Becoming Juliet

by Paula Marinaro

  It turned out that The Stadium was more of a sports bar than a restaurant. It seemed to be a local watering hole and the kind of place where everyone knew everybody else. And it appeared to Juliet that at least half of the people there were wearing a Washington NFL jersey. The bartender was busy taking bets and when P.J. put a hundred dollar bill on the counter, Juliet looked at him in alarm. It was not the money…the money was his to spend after all, and after spending the last couple of months in a relationship with P.J. she had come to learn that money was definitely not an issue for him. But although Juliet actually liked football, there was no way she wanted to sit in a bar all night and watch a game. Not after driving all day.

  “What?” P.J.’s eyebrow lifted.

  “I don’t want to sit here and watch the game for the next three hours.” She admitted.

  “You don’t?” The astonished look on P.J.’s face made Juliet giggle.

  “It’s like this…remember how you didn’t want to go on that tour yesterday when we drove through D.C.?” Juliet had known it was a long shot asking P.J. because D.C. was not a scheduled stop on their trip. And she had come to understand that he was definitely an A type personality when it came to schedules and appointments. But she had so wanted to see those monuments.

  “Yeah. This isn’t the same though.” P.J. lifted his hands palm up as if they were weighing scales. “Boring bus tour.” He slowly pulled his left palm down. “Patrick Mahomes playing against Tom Brady.” His right palm shot up high in the air.

  “You got that right, brother.” The bartender took P.J.’s money and winked at Juliet. “Your man has his priorities straight.”

  “How about we have something to eat and stay for the first quarter?” P.J. asked.

  “Sure.” Juliet compromised reasonably. If P.J. wanted to stay longer after that, she was fine to walk across to the motel by herself.

  “I’m gonna step outside and make a couple of calls. Order us up a basket of wings, a large salad, a couple of drafts and whatever the hell else you want.” P.J. said. Then he gave Juliet a quick kiss and headed for the door.

  Juliet ordered the food then watched with interest at the news show being aired before the game. It had been a while since Juliet had felt the need to connect with current events. In fact, she avoided it. She had had enough of daily broadcasting during the trial. More than enough actually, and that more than enough had sent her straight to the looney bin…literally. But now, Juliet munched on her salad and looked on with mild curiosity while the announcer commented on American politics, an extreme snow blizzard in Montana, and a sink hole that appeared out of nowhere and took out a whole neighborhood somewhere in California.

  During a commercial break, the wings were delivered and P.J. still hadn’t returned. She could see him through the wall of windows with the phone plastered to his ear, his hands gesticulating wildly. Juliet naturally assumed that P.J. must be talking to a family member, and his dramatic movements made her smirk. Over the last few months, she had overheard bits and pieces of conversations that P.J. had had with his family. His Uncle Diego, in particular, seemed to have a special tendency to exasperate him. But the love that P.J. felt for all of them managed to shine through all the snarls, growls, and grumbles. In truth, Juliet was really curious to meet them. Tomorrow would definitely be an interesting day. Juliet looked dispassionately at the news show while she sipped on her beer and waited for P.J. to finish his call.

  “What the hell? This asshole again?” The voice of the man sitting two seats away from Juliet broke into her thoughts. “Damn maniac. Thought he was behind bars?”

  “Yeah, me too.” The bartender turned from where he had been wiping down beer glasses. Juliet followed his gaze to the flat screen television behind him. Kenny Brewster’s face was being flashed across the screen, and the broadcaster was talking about the second upcoming trial. “My sister was a freshman at the college when all that hell broke loose.”

  “No shit?”

  “Yeah, no shit.” The bartender shook his head. “Luckily, Shannon is on the timid side. She really wasn’t feeling the whole college experience, and after that first murder, she booked it right outa there. Didn’t even wait for my parents to drive up to get her. Got an Uber right to the airport and in a couple of hours she was home.” Then the bartender lifted his chin toward the guy at the end of the bar. “You wanna another draft, Steve?

  “Sure.” Steve answered. Then he nodded grimly back towards the screen. “I think that there were six women he killed or maybe more. I lost count.” Then he turned to the guy seated next to him. “Do you remember how many there were, Josh?”

  “Not sure.” Josh shook his head mournfully. “Whole thing makes me sick. It looks like now he’s being tried again. I read online that the crazy motherfucker had been killing for years before those college murders. I heard that those killings opened up an investigation that went back a decade. Hard to believe that no one knew. That no one had been able to see what a sick shit this loser was. He had a wife, right?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” The bartender nodded. “She was cleared of any complicity though, I guess.”

  “She’s the one who turned his ass in.” Steve chimed in again. “Ran him over or some crap.”

  “Hard to believe she didn’t know…I mean come on…how dumb can the chick be?” The bartender poured out a couple more drafts.

  “Nah, it can happen. I mean, my damn wife was cheating on me for a year.” Josh said. “I had no clue. Too busy working my ass off. I know it’s not the same, but I had no idea where she was when she was with him. She just as well coulda been out blading someone, I wouldn’t have known.”

  “Well, that only goes to show that you’re one dumb fuck on so many levels.” Steve told Josh. “You’ve got poor instincts and you’ve got zero common sense. Maybe this psychopath’s wife was the same way.” Then he pointed out by way of illustration. “My sister is one messed up crazy bitch. I told you not to marry her.”

  “And I should have listened, I think we’ve already covered this a million goddamn times.” Josh shook his head at his brother-in-law.

  “Hey, Tammy’s here. And it looks like she’s brought Christine with her. Could be your lucky day, buddy.” Steve clapped Josh on the back, threw down a twenty dollar bill on the counter and they both disappeared into the crowd.

  You’ve got poor instincts and zero common sense. Maybe this psychopath’s wife was the same way.

  Hard to believe no one knew. He had a wife, right?

  I mean come on…how dumb can the chick be?

  No one saw what a sick shit this loser was?

  The words ran through Juliet’s mind as she tried hard to keep upright in her stool. The shock was unimaginable. She had never expected to see her murdering ex-husband again, especially not in a sports bar just outside of D.C. At first Juliet couldn’t make sense of it. She couldn’t tell fact from fiction. It seemed as though Kenny had busted his way out of her nightmares and into her reality. When those two worlds collided, Juliet felt it in every core of her being. Her body stiffened like a board, and her arms fell limp at her sides. Juliet’s mouth had gone completely dry and her tongue was a lead weight in her mouth. In the full throes of a violent panic attack, she had lost all motor skills; her vision blurred. Her heart raced.

  Then it struck her that another reason that Juliet had been caught so off guard was Kenny himself. When she had first looked at the screen, she hadn’t known who he was. The transformation from man to monster had been alarming in its completion. Gone was any semblance of the young academic she had married. Although it had only been just about three years since his arrest, Kenny had aged a thousand lifetimes. His once thick, shining, carefully coiffed hair now hung in greasy limp strands on his shoulders. Kenny’s nose had been flattened and there was an angry, thick, red scar that ran down the left side of his face. His once lean body was now bloated, his shoulders were slumped and his back bent. The clear, blue eyes that had once looked at Juliet so lovi
ngly, were now glazed over with a thick and impenetrable film of madness.

  With shaking hands, Juliet reached into her purse and pulled out the vial of pills. She had not touched the meds in months, but she had held on to them for emergency purposes. And this was definitely an emergency. She slipped three of the small white tablets under her tongue. When Juliet looked up at the screen again, Kenny’s face was gone and had been replaced by the NFL’s starting lineup.

  “Hey, Babe.” P.J. sat down on the stool next to her and reached for a wing. “Sorry that took so long. Hey, are you okay? You’re white as a ghost. And you’re shivering.”

  “No, I’ not okay.” Juliet said weakly, still trying to gather her wits. “My stomach’s upset. I think all that driving and then the spicy chicken…excuse me.” Juliet put a hand over her mouth and shoved her way passed P.J.

  P.J. and the bartender watched as Juliet beelined it to the restroom.

  “Do you have any idea what that was about?” P.J. asked.

  But Tom Brady had just been sacked by the defensive lineman, and the question was lost in the loud cheers of the customers.

  Juliet ran with shaking legs into the restroom. She went right to the sink to splash some icy water on her face. Then she moistened several paper towels, sat on the bench, put the wet wad on the back of her neck, and her head between her knees. Juliet breathed in deep while the image of Kenny ricocheted through her mind like a rapidly fired bullet. If it hadn’t been for the network who flashed Kenny Brewster’s name on the ticker tape at the bottom of the screen, Juliet would not have ever believed that that was him.

  All at once Juliet was filled with a sudden and unpredictable emotion. She sat straight up as she felt an extreme weight lift off her shoulders. The realization hit her in full force and served to shine a light into all the shadows and dark corners of her mind.

  She hadn’t known who he was.

  Juliet couldn’t explain it. She couldn’t rationalize or define why, after one suicide attempt and months and months of being treated at a high priced insane asylum, that it was ultimately that picture of Kenny that finally released her.

  Juliet had always believed that the man had been trapped inside the monster, but now, Juliet realized that the monster had been trapped inside the man. For the first time ever, Juliet felt sorry for Kenny. And she forgave him. Not for the slaughter of the innocents, those sins were not hers to forgive.

  But for the rest of it, she forgave him.

  And that forgiveness set her free.

  P.J. looked over at Juliet as she slept with her head propped against the car window. His chest puffed out just a little when he thought about their lovemaking the night before. Ha…lovemaking he let out a soft chuckle. It was a good phrase, and one that he had never, ever, thought would apply to what happened between himself and a woman in his bed. P.J. could think of a whole bunch of other names he had used for it, but the word love had never crossed his mind.

  What happened between Juliet and P.J was like nothing he had ever experienced before. In truth, P.J. had never known that kind of depth of feeling existed. When he thought about it, like he was doing now, it amazed him. Looking across the seat to her, he really thought that they might have a chance. It almost made him regret sending Juliet’s wallet to Jules.

  That night that P.J. had found her wallet in the mud it had almost been game over. He had reached for the wallet, had meant to open it, but then the strangest feeling had come over him. The story of Pandora and her box had been the one thing that he remembered from high school English class.

  As P.J. remembered it, the story had been about a god named Prometheus. Prometheus had thought that he was a badass and stole fire from heaven to give to a world of men. What Prometheus had done totally pissed the rest of the gods off. So, as payback, they created the first woman, a beauty named Pandora. The king of the gods, Zeus gave her a gift. It had been a pretty box, but the gift had come with a catch. And the catch was that she couldn’t ever open that box. No matter what. But Pandora, being a badass herself, was having none of it. As soon as Zeus was out of the picture, Pandora took that lid right off. And when she did, out swarmed all the trouble in the world. And the hell of it was, none of it could be put back.

  So, taking the myth as a cautionary tale, P.J. had decided not to open that wallet. However, after that whole car in the mud thing, Juliet and P.J.’s relationship had stepped up a couple of notches. And he had decided that he wanted to keep that momentum going. As a matter of fact, P.J. intended to ask Juliet to move in with him. But before he did that, he was going to have to know all there was to know about Juliet, and she still wasn’t talking. Bringing her into his life meant bringing her into his family’s life. Although P.J. was confident that nothing in Juliet’s past could change the way he felt about her, it wasn’t about that. He had the family business…the club to protect.

  And so, with that in mind, P.J. had finally decided to send the wallet off to Uncle Jules. Now P.J. McCabe was only hours away from finding out all he needed to know about Juliet Jones. And he hoped that the matter of that other identification that Juliet carried with her could be easily explained. Because, frankly, he had bigger fish to fry.

  It had been the Saints president, Jet Matthews who had called last night to alert P.J. that there was a problem with the guns. P.J. had always been willing to take the gamble of storing the illegal weapons in his warehouse, because it had been a calculated risk. The weapons were never stored for long at the shop, and the right palms had been heavily greased to look the other way during drop off, pick up and transport.

  But now it was a big election year and Senator Jayworth, who had been on the Saints payroll for years, was losing in the most recent polls. To gain advantage, his opponent had been spending boatloads of money on negative campaign ads targeting Jayworth on everything from taxes to gun control. Which meant that Jayworth had to spend boatloads of money to fight back. Recently, he had been making noise and getting greedy. Dumb bastard. P.J. had never liked the Senator. He was in his seventies now, and his ties to the club went back over thirty years. Because the Uncles knew him better than anyone, Jet had arranged a meet with the family to discuss the matter while P.J. was home. So much for a nice relaxing stay.

  But the trip wasn’t all about P.J. either, and he knew that. It was about Juliet and the fair play he felt he owed her. If he was entitled to all he needed to know about her, then that pendulum had to swing both ways. P.J. felt he owed it to Juliet to show her where he came from. It was only right that she saw firsthand what he was all about…what the club was all about. Because for better or worse, the Saints were still a part of him and always would be

  The botched execution of his godfather had sent P.J. on a tailspin. It had made him question everything he believed in. It made sense that P.J. had needed to step away. But P.J. had since made his peace. And now it was time for him to come home.

  It was something he intended to talk to his father and eventually Juliet about.

  A lot was riding on this trip.

  To Juliet’s relief, P.J. had booked them into a hotel for the week. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t wanted to stay with P.J.’s parents but…she hadn’t wanted to stay with P.J.’s parents. Meeting them would be one thing but sharing a bed in their house with their grown son was another. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like the idea to stay with his parents had even crossed P.J.’s mind.

  The hotel that P.J. had made the reservations for was perfect. It was a newly built, modern building whose footprint took up a whole block in the town. The beds were soft, the sheets were one thousand thread count, and the pillows were plump with down feathers. A large indoor pool, a sauna, and a full spa completed the picture. It was just the thing to help Juliet relax, unwind, and refresh. Since the epiphany she had had about Kenny, Juliet felt lighter, happier and for the first time she had hope for the future. It was over. She had survived the worst, the very worst that life had to offer, and now she just knew that a bright future wo
uld be her reward. Juliet couldn’t help but hope that P.J. might become a part of that.

  In keeping with that optimism of the day, Juliet booked herself in for a full spa treatment. Since she knew the P.J. would be occupied with business for the club all day, Juliet decided that a fresh look for a fresh outlook was in order. Besides, she wanted to make a good impression on P.J.’s family. P.J. was totally on board with the idea, and he had given her the keys to the truck for the day. Juliet was hesitant at first, but after she had taken it for a couple of turns around the hotel parking lot, she got the hang of driving the large truck and found to her surprise that she liked the idea of all that power underneath the hood.

  Now armed with renewed confidence and a forty-five dollar cheesecake. Juliet headed to the McCabe home. She would be about an hour early for dinner, but Juliet didn’t think anyone would mind. She was just about to push the doorbell when she heard P.J.’s voice coming from the side of the yard.

  “Hello?” Juliet called out as she stepped around to the back corner of the house.

  “Oh…uh…hey babe.” P.J. stumbled over the words, obviously surprised to see her. He was sitting at the table with two men who Juliet recognized from pictures as Reno McCabe and Jules Bonny. The two men looked up at her with studied blank faces, while P.J.’s expression was one of alarm. Juliet glanced at the small stack of papers laid out on the table that P.J. was furiously gathering up in his hands. She assumed that she had stumbled on some sort of club business.

  “My last appointment was cancelled, so I came a little early.” Juliet smiled shyly at the two men who were looking at her with…suspicion? Maybe she should have stuck to the scheduled time. This cool, appraising look was certainly not the welcome she had expected to receive from Reno’s family. When P.J. stood awkwardly silent, she decided to introduce herself. “I’m Juliet. It’s nice to meet you.”

  She approached them with hand held out in greeting. But when a sudden small gust of wind lifted one of the pages up from the table and landed at her feet, Juliet’s instinct was to reach down and grab it.