by A. E. Radley
Nevertheless, she’d made her decision. She needed to speak with Serena and find out what had happened. To see if the young woman was sick, or simply sick of her.
As she walked down the corridor towards Serena’s stateroom, she could see that the door was wedged open and the housekeeping trolley was outside.
Caroline stopped and peeked inside. The attendant stopped what he was doing and looked up at her.
“Hello, Captain West,” he greeted her, looking a little anxious at her presence.
“Do you happen to know where Miss Rubio is?” Caroline asked.
He nodded and pointed to the ceiling. “The pool deck, she wanted to watch the sunset.”
Caroline hadn’t expected him to know. It wasn’t usual for passengers to tell their stateroom attendant their every movement. She’d expected nothing more than an apologetic shrug.
“Are you going to see her, ma’am?”
Caroline nodded. “If I can find her.”
He held up a finger, asking her to wait a moment. Caroline frowned, watching as he came around the bed and disappeared out of sight by the wardrobe. He returned a second later with a thick hoodie.
“I told her to take this, but she forgot. She will be cold. Can you take this to her?”
Caroline took the soft garment and smiled. Clearly Serena had a much closer relationship with her attendant than most guests. She’d obviously made a positive impression on him.
“I will. Thank you, Elvin,” she said, reading his name badge.
He smiled brightly and then bowed a little, backing into the room to get on with his work.
Caroline gripped the hoodie, resisting the urge to bring it to her face and inhale. She could smell Serena’s sweet perfume drifting up from the garment already.
She walked towards the elevator lobby, trying to ignore how she had picked up considerable speed. The need to see Serena and find out what was happening was growing with each passing minute.
Luckily, she spotted Serena the moment she walked out onto the pool deck. She was standing by the railing, looking out at the sun as it raced down to meet the ocean. Caroline felt her breath catch in her throat. She truly was beautiful.
Caroline walked over, attempting to look casual. “Miss Rubio.”
Serena spun around. “Caroline! I… I thought you’d be busy.”
“Shall I leave you alone?” Caroline asked. She wordlessly held the hoodie towards Serena, noting the goose-bumped flesh on her bare arms.
“No, I’m glad you’re here,” Serena said. She took the hoodie and smiled. “Elvin?”
“He seems very fond of you,” Caroline said.
“He is wonderful. You need to give him a raise.”
“Not my department,” Caroline replied.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make dinner,” Serena said, tugging the hoodie on over her head. She seemed genuinely apologetic, and some of the weight on Caroline’s shoulders eased.
“Are you okay?” Caroline asked.
Serena opened her mouth to answer but stopped dead, looking over Caroline’s shoulder. Caroline turned. Someone was taking photographs of them, pretending that they were photographing the sunset behind them.
Caroline smiled at the passenger and then nodded her head to Serena in a silent suggestion that they walk farther along the deck. Serena quickly agreed, and they walked along the railing a little.
It was a particularly beautiful sunset; the sky was painted with pinks and purples, and more and more passengers were piling out of the restaurants and onto the deck to get photographs. In the distance, a violin was playing in the park; if Caroline wasn’t so worried, she would have found the whole situation quite romantic.
“Sorry,” Serena whispered. “I… I had a lot on my mind. And I realised I needed to tell you something very important, but dinner wasn’t the place to say it.”
Caroline started to worry again. She was about to ask what was on Serena’s mind and reassure her that everything would be fine, but more passengers started to gather around them. This group weren’t interested in them but were standing close enough that a private conversation was impossible.
Serena took Caroline’s arm and walked them away from the railing, towards the middle of the deck.
“Are you okay?” Caroline asked.
“Yes, I just…” Serena closed her eyes and rubbed at her face. “It’s hard to explain. I…”
“Captain, can we have a photo with you, please?”
Caroline wanted to scream. Instead she turned around and offered the family of four her best smile. “Of course,” she agreed.
The photo was taken, and the family moved on. However, they’d attracted the attention of other guests, and Caroline knew she would soon be mobbed.
“Can we take this to another location?” Caroline asked.
“Agreed,” Serena said.
They walked towards the back of the ship, away from the crowds who were focused on the sunset. There were still passengers meandering around, but considerably fewer.
“What is it?” Caroline asked, desperate to know what was happening.
Serena looked pale, and not just because of the cold temperatures on deck.
“I…” She looked down at the floor. “I haven’t felt this way before,” she confessed. “I… this kind of thing doesn’t happen to me. And now it has and I’m really messed up. I feel so many strong feelings for you, and I… I don’t know… I just…”
Caroline licked her lips nervously. Was this all just a case of nerves? Had Serena developed serious feelings for her and been spooked? While she didn’t want Serena to feel bad, it would be the best possible outcome.
“I feel the same way,” Caroline blurted. “There’s something between us, I feel it.”
Serena’s head snapped up. Her eyes were wide.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Caroline said. “I know it’s ridiculous, we’ve spent so little time together. But I can’t control myself.”
“I feel the same,” Serena whispered. “It’s just—”
“I know, it’s confusing,” Caroline said. “But I’m so relieved that we feel the same way about this. I was going to ask you tonight if you’d spend the day with me tomorrow in Napoli?”
“What?” Serena looked shocked.
“Napoli, Naples,” Caroline explained. The schedule, being written for the English-speaking market, listed the port as Naples and it often caused confusion. “It is my favourite town; I’d love to show you around. I have the whole day free. Please say you’ll come with me? I have things I want to show you.”
Caroline practically shook with nerves. It was a huge step. Napoli was like her second home. It was somewhere dear to her, somewhere she never took guests. But Serena wasn’t just anyone, and she’d admitted that whatever was pulling them together wasn’t just in Caroline’s head. Serena felt it, too.
Napoli was also the place where she would be able to properly explain to Serena what her chaotic life looked like and try to figure out if they could possibly bend their schedules to have the chance at a future together.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an elderly couple whispering to each other and gesturing towards her. She knew it wouldn’t be long before they came over to introduce themselves.
“We can talk about everything tomorrow,” Caroline promised. “I know the best place to have lunch. Please?”
Serena nodded. “Yes, I’d love to. And… we can talk.”
“Absolutely,” Caroline said. She’d agree to anything after the surprise dinner cancellation. She’d been thrown for a loop, not knowing whether she was coming or going, but now she knew why: she had strong feelings for Serena. By some miracle, Serena felt the same.
“It’s just, this thing has been swirling around in my mind,” Serena said. “And I need to tell you—”
“I know what you mean,” Caroline reassured. “I thought I was going mad. I’ve never experienced this.”
Serena let out a breath and smiled. �
��I’m so glad you feel the same way,” she said after a moment’s silence.
“I wish I could stay here with you, but I have to get to a drinks reception,” Caroline apologised.
“It’s fine,” Serena said.
“Napoli tomorrow?” Caroline searched her eyes for confirmation, getting a strange feeling that Serena was pulling away again.
“Absolutely. What time?”
“Pick you up at ten-thirty?” Caroline asked.
“Should I bring anything?”
“That hoodie. The wind can get up, and you look divine in it.”
Serena laughed. “In this old hoodie?”
“Cuddly,” Caroline admitted.
“Then I’ll definitely wear it,” Serena said. “You better go. That couple are building up their courage to come over and say hello to you.”
“I know,” Caroline agreed. “You’re okay, though?”
“I’m okay,” Serena reassured. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.”
Not What She Expected
Annie wasn’t okay. She was very, very far from okay. But she kept the smile firmly on her face as she watched Caroline walk away. The moment Caroline was gone, Annie spun on her heel and walked as far as she could in the opposite direction.
Unfortunately, being confined to the ship meant that wasn’t very far.
Over the course of the day, she’d felt more and more ill. Guilt was swallowing her whole. It was easier to push aside the guilt when she was with Caroline, being distracted by the woman’s hypnotic personality.
But when Annie was alone in Civitavecchia, all she had been able to think about was how she was lying to Caroline. She was dragging Caroline down with her, messing with her feelings. It was painfully unfair that Annie had met Caroline when she was pretending to be someone else, but that wasn’t Caroline’s fault. It was Annie’s.
She’d made her mind up. It was time to be honest.
As much as it frightened her, she’d decided to tell Caroline everything. Even if that meant that Caroline never wanted to see her again and got security to throw her off the ship.
She’d spent hours deciding what she would say, deciding that the next time she saw Caroline was the time when she would be honest about everything. The idea of sitting at dinner and continuing the lie for two hours before finally admitting everything seemed ludicrous. And she wasn’t about to tell Caroline before the dinner, that was cruel.
So, she’d send a note to cancel. She’d expected to see Caroline the next day, having seen the packed series of events which included the captain’s presence that evening in the DreamFinder schedule.
When Caroline had turned up on the deck, Annie felt every single practised word fall out of her brain, roll across the deck, and splash into the water below them.
Surrounded by people, with a curious and nervous Caroline asking if she was okay, Annie had stumbled on her words. She’d wanted to tell Caroline the depth of her feelings before telling her the truth, to try to salvage some of their relationship if at all possible. To explain that she was falling in love and tell Caroline what a wonderful person she was before breaking her heart by admitting that she wasn’t Serena Rubio.
But she’d only gotten a small way into her prepared speech. She’d gotten as far as saying that she had strong feelings for Caroline before Caroline had swept in and said she felt the same.
It was the best news and the worst news at the same time.
To hear that Caroline had feelings for her and also felt the strange pull that connected them was incredible. But those words, the crowded deck, and Annie’s inability to confess meant that she never got to the second part of her speech. The important part. The bit that would destroy everything.
Now she felt sicker than ever.
She knew what she had to do; she had to be honest, and the time for that had already been set by Caroline. The following day they would go to Naples, and Annie would explain everything.
She leaned on the railing at the back of the ship and let out a small sob. Not for herself, she’d stopped caring about herself over the last few hours. It had become clear to her that she couldn’t carry on the way she was. Running from Diego was a fool’s errand. Playing at being Serena would have to end eventually. She would get caught. It was inevitable.
But that paled into insignificance compared to what she’d done to Caroline. She’d looked so happy and relieved when Annie had admitted her feelings. Annie knew that the truth was going to break Caroline apart. They’d not known each other long, but she knew that Caroline found it hard to trust people and even harder to date people.
She’d done both with Annie in a short period of time.
Annie knew that if she could do anything at all to make it easier for Caroline, she would. Letting her down gently and explaining her side of things wouldn’t be easy, but knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t at least try.
Serenity
Caroline entered the bar and picked up a flute of orange juice from the tray immediately offered to her. She thanked the waiter and glanced around the room in the hope of finding a group she could talk to that wouldn’t be too taxing.
Being surrounded by holidaymakers twenty-four seven was hard work. They were often overly excited, loud, and very, very happy.
Which was good news because it meant they were enjoying themselves. But when you wanted a moment’s peace and quiet, or when you weren’t having the greatest day yourself, it could be hard.
“Caroline,” Mara greeted. “I was about to send out a search party.”
“I had a meeting,” Caroline lied.
“Hmm,” Mara replied, sipping some Champagne. “And I’m about to star on Broadway.”
Caroline rolled her eyes. “Fine, I was talking to a passenger.”
Mara regarded her carefully. “I feel like there’s more to the story.”
“How do you do that?” Caroline demanded. She wasn’t used to her feelings being on display, but somehow Mara cut through all the bullshit and could see right into Caroline’s soul.
“Years of practice,” Mara replied. “Many, many years of ‘I feel fine, doctor’.”
Caroline glanced around the room before indicating with a tilt of her head for Mara to join her in a quiet corner.
“I was supposed to dine with Serena,” she explained. She couldn’t help the grin that was rapidly taking over her face. She still couldn’t believe what had happened.
“Yes?” Mara urged her on.
“She cancelled at the last moment, sending a note with no explanation. I sought her out after dinner, and she said she’d had to cancel because she had to tell me something that had been resting on her mind, something that wasn’t appropriate to tell me over dinner.”
“Oh, dear,” Mara said.
“No, quite the opposite. She told me she had strong feelings for me, which is exactly how I feel about her. I thought I was losing my mind, unable to stop thinking about her. But it seems she’s feeling this, too.” Caroline stopped to take a breath, the excitement just too much for her to pretend that she was unaffected. She’d not felt so young or excited in a long, long time.
Mara’s eyebrow raised. “Caroline, that’s wonderful news.”
“I invited her to Napoli,” she confessed. “To see Serenity. I want to show her my life and see if she thinks we could be at all compatible.”
Mara’s eyes widened. “So, it’s serious?”
“I don’t know what it is, but it’s something. And now I know that I’m not the only one feeling it, and it’s exhilarating. And terrifying. But I’m taking a leap.” Caroline took a sip of orange juice, gazing over the rim to check that they were still alone and able to speak freely.
“Obviously, I have no idea what I’m doing,” she confessed, “but it seems like fate. Tonight she told me she has feelings for me, and tomorrow we arrive in Napoli. I want to show her Serenity, introduce her to Hazel, have her know something about my life when I’m not here doing this.�
�
“Caroline, I’m so happy for you,” Mara said, squeezing her wrist. “You deserve this, and Serena seems lovely.”
“I know it appears fast,” Caroline defended her actions, well aware of how it must have looked from Mara’s perspective.
“It does. But I know that you know what you’re doing.”
“I’m not sure that I do. I just… I like her, and I want to try and see if we have a possibility of spending more time together. I’m trying to ignore the voice in my head that is telling me it can’t possibly work.”
Mara nodded. They’d discussed Caroline’s fears of being alone for the rest of her life. While Mara was filled with positivity, even she had to admit that Caroline’s lifestyle was hectic and unusual and not conducive to a long-term relationship.
“Go with your gut,” Mara said. She gave Caroline a slight grimace. “Incoming,” she whispered.
Caroline turned. Sure enough, they had been spotted, and a group were on their way to socialise. Caroline put on her best smile and counted down the hours until the next day and her date with Serena.
Megaride
Annie hadn’t slept very well. Not that she’d gone to bed with the expectation of getting any sleep at all, but she’d gotten a couple of hours and that short time was filled with sweet dreams of Caroline.
She’d even muted the in-room morning announcement, only allowing Caroline to get two of her three traditional good morning’s out before silencing her.
Knowing that Caroline had feelings for her was such a dangerous double-edged sword. On one hand she was ecstatic, on the other she was left wondering how much of that sentiment was for Serena and not for her.
She’d managed to convince herself that maybe Caroline would be interested in her. They’d spent time together and talked about all kinds of things, and during that time she’d tried to be Annie as much as possible, batting away any mention of touring, singing, or her manager.
She knew she had to be brave and tell Caroline the truth, but she also had to be sensitive with her words and with her timing. Caroline had mistakenly believed that Annie was declaring her feelings the previous night. Which, of course, Annie had meant to do. It was just that there was a whole ‘I’m not who you think I am’ attached to it that never quite made it past her lips.
