by A. E. Radley
“So did I, I’m sorry to cut it short,” Caroline said. “And I’m also sorry I won’t get to see you tomorrow.”
“You apologise a lot,” Serena said. “I’m glad I got to monopolise your time for as long as I did.”
Caroline wanted to point out that it wasn’t monopolising in her eyes. If she had her way, she’d spend many more hours with Serena. Her eyes flickered to the bed, and she had to wonder what might have been.
And what would very likely happen if she stayed in the room another moment.
“Hopefully, I’ll see you soon,” she said. She picked up her jacket from the bed.
“You have my number.” Serena winked.
She stood up, a little shorter than Caroline without her heels. She pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “Good night, Caroline.”
Caroline whispered, “Good night.”
She let herself out of the stateroom, quietly closing the door behind her. She was glad that no other passengers were in the corridor; she had a feeling she probably looked a bit of a mess. At the very least, she knew she had a glassy look in her eyes.
She walked along the long corridor of deck fourteen towards the crew area, having every intention of quickly popping into her own room to check her appearance before going to the bridge. The call wasn’t an emergency, she had a few minutes to get herself together.
In all her career, she had never had an evening quite like it. And the kiss was incredible. Unexpected, but incredible.
She couldn’t believe that someone like Serena was interested in someone like her. Someone as old as she was. The thought had crossed her mind that maybe she was a fling to Serena, a conquest of sorts. Caroline hoped that wasn’t the case but couldn’t lower her guard enough to completely disregard the thought.
If it is all an act, she’s damn good at it, Caroline thought.
She’d always been cautious, but this situation seemed to have gotten away from her. It was like she had no control as her burgeoning relationship with Serena raced ahead of her. She felt like she was running to keep up.
She wanted to know what Serena really thought about the whole thing. They hadn’t discussed it, keeping the conversation light whenever possible. Caroline presumed that she was falling for Serena in a much deeper way than Serena was falling for her.
She tried to remind herself that she was supposed to be having fun and not looking ten steps ahead. They were simply enjoying time together, not planning for the future. As much as that killed Caroline because that was something she always needed to do.
She swiped into the crew area and then into her stateroom. Whatever was happening with her private life would have to wait.
She had a job to do.
Good Morning
“Good morning, good morning, good morning.”
Annie grinned. She looked up at the speaker. “Good morning to you, too,” she said.
“And welcome to the Italian port of Civitavecchia,” Caroline continued.
“Thank you,” Annie said to the metal grill in the ceiling.
“The gateway to Rome,” Caroline explained. “It is seven twenty-two, and I’m happy to announce that the gangway is open, and you are free to disembark the ship. Today, you’ll be disembarking from deck number two, that’s deck number two. Please be back aboard by seven-thirty this evening. Have a wonderful day exploring.”
The moment the broadcast ended, Annie picked up the remote control and turned on the television. In a few moments, Caroline appeared on the screen, navigational maps forming a backdrop behind her. Annie had never before given a damn about the weather reports. To be honest, she didn’t care about them now much either. But seeing Caroline some more, whenever she wanted, was a treat she wasn’t going to deny herself.
She hadn’t intended to kiss Caroline the night before, but she wasn’t sorry that she had. Knowing that there was a price on her head, and that she may well be killed soon if Diego had his way, had started to change her outlook on things. Dying was going to be pretty terrible; knowing that she’d lived the last few days or weeks of her life to the fullest would make it slightly less so.
The ever-present impulsive side of her was becoming uncontrollable. The guilt was still there, making itself known every now and then by stabbing needles into her stomach lining.
She hated lying to Caroline, but things had gone so far now that she couldn’t stay away if she tried. Half the time she forgot that she was living a lie when she was with Caroline. They didn’t talk about Serena or her work; they talked about Caroline, or about food, movies, the weather, travel. It was easy to pretend that she wasn’t playing at being someone else, because when she was with Caroline… she rarely was.
And the kiss.
Annie let out a dramatic sigh and giggled to herself. It had been such a spur-of-the-moment thing. Annie just felt she had to kiss Caroline in that moment, that she would never forgive herself if she let the perfect opportunity go to waste.
It had been a while since she’d kissed a woman. Now she was wondering why she’d ever bothered with men. She’d always known she was bisexual, even in school where she couldn’t decide between the sexes.
In her late teens, she’d dated men. In her early twenties, she’d dated women. Then she’d met Diego.
The smile vanished from her face at the memory of him. She’d been so in love with him, or maybe with the idea of him. The relationship had burned hard and fast for a while, eventually faltering and turning into a sort of friendship. Or so Annie had thought.
In hindsight she understood that he kept her around to keep her under control. Annie hadn’t questioned any of it. She’d become one of the many people who surrounded Diego, not within the inner circle but just a groupie.
She felt like a fool.
Being on Fortuna had been an eye-opening experience. Her fear of being found had dissipated, and with it had come a realisation that she had wasted five years of her life on a man she didn’t love. A man she didn’t even like.
Everything was such a mess. She wanted to rewrite her narrative, to be able to be herself aboard. To be able to tell Caroline everything. She looked at Caroline’s smiling face, explaining weather patterns over Corsica.
Maybe she’d understand, she thought. Or maybe she’d be rightly furious.
The idea of hurting Caroline was more painful than the thought of being thrown in an Italian prison somewhere. She wanted to believe that Caroline would help her, but she knew that finding out the truth would hurt Caroline immensely. Annie hated the idea of that.
Moreover, her subconscious persistently reminded her that Captain Caroline West could never be interested in someone like Annie Peck.
She got out of bed and stretched her arms above her head. She used the bathroom and tossed on some casual clothes before sitting on the sofa and studying the DreamFinder to see what she might do that day.
Elvin knocked on the door to deliver breakfast. Annie knew it was an excessive luxury, but she didn’t want to spend too much time in the main dining room in case she bumped into people like Graham. Or any of the other people who pointed and stared at her when they thought she wasn’t looking.
Being a celebrity, even a fake one, was zero fun.
She opened the door, and Elvin pushed the breakfast trolley in. “Good morning, Miss Serena! Did you sleep well?” he asked.
“I did. How about you?”
“Like a baby,” he said. “Are you going to Civitavecchia today?”
“Elvin, I can’t even say Civi…ta…whatsit.” She poured herself some coffee, feeling guilty that he was serving her when she was perfectly capable of doing things herself.
“You must. People go to Rome, but you don’t need to go that far. The port has amazing buildings,” Elvin enthused. “Designed by Leonardo da Vinci.”
Annie flipped over the DreamFinder to look at the information about the port.
“And on the piazza, there’s a restaurant that does the best ice cream. And pizza,” Elvin continued. “Even if you get off t
he ship for just an hour, you’ll see so much.”
Annie considered it for a moment. She didn’t have any plans, and it did seem like a good place to spend some time. She knew she wouldn’t see Caroline that day with her back-to-back meetings, so taking her mind off of things could be a good idea.
“You know, I think I will. It will be a good distraction.”
“Distraction from vacation?” Elvin asked, looking confused.
“No, well…” She paused. She’d slipped up and wasn’t sure what to say. Elvin continued to look at her expectantly.
“I heard from a friend,” she started. “Well, I thought she was a friend, but she lied to me about something. Now I’m wondering whether to forgive her.”
It was suitably vague, nothing that would incriminate her. Certainly not considering she was saying it to Elvin.
“Was it a big lie?” he asked.
Annie tilted her head to the side to think about the question. It was the biggest of lies, but then it also wasn’t. She didn’t continue to perpetuate the lie, wherever possible anyway.
“Yes and no,” she finally said. “In some ways, it was a very big lie. But in some ways, it doesn’t matter that much.”
Elvin chewed his cheek and looked up at the ceiling as he considered the conundrum. “If she was a good friend, and she means her apology, then you should forgive her,” he said. “People make mistakes. Maybe she lied for a good reason.”
“I think she did,” Annie agreed.
“Then you should forgive her.”
“But she lied to me, and I feel hurt,” Annie said. In her mind’s eye she could see Caroline’s confused and pained expression, something which kept appearing to her no matter how much she tried to push it away.
“Can you get over it?” Elvin asked.
That was the big question. It wasn’t necessarily how big the lie was, whether it was done for good reason or not. It was all about if the person being lied to could get beyond it. Could they forgive?
“I hope so,” Annie said.
A Private Word
Annie stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the second floor. She’d decided to take Elvin’s advice and see what the port town had to offer. Maybe she’d take a few moments to learn how to pronounce its name
Probably not. Annie and languages didn’t mix.
The doors opened on the next floor down, and the female doctor that she had seen on the promenade the second night stepped in.
“Good morning,” she greeted.
“Hello,” Annie said.
“It’s Miss Rubio, isn’t it?”
Annie nodded.
“I’m Mara Perry.” Mara held out her hand, and Annie shook it. “Caroline mentioned you.”
“All good I hope?” Annie asked, wondering if Mara was going to turn out to be some jealous competition.
“Very good. I’m glad you two have been spending time together. Caroline rarely allows herself to have any fun. She needs to be forced to enjoy herself from time to time.”
Annie chuckled. The description matched up with what she knew of Caroline.
The elevator doors opened again, and Mara stepped out, wishing her a pleasant day. Annie patiently waited for the elevator to resume its course to the second floor. She wished, not for the first time, that she could stay in the cocoon of Fortuna forever. She felt safe, welcome, and happy.
But it was fast coming to an end. Annie cursed Serena’s manager for not choosing a fourteen-day cruise at the very least.
The elevator arrived at the correct floor, and she followed the signage and got to the open gangway before coming to a dead stop. Caroline was talking to someone by the security podium. She was deeply engrossed in a conversation which sounded… Italian.
She wore her black trousers and just a white, short-sleeved shirt, with an open collar and no tie. It was as casual as Caroline on duty got, and it was disastrously sexy for Annie.
Caroline must have felt she was being watched and turned around. She grinned and went back to her conversation, finishing it up quickly, as she soon turned again.
“Miss Rubio,” Caroline said, walking over to her.
“Captain West.” Annie smiled.
“May I speak with you for a moment? In private?” Caroline asked professionally. She held her arm up, gesturing for Annie to walk away from the gangway.
Annie’s heart rate picked up, and she started to panic. She had no choice and walked in the direction Caroline had pointed in. They rounded a corner, and Caroline swiped open a door to a crew-only area.
They stepped through the door, and Annie looked around in fascination. Carpeted floors and wood-panelled walls faded away; in the crew area everything was grey and white metal.
“Is something—” Annie started.
She couldn’t finish the sentence as Caroline turned and pulled her into a kiss. It was quite a surprise and very unlike the adorably slow-on-the-uptake Caroline from the previous night.
Annie quickly sank into the kiss. She’d promised herself that she would enjoy every moment, and this was one of the moments which she fully intended to enjoy. She pushed her hands over Caroline’s shoulders and interlocked them behind her head. She wanted to run her fingers through the thick, dark locks, but knew better than to dishevel Caroline while she was clearly on duty.
A door slammed in the distance, echoing down the long, empty corridor. They pulled apart, even though no one was close enough to see them. They both giggled at their behaviour.
“I’m sorry,” Caroline said. She didn’t look particularly apologetic. “I had just wanted to thank you for your time last night. I didn’t get a chance to say that before I was called away. But then I saw you… and realised I might not see you all day…”
“Nothing to apologise for,” Annie said.
“Dine with me this evening?” Caroline asked before quickly wincing at her outburst. “Unless you have plans. I mean you don’t have to dine with me each night. I know it must get boring… and I can’t guarantee that Graham won’t be there this time.”
“I would love to have dinner with you. And we could be surrounded by a hundred Grahams, it wouldn’t make a difference to me,” Annie confessed.
“What a terrible mental image,” Caroline said.
“I know, I must really like you,” Annie whispered.
Caroline opened her mouth to reply, but her radio crackled. “Come in, Eagle One?”
Caroline looked frustrated and apologetic at the interruption.
“What time should I expect you?” Annie asked, ignoring the fact that their time together had been cut short.
“Seven?” Caroline asked.
“Great, I look forward to it.”
“I’m so sorry, I—”
“Have to work,” Annie finished. “I know. I understand. Go and do whatever it is you do. I’ll see you tonight.”
Caroline opened the door and led Annie back into the guest-facing area of the ship where there were passengers and crew members.
“Thank you, Miss Rubio. Have a pleasant day in Civitavecchia,” Caroline said.
“I will. Thank you, Captain,” Annie replied.
She gave Caroline a cheeky wink before she turned and left, loving how Caroline’s cheeks blushed as she did.
A Note
Caroline was getting ready for dinner when there was a knock on her stateroom door. She really didn’t have time for any further delays. Every single meeting that day had overrun horribly, and she’d not had a moment to herself.
She opened the door; one of the attendants stood in the hallway.
“Sorry, Captain. A note for you.” He handed over the Dream-issued envelope.
“Thank you.” She took the note and closed the door. It wasn’t unusual for her to receive notes; the passengers didn’t have access to her telephone and therefore they had to resort to older-fashioned methods. Most of the time it was an invitation to an event or a private gathering which she often had to decline.
; She tore open the envelope and took out the slip of paper.
Her jaw tensed. It was from Serena, saying she couldn’t make dinner that evening.
Caroline let out a deep sigh. Her one highlight of the busy and stressful day had been the thought of seeing Serena that evening.
There was no explanation as to why she was cancelling. Caroline wondered if she should go and knock on Serena’s door and see if she was okay. Or maybe call? A small voice told her that could be considered overstepping.
Serena was not obligated to give a reason for cancelling. Caroline had to accept her wishes, even if they were entirely opposite to her own.
She looked at her watch; she was running a little late. Not that she had any appetite left.
Had she been dumped?
She snorted a laugh. Was it possible to be dumped from whatever relationship they had been in? Was it even a relationship?
The not knowing was stressful. Caroline liked things to be organised and easy to understand. Her… whatever it was with Serena was neither of those things.
She looked at the letter again.
There was a strong possibility that whatever it was had now ended.
There was a chance that Serena had decided enough was enough. She’d had her fun, and now she’d spend the last two days of the cruise doing other things. Meeting other people.
It was a fear that Caroline had always carried with her, the worry about not being enough, especially when work dominated so much of her time. She knew it was hard for anyone to be with her when the other person in the relationship was every single crewman and passenger aboard Fortuna.
It still stung, even if she didn’t know the reason for the cancellation.
She folded up the paper and placed it back into the envelope. She didn’t have time to overthink things; she had to get to dinner.
The end of the meal couldn’t come quickly enough for Caroline. The moment it was socially acceptable, she excused herself under the guise of official business. She felt a little guilty to use the lie, especially considering everyone on board was technically ship’s business.
