad?”

  “In all but blood.” I couldn’t see Michael, but I knew he’d probably shrugged or played it off like it was nothing that he’d taken me in. But it was everything.

  She interlaced her fingers and cracked her knuckles. “Okay. Not that one. Going in again.”

  Samantha pulled at the next bond. I had a second to hope before my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket and checked the screen. Chris.

  I tossed my phone to Michael, and he moved into the kitchen to answer it.

  Samantha was sitting back on her heels, watching me.

  “Keep going. Please,” I said.

  She gave me a tight nod before reaching her hands out again.

  As she went through more of my bonds, my phone kept ringing. Cosette. Van. Blaze. She went through all the bonds to the new council first—except Eli and the one I wanted most—Tessa.

  And then, she started again, moving to the bonds she said were smaller, thinner, less bright. Adrian. Meredith. Donovan.

  Michael stayed in the kitchen, answering my phone every time someone called. He’d have just enough time to assure them that everything was okay before Samantha moved on to the next bond.

  Each pause as she found another bond, my heart would race with hope, and then the ringing phone brought me crashing back down. Twenty minutes later, I’d had about all I could take. Each tug got a little more uncomfortable until my nerves were frayed.

  It was torture, but I kept thinking about Tessa, and I knew if she was staying alive, that I could endure whatever it took to find her.

  Samantha was quiet the whole time as she focused on something that I couldn’t see. Until finally, she let out a soft hmmm.

  I swallowed, almost scared to ask what that sound was about. But I had to. “What?” My heart was racing. I wanted some bit of hope. Had she found something?

  She was staring intensely at something I couldn’t see. She would reach her hand out and then draw it back. Reached and pulled back. She did it a few times, and then sat back on her heels and looked at me.

  “There’s this spot on you that I can’t touch. Like every time I reach for it, my hand moves away from it on its own. But I’ve pulled on every bond you have, and none of them are it. So, if I had to make a bet, I’ve gotta go with that null void hiding your mate bond.”

  That sounded like it made sense to me. “Magic took her away, so that adds up.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not like anything I’ve
ever seen.”

  “Fey magic.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t really know any fey well enough to understand their magic.” She shook her head. “This is a bad idea, but I’m going to do it. Just…if anything goes wrong, be sure to call my mom. Okay? Passcode on my phone is 3737.”

  “Are you sure about this?” Michael came back into the living room to sit on the couch. He was in dad-mode, and I knew he’d seen the same thing I’d seen when we walked through the door.

  Samantha was tired when we got here. She needed food and sleep, and we were a weight on her.

  “You’ve been amazingly patient with us, but we don’t want you to get hurt,” Michael said, and I had to agree with him, but I really, really wanted her to try this.

  Samantha looked over the coffee table at Michael. “I’m never really sure about anything, but screw it. Now I’m mad. I’d talked to Tessa a few times since you guys were here. She’s a friend. I want to know who the hell did this and why.”

  “We don’t know, but we have people working on that while we work on finding her,” Michael said. “If you could find her bond, we’d get to her much faster.”

  She looked down at me again. “Okay. Let’s do this.” She reached out and grabbed something, but the second her hand closed, she flew straight up into the air. Her loose hair flew around her face, hiding it from view as her head brushed the ceiling.

  She hung there for a split second before flying sideways across the room.

  Her head hit the plaster wall with a whack.

  I smelled copper just before she started to fall, leaving a trail of blood on the wall behind her.

  I rolled to catch her before she hit the floor. I placed her carefully on the ground. I could hear her heart beating and air moving through her lungs, but her eyes were closed.

  I tapped her cheek. “Samantha?”

  Oh God. There was too much blood. I didn’t know what she was, but clearly she wasn’t supernatural enough to sustain this kind of hurt.

  “Call 911!”