Four Sides of an Attitude: A Cufflinks & Austen Novel

by Myers, Heather C.

  The person answered on the third ring.

  “Give me one good reason why I should take your call when I’ve not moved on yet, even though you said I would, and it’s been months,” the soft-spoken voice greeted in an uncharacteristic biting tone.

  “Listen, mate,” Aiden said, ignoring Stephen’s tone even though he knew he deserved it. “It’s a really long story, but before I go into details, I need to tell you that I’m going to need a favor….”

  Chapter 19

  The first thing I do is pull Taylor into a hug. I know that I have to be the strong one now. Taylor may like to pretend she’s strong, and for the most part she can be, but she’s also incredibly fragile. Especially when it involves family.

  Because Taylor has her internship to go to, I manage to coax her into at least attempting to get some sleep. At first, she is pretty adamant on giving that up in order to be there for her family, but I talk her out of it. If I have to spend my entire summer at my parents’ house in order to keep Taylor in her internship, I will. I know how competitive it was, and I know how proud she is that she got in. I’m not going to let Erin’s selfish act ruin that for Taylor. And plus, the only summer plans I really have is working at Penguin Books and gossiping with Kelly. And going to the beach. I can still do all of that if I just work around my parents. Taylor can’t do that with this internship. Either she’s there or she’s not, and if she’s not, she’ll be dropped from it.

  The next day, I wake up early even though I get to bed late. I make myself a much-needed and well-deserved cup of coffee. Taylor is still sleeping, but I know she’s set her alarm, and since today is an important day for her, I leave her some coffee. Just in case she forgets.

  I have no idea what I’m going to do today. Obviously, I’m heading to my parents’. Taylor already told me she would be dropping me off there on her way and she would pick me up when she came home. Normally, I would cringe at just how much time I would be over there, but I can’t. Not when they need me.

  Jesus, I wonder what Megan and Kat are going through. They won’t admit it, but they look up to Erin in some ways. Out of Taylor, Erin, and me, Erin is the only one of us that studied her ass off into get into Harvard, out of all places. And the fact that Erin threw it all away for some guy from England she doesn’t even know took everyone by surprise. That’s more of a Kat thing to do, and I wonder if Kat realizes how silly such a grand gesture is, especially if she has something she earned through hard work, determination, and practically no social life. Or Erin could possibly be Kat’s new hero. It could honestly go either way.

  “Morning,” a tired voice murmurs behind me. “Oh, is that coffee?”

  “Would you like me to pour you a cup?” I ask Taylor, offering a small smile as my good morning.

  “That would be wonderful,” she says. She gives me a tight hug before heading over to the dining table and taking a seat. “Ronnie, I’m going to ask you a question that has absolutely nothing to do with Erin or her actions. One, because I don’t want to think about what she’s done this early in the morning without my coffee, and two, because I’m curious.”

  I turn to give her an arched brow.

  Taylor blushes and glances away, but I don’t think my look has deterred her from asking whatever question she wants to ask.

  “Right,” she says, clearing her voice of whatever sleep has decided to hang on. “I was just wondering why you were staying over at Aiden Shawe’s house last night. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she adds quickly, and she blushes even more. “But the last I heard, you two weren’t very fond of each other, and while Hannah may have been your safety net, I didn’t think that you would actually end up over there unless forced.”

  I hand her the cup of coffee I’ve made for her and take a seat across from her. “Well,” I say, staring into my own caramel-colored coffee I’ve watered down with milk. “It’s kind of a long and ridiculous story.”

  “After what Erin’s done,” Taylor says after taking a long sip of the hot liquid, “long and ridiculous is greatly desired and much appreciated.”

  I grin and nod before proceeding to go into my narrative about Uncle Walker and Aunt Janie’s random selection of the Shawe house to look at and everything that stemmed from that. Though I do want to talk to somebody about my conflicting feelings regarding Aiden, I refrain, only because I highly doubt that he still feels anything for me. From the look on his face when he dropped me off last night, Erin’s little escapade was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It’s only then that I wish—as much as I hate it—I wish I am a little more perfect. I wish I could be the type of girl Aiden Shawe can love.

  “Irony never ceases to amaze me,” Taylor says when I finish. She has a coy smile on her face, and though I probably can, I don’t try and decipher it. I’m too tired, too stressed, and too sad. In that order. “Well, at least I can assume that the tension between you and Aiden is now nonexistent, correct?”

  “I think so,” I tell her, and I realize that I’m telling the truth. “I mean, at least on my end. I can’t believe how blind I was, Tay. I can’t believe how….” I let my voice trail off.

  “He was cruel to you,” Taylor points out. “You have every single right to be upset with him. But I’m glad to see that you’ve moved on.” She glances at the dainty watch on her wrist. “Ooh. We’ve got to get a move on if I’m going to drop you off in Fountain Valley.”

  I finish the rest of my coffee and change into something comfortable which includes sweatpants and a loose tank top, and after Taylor shoves a piece of toast down her throat and I grab a couple of books, we leave. I plan to call Kelly at a more appropriate hour in order to tell her the basics of what’s happened, hoping she’ll be able to rework my schedule so I can be home when I’m needed and can also make money when I need a break from my family.

  We arrive at the house fifteen minutes later than normal due to traffic, but Taylor decides she has a few minutes to say hello so she accompanies me to the door.

  “Oh, thank God you’re here,” my father says by way of greeting after he opens it. “Your mother is on the verge of having a mental breakdown, going on and on about her nerves and whatnot.”

  “Dad, I can’t stay long,” Taylor says. “I just wanted to come in, say hello, and that I’m incredibly sorry.”

  “Honey, it’s not your fault,” Dad says, placing a hand on Taylor’s shoulder. “You should probably head out though. I’ll send your mother your best, but I can’t promise you’ll leave on time if you see her.”

  She nods, says goodbye to the two of us, and leaves, promising to come back with dinner later that evening.

  I look at my father for a long moment and I realize something right then. I always knew that out of the entire family, he and I were the most alike. But I always thought our likeness was more superficial—we both like football, we don’t like dealing with Mom when she’s planning some party—but now I know it’s so much more. Because looking at Dad and how he’s dressed and that he’s shaved, and the fact that he’s barefoot and not wearing those Crocs, I realize that he’s the strong one. He has to be the strong one for Mom, just like I’m the strong one for Taylor.

  “She’s upstairs,” he tells me, not realizing what I’ve been thinking. “Kat and Megan are still probably sleeping. And Ronnie….” He places both hands on my shoulders, almost forcing my eyes to meet his. “Please be gentle. I know she’s dramatic about everything she can latch onto, but this time, she has a reason to be.”

  I smile at him, nodding my head. “Of course Dad,” I say. “I know.”

  I head upstairs and into the room my mother has shared with my father for my entire life. She’s sitting up, her back against the oak headboard, and the majority of her body kept hidden under the covers. She looks over at me when I walk in and then sighs through her nose.

  I immediately know that Erin’s departure has affected her more than I initially believed. I don’t think she’s washed her hair since she f
ound out, and the shirt she’s wearing is plain and ill-fitting. Like me, she’s opted for comfort rather than fashion, but unlike me, such a drastic change in clothes is something to take notice of. She’s even wearing her glasses instead of the contacts she normally wears because she doesn’t like the way the glasses make her look.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” I tell her, because under her sad gaze, I can’t find the right words to say.

  “You’re all ruined, you know,” she says, looking at me over the rims of her glasses. “No respectable man will associate himself with a family who doesn’t have any control over her sister, her daughter.”

  I remain silent because her words hit just a little too close to home.

  “I know what you and everyone in this family thinks,” she continues. “About me, I mean. I know you all think I’m ridiculous, throwing parties and inviting people you don’t particularly like, spending money on clothes. But I’m just trying to be better than I know I am. I’m trying to make it so you and your sisters aren’t seen as middle-class girls.”

  “But that’s what we are!” I exclaim, and then close my mouth. Maybe I’ve said too much. But right now, I think it’s what she needs to hear. “Mom, this is who we are. I say things I shouldn’t say, Taylor is demure, Kat is in love with a fictional character, Megan is trying to find her way by way of Kat, and Erin ran off with a guy from England. This is who we are, and moping around isn’t going to change that. I don’t need a mother who’s worried about how people perceive me; I need a mother who accepts us for exactly who we are. And when it concerns men, the only man I see myself happy with is one who accepts me the exact way I am, no more, no less.” I walk over to her bed and sit on the edge. “We don’t have to pretend anymore, Mom. You don’t have to pretend. You know Dad is in a work suit right now, when I’m sure he’s dying to change into sweatpants so he doesn’t have to suck in his stomach. He’s doing that for you. He loves you, just like I love you and Taylor loves you, and even though it doesn’t seem that way now, Erin loves you.”

  “You’re right,” my mother murmurs. My back straightens at hearing something I never expected; did my mother just agree with me? “We are a family. We sacrifice for each other. Oh, I hope you’re not upset with me, Ronnie. But you must understand; I’m a woman with five daughters and I’m a hopeless romantic. Instead of cringing at the fact we’ll be paying for five weddings, I look forward to it. I just want to my daughters to find happiness like I did with your father, Crocs or no Crocs.”

  I smirk, feeling my eyes tear up, but only just a little. “Mom, we don’t need a guy to be happy,” I tell her. “We just need each other.”

  “That sounded very after-school special, dear,” Mom chides me. “But I suppose it’s true. Oh, come here. Give your mother a hug.” I do as she asks me and place my head on her shoulder. “Dear God, Ronnie, when was the last time you washed your hair? And yes, maybe Erin’s actions were rash and everything, but I have to hand it to her, she did end up with a handsome man, didn’t she?” I pull back and give her a look. “I’m kidding. Although Kat showed me a picture of him on the FaceSpace or whatever it’s called, and he is handsome. Even you have to admit that.

  “Your father wants to kick his ass, you know. He says that George is well above eighteen, and any other father would understand what he’s going through. You think Erin is safe, don’t you?” This last question is serious, I can tell. “She may be in England or wherever, but George…. You think Erin is safe, don’t you?”

  I can’t answer that, but she’s looking at me with such expectation. But I remain silent. I can’t lie to her. I can’t tell her what she wants to hear.

  “I don’t know, Mom,” I say, standing up. “But I know that if Erin wasn’t, and if she had the opportunity, she would get in contact with us.”

  * * *

  As I predicted, Kelly is incredibly understanding and rearranges my schedule so I only work on weekends. Taylor and I have worked out some kind of schedule between us where she drops me off and picks me up on weekdays from the house while she heads over there on the weekends.

  It’s been a week and we haven’t heard anything from Erin. My mother’s last nerve is dwindling, which means my patience is seriously taking a beating. It’s the following Tuesday, and I swear I must have at least three gray hairs due to the stress my mother is subjecting me to. My father steps in every now and then, which is why my entire head isn’t gray, but there are some moments when I want to scream. I don’t, though. This is all Erin’s fault, and I know my mom is just taking it out on me. It still pisses me off, but I try and remember that.

  Interestingly enough, Kat and Megan are taking the entire situation in stride. Sure, they were shaken up after the initial news, but they’ve gotten used to it by now. In fact, they’re already planning on what to turn Erin’s room into if it turns out she’s really going to stay in England. They’re already planning their first trip out to visit her in order to meet “all of George’s hot English friends,” and they know that whatever trouble they get into from that moment on, it will be nothing compared to what Erin did.

  By Wednesday, I’ve talked to Hannah and told her everything. I apologize about why I left so abruptly that Sunday night and apologize again for my belated explanation. Hannah offers to come over in order to keep me company and to keep my sanity in check, but while such a distraction would be welcomed, I don’t want to subject her to my family. Not now, at least.

  But when Thursday rolls around, even I start to get worried about Erin. It’s been nearly two weeks. Shouldn’t she have gotten a hold of us by now? At least to tell us that she was all right?

  It’s after four, and my father is taking a long-overdue nap while my mother is on her fourth retail therapy session this week, leaving me in charge of Kat and Megan. I’m sitting in front of the television, watching The Wendy Williams Show when the twins come running down the steps, hollering my name.

  “What is it?” I ask, muting the television.

  “It’s Erin,” Megan says, breathless.

  “Here,” Kat says in the same voice, handing me a piece of paper. “She wrote us.”

  “On Facebook.”

  “She’s okay!”

  I snatch the paper out of her hand and it takes me three times to read the entire note with comprehension.

  Dear Family (because even though I’m writing this to you, Kat, it really is intended for the family),

  Don’t worry, I’m all right.

  George is absolutely wonderful. We have a place—a flat! —in Oxfordshire, close to Oxford University with a spectacular view of The Isis. For those of you who aren’t as well-traveled as I now am, The Isis is the section of the River Thames located in Oxfordshire.

  Speaking of Oxford, the first thing we did once we arrived was head straight to Oxford to talk about the possibility of me transferring here. At first, they wouldn’t see us, but George continued to reason with them and even pointed out that he was alumni. That managed to grant me an interview, but if Aiden Shawe hadn’t provided the necessary funds—because apparently being spontaneous won’t get an international student financial aid or student loans or anything—or the necessary forms and paperwork, I wouldn’t have been accepted.

  Aiden says he knows Ronnie—Jesus, Ronnie, how many handsome English guys do you know? —and I guess the Shawes are pretty important here because Aiden had a meeting with the dean, and once he walked out, he said that I was in, that I had an apartment, that I had tuition, and that I had a job playing the piano at a pub Aiden’s family owns, too, in order to earn money. The flat is in my name—in case George and I break up is what Aiden says, but I don’t think he likes George very much. Aiden also says that if anyone in my family wants to visit at any time, to call this number and his travel agent will book a trip. Cost is not a concern! Can you believe that?

  George is absolutely wonderful! He’s so attentive and sweet, and I can’t really believe someone like him could fall for someone like me. I know you all a
re probably upset with him about this situation, but if you just give him a chance, I promise you’ll love him nearly as much as I do.

  I start Oxford in the fall, and I start my job in a couple of weeks. George and I are settling in, and I’m giving myself some time to get used to the time change and culture shock.

  You should come visit when you can! Just, after you get over your anger with George.

  Here is the house number and my cell phone number (another gift from Aiden, by the way) if you need to call me. Just remember I’m eight hours ahead of you.

  Oh, this is a dream!

  All my love,

  Erin

  P.S. Ronnie, don’t tell Aiden I told you about his part in this. He told me not to tell! So please don’t make me a liar. Thanks!

  Oh my God.

  Oh my God.

  But why…?

  Chapter 20

  It’s Saturday night, and I’m at Penguin’s, closing up shop with Kelly. With the arrival of Erin’s Facebook message, things have calmed down at the house. In fact, Mom is excited by the prospect of visiting England, but not as excited as Kat and Megan. At least my father has his head on straight; if they’re going to visit Erin, it’ll be on his dime and not Aiden’s.

  Speaking of which, ever since that note, my mother and even my father have been pestering me about just who Aiden Shawe is. When I first answered, it was hard for me to find words to describe him. Even now, I still don’t fully understand him or what he is to me. What he did for Erin…. I wish he was here so that I could grab his shoulders and shake him, to ask him why he would do such a silly, lovely thing. Why didn’t he tell me was going to do it either? Why doesn’t he tell me now? I know he doesn’t want Erin telling me—look how that turned out—but I thought it was because he wanted to tell me. I’ve been staring at my cell phone, waiting for it to ring, for him to tell me what he’s done. Or at least to have Hannah call and say everything has been taken care of. But maybe Hannah doesn’t even know.