Rebirth (Legends of the Kilanor Book 2)

by Jared Stone

  “Thanks, man,” Blake said softly, seeming to doubt his roommate’s empty words of reassurance. “It just feels almost like it might kill me or something. Like it’s spreading inside me, trying to take over my whole body. I don’t know how else to explain it than that. I guess…. I guess I’m just kinda scared or whatever….”

  Lucian was happy that Blake couldn’t see his face in the darkness, for this sudden confession of truth and vulnerability from the otherwise macho boy had elicited a very noticeable expression of shock on Lucian’s face.

  “If you tell anyone that, I’ll kill you,” Blake added seriously. Lucian let out a lighthearted chuckle, but he was honestly uncertain as to whether or not Blake was actually joking…, especially given the new knowledge that the boy still housed vengeful demonic energy inside of him.

  Lucian racked his brain for possible solutions. He regrettably realized that he was unaccustomed to having to solve such problems all on his own. In the past, Gus had always been the knowledgeable one regarding supernatural occurrences, and Lucian had had the good fortune of being able to simply follow the Kílán’s advice and guidance. Now that Gus was gone, Lucian felt absolutely lost without someone to lead the way. But suddenly, like a lotus emerging from the murky depths of a muddy pool, an idea floated into his consciousness.

  “I might know someone…,” Lucian said hesitantly. “Someone who might be able to help you with your problems.”

  Lucian could hear and barely see Blake excitedly sit up in his bed. “Really!?” he asked.

  Lucian almost immediately regretted his decision to say anything to his roommate about this possible solution and get his hopes up. The person who had just arisen in Lucian’s mind was none other than Panhavant, and, as confident as Lucian was that Panhavant had the power and knowledge to help Blake, he was completely uncertain as to whether or not the sage would be willing to help. After the events that had transpired with Gus only weeks before, Lucian now knew that Panhavant placed very little importance on the life of friends. But really, what other option is there? Lucian reasoned.

  “Yeah,” Lucian responded with a nod. “I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks, but I think he could help you. We can go there tomorrow.”

  “Thanks a lot, man,” Blake said with a noticeably relieved tone. “That’d be awesome. I should’ve known you’d think of something.”

  Lucian slowly twisted around to crawl back under his covers, feeling the throbbing pain still present in his hip. As he did so, he could hear Blake doing the same.

  “Well, let’s try and get some sleep for now,” Lucian whispered to Blake.

  “Okay, man,” Blake said back. “G’nite. Thanks for being cool about all this.”

  Lucian closed his eyes again and hoped that he would be able to sleep after the events of that night. He knew that it would be a difficult feat, however, while dreading the approaching reunion with the tiny sage he had once considered an ally, or maybe even a friend.

  * * *

  Sunday, November 30th

  The rest of the night was thankfully uneventful, and, in the morning, the two boys walked down to the public transit station to wait for the train into the city. Lucian was reluctant to drive there in his new car, as he had never actually driven into the city before, and the thought of finding parking, paying for parking, and dealing with traffic was stressful and highly unappealing to him. The simple act of waiting for and riding the train downtown made Lucian sadly think of Gus, who often accompanied him on his trips to Deer Park for training with Panhavant. After the night they had had, it was evident that both Lucian and Blake were exhausted. As they still truly didn’t know one another very well, their conversation was superficial and trivial, scattered over long periods of silence where both of them were staring out the window at the frosted, early-winter scenes passing them by or fiddling absentmindedly on their phones.

  When the train had finally come to a stop at their destination, Lucian and Blake stepped down off the car and onto the platform at Deer Park. Ahead of them, the overcast sky sent filtered light down upon the once grassy field. Lucian was accustomed to always seeing the park bustling with people; but it had now been almost a month since he had last visited, and the colder weather appeared to have chased off the smiling young couples and playful families that had been there before. Over what was once a flowing carpet of lush green grass, a frosting of light snow lay crisp and largely undisturbed. Off to their left, two young men dressed in heavy jackets and gloves threw a football between them, but the park was otherwise devoid of the liveliness and jubilance that Lucian had so enjoyed on his previous trips.

  “Come on,” Lucian said to Blake as he zippered up his jacket and stuck his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cold air. “The guy should be on the other side of the park by that big tree back there.”

  With one nod of his head, Blake followed Lucian as he stepped off of the platform and began the trek across the frozen expanse to Panhavant’s tree. With each step, the brittle grass crunched beneath the boys’ feet, and Lucian felt as though he was an intrepid explorer on a harsh and inhospitable planet. Thinking of the tiny man they were going to meet only added to that sensation, as Panhavant often seemed more alien to the boy than human. Lucian breathed out several puffs of air and watched, inexplicably mesmerized, as the mist slowly floated up and dissipated to join the clouds over their heads. No matter how old he got, he knew he would never grow out of the joy of doing that. Blake and he remained silent as they trudged along, and they eventually came to stand in front of the massive tree trunk.

  Looking up at the branches above them, Lucian was a little depressed to see that the giant canopy of leaves that had once provided him with shelter during meditation had now completely fallen to the ground. The naked, twisting limbs of the tree which remained did not possess the same welcoming, majestic quality previously granted by the abundant foliage, and this fostered in Lucian a kind of cold emptiness that led him to question his decision to return.

  “So, where is he?” Blake asked suddenly, cutting through Lucian’s stream of thoughts.

  Lucian turned to look at his roommate. For some reason, a smile broke out onto his face as he said, “Oh, don’t worry…. He’ll be here.”

  Memories of the day when Gus had first led him to the park a couple of months ago instantly came flooding back, and Lucian once again found himself holding the crystal pendant which hung around his neck. Blake simply shrugged and continued to look around expectantly.

  A minute or two passed, and the boys continued to wait. Lucian started to get anxious and doubt once again that his decision to return had been the correct one. Maybe he isn’t here after all. Maybe he left town after the night Gus died. Maybe he just doesn’t want to see me after I screamed at him. Will he even help Blake? Do I want him to help Blake? Like he ‘helped’ Gus? Maybe I’m just overthinking things. Maybe I should just exist in this present moment and deal with things as they arrive….

  “You are here!” exclaimed an excited, raspy voice from behind Lucian.

  Turning around and glancing down, Lucian was met with the big, crooked yellow teeth of Panhavant’s smile. The tiny man in tattered rags stood no higher than Lucian’s stomach, though the tall, twisted walking stick in his hand easily reached Lucian’s height. The man’s head was tilted to the side in curious excitement, with big bushy eyebrows raised and one of his elongated earlobes hanging off to the side like a pendulum. His typical faint scent of wild-flowers wafted into Lucian’s nostrils, and the boy immediately found himself unwittingly comforted by this familiar, nostalgic sensation.

  “Hi Panhavant…,” Lucian mumbled grimly, not at all pleased to once again see the face of the man who had allowed Gus to die without so much as a hint of remorse. He felt his stomach twisting as he thought again of that moment at the zoo, and he experienced the immediate sensation of tension in his head as fury began to overwhelm him. But, as he continued to stare at the smiling countenance before him, Lucian fe
lt a tiny bubble of happiness building inside of him, and he quickly turned his eyes to the side so as to not be manipulated by the sage’s jovial nature. He wasn’t ready to forgive Panhavant yet.

  Panhavant’s face then grew solemn. “Consumed by anger,” he said mournfully.

  Lucian was at first taken aback by the tiny sage’s bluntness, but this surprise quickly turned to full-blown indignant rage. “Of course I’m angry!” he blurted out at the man. “Don’t think I forgot what you did!”

  Panhavant just shook his head slowly. “You drink poison and expect me to die,” he said to the boy.

  Lucian took no time to consider the sage’s words, and he only found himself further irritated by the typical, convoluted riddles. “You could’ve saved Gus! Instead you just let him die and fade away to nothing!” The boy was almost on the verge of tears, but he purposefully held back so as not to appear weak and pitiful in front of Blake.

  “You still carry him?” asked Panhavant, looking up into Lucian’s eyes innocently.

  “He was my friend,” Lucian snapped back with a steely glare.

  The two stared at each other for a few seconds that seemed to stretch into eternity. Then, as if he had forgotten entirely what had just transpired moments before, Panhavant broke the tension with a “HA!” and wobbled over to Blake. Lucian immediately found himself standing there alone, staring angrily at the emptiness before him.

  “You are here!” Panhavant said in greeting as he came to stand before Blake, seemingly with the air of someone who had been expecting such a visit all morning. The dark haired boy looked down at the disheveled little man skeptically.

  “This the dude?” Blake asked Lucian, completely disregarding Panhavant’s warmhearted welcome. “Isn’t he the one that came and blasted me across a church?” Lucian took a deep breath in and turned around to face Blake.

  “Yeah, he is,” Lucian responded bleakly. He had forgotten that Blake would still retain memories of his first altercation with Panhavant, and he could see in Blake’s face the doubt that he had worn upon his own when first meeting the sage.

  “Look, I know he seems odd, but he knows a lot of stuff. I think, if anyone will be able to help you, it’ll be him” Lucian added, more in an attempt to defend his decision to take them there than true faith in the good intentions of the sage.

  Blake once again glanced down at the joyously smiling face before him. Panhavant just stared back at the boy expectantly.

  “Okay, so…,” Blake began hesitantly. Lucian could see that his roommate was having some trouble adjusting to the tiny man’s odd style of interaction, and he realized that he had somewhat forgotten his own adjustment period when he first began to meditate at Deer Park. In addition, it was obvious that Blake had difficulty opening up to others in general; though he seemed far more willing to do so with Lucian than anyone else. Almost inexplicably so. “Um, I’ve been having some problems…,” Blake continued, almost ashamedly.

  Panhavant closed his eyes and nodded. “It plagues you,” he stated knowingly.

  Blake’s face flashed with a quick look of surprise. “Yeah, something like that.” he said. “It’s like… I got this darkness in my body that I can’t get rid of. And it’s causing all sorts of problems. I have these horrible dreams where I’m Zagan again, and I’m doing terrible things….”

  “Blake dreaming he is Zagan, or Zagan dreaming he is Blake?” Panhavant asked the boy playfully.

  “Huh?” was all Blake could think to say in response to that. He looked over to Lucian for translational assistance, but Lucian only shrugged. The boy was occasionally able to decipher the meaning hidden within the sage’s words, but, fairly frequently, Panhavant would say something that was just too abstract for him to comprehend.

  Blake looked back down at Panhavant and waited in silence for a few seconds. When he determined that no further explanation would be offered, he said, “So… How do I get rid of it?”

  Panhavant just smiled widely. “No ridding!” he exclaimed lightly, tilting his head to the side so one of his earlobes swung beneath it again.

  Blake glared at the sage in disbelief. “No, there’s gotta be something I can do…,” he said defiantly.

  Panhavant seemed thoughtful for a moment. “Learn to live!” he finally said, following this assertion with a chuckle and turning away from the boy to waddle back toward the trunk of the tree.

  Blake cast his eyes back over to Lucian, and Lucian could sense the seething anger radiating from the boy’s stare. He knew he had to try something to help his roommate, before he lost his temper.

  “Panhavant,” Lucian interjected, “there’s gotta be something you can do for him. Blake’s really struggling with this, and he needs help!”

  Panhavant slowly rotated around where he was standing so that he was once again facing the boys. “Stop struggling!” he advised with a merry laugh. At this, he unexpectedly plopped down onto the snowy ground, the strands of rags around his body flying up as he dropped and his legs crossing into a lotus position quicker than Lucian could even see it happening. His long wooden staff stayed standing perfectly upright, seemingly of its own accord, as it was not actually stuck into the ground to support it. He then closed his eyes and sat motionless, as if content to sit there for the rest of the day…, or perhaps year.

  ‘So, you’re saying I can’t do anything to change this?” Blake spat out in contempt.

  The sage opened one eye to peer at the boy. “If you can change it, why be upset?” he asked the boy. He closed his eye again. “If you cannot change it, why be upset?”

  Lucian could see that this was the tipping point for Blake, who suddenly clenched his fists and roared, “That’s it, he’s useless! C’mon, Lucian! Forget this! I got it under control!”

  Blake whipped around to storm off angrily, only to be immediately confronted by Panhavant standing there before him. Lucian hadn’t even seen the old man move, but, in the blink of an eye, there he was. The tiny sage gently touched the tip of his walking stick to Blake’s chest, and black tendrils of energy immediately shot out and writhed around the boy like demonic tentacles pulling him into the dark abyss inside himself. Blake let out a scream of pain as his body convulsed and dropped to its knees. Lucian rushed over to the crumpled, trembling boy on the ground as the darkness swirling around him seemed to once again be sucked back into his body to lie dormant and waiting.

  Lucian dropped to his knees beside Blake and put his hands on his roommate’s shoulders. Panhavant stood over the two of them, giggling joyfully. In the background, Lucian could still hear the two men throwing a football to one another, completely oblivious to what had just transpired within the little universe beneath the branches.

  “Rrrrg! What the Hell!?” Blake shouted when he had regained the ability to speak.

  “HA! Control!” Panhavant mused as he once again slowly plodded toward the trunk of the tree.

  Lucian glared at the sage. He thought he understood Panhavant’s point – that Blake would never be able to control this infection of demonic energy while strictly relying on his own willpower alone – but he also thought that, as per usual, Panhavant’s methods of instruction needed some refinement.

  “That’s the second time he’s tried to kill me, man!” Blake said spitefully to Lucian as Lucian helped him to his feet.

  “In fairness, you’ve tried to kill me three times before…,” Lucian reminded his roommate with a light smile.

  “Well… that was different! That wasn’t me! Forget it, I’m done,” Blake exclaimed with rage. “This dude’s insane.”

  Lucian let out a sigh. “Yeah, but I think he just showed us that you don’t have this under control,” he said gently. “I mean, if this thing is just gonna keep getting worse without you dealing with it, eventually something really bad’s gonna happen.”

  Blake looked at him doubtfully. “Well, what the Hell do you want from me?” he asked in a defeated tone.

  “Just stay for the day and see if there’s any
more he has to tell us,” Lucian pleaded. “I know he’s super weird and doesn’t seem to have any clear answers, but he was also really helpful when you were – I mean Zagan was – trying to kill me. I wouldn’t have been able to learn anything about controlling my qi without him pushing my mind toward greater understanding, and there’s a good chance that you wouldn’t even be free right now if he hadn’t helped us out.”

  Blake let out a dissatisfied snort. “Fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “Only cuz I owe you one….”

  “Thanks,” Lucian replied with a genuine, grateful smile. He looked back over to the tree under which Panhavant now sat, where a steaming tea pot and three little cups had already been set out upon the snowy ground.

  “Now, c’mon,” Lucian added with a beckoning wave of his hand, “let’s have some tea.”

  * * *

  The three men rested beneath the naked branches of the tree, sipping fragrant jasmine tea. Panhavant sat on the snowy ground, seemingly unperturbed by the wet, cold earth beneath him. Lucian had started off sitting on the ground as well, but he quickly found his butt completely soaked and frozen solid. He therefore decided to instead stand with Blake, who had had the good sense to never try sitting in the first place. They all sipped in silence for a while, and Lucian could tell by Blake’s face and slowed speed of drinking that he was not a huge fan of the fragrant beverage.

  “So, Panhavant,” Lucian finally spoke up, in an effort to stimulate meaningful conversation again. “What should Blake do to start dealing with this dark energy inside of him?”

  The tiny sage looked up from his teacup toward Lucian. “Accept it,” he said gently. “Embrace it.”

  Blake looked down at him. “But, isn’t it evil? Why should I accept and embrace something so bad?”

  Panhavant slowly shook his head in disagreement. “Seeing good makes bad,” he stated. “No good. No bad. Only different.” He then lifted his cup and pointed at Lucian. “Yang,” he said. Then, he turned to Blake and gestured with his cup. “Yin,” he said.