Hearts Divided

by Masters, Ellie

  “I know.”

  “The whole world knows, or thinks they do. Until you’re in the thick of it though, it’s impossible to know what it’s like when a friend, or brother, is in the grips of addiction. Ash and I are like brothers, we grew up together and know all the secrets and where all the bodies are buried. But drugs nearly ended us.”

  The story of Angel Fire’s epic rise and near fall into oblivion is well known. They pulled themselves out of the ashes and became bigger and better than before. She only knows what the press said. Sebastian is largely responsible for Ash’s recovery, or at least for Ash making the decision to come clean. She learned that with Michael. Only the addict can make that choice.

  “So, you built it and the kids came?” He asks.

  “Something like that. None of them were interested in music. I set up a drum kit in the corner of the gym. When the kids played basketball, I played the drums. I teased them, timing my beats to the bouncing of the ball. I’d add in the cymbals when one of the kids ran the length of the court. Gave a big boom when they scored. They thought I was a freak, but it became a game. That game eventually turned into a couple of them coming over to me and talking. They call me the drum-chick now.”

  “The drum chick?”

  “Don’t laugh. I think it’s funny. And honestly, I think it surprised them to find out I really could play.”

  “I bet you’re phenomenal. From what little I heard at Grady’s, I can state that as fact.”

  “Thanks.” Her cheeks heat beneath his praise and her stomach turns a little.

  She’s two different people around him. One loves this amazing man to whom she shares a strange connection. The other is between a master and a fraud. She’s the fraud in that equation.

  “So, you’re the drum chick with a kids’ percussion group?” Sebastian seems nonplussed as if he doesn’t see the vast gulf separating them.

  “Yeah, and I’m struggling to find places for them to play.” She speaks about her life as if it’s normal. It’s the only way she can forget she’s speaking to a rock legend. Her trick should work, except it doesn’t. There’s no denying who the man beside her is in the world of rock.

  “You’re hitting all the heartstrings.” He rolls to his back and places his arm beneath his head. The expression on his face is one of contentment and peace. He looks…innocent in a sexy as sin kind of way. There’s no denying the masculine power held in his frame, but the look of contentment in his face is something worthy of poets and artisans of old. He’s magnificent in the ease with which he carries the power of his presence. It’s undeniable and yet muted, as if there’s no need for him to display his prowess to the world.

  “What do you mean?” She’s a little scared to ask her question, uncertain if she’s willing to hear his answer, but the words are out before she has the chance to take them back.

  “Underprivileged kids. Giving back to the community. I bet you have more opportunities than you ever imagined.”

  “Well, to be honest, I’m just hoping their first performance goes off without a hitch.” The truth? She’s had zero bites on her attempts to reach out and find places for her kids to play. What’s going to happen to her kids?

  “I’m sure it will,” he sounds much more confident than she feels. “They’ve got you for a teacher.”

  If only she can pull it off. She can’t let the kids down. She curls against him and stares into the embers of their fire. Life should be as wonderful as curling into a man’s arms and staring into the dying light of a fire. Unfortunately, that’s not the life she leads.

  “I’ve never spent the whole night outside,” she says. It’s going to be hard to continue after tonight. “This has been an amazing date.” Part of her wishes for a forever with a man like Sebastian, but she’s a realist; always has been. Facing reality sucks, but it’s necessary.

  “I’m glad you like it,” he says, kissing her temple, “but we’re not done yet.”

  There’s something about the sultry tones in his voice which make her want to believe what he says is true. Unfortunately, tomorrow waits with the promise of another new day. It will be a day filled with finding ways to make ends meet, and a day where her reality is not his. They’re from different worlds and the distance separating them is an impassable gulf.

  “You’re kidding me?” Except, she’s not surprised. She should be. Any one of the many things he’s pulled off tonight should surprise her, except they don’t. Sebastian has people who do his bidding. All he needs is to raise a finger and things are done. She wishes she had that power.

  “I never kid,” he says, “but we have a couple hours to catch a little sleep. I’ve got an alarm, but I’m warning you, we have to be up by five.”

  “That’s awfully specific.”

  “Just wait. I’m going to blow your mind and steal your heart.”

  That isn’t possible. He’s already done both.

  25

  Bash

  Evening passes; shooting stars and the lunar eclipse steal the show. For once, Bash is not center stage. Holly is in his arms and he’s found his version of heaven. It’s late and he’s tired. A few logs added to the fire give them enough light to ward off the darkness and the few bugs still out. It’s cool, but otherwise not uncomfortable, and they’ve found the perfect place where they can forget the rest of the world.

  If only.

  Angel Fire’s tour schedule ramps up within a week. That means days—nights—weeks—months away from Holly. After their conversation, there’s no way he can ask her to give up her life and travel with him on the road. He wants to, but her passion for the kids makes his heart break with memories of his youth. He grew up with music pouring out of his soul, turning anything and everything close at hand into an instrument to release his creativity. He and Ash struggled for years to make their music work. No one believed in them, except Carter. His twin never had any doubts. He cheered from the sidelines and envisioned a future neither Bash, nor Ash could imagine. If only Carter could be here now.

  Obligations pulled him forward with a power he couldn’t resist. The ceaseless concerts, and parties that came with them, smothered him with a futility of purpose. This life isn’t something he would wish upon anyone. It’s empty and vacant. He’s lonely, and only now realizes it. Something is missing. He looks to Holly and sees the impact her life has on others. Is he worthy of her love? Is his search for fame a mockery of the lives she touches each and every day?

  Since the band’s success, he’s felt invincible, powerful, and unstoppable. After meeting Holly, all he sees is a fraud performing before the masses and that’s where it ends. He’s not changing lives like Holly. She’s in the community bringing hope to kids who aren’t that much different that he and Ash had been. She’s making a difference. He’s merely making a splash on the rock scene, but maybe there is one thing he can do.

  Holly snoozes in his arms. The warmth of her body stirs a deeper need in his, and it’s blowing his mind they haven’t yet had sex. When did he ever take the time to get to know a girl? He already knows the answer to that. Holly is his forever, or he hopes this might be the case.

  Too amped to sleep for the few hours before predawn, he’s content to hold her in his arms and dream of a future he never thought could be his. He understands a little better what Ash and Bent already found, and he lets go of his anger toward his friends. He would never deny them something as profound as the woman he holds in his arms.

  Shooting stars flare overhead, shining bright for a second before dying out. Holly sleeps peacefully while he watches the end of the lunar eclipse. A jangling from down the hill alerts him to the arrival of the crew who will help with the next and final event of the night. With a nudge, he wakes Holly.

  “Hey, sleepyhead. Time to get up.”

  She rubs at her eyes and blinks the sleep away. “What time is it?”

  “A little after five.”

  “Holy crap that’s early.”

  “Well, we have to ge
t up and it’s a bit of a ride to our final destination.”

  “Oh!” She sits up and glances around. It’s too dark to see the team, but the snorting of the horses and the jangle of the tack says they’re close. She glances around at the blankets spread across the ground and at the remnants of the basket of snacks. “Let me clean up a bit.”

  He stops her, grabbing her wrist, and brings her in for a quick kiss.

  “Don’t worry about any of that. They’ll take care of everything. I just need you.”

  A team of four mounted men arrive. They lead two more horses, saddled for the trail. One of the men dismounts and comes to greet him. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning, Drew,” he says, returning the handshake.

  “We’ve got a twenty-minute ride ahead. Jared and Ross will stay behind and pack everything up. Jarvis and I will lead you to the rig.”

  “The rig?” Holly looks to Bash. He expects her to ask what that might mean, but she closes her mouth and returns a smile instead. She’s enjoying letting him lead this evening, and he’s loving that she’s willing to follow along.

  “You ready for a ride?”

  She gives a nod and Jarvis helps her onto her horse. Bash settles himself into his saddle, watches her wiggle in hers, and admires the round globes of her ass.

  Soon. He’ll have her soon; this is more important.

  Bracketed by their guides, Drew and Jarvis, they leave the others behind to pack everything up. It’s dark, dawn is still a couple hours away, but that’s the point. The horses wander up the rolling hills, taking them away from the coast. His gut is churning, eager for Holly’s reaction when she sees what he plans and nervous she might veto the whole thing. Not everyone is game for a hot air balloon ride.

  She’s in front of him and he knows the moment the brightly colored hot air balloon comes into view by the delightful gasp she gives. Then she twists around in her saddle and stares at him.

  “A hot air balloon? You’re kidding me, right?”

  “Does that look like kidding?”

  The balloon is nearly inflated. It tugs at the sturdy basket which is currently anchored to the ground. Their captain stands inside the whicker frame, hand on the burner as the hot air roars into the interior of the balloon.

  “Just when I think you can’t top the last thing, I find out I’m wrong. When does this end, Sebastian?”

  Hopefully never. He’ll never get tired of seeing the surprise on her face or the joy that follows.

  “You aren’t afraid of heights, are you?”

  “Are you kidding? No!” She twists back around to gape at the hot air balloon, robbing him of the emotions rolling across her face. It’s not necessary to see her face to know this is going to be a hit.

  Their guides bring the horses to a halt near the balloon. Holly gets a hand down while he lowers himself down to the ground. Holly rushes over to him and takes both his hands in hers. She bounces with excitement.

  “This is one of my bucket list items.”

  “It is?”

  “Yes! I’ve watched them soar overhead and always wished I could be in one. Now…” She glances at the balloon. “This is perfect.”

  The faintest light glows from the horizon. They are on schedule, and he’s anxious to get airborne, afraid they’ll miss the sunrise. He guides her over to the balloon and introduces themselves to their pilot.

  Their pilot looks more like a weathered seafarer than a hot air balloon pilot. He has a head full of wiry gray-white hair and a matching beard that would make him a hit with the kids at any Christmas party. Craggy lines crisscross his face and dark eyes peek out from beneath bushy eyebrows.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Bash, and you must be Miss Holly?” He takes her hand with a flourish, bowing low to kiss the backs of her knuckles. “My name’s Cam, and I’ll be your pilot for this flight.”

  Holly’s laugh is a nervous giggle. She can’t keep her eyes off the massive balloon over their heads.

  “Is this your first time in a balloon?” Cam asks.

  Bash has done this many times before. Not with this guy, but with others. Hot air balloons are big in California, especially over wine country. He’s had more than his fair share of wild rides, but this is different. There’s no booze. No games to win or chicks to score. It’s him and Holly with nothing but a new day facing them.

  “It is!” She says with a squeal. “I’ve never done this before.”

  “Well, climb aboard little lady. I’ll get you briefed on safety and then we’ll be off.”

  Bash helps her inside the wicker basket and then climbs in. Their pilot gives the obligatory safety briefing and releases the anchor rope with a wink. At first, nothing seems to happen. The whicker groans and wobbles. Holly grabs for Bash, gripping his arm painfully as the basket slides across the ground. Cam pulls on the lever which turns on the burners to heat the air and magically the basket takes flight.

  At first, their climb is slow. The ground hovers beneath them, a foot, then two below them. Then they’re rising over bushes and small trees. Holly peers over the side, one hand gripping his, the other white-knuckled on the edge of the basket.

  “How do you steer?” She turns wide eyes to Cam.

  “These things don’t come with rudders. We are at the mercy of the winds.” He gives another wink. “But don’t worry. I know these currents well.” Cam pulls on the burner handle and a roar fills the air, then he gives Bash a significant look and pointedly turns his back. It’s a small basket with a capacity for up to eight adults, but feels crowded with the three of them in it. He’s grateful for Cam giving them as much privacy as possible.

  They’ll ascend to five-thousand feet and their departure is perfectly timed to meet the sunrise. He can’t wait to see the expression on her face. It takes some time to climb. Holly releases his hand as she gets used to the flight and leans over the edge of the basket to peer down.

  “It’s amazing seeing everything from this high,” she says. “Like flying but not. I feel like time has stopped.”

  “It’s incredible, that’s for sure.”

  She turns to him and his heart stops. Predawn light shimmers in her hair. The wildness of her curls dance on the wind and he reaches out, not to tame them but rather to be a part of their energy.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  Her blush isn’t something she controls, but at least she’s not asking him to stop telling her the truth. He’s making progress.

  “Tell me something,” she says.

  “Whatever you want to know.”

  “This date, how much of it was your idea?”

  “I had help putting it all together, but it was all me, except for the eclipse. I didn’t know about that, but my manager did. Tell me, is this the best date ever?” His cockiness returns with those words, and immediately he regrets it, but she doesn’t react. Instead, Holly turns toward the horizon where the first golden rays of the sun peek out.

  “It is, and you want to know why?”

  “Lay it on me.”

  “I imagined all kinds of ways this night would go. Knowing who you are, and the stories told about you, I expected something different. You’ve given me a gift.”

  “Really?” He’s confused.

  “I feel as if I’ve seen a very rare glimpse of the man behind the name, behind the drums and behind the band. Angel Fire is larger than life, and all kinds of mystery surrounds their drummer. How many people know the true you? How many girls have shared in this part of you?”

  “None.” He hesitates. “Well, actually that’s not true.” Worry deepens the lines over her forehead and he rushes to continue. “There was this one girl growing up. I knew her from pre-K through high school. Valerie knew me before the band hit it big. To be honest, I had only one goal with girls after that, but Valerie knew the real me.”

  “What happened? It doesn’t sound like she’s still around.”

  “She’s not. First love. First broken heart. It’s a sad story, but I g
ave all my firsts to Valerie and she gave me all of hers, including the broken heart.”

  “All of them?”

  “Every last one. She was supposed to be my forever.”

  “But that didn’t happen?” She looks sad for him. He’s talking about a ghost from his past and her eyes mist with tears…for him? This isn’t something he understands.

  “We were sixteen, young and in love, or at least I was. I don’t know what Valerie thought about it, but after we lost our virginity to each other…well, let’s just say Valerie left without a word. One day everything was wonderful. We had forever. The next month, she was gone.”

  “She didn’t say goodbye?”

  “Nope. Nothing. No note. No message. Just gone.”

  “Sebastian, I’m so sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago, over eighteen years as a matter of fact. She’s been out of my life now longer than she was ever in it.” He doesn’t want to talk about Valerie, not with the one girl who crowded out the pain of Valerie’s heartbreak and replaced it with something amazing. “What about you? Any old boyfriends out there I need to know about?”

  She hesitates and turns away from them. Sunrise is in full swing, setting the sky ablaze with yellows, oranges, and reds. “My favorite time of day is the predawn twilight.” Her words redirect the conversation, but he’s not forgetting his question. Something lurks in her past. Something painful.

  “Really?” Maybe he pushed too far asking about old boyfriends.

  “Yes. It’s a time when all the mistakes of the past no longer matter. New days bring new beginnings. Is that why you brought me up here?”

  “You think I’m a softy now, don’t you?”

  Her gaze travels across the expanse of his chest and down his muscular arms. “When I look at you, I see two different men. The bold and powerful drummer from Angel Fire with all his cocky arrogance stares back at me. He’s the presumptuous ass who walked in on me while I was playing drums, and who demanded I join him in the closet for a quick fuck. But, I also see the man who saved a dog, and whose heart is big enough to hire the kid who raised the puppy to watch over Duke for a night. I see a brilliant musician and a man with the most amazing heart who honors the wishes of his twin brother year after year. I don’t see any of that as soft, mushy, or weak. You’re incredible and not at all what I expected.”