Lost at Sea

by A. E. Radley

  She’d abandoned the idea of getting an ice cream and instead walked slowly back to the port. Most of the walk was through seedy industrial areas. It had taken a long time and she was in danger of missing the ship, but she didn’t particularly care.

  All she could think about was wishing that things were different.

  What if she’d boarded the ship as Annie Peck? Would Caroline still have looked at her the way she did on the pool deck the previous day? Would Caroline even know she existed?

  Probably not.

  The thought gnawed at Annie because she had come to feel so close to Caroline in such a short space of time. Like somehow, she could see right into her soul and understand things about Caroline that others couldn’t.

  Annie could see the way Caroline so expertly socialised with the passengers; she was great at that aspect of her job, but there was a tiny part of her that looked like she didn’t want to be there. It was so subtle that Annie was sure she was the only one to see it. But see it she did. And she felt it in her heart because she’d been doing the same for years.

  As Diego’s girlfriend, and later on a part of his entourage, she’d been expected to play a certain role. She’d had to act as if the sun rose and set on the man, portray an image that told everyone in their group that Diego was a god in her eyes.

  On top of that, she’d had to socialise with Diego’s colleagues, associates, and even his enemies. She’d had to smile and make small talk with the worst people on the planet.

  It was all an act, but no one could ever know.

  She wondered what her life would have been like if she had met Caroline rather than Diego five years ago. Things could have been so very different. But she was a mess back then, someone she didn’t recognise anymore.

  She walked up the gangway ramp and into the ship, holding out her pass card and wondering if this would be the time she was discovered and, strangely enough, not particularly caring. She felt too heartbroken to really care. It would just be another thing on top of the huge disaster that was her life at the moment.

  “Welcome aboard, Miss Rubio,” the security guard said.

  “Thank you,” Annie mumbled.

  She passed the security desk and walked around the corner to the elevators. The feeling of sickness was back, but this time it wasn’t from the choppy waters.

  The Best Friend Speech

  Caroline entered the royal box of the on-board Aldridge Theatre, which housed a show twelve times a week. It included live singing, dancing, acrobatics, and aerial stunts. It was probably tremendously impressive to those who hadn’t seen it twice a week for the last three years.

  The problem with Fortuna’s schedule was that Caroline ended up seeing the same thing time after time. It was impossible to mix it up and one day change her mind and attend the ice-skating studio instead. The schedule was the same week in, week out, and the people who liked to be seen with the captain expected it to remain the same.

  The royal box was already full of the people who had received invitations that day, invitations chosen by Dominic, primarily based upon the pecking order of how many previous cruises the guest had been on.

  It was one of the things Caroline disliked about the cruising industry, the hierarchy. The more you cruised, the more benefits you were given. Time with Caroline was considered a benefit, and therefore she was made to spend her time with whomever had cruised the most in the past.

  More often than not, those people were terrible snobs.

  “Tell me, Graham, where is the lovely Serena Rubio? I didn’t see her at dinner,” Margaret Whitchurch asked.

  “She’s been busy,” Graham said, “but I’m hoping to be able to convince her to do a little performance to just a select few. Maybe in the Dreams Plus Champagne lounge.”

  “Oh, that would be a delight!” Margaret said.

  Caroline took her seat beside Mara at the back of the box, not wishing to interrupt the conversation.

  “If she wears what she wore at dinner that first night, it would be more than just a delight,” Jonathan Spires spoke up.

  Caroline pinned him with a glare, but he didn’t notice.

  Margaret playfully slapped his arm. “Oh, Jonathan!”

  Apparently horribly objectifying statements could be swept under the carpet with a chuckle and a tap. Caroline stared at the ceiling and willed herself to not say anything.

  “Nice afternoon in Marseille?” Mara whispered.

  “It was for a while,” Caroline confessed.

  “What happened?” Mara asked.

  “Graham, you must get Miss Rubio to join us for the formal night tomorrow. We’re at the later seating, so we can then take her to Sparkles and get a chance to have some photos with her. Maybe she can help our Theresa with her music lessons,” Margaret suggested.

  “Absolutely, maybe she could do a small performance there?” Graham suggested.

  “As long as that doesn’t interfere with a more private performance at a later date,” Margaret said.

  Caroline let out a small huff. She leaned forward into the group.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have it on good authority that Miss Rubio is here to rest and won’t be performing at all. I think asking her to do so may put her in an awkward position,” she said.

  “Serena and I have been speaking, and I’m sure she won’t mind a little—” Graham started.

  “She would. She’s here on holiday, and I would very much appreciate it if she was left to enjoy that holiday.”

  The group half-heartedly agreed, but Caroline could tell that any one of them would happily take any given opportunity to solidify a faux friendship with the singer in order to get their wishes.

  “If you’ll excuse us, I just have to borrow Captain West for a couple of moments,” Mara said, standing up and gesturing for Caroline to follow her out of the box.

  Caroline did as she was asked and then followed Mara behind an inconspicuous door to the crew-only area.

  “What was that?” Mara demanded the moment the door closed behind them.

  “What?”

  Mara folded her arms. “You know what I’m talking about. Jumping to Miss Rubio’s defence at the risk of upsetting Plus guests. That’s not like you, Caroline.”

  Caroline turned away in frustration before quickly spinning back. “I have a… complicated relationship with Miss Rubio.”

  “Define ‘complicated’,” Mara asked, her tone softening.

  Caroline wished it were that easy. It would be wonderful to be able to put whatever was happening into words.

  “There’s… a tension between us,” she explained.

  “A bad tension?” Mara frowned in confusion.

  “Depends on your perspective. She’s, well, I think she’s been flirting with me. And we keep bumping into each other, and she’s very… intriguing.”

  Mara chuckled, and Caroline glared at her.

  “I’m sorry.” Mara held up her hands. “I’m sorry, you have a crush on her, I assume?”

  “Crush sounds a little juvenile,” Caroline argued.

  “Fine, whatever appropriate word you’d like to replace it with. Do you have one of them?”

  Caroline shrugged her shoulders gently. “I don’t know. I’m just… drawn to her. I enjoy talking to her, I can’t stop thinking about her. But it’s more than a crush. If it even is a crush. I don’t know. I’m not making any sense. I’m losing my mind.” Caroline put one hand on her hip and held her forehead with the other. “And she’s twenty-six. Half my age. I’ve been alive twice as long as she has. What am I doing? It’s insanity.”

  “I saw a video on Facebook the other day about an adorable lesbian couple with something like a thirty-five-year age gap between them.” Mara reached for her bag to get her phone.

  Caroline held up her hand. “I don’t need to see it.”

  “Is she gay?” Mara asked.

  “I don’t know.” She didn’t know anything anymore. She felt like she was crawling out of her sk
in. “I think she’s been flirting with me. She offered to buy me an ice cream.”

  “Aw, that’s cute!”

  “Mara, I swear to you, I will throw you overboard,” Caroline threatened.

  Mara tried to compose herself, clearly enjoying the fact that Caroline was struggling with whatever was happening between her and Serena. “I’m sorry. Okay. Firstly, there’s no rule against you dating a guest, so that isn’t an issue. Secondly, I can’t remember the last time you were with someone, so it’s really about time.”

  “Mara,” Caroline warned.

  Mara removed her glasses. “If you knew that she was interested, like she said she was interested, what would you do?” she asked.

  Caroline shook her head. “I’m not talking about this, it’s… just ridiculous. This sailing will be over in a few days, and then things will go back to normal.”

  “Yes, you’re absolutely right,” Mara agreed. “You should just ignore the chance to actually hang out with someone whose company you enjoy. God forbid you have any fun.”

  “Mara,” Caroline said with exasperation.

  “Caroline, this entire ship is dedicated to having fun. It employs over a thousand people, an army, to ensure that people have a good time on board. Can’t you take just a little bit of that spirit and enjoy the fact that you’ve met someone who intrigues you? Someone who might be interested in you?”

  “I just don’t understand how someone like her could be interested in someone like me. I must be misreading the signals. Projecting my own… crush… on her.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. There, she’d admitted it. She had a crush on Serena Rubio. “It’s ridiculous.”

  “Why?” Mara asked.

  “I hardly know her. We set sail on Sunday, it’s Tuesday! And I can’t stop thinking about her.”

  “It happens like that sometimes,” Mara said.

  “Not to me,” Caroline argued.

  “Well, no, but to us mere mortals it has been known to happen. Why do you think there are so many stories of people’s eyes meeting across a crowded room? Sometimes you just know.”

  “But it seems so… pointless. A few more days and she’ll be gone. And we could never last. As I said, I’m double her age.”

  “Things rarely last forever. You have to enjoy life when the opportunity presents itself. It’s not marriage, Caroline. It’s just enjoying someone’s company. Maybe a drink, maybe a kiss. Maybe more. You don’t have to have a five-year plan before you even decide if you have a crush on someone or not. Just enjoy yourself. You obviously feel something for her; take that as a sign and enjoy that time together.”

  Caroline wanted to argue, but she realised she couldn’t. Everything Mara said made sense. It was Caroline’s overthinking that was making things balloon out of control.

  “Fine,” she agreed. “But I won’t seek her out.”

  “I’m not saying you should,” Mara agreed readily. “But if you do see her, have fun. Maybe flirt back a little. Don’t deny yourself the chance to be happy for a while. Explore opportunities whenever you can. Who knows where they might lead?”

  “Did you read that quote online?” Caroline asked.

  “Yes, I shared it. Twenty-seven likes.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  They heard the band start up, indicating that the show was about to start.

  “We better get back. Do you feel you can stop yourself from throttling Graham?” Mara asked.

  “It will be a struggle,” Caroline admitted. She took a deep breath and stood up straight. “Let’s do it.”

  Mara nodded and opened the door for them to return to the guest area. Caroline followed her back to their seats in the royal box, her mind swimming with thoughts of Serena. The high-flying aerial acrobatics couldn’t hold her attention as she considered all of the interactions they’d had and what they could possibly mean.

  She found it almost impossible to make sense of it all, and she would keep to her word and not deliberately seek her out. But if their paths did cross again, maybe she would take Mara’s advice and see where it led.

  Good Morning

  “Good morning, good morning, good morning.”

  Annie grabbed a pillow and put it over her head to muffle Caroline’s traditional morning greeting. She could hear the welcome speech continue in the background regardless and realised it was pointless. She slowly lowered the pillow.

  “As you know,” Caroline was saying, “La Spezia is the gateway to Pisa and Florence, so there is plenty to see and do at this port. Please remember that all aboard is at eight this evening. Have a lovely day, whatever you decide to do.”

  Annie let out a sigh. Caroline had made it very clear that she wasn’t interested in her for whatever reason. Maybe some rule about not being allowed to date passengers, knowing Caroline. It was her sense of duty that somehow made her all the more attractive to Annie.

  It didn’t matter because Annie knew that she shouldn’t be flirting with Caroline anyway. It was a disaster in the making to continue down that path. Not fair on Caroline, and dangerous for her.

  So, in some ways, it was a blessing that Caroline had put a stop to things. At least, that was the way Annie had interpreted her behaviour and sudden need to run away, back to the safety of Fortuna.

  It certainly felt like rejection, and Annie knew she had to accept that.

  She padded out of bed and grabbed the DreamFinder newsletter, looking for some kind of distraction. It was the third day of the cruise, nearly halfway done. Annie had found distraction in Caroline and had conveniently pushed aside the bigger issue facing her.

  Now time was running out, and she needed to decide what she was doing. The next day the ship would stop in Rome, the day after in Naples, and the day after that was a full day at sea before returning to Barcelona early in the morning.

  Annie was torn. She knew Barcelona; it felt like home to her. She had a couple of contacts she might be able to trust, and she knew where everything was. It was also far more likely that she would be seen and identified in Barcelona before she had time to properly escape. Returning to the burning building, even if it was her home, seemed like a very bad idea.

  Which left Rome or Naples. Unless she was going to swim to Corsica on the sea day. An image of Caroline being furious at having to turn the ship around due to a woman overboard flashed through her mind.

  No, she’d have to leave at a port.

  Naples seemed like the better idea. More time to plan. She needed to get Serena’s stuff back to her without alerting anyone to the fact that she wasn’t Serena herself. It was all becoming rather complicated.

  She wiggled her tense shoulders. There was a lot to think about, and she was becoming more tense as Fortuna slowly crawled its way around the destination ports. Every port brought a possibility of escape, but its own challenges as well.

  Getting off the ship the previous day had helped to calm her. Being away from the goldfish-bowl existence on board was a nice relief. She looked at the excursions for La Spezia; most of them involved a long journey to Florence or to Pisa.

  The last thing she wanted was to go from feeling cooped up on a large ship to being confined to a seat on a coach for hours on end to view a poorly constructed tower that was slowly falling over.

  She crossed to the curtains and pushed one to the side, peeking out at La Spezia. There seemed to be shops and restaurants not too far from the ship. It certainly seemed like a lively enough port town that she would be able to find something to do ashore.

  “Lunch in town, I think,” she decided.

  She lowered the curtain, feeling a pull in her shoulder muscle as she did. She winced. Before then, she needed some distraction and maybe some exercise. Stretching out her back muscles before she permanently injured herself had risen to the top of her to-do list.

  A Great View

  Caroline entered the bridge a little later than she had been anticipating. It had been a hectic morning with the early arrival into La Spezia and t
hen a handful of meetings with various departments. Caroline often considered Fortuna akin to a swan, both gliding effortlessly through the water, but behind the scenes it was utter mayhem.

  She crossed the bridge, looking out of the large expanse of windows towards the port of La Spezia. It was her second favourite port in Italy. The dramatic landscape of beautiful, luscious mountains framed the view. In front of her, the port contained many beautiful buildings in various pastels, and the industrial port and the small marinas could be seen directly below them.

  La Spezia showcased the beauty of Tuscany perfectly.

  Or maybe she was just in a very good mood. She’d slept well for the first time in a long time. It was possible that her mini meltdown from the evening before had exhausted her enough to finally help her sleep.

  The much-needed rest would hopefully allow her to push all thoughts of Serena to one side for a while. She had a few more hours of meetings aboard the ship and then she had some time to herself ashore. She already knew exactly where she was going and exactly what she would eat when she got there.

  The joy of going to the same places again and again was the opportunity to discover the real gems that no one else got to see. Caroline had her favourite spots in each port, and when she did get time off the ship, she loved to spend some quiet alone time in them.

  Something caught her eye, and she glanced downwards. The health and fitness centre was located three decks below the bridge, and every week they held a yoga class right at the front of the ship. On the emergency helipad.

  The helipad was never used. The logistics of trying to get a helicopter to land on a ship bobbing on the water meant that both the ship and the helicopter had to perform some skilful manoeuvring. On top of that, there were very limited times when the ship was close enough to land to be accessible by a helicopter. Most of the time they were out of the helicopter’s limited reach.

  Not to mention they had a well-stocked hospital on board, which was often technologically advanced to match the nearest hospital on land.