Alpha Erased

by Aileen Erin

  Like school. Like the books in front of me. Like the test I had tomorrow.

  Georgine finally dropped her gaze, and I wanted to cheer myself on.

  At least I could win one battle today. “If we don’t get started, we’ll be here all night.” I busied myself with pulling my books and notebooks out of my backpack, then notecards, then my highlighters, and finally, my bag of pens. I lined everything up and then looked at Georgine.

  She was glaring at me. Again.

  I didn’t set everything out to annoy her, but it was a solid side benefit.

  “God. Why do you still use that stupid bag?” Georgine hated me. It was clear every time she said anything to me. Her tone was utter garbage.

  I looked at the pen bag in question. There was a wolf howling at the moon printed on it. “Because it makes me happy.” I gave her a painfully fake smile and unzipped the bag, pulling out my favorite blue pen.

  My mother was wrong. Georgine and I weren’t friends. We weren’t even close to being friends.

  But my mother wanted me to be nice. She didn’t like it when I acted differently than she was used to. So, I’d be nice. For now.

  There was an itch between my shoulder blades—the kind that made me feel like someone was staring at me.

  I turned to look around the room.

  “You keep doing that. Is someone meeting you here? Are you looking for someone?”

  We were going to keep circling around to this unless I told her. We’d get no studying done. I should just tell her and get it over with. “Someone bumped into me outside.” I clicked my pen. “They thought I was someone else, but it was weird. I just checked to make sure that they didn’t follow me in here. And they didn’t.”

  Georgine went from glaring at my pen bag to staring at me. “What?”

  “It’s not a big deal. She just flustered me.” I shouldn’t have told her. I should’ve brought up something else.

  I could almost see the questions forming in her mind. I waited while she picked what she wanted to say first.

  I slouched back in my chair. I didn’t care about being cool or wearing the right designers. I wore jeans and T-shirts and cardigans everywhere. If you asked me what brand they were, I couldn’t tell you. My hair was always slopped into a messy bun. I didn’t look like her. I couldn’t.

  Georgine looked as if she’d walked out of a magazine. Her hair flowed in perfect waves down her back. Any makeup she wore was always on point. Her clothes looked expensive and like she’d planned out every bit of an outfit—down to the last accessory—the night before. Guys stared at her wherever she went, and everyone seemed to trip over themselves to get to her first. To be her friend first. To impress her the most.

  I’d never be as beautiful or popular, and that was fine by me. I didn’t want that kind of attention. And I certainly didn’t need or want her approval, especially on something so insignificant as a pen bag.

  And no matter what she asked me, I didn’t have to answer.

  “Who was it? What did they look like?” She stood up and started looking around. “Were they tall? Muscular? Are they still here?”

  Tall? Muscular? Was she looking for me to set her up with them?

  “I’ll be back.”

  Great. Now Georgine was going to make this into a big deal and call my mother, and then somehow, this would turn into me getting put back in the hospital. Again.

  I’d been back four times already, and I wasn’t going back for a fifth time.

  I was putting an end to this. I grabbed her arm as she tried to squeeze between my chair and the person sitting at the table behind me. “I don’t see her anywhere. It’s fine. Sit back down.”

  She jerked her arm free, taking one long look around before going back to her chair.

  I took a sip of my drink and choked it down. “I don’t know why I got this. I hate tea.” I muttered under my breath.

  “Go get something else. While you get in line, I can take a look around outside for that crazy person if you tell me what she looks—”

  Shit. I wasn’t siccing Georgine on some poor girl who had the bad luck to bump into me. “I’m fine. It was a few blocks away, and the girl is long gone. She didn’t follow me here.” My words were harsher than I meant them to be, but I wasn’t in the mood for one of Georgine’s drama fits. “I’m going to go grab a Diet Coke. Want anything?” I tried to soften my tone, but Georgine wouldn’t look at me.

  Whatever.

  Georgine grabbed up her cell and started typing. “I don’t need anything,” she said without looking up from her phone.

  I stood, staring at her for a second before walking away.

  She was texting my mother.

  I knew she was texting my mother.

  God. Georgine was annoying. What kind of friend is constantly texting a friend’s mother to tattle on them? How old were we? If only I knew what she was thinking, then maybe I could get her to calm down. I didn’t even understand why she was so compelled to keep in constant contact with my mother. But short of reading her mind—which was impossible—I’d never find out.

  I couldn’t remember what my relationship had been with Mother before the accident, but now it was tense. Very, very tense. And Georgine was always making it worse.

  I wasn’t sure how much worse our mother-daughter relationship could get, but apparently, I’d find out soon enough. I couldn’t wait for that phone call.

  I took some calming breaths while I waited in line. If I really thought about it, I had nothing to complain about. Not when you thought of all the real things people had to worry about. Mother apparently was born wealthy because she didn’t seem to have a job yet always had an abundance of money. It angered her whenever I asked, so I left it alone. All I knew was that my bank account was ridiculously full. My apartment was paid through the next five years. My fridge was packed with food. My bills were paid, including tuition. I could go to school and literally not worry about anything but learning and becoming the person that I wanted to be.

  Except I had this giant missing part of myself.

  I’d forgotten so much, and sometimes it felt like it was too much to ignore. Like there was this part of me that was supposed to be there, but it wasn’t. And when I realized that, it felt like this black pit of emptiness that was too big to even really comprehend. Sometimes I wasn’t sure that I could keep going without fixing it.

  But I never ever talked about that anymore. The last time I did it earned me a nice ten-day hospital stay.

  Mother mistook my words. She thought the emptiness meant that I was suicidal. But I wasn’t. It wasn’t that. It’s like I was forgetting something.

  And I was. I was forgetting a whole bunch of somethings.

  But I had to just keep moving forward. I couldn’t change the past, so I had to keep doing the things I was supposed to do. Eventually, if I tried hard enough, I would become who I was meant to be.

  I just wished I knew who that was.

  Chapter Fourteen

  TESSA

  Over the last few hours, the coffee shop had gotten a lot quieter. Most of the people cleared out around dinnertime, and now it was nearly empty. The words on the page were blurring together, and I was certain my stomach was eating itself, yet I still had at least another hour of studying to do. They weren’t going to close until then anyway, which meant I could stay. I should stay.

  I scooted my chair away from the table.

  Georgine looked up at me as I stood. “Where are you going?”

  Why did it matter? Why did she always ask me? Why did I even have to talk to her?

  God. I was annoyed with her, but it was probably mostly hunger. Not the fact that Mother already called me to get the full details on who yelled at me, and the lectured me about being more careful and how it was my fault that the girl went nuts on me.

  My patience was shot, but that didn’t excuse me from being an asshole. “I’m getting more food. Do you want anything?”

  “More food?” She looked
at me as if this wasn’t my normal. As if I was a disgusting creature because I was hungry. “You know you’re not supposed to eat that much. You don’t have the normal hunger signals that you’re supposed to have and—”

  “Yeah. I know, but I’m hungry. I can’t study if I can’t focus beyond being hungry.” I bit the words out. Could she not tell that if she asked me one more question, I was going to lose my shit?

  “But you just ate a muffin an hour ago.”

  Okay. That wasn’t technically a question. I could do this. I could behave normally. “I only ate half a muffin an hour ago because you ate the rest, and now I need more food, or I won’t be able to concentrate.” I wasn’t about to defend my eating habits. I ate when I was hungry, and I was hungry. So, I was eating. Every time I sat down with food, I tried to eat a normal amount because she was right, I did lack the typical hunger cues. But this didn’t need to be a discussion.

  No. It wasn’t a discussion. I could end this by walking away, and that’s exactly what I was going to do.

  I grabbed my wallet and walked over to the line. When it was my turn, I ordered two sandwiches, a bag of chips, and a brownie.

  Maybe I didn’t need the second sandwich, but Georgine ate half of my muffin. She did it with this evil look on her face as if she were egging me on to do something. What, I didn’t know. But something.

  And now I was really, seriously hungry. Which meant I was dangerous.

  I took the word “hangry” to a new, special, mostly evil place. It scared me sometimes.

  I almost added a hot chocolate to my order, but I’d never hear the end of that. Georgine almost never ate more than once a day. And even when she did eat, it was always very little. I’d once made the mistake of asking her if she had a dieting problem, but that just turned into a tirade about how disgusting I was for eating meat.

  Fine. Whatever. She had her very specific diet, and mine was more of an everything-in-sight kind of a thing.

  When I sat down with my food, Georgine stared at it and then made a face at me as expected.

  I took a giant bite of my first sandwich. “Problem?” I said around my mouthful of food.

  “Is that cow?” Georgine’s tone was dripping with disgust.

  “Yep.” I took a big bite. I didn’t care what she thought anymore. I was hungry, and I was eating. Why did she care what I ate? I didn’t care what she ate or didn’t as the case might be.

  Ignoring her, I decided to study for one more hour, and then I was going home. I could study a little more at home without Georgine staring at me.

  I crunched on a chip, and Georgine made a noise.

  “If you’re not going to study anymore, you can go,” I said.

  “Fine. I’m leaving.”

  I crunched on another chip. “Really?” I tried not to sound too happy about it, but I wasn’t sure if I managed it.

  “Yes.” She quickly shoved her books into her tote. “I’ve gone over everything enough. It’s more than enough to pass.”

  Enough to pass. Right.

  I wished I could be okay with that, but I wanted an A. Dr. Richmond’s tests were notoriously hard. He always threw in questions on things that he hadn’t even covered yet. He told us that on day one of our class. He liked to see who really made an effort and who was just skating by.

  I wasn’t the kind of person that just skated by. So, I would stay and study.

  “Will you be okay here by yourself?” Georgine asked. “What if that girl comes back?”

  “She’s not coming back,” I said around another mouthful of food.

  “Can you please swallow before you talk to me?”

  I swallowed my bite and gave her a bitchy smile. “The girl isn’t coming back, so go.”

  “Fine. God. You annoy me sometimes.”

  I literally wasn’t doing anything but sitting here and eating. “Same.”

  She grabbed up her designer tote of the day. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class,” she said, and then she did the best thing ever. She walked out.

  I waited for a second, and then lifted my feet onto the chair across the table from me. Finally, I could relax.

  But then someone pulled out a chair next to me.

  “Hello?” The voice was tentative, but deep and had the kind of rumble that got under my skin.

  I swallowed my food and set down my sandwich. Something about his voice made my hands shake, and I wasn’t sure it was a good thing.

  Who was sitting beside me? Why? There were plenty of other tables.

  It took me a second to build up the courage, but I finally looked over.

  God. He was handsome. His dark hair curled a bit around his ears. He had a scruffy beard, but his smile…his smile was amazing. His eyes were glowing a little, and I blinked a few times, trying to see if it was an illusion or something, but they didn’t change. They were glowing amber.

  Oh shit. I knew what that meant. I’d seen it on TV. Werewolves had glowing eyes when their wolf was close. My mother warned me to stay away from them. They were too volatile and couldn’t be trusted not to kill you if you breathed wrong.

  I scooted my chair away a little. “What do you want?”

  “I don’t want anything.” He leaned toward me, voice soft. “Please. Don’t be afraid. I just want to talk to you.” His overly calm voice sounded like he didn’t want to freak me out, but he was failing. Everyone knew that werewolves were dangerous.

  I looked around the room to see if anyone else was seeing this—seeing him, seeing us—and my gaze found the girl from earlier. The one who freaked me out. She was standing with another short girl with dark hair in braids, and a guy that was nearly as hot at the one next to me. His chin-length straight black hair was neatly tucked behind his ears. He was tall and muscular and his eyes…

  Werewolf. He was a werewolf, too.

  “Is she your friend?” I pointed to the girl from earlier.

  He didn’t look away, but he nodded. “I know this sounds crazy, but can I touch you?”

  My fear kicked up a notch. “What? Why?” Wait. No. That wasn’t important. “No! You can’t touch me.” What an insane thing to ask a stranger. Who were these people?

  “I just…I need to touch you.”

  Was he insane? Who asked questions like that?

  I shook my head, standing up and backing away, but he stood faster than I could track and reached out, gripping my arm.

  His eyes flashed brighter, and I tried to grab my arm away, but his grip was too strong.

  “Help!” I screamed, not caring if I made a scene. A few people were wandering around the bookstore, but no one was left in the coffee shop. I needed to make a scene if I was going to get this werewolf away from me. “Someone help—”

  He pulled me close, grabbed my other arm, and gave me a shake. He was too tall. Too big. If he wanted to, he could rip my arm off with a flick of his wrist.

  “Tessa. Tessa, please! It’s me. You have to remember. You have to wake up from this spell.”

  Tessa? That wasn’t me. I wasn’t who he thought I was. There was a mistake.

  I shook my head. “I’m not who you think I am. I don’t know you. I—”

  “Yes, you do. Think back. Try. Please. We’re married. You’re my wife. You’re my mate.” His hands were gentle on me, but he had enough strength to hurt me.

  He wasn’t hurting me, though. He was confusing me. And the way he said the words wife and mate made me wish what he was saying was true.

  How could I instantly want that from a stranger?

  “I know something happened to you, and that you don’t remember anything from before—”

  Wait. “How do you know that?” How could he possibly know that I didn’t remember anything?

  There was a shout and more voices, but I couldn’t look away from this man. From the way he was holding me. From the way he was talking to me, like I meant everything to him.

  I’d never felt like that. Not with my mother. Certainly not with Georgine. And they
were all I had.

  “Please. You have to believe me. You have to try to remember. You have to fight.”

  Fight what? “I can’t. I can’t remember. I wish I knew who you were, but I don’t know you. I’m sorry. I’m not your wife. I’m not your mate. I’m not Tessa—”

  Pain split my brain in two, and I felt my body stiffen.

  And then I felt like I was falling.

  Falling.

  And I wasn’t sure anyone would catch me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  DASTIEN

  We’d found her.

  We’d actually found her.

  And now, I was in the same waiting room in the same hospital I’d been in forever ago when Samantha had gotten hurt.

  But this time it wasn’t just me and Michael waiting. It was me, Michael, Axel, Claudia, Lucas, and Samantha.

  I couldn’t believe how life always came back around. I didn’t think it would. I thought Van was wrong. I didn’t want him to be wrong, but this little voice in my mind just kept thinking that we’d never find her.

  And now we had found her. Except she was in a hospital room.

  A hospital room where I wasn’t allowed inside.

  At first, I hadn’t been allowed in because I’d been arrested. We called our friends in the FBI to vouch for us, and that took forever. They didn’t believe it was really Tessa in there.

  And then once they decided to maybe believe us—it was a whole other thing to make them let us deal with it. They wanted to ask Tessa questions and run DNA and a whole bunch of other stupid shit.

  They couldn’t ask her anything. I did, and she had some sort of massive seizure.

  I wasn’t sure what we were going to do now. We were waiting for her to wake up before we tried any magic.

  But I’d seen Tessa. For a second, I’d touched her, and I could see through all the magic.