Universally Challenged

by Anna Bell

  ‘Let’s walk to the end of the street and get a cab back to the office.’

  ‘Ok,’ said Jess slowly. ‘But you are going to have to catch me up on all that I’m supposed to know on the deal.’ And what actually goes on behind the doors of an investment bank, Jess added silently in her head.

  ‘I’ll try, but it was supposed to be the other way round.’

  ‘Right.’ Jess and Jake walked in silence. If this was actually her life, then maybe it would come back to her. She hoped going to the office and having Jake tell her what she was already supposed to know would ring bells. She was half tempted to do a runner from Jake, as going to an office where she was supposed to be some hot shot was a scary thought. But where would she go?

  The person she wanted to speak to most desperately in the world was her husband. But where was he? She couldn’t phone him, he didn’t live in the apartment – she had no way of contacting him.

  She looked up at Jake, who was striding towards the kerb to get a cab. She had no option but to follow him, in the hope that at some point soon she’d figure out what the hell was going on.

  Chapter 7 - Jessica Anderson

  Jessica looked up at the street signs and was relieved to finally be at the intersection of Bowery and Bond Street. She had been wishing she’d paid as much attention to where the streets were located as she did to what they were called. She’d been walking up and down roads for far too long in the heat, with all the roads round the area looking the same. And unlike the rest of Manhattan, with its grid like precision, the village was a bit trickier to navigate, with little streets crisscrossing the main avenues in different directions.

  Jessica noticed the newspaper vendor who had spoken to her that morning. ‘Hey, Jess’ he called.

  Jessica gave him a little wave; she still couldn’t remember meeting him the night before. After the day she’d had with no one recognising her it was comforting when someone did: even if it was just a man selling papers.

  She jogged across the road, dodging a car that had appeared out of nowhere and stood below the apartment building she’d run out of earlier.

  ‘There you are!’

  Jessica immediately knew that voice. It belonged to Katie, her American friend. Jessica practically threw herself at the brunette, who had stood up from where she had been sitting on the apartment steps, she hugged her as if she were clinging on for dear life.

  ‘Oh my god, am I pleased to see you!’ said Jessica.

  ‘Me too. I have to pee so bad. I thought you were never going to get here.’

  Jessica pulled out of the hug. She’d noticed the smell of smoke. She looked down at Katie and there in her right hand was a cigarette.

  ‘What are you doing smoking when you’re pregnant?’

  Jessica had put her hands on her hips and glared at her friend, who looked remarkably slim for someone who was supposedly five months pregnant. ‘And for that matter, where’s Maddie?’

  ‘Firstly, I am not pregnant, and second who the hell is Maggie?’ Katie took one last long drag of the cigarette and stamped it out firmly.

  ‘Maddie, your daughter.’

  ‘Have you been eating the mushrooms again? I told Tom not to give them to you after the last time. Jeez, I knew you were hammered last night, but mushrooms?’

  Jessica looked at the slim Katie, stunned. She knew she hadn’t seen her since Maddie had been a baby, a couple of years ago, but she looked totally different. It wasn’t that she was missing the baby weight: it was just her appearance all over. Her jeans were tighter then she’d normally wear, there was bare midriff on show, and her top was just a little bit slutty for this time of the day. Totally not the type of clothes Katie would wear, now that she wasn’t at college with a nineteen-year old’s body.

  ‘What are we waiting for?’ asked Katie. ‘Are we going in?’ She was pointing at the apartment block and hopping from foot to foot crossing her legs.

  Jessica looked at her blankly. ‘I don’t have a key,’ she said.

  ‘Jeez. Good job I’m here.’ Katie dug around in her oversized handbag and retrieved a key. ‘I don’t like using my emergency key unless you’re here, but I nearly had to break it out earlier as I didn’t want to pee all over your sidewalk.’

  Katie turned the key and walked in the lobby. Without waiting for the elevator Katie ran up the stairs to the apartment Jessica had left that morning. She opened the main door and barely let Jessica in before she ran in the direction of the bathroom.

  Jessica stood in the doorway of the apartment. She still didn’t know who lived there and she didn’t want to go in. She nervously kept checking the apartment corridor in case the lead singer reappeared at any moment. She heard the chain flush from the bathroom and Katie reappeared in the living room.

  ‘What you doing out there? Come in and get me a drink. I’m dying of thirst. It’s like a zillion degrees out there.’

  Jessica went in the apartment, but didn’t close the door. She’d been unable to take in the living room that morning, but now that the blinds were open she could see the room properly. It wasn’t the world’s most spacious apartment, but it looked cosy. The walls were exposed brickwork with neatly framed vinyl record sleeves on the wall. One wall was obscured by a giant bookcase that was filled floor to ceiling with books. It was Jessica’s dream bookcase, filled with travel books and popular fiction. Jessica scanned the shelves and instantly fell in love.

  ‘What planet are you on? What is with you?’

  Jessica looked round at Katie, who was standing in the middle of the living room. She had her hands balancing on both hips. Jessica didn’t want to tell Katie about her morning. She didn’t want another person to think she was going mad. She was content enough for the minute that she had found her American best friend.

  ‘I’ll make a drink myself then, shall I?’ said Katie, laughing. ‘You want one?’

  Jessica nodded. She realised she would kill for a drink of anything. The only liquid she’d had all day was the latte Jake had bought her. She hadn’t wanted to spend too much money for fear her magic twenty would run out.

  She looked around the rest of the apartment. It had a sofa that looked amazingly comfortable, L-shaped and full of cushions. It looked like it would swallow you up the instant you sat on it.

  She walked over to the sideboard to be nosey and looked at the photos on the counter. She picked up a photo and realised it was of herself and Katie. She looked at it but had never seen it before in her life.

  Her hair was shorter than it had ever been, in a pixie boy cut, and both Katie and Jessica were glowing with a tan. It looked like they were on holiday together, judging by their skimpy dresses. Apart from trips to visit each other they hadn’t been on holiday together, and especially nowhere that included the palm trees in the back of the photo.

  She continued scanning along the photo frames before she stopped dead. There was a framed photo of Benjy: her first love. She picked it up. He was older in the photo then when she had last seen him, but there was no question it was him. He was on stage playing a guitar. Jessica couldn’t bear to look at him as it brought back too many memories of regret, so she placed the photo back down. It had been so long since she’d seen a new photo of him, although she often looked at her old photos. Usually after copious amounts of wine had been drunk.

  The last photo frame was solid silver and was clearly Benjy on his wedding day. Her heart sank: Benjy was married. She knew it would be a distinct possibility that, after all these years he’d be married, but in her heart of hearts she’d always hoped that one day he’d track her down and sweep her off her feet. She’d secretly hoped that he’d whisk her away and they’d have the life they’d planned to have all those years ago.

  She looked closer at the bride in the picture, and then all of a sudden it became clear. She dropped the photo frame and it went crashing to the ground, the glass shattering noisily. The bride in the picture was her.

  Katie ran in from the kitchen, carrying tw
o large glasses of brown liquid. ‘What the hell’s going on? Are you ok?’

  ‘I dropped, I dropped... Benjy and I are married,’ said Jessica, backing across the room. Saying it out loud didn’t make it seem anymore real. She slowly sat down on the edge of the sofa, unsure how long her legs would continue to support her.

  Katie bent down and picked up the photo frame from the floor. The glass of the frame had broken neatly in two.

  ‘Jess. You’re scaring me, what has Tom given you?’

  ‘Benjy and I are married.’

  ‘Yes, you’ve been married for seven years.’

  ‘And you don’t have kids.’

  ‘No, I don’t have kids, you’re right.’

  ‘You’re not married to Justin?’

  ‘Justin?’ Katie scrunched her eyes up, as if willing her mind to work. ‘Justin from college Justin?’

  Jessica nodded, not wanting to hear the answer.

  ‘No, I dumped him the fall that we all moved out to New York. The year you and Benjy got married. Did you hit your head last night?’

  ‘Maybe,’ said Jessica unsure. Perhaps she had hit her head, only that wouldn’t explain why she had a very different recollection of the last seven years.

  ‘Well honey, maybe we should get you to a doctor or get you checked out as you’re starting to freak me out. Justin.’ Katie shook her head. ‘I haven’t thought about him in years. I should look him up on Facebook. I bet he’s married with 2.4 kids already.’

  Jessica looked Katie in the eye. She couldn’t tell Katie that in her mind Justin was married to her and they had 1.4 kids, and would no doubt have another one after. She didn’t want to tell her they lived in a five-bedroom house in New Jersey with a dog called Rex, as clearly this Katie was a New Yorker through and through.

  ‘Did you want me to call Benjy? I could get him to come back from work early?’ said Katie.

  ‘No,’ said Jessica, a little too quickly. ‘I’m fine. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, and I’m hungover. I probably just need some rest.’

  Jessica wanted to downplay whatever was going on, she didn’t want Katie insisting she went to a doctor. With all the people she’d spoken to today telling her she was a totally different person, she was worried any medical professional would hear her story and have her committed straight away.

  ‘Well, have your iced tea, maybe that’ll help. It will give you some sugar, anyway. I just dropped by to pick up those tickets. Have you got them?’

  Before Jessica could tell that she had no idea, Katie had scoured the sideboard and found the tickets she was looking for. She waved the envelope at Jessica, downed the rest of her iced tea and disappeared into the kitchen to return the glass.

  ‘I’m off for a meeting down in Tribeca, anyway. I’ll leave you to catch up on your sleep. You’ll call me tonight, though; let me know you’re ok? I haven’t seen you this freaky since you...’ Katie stopped mid-sentence, shaking her head. ‘Never mind. So what did happen last night with Benjy after I left?’

  ‘I don’t remember.’

  Katie looked intently into Jessica’s eyes, as if she were trying to read her thoughts.

  ‘Hmm. Well, call me anyway, promise?’

  ‘Of course,’ said Jessica. She didn’t know how she was going to call her, seeing as she didn’t have a phone or know Katie’s number. But she smiled as warmly as she could.

  ‘See you later,’ said Katie leaving the apartment, ‘and give my love to Benjy.’

  Jessica looked up, and muttered. ‘Will do.’ She looked at Katie disappearing in her skinny jeans and slutty top, and wondered just what she did for a job. The Katie she knew had been a marketing executive in Trenton before she’d had Maddie, and because of the new baby on the way she hadn’t gone back to work at the end of her maternity leave. But that clearly wasn’t Katie’s life here.

  She looked around the apartment trying to take it all in. I live here. This is my apartment, and I live here with Benjy she thought.

  It didn’t feel like her home, nothing felt familiar. She sat down on the edge of the sofa, as she no longer felt her legs were able to support her. An emptiness appeared in her stomach as she started to take it all in. She couldn’t work out what was going on. How had she got here? Why did everyone keep telling her she was someone else? And then it hit her.

  ‘Oh. My. God,’ she said out loud, in a Janice-from-Friends style. She was going to see Benjy. Her stomach started to do somersaults from nerves. She sat bolt upright, trying to come up with a plan of action in her head. She had to get ready. There was no way that she was going to let Benjy see her for the first time in seven years looking like crap. Despite the fact she felt awful and could have done with crawling back into bed for a few hours she pulled herself up. She had to make herself look better than she had in years. She’d worry about what was going on later; right now the only thing that she had on her mind was seeing Benjy.

  She couldn’t believe it: after all this time Benjy was going to walk back into her life and not only that, he was her husband.

  Chapter 8 – Jess Burns

  Jess self-consciously shifted in her seat. Jake had steered her into a small conference room off the side of a big open-plan office. He said he’d be able to bring her up to speed in private there, away from prying ears in the other cubicles. But the glass walled conference room was disconcerting her. She felt like she was in a goldfish bowl, with everyone staring at her, knowing that she was a fraud.

  Any hope that she would be able to figure out what was going on when she got to the office block vanished when she arrived in the conference room. None of Jake’s explanations rang any bells of familiarity and she had begun to feel even more lost.

  Being in an office block in the financial district was a million miles away from Jess’ usual working life. She closed her eyes and wished she was surrounded by the familiar workplace chitter chatter and screaming of the children she educated. She would willingly go back to even the most whiny and exhausting children. Anything would be better than this.

  Jess didn’t understand what a fund manager at an investment bank did. She only just about understood what an investment bank actually did in the first place. And she had even less of a clue about energy companies and how they worked. Jake was trying to tell her about the different energy companies that they invested in, and how they were currently looking for greener energy companies to go after an ethical shareholder market.

  ‘So why doesn’t the Chinese government fund the plants? I thought that China was communist?’

  Jake laughed. ‘Private enterprise is big business in China, since it opened up in the late 1970s,’ he said quite slowly. He was being very patient with her and so far he had not lost his temper, despite her having asked almost a hundred questions. Jess recognised Jake’s tone of voice. It was reminiscent of the tone she used with her pupils when they asked an inane question.

  For Jess a bank was somewhere you put your money. She thought if you had enough money you bought shares and had portfolios of stock, like Benjy did. She laughed at herself: like Benjy did. Of course he only had the shares he’d been given by his father. Most of the time he sold stock rather than bought it, to fund the band’s tours. But it had never occurred to her to wonder what those stocks and shares were invested in and how the financial advisors actually made the investments.

  Benjy’s father would no doubt know quite comprehensively about the ins and outs of what investment banks did, or at least his financial advisor would have done. Not that that helped Jess at this particular moment. She couldn’t even track down her husband, let alone his father.

  ‘So,’ said Jess. She was unsure how to phrase her next question. Jess didn’t miss the long outtake of breath from Jake. She hesitated but before she could finish her sentence the glass doors opened.

  A stocky, balding, middle-aged man walked in. He was wearing what Jess believed to be a very expensive pinstripe suit, with a green tie that matched his eyes precisely. He
was a man who was plain looking and Jess thought that if she passed him in the street dressed in jeans she’d not have given him a second look, but dressed in a suit he had something about him.

  ‘Jessica Anderson, this is Roger Collins: my boss and vice president of the department,’ said Jake, standing up.

  ‘Jessica, pleasure to meet you,’ Roger said, striding across the room.

  Jess stood up and took Roger’s outstretched hand. Her stomach was in knots. She was mentally begging him not to ask her any questions.

  ‘Nice to meet you,’ said Jess in a voice that was barely audible. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry and it was difficult to get any words out.

  ‘We’re all so excited about the conference, and we’d love to hear what plans you’ve got for other investments. We’re hoping that having you over here will rub some of your good luck off on our investments’.

  Jess didn’t know what she could say to that. She had no idea how her presence anywhere would help. She just did all she could do and flashed her big cheesy grin and nodded.

  ‘Fan-tastic,’ said Roger, scaring her with his long pause on the ‘fan’ syllable.

  He waved and left the room as quickly as he’d come in.

  Who was Jess kidding? She couldn’t do this. She’d hoped she could go along with what everyone was telling her, that she was Jessica Anderson. Just being in the same room as Jake’s boss had pretty much bought her out in hives. Jake had told her she was here for a conference and a pitch meeting. She couldn’t imagine going through with that. She felt like weeping.

  ‘Can we go over the figures for the SinoDam deal regarding the emissions? Did you bring them?’ asked Jake.

  ‘Um. No.’

  Jake exhaled, looked at his watch, which caused Jess to look at hers: it was 12.30pm. They’d been going over investments for hours and they were getting nowhere.

  Jess shifted uncomfortably on her seat.

  ‘Look, I’ve got to make some calls and check some emails. Why don’t you go back to the hotel, sort yourself out? Then we’ll meet tonight, and we can do a working dinner.’