Risking Her Heart on the Single Dad

by Annie O'Neil

  “What do you mean?”

  “My sister sent a text. She’ll be taking Lulu to Sunday school in the morning. We’ll meet them at the house for lunch. Unless you have other plans?”

  She gave him a playful poke on the chest. “You know jolly well my only plans were to try and break into the lab and hide out there for the rest of the weekend. You and your peach pies gave short shrift to that.”

  He leant in for a long slow kiss. “Tell me you didn’t love it.”

  She wrapped her arms round him and pressed in close. She’d already shared so much with him. How could she tell him that spending the day with his family had been a dream come true? That tonight had been so much better than any icing on the very best of cakes? It was an entire pastry selection of unimaginable pleasure.

  Were there complications?

  A mountain’s worth.

  Things she had yet to tell him?

  Ample.

  Unknowns to confront, in the form of whether to tell his daughter, the fact that their lives were in different countries, the simple truth that she’d never be able to give him a big family like the one he was part of?

  Thousands of them.

  Were they worth ignoring in order to enjoy this incredibly perfect bubble of...was it love?

  She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but tenderness and compassion in them. She hoped he saw the same. It might not be love yet, but she already knew in her heart that the connection they shared would be something she would cherish forever.

  “C’mon, you.” He laced his fingers through hers and pulled her up. “How about I cancel that taxi of yours and we head on upstairs for some shut-eye?”

  He dropped her a wink. The sort of wink that said they weren’t anywhere near close to getting to sleep yet. But when they did sleep she knew she would be wrapped tight in his arms. And for that she was willing to let the world and her thousands of questions wait for another day.

  CHAPTER NINE

  TY STRODE INTO the office with a lightness of step he hadn’t felt in years.

  It had been three weeks since he and Kirri had been together and about half an hour since he’d seen her last.

  His family had embraced her as naturally as if she’d long since been one of their own.

  His mother adored giving Kirri cooking lessons. She said her daughters already thought they knew better than her, so it was a genuine delight to have someone who actually listened to her for once.

  This last weekend Kirri had insisted Lulu join them, because they had been learning how to make baking powder biscuits. A Southern essential, Marina had explained. Kirri and Lulu had finished the lesson covered in flour, but with huge smiles on their faces. The type of smiles that made him stuff his concerns about what he’d do in a few weeks’ time to the back shelf. Again.

  They’d agreed that circumstances dictated that whatever it was they were doing would only be an affair, but...damn...it felt a lot like falling in love. It was just so natural. Different from what he’d had with Gemma, but every bit as easy.

  He was waiting for one of his sisters to invite him over to fix something, or for his father to take him out on a fishing trip. Both were family code for having “a talk”. The type of talk that usually meant they thought whoever was on the receiving end was doing something stupid. But no one had said a word.

  Last night Lulu had slept over with her cousins, so Ty had spent the night at Kirri’s condo, enjoying the delights of the floor-to-ceiling view in between some rather athletic stints of lovemaking and a picnic of Mama Poppy’s finest on the living room floor.

  They hadn’t told Lulu about the “special time” they shared together, seeing as Kirri would be going home in a few weeks, but he saw the way Lulu shone in Kirri’s company. She loved showing off for her. Prancing about doing her dance moves from ballet class, singing her favorite songs, begging Kirri to watch the latest Disney film...

  Put plainly, rather than resisting a woman coming into their lives, as Ty had feared, Lulu had taken to Kirri being a part of their family activities with arms wide open. As if she’d been waiting patiently all these years for this very specific flame-haired whirlwind to swirl in and shake up their lives.

  Lulu clearly ached to have a woman in their lives. One who was there just for Ty and her. It worried him, because he knew there would come a time in the not too distant future when Kirri would leave, and Lulu wasn’t the only one who would struggle to say goodbye.

  Despite having agreed to keep their blossoming romance separate from their professional lives, the sly smiles and muffled giggles his staff regularly jiggled with when he wished them a good morning made it clear that the Piedmont grapevine was buzzing with the news that Dr. Sawyer had more than a hint of a spring in his step.

  “Good morning, Stella.”

  As ever, the surgical nurse was waiting for him in the staff kitchen, with his coffee already poured and a list of the day’s surgeries.

  “Good morning to you, Dr. Sawyer.” Her tone spoke volumes. She was the cat who’d got the cream. “I presume you had a lovely weekend?”

  “Very.” He accepted the coffee and took a long sip. “This is delicious.”

  “Same as ever, Dr. Sawyer.”

  He frowned at the mug and took another drink. Madness, he knew, but it felt like he was tasting coffee properly for the first time in years. All foods, really. He was seeing colors more brightly. Smelling the scents of spring with greater pleasure.

  It was as if a filter had been lifted on his entire life. A gray, tasteless filter that had fallen into place when Gemma had got sick. It had robbed his life of beauty and, if he were being truly honest, of his natural vitality.

  As a doctor, he knew cancer was rarely tactical. Taking out darkness with more darkness, it never took into account the kindness of the soul. The generosity of the person it would be robbing loved ones of. The parent the child would never know...

  His wife’s words tugged at his heart in a way they never had before.

  “You’ll know, sweetheart. It may take a while, but you’ll know. And for heaven’s sake do something about it.”

  “You look different.”

  Stella tipped her head forward so that she was looking at him over the rims of her glasses. It was the type of sage look a television psychologist might give to someone who had finally turned a corner.

  He didn’t bother asking different to what. He knew. He looked as if he’d rejoined the land of the living.

  “You going to do something about it?” she asked.

  He smiled at her but didn’t answer.

  His gut churned at the thought of taking Kirri to the airport. He of all people knew how precious time was and how critical it was to make the most of it. He of all people knew the physical, soul-sucking pain of saying goodbye forever.

  This time he didn’t have to.

  If he didn’t say something, do something, he knew he’d spend the rest of his life wondering if he had let the best thing that had happened to him in the last five years walk right out of his life.

  He wanted her to stay as much as he wanted to draw breath. But asking her to do so would be selfish. It would be a huge sacrifice. One he didn’t know he could ask her to make. Apart from the complications of the specialized visa she’d needed for the trip, they’d already allocated the clinic’s research funding and the all important 3D printer for the next three years. For the foreseeable future, at least, Kirri wouldn’t be able to use their labs. Would working on the surgical ward and loving him and Lulu be enough?

  He honestly didn’t know. But he’d never find out if he didn’t ask, and he sure as hell was going to try.

  As if she’d followed his entire train of thought, Stella gave him one of her wise owl smiles. “Don’t think I’m pushing, but if I were in your shoes I know what I’d do.”

  She popped on a
bright smile.

  “Right!” Stella turned toward the door. “Are you going to stand there all day, sipping that cup of coffee like it’s honey and nectar, or are you going to get into that scrub room and start saving some babies’ lives?”

  He smiled and laughed, clapped an arm round Stella’s shoulders as they headed toward the surgical unit. “Let’s do it. Let’s go save some lives.”

  * * *

  Kirri pushed back from her microscope and sighed. She was well and truly struggling. As advanced as this 3D cell-structure model was, there were still miles to go before she could get the culture model to mimic the uterus’s true cellular properties.

  A warm, cuddly sensation swirled through her as she reminded herself that Ty had said not to worry about epic breakthroughs. She wasn’t here to score the goals. She was here to be a player in the game.

  Trouble was, she still wanted to be the best player. It was part of her genetic fabric to push on, no matter how hard the battle.

  She tipped her head into her hands and tried to get the facts straight. There were literally so many microscopic factors her mind kept fuzzing with the details.

  “Anything I can help with?” asked Gloria, the researcher who was sitting next to her.

  “Not unless you can figure out how to create a hydrogel membrane that perfectly mimics the placenta.”

  Gloria whistled, then shook her head. “That’s well out of my sphere of knowledge, girlfriend. You need to be over in Vienna for that sort of action.”

  “Vienna?”

  “Yeah...”

  She tugged out the shoulder bag stashed under her desk and rifled through it until she unearthed a magazine that specialized in reporting on medical innovations. She turned it around and tapped the cover story.

  “I thought you would’ve been all over this and packing your bags.”

  Kirri frowned at the magazine cover.

  Scientists make significant breakthrough with artificial placenta model

  Gloria handed her the magazine. “If I were you I’d be on the phone to these guys today. How’s your German?”

  Schlecht, Kirri thought darkly.

  Seeing the article made her feel like she’d been ripped in two.

  She’d been trying to think of a way to ask Ty about extending her stay here in Atlanta, but what they were doing in Vienna...it was exactly what she’d been looking for professionally for just about forever.

  When Gloria turned back to her Petri dishes Kirri began to rapidly scan the article, one word blurring into the next as she read about the hi-tech bio-med team who had made the breakthrough. They were miles ahead of her. Well, a good meter anyway. This sort of research progressed painful millimeter by millimeter, and what they’d achieved was little short of a miracle.

  If she’d been feeling more positive she would be congratulating herself on getting as far as she had on her own. They had an entire team and proper funding. She had been pouring her own salary into buying all the necessary equipment herself. It was why coming here to Atlanta had been a godsend. Her brother paid her handsomely, but there was no chance she’d ever be able to buy her own 3D printer.

  Words kept popping out at her. Laser beams. Hydrogel. Biocompatibility.

  When she got to the end of the article she saw that the reason they’d begun their experiment was to explore critical research issues regarding the nutrient exchange between mother and child. Her endgame went much further. The baby grow bag.

  Seeing this breakthrough lauded with such acclaim made one thing crystal-clear. If she wanted to make the sorts of strides she believed were possible she needed to go to Vienna.

  Her brother’s wrath she could deal with.

  But the look in Ty’s eyes when she told him she’d be tearing this fragile thing they were building in two... The thought churned in her like bile.

  She put the article down, her fingers shaking so hard she had to press them to the lab table. Who knew how much truth there was in it? Articles like this surfaced all the time.

  Not like this one, they didn’t.

  She forced herself to look at her work from a different angle. Knowing new things sometimes brought fresh perspective.

  An hour later she’d hit a wall.

  It was no good. The Austrian team’s development had hit her right where it hurt. In the ego. If she’d had their resources, and a whole team dedicated to this one solitary project, she’d be the one on the magazine cover.

  If she went to Vienna she could be.

  Her heart constricted so hard and fast she pushed away from her desk and left the lab. She needed thinking time.

  Without even remembering how she’d got there, she found herself on the surgical floor, looking for the tall, dark-haired brainiac who set her world alight in the opposite way her research did. Balance, happiness, fun...

  He has a child.

  A child she was falling in love with every bit as much as she was falling for Ty.

  It was such unfamiliar territory...and yet she was finally beginning to see how loving a child didn’t have to be the complicated web of emotions she’d always made it out to be.

  Kirri had kept all children at arm’s length because she’d never thought she could love one properly. Ty had clearly seen something in her that believed otherwise and it had given her confidence. Perhaps it was simpler than that. Maybe she and Lulu just clicked. The same way she and Ty had on that first rain-soaked morning.

  From the most barren earth comes little grass shoots...

  Tingles of anticipation shot through her when she heard his voice around the corner. Her fingers flexed in anticipation of joining him. It hit her that she hadn’t felt this fired up about being in the operating theater since... Well, since she’d started researching the baby grow bag.

  Boring old facts slammed into her. Surgery was fun right now because she was—honesty check—she was completely giddy with romance. That buzzy, elated feeling wouldn’t last forever. If it became love it might, but the way things were on a professional front definitely wouldn’t stay the same.

  The research lab here was chock-a-block for the next few years and the queue after that was crazy long. She could do surgery fulltime, but would it be enough? More to the point, would she have the strength to step away from the way she defined herself—her work—to have a proper life with Lulu and Ty? Was she brave enough? Humble enough to accept that it wouldn’t all be plain sailing? Hopeful enough to know that the rewards would be far better than being on the cover of any magazine? That ignoring Vienna would be worth it even if she might never make her father proud?

  She ducked her head into the scrub room and, as she’d hoped, found Ty there, going through the familiar motions. It was almost meditative, watching him. The care he took. Nails, hands, forearms... All scrubbed in preparation for being gowned and masked in order to change a tiny person’s life.

  She knocked on the doorframe to get his attention. When he turned and saw her that gorgeous smile of his warmed her from the inside out. Saying goodbye to this man was going to be like ripping an organ out of her gut. A vital life-force she’d never known she needed.

  “Need an extra pair of hands?”

  His eyes sparked as he nodded. “You should definitely scrub in on this one. Keyhole spine repair for a baby with spina bifida.”

  Adrenaline shot through her. This was cutting-edge stuff. “Amazing! I’d love to be a part of that. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It’s Mark’s surgery, really. I’m scrubbing in as an extra pair of hands.” He gave her a cheeky grin. “I did actually come up to the lab to tell you about it an hour ago, but you looked so serious I thought I’d better leave you to it.”

  “Moi? Serious?”

  She jested to cover her nerves. He’d seen her frowning in the wake of reading about the Vienna discovery. Thank goodness he couldn’t r
ead minds.

  “Deadly,” he said, his eyes connecting with hers. They narrowed. “Is everything all right with you? You seem a bit distracted.”

  Just trying to figure out whether to follow my head to Vienna or my heart to Atlanta.

  “Kirri?”

  Nuts. He knew something was up. He was getting good at reading her body language. Too good.

  Would it be so bad to have someone know you that well? Someone to help you weather the storms?

  Her shoulders shifted up to her ears, then dropped heavily. “I am.”

  He glanced at the OR, where the staff were beginning to enter from the other scrub room. “I’ve got to get in there, darlin’. You are more than welcome to join us. Whatever it is—I have no doubt everything’ll work out for the best.”

  With every fiber in her being she wanted to believe him. But she’d once believed in Santa Claus.

  Was whatever it was they were sharing just a fiction, brought about by her short-term contract, or was this like the spirit of Christmas, which overrode every child’s discovery that Santa wasn’t real? Eternal, enduring, magic.

  * * *

  “Can you grab that pile of blankets, please, Kirri?”

  Henry pointed at the back of the family’s SUV as he and Ty hauled a cool box over to where the family was setting up a picnic.

  “Absolutely.”

  Her gaze caught and snagged on Ty. Her man. Her temporary man, anyway. He was looking tanned and gorgeous and, most of all, completely and utterly relaxed. A far cry from the uptight, speed-walking hunk of sexy Ice King she’d met on that first day. The one whose chink had appeared in the form of an umbrella and glints of gold in his eyes.

  Tingles of delight at the memory skittered through her, and then again as she mentally replayed the soft kiss they’d stolen today, before the children had all piled out of their grandparents’ house and into the cars.

  Part of her had felt like the naughty teenager she’d never had a chance to be. Thanks, Dad. The other part of her had felt utterly content in a way she’d never imagined possible.