Crazy Mad Life

by Candy J. Moon

Chapter Twelve

  I felt proud as a peacock the next morning. I was back with the love of my life, and I’d had such an amazing few days.

  As Suki and I stood in the corner of the box office phone room making coffee for the staff, Dana approached us with a big smile on her face. “Have you heard about Rose’s husband?” she asked.

  “No,” we chorused.

  “Elaine from the General Office has found Rose’s husband on an online dating site!”

  “OMG!” Suki laughed.

  “Perhaps he joined when they split,” I suggested.

  “Nah!” Dana whispered. “She’s been a member for a while. He was apparently new on yesterday.”

  “Must be the Dudley affair,” I said. “Must have put him off her.”

  “I think she lied her way out of that one,” Dana said. “Nah - she’s had trouble with her husband for years. Dunno why she’s still with the bastard …” Her voice trailed away as Rose arrived. She acted quickly. “Hi Rose! Want a coffee?”

  “That’d be nice,” Rose beamed as though she didn’t have a care in the world.

  Suki smiled at Rose cheekily and asked, “How’s your husband?”

  “He’s great!” Rose said blissfully, obviously very much in love.

  Dana looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

  After work, Suki and I went to The Bell. We thought it would be a bit of fun to have a couple of drinks and take a look at Rose’s husband on the dating site.

  Our intention was to visit the site and type in his name, but the site didn’t work that way.

  Suki stared at her phone screen and frowned. “You’ve got to put your profile on there.”

  “Can’t you put in a fake profile?” I asked.

  “My phone’s linked to my iPad and my parents sometimes use it,” she explained. “If I download the app, it might download on the iPad too and they’ll think I’m joining a dating site - bit embarrassing.”

  “But they know you have a boyfriend.”

  “All the more reason …”

  “OK - I’ll use my phone. How old is her husband?”

  “About her age, I presume - early to mid-sixties. I hear the secretary he had the affair with was only thirty-something though.”

  “Ok,” I said. “So I’ll put my age as thirty-seven.”

  “Go for it!”

  I created a fake profile - Bessie Bullock, age thirty-seven and looking for a man between thirty and seventy. But the site wouldn’t let me proceed to look at possible matches without a photo.

  “I’m not putting a pic of myself on there,” I said firmly.

  “You’ll have to be careful who’s pic you use, I guess,” Suki said. “Might be risky to steal one off the internet.”

  “Exactly!” I agreed, flicking through the pics on my phone. I came across one of a grinning Max I’d taken during a visit to Suki’s house. “Shall I put this one on?” I asked.

  “Go for it!” Suki giggled.

  I put Max’s photo on the site and was then allowed to flick through the possible matches. There seemed to be no end of single men on there - many of them really fit looking. I could have fallen for Martin - the tanned hunk cuddling his black Labrador. They looked really sweet and happy together - that dog really did give Martin extra appeal.

  I kept on flicking through numerous faces until I felt like I was about to suffer repetitive strain injury.

  Suki took over. After several minutes of browsing and drooling, her eyes widened and she passed the phone to me. “OMG he’s calling himself Fifty Shades - like the naughty novel!”

  My mouth hung open in shock as I looked at the picture of the ugly bugger dressed all in black, trying to look all stern and dominant. “Dana didn’t mention that!” I said. “Kinky sod!”

  Suki put her hand to her mouth and giggled. “Yeah - definitely him - he’s sixty-three - like Rose - and lives in this area. How did he think he could get away with it?”

  “Dunno,” I replied, frowning. “I wouldn’t ever dare stick my pic on the internet with a name like that - especially if I was married.”

  “The whole town’s gonna be talking about it before long,” Suki grinned. “He’s gonna have to move abroad!”

  We finished our drinks, took another look at his funny picture, and laughed madly all the way home! We didn’t half get some funny looks.

  Next morning, we arrived at work almost fifteen minutes early and sat in the phone room waiting for Rose, who walked in with Dana a few minutes later.

  “Morning ladies!” Suki beamed cheekily. Poor unsuspecting Rose took a seat right by Suki who immediately asked, “Has either of you read Fifty Shades of Grey? I wondered exactly what it was about.”

  “Tony and I saw the film,” Rose answered matter-of-factly.

  Dana burst into uncontrollable fits of giggles. It was more than obvious she’d been looking at his profile too. Then Suki and I joined her and all three of us collapsed in fits of laughter in front of a bewildered Rose, who sat there blinking in disbelief.

  “It was a bit kinky,” Rose said, the colour of her face now matching her name. “It was quite good though.”

  “Kinky?” said Suki. “I’m shocked! Enjoy that sort of thing, do you?”

  Rose’s face was the picture of awkwardness. Then the phones began ringing and she turned around and answered a call as fast as she could, to avoid further embarrassment. You could hear her voice falter as she spoke to the customer. We could all see her face becoming angrier. She finished the call and blurted out, “Why were you all laughing?”

  “Oh - we always giggle at that sort of stuff,” Suki said. “You know us - childish!”

  Rose gulped and answered another call, her face now matching the beetroot coloured pen lying next to her keyboard.

  At twelve o’clock, Rose went to lunch and Dana started laughing about the dating site again. “Perhaps one of us should go in disguise and meet Rose’s husband,” she sniggered.

  “You do it!” Suki laughed. “Yazmin and I will come along and listen in. It would be fun.”

  Then Kalisha returned from a meeting and overheard the conversation. “Can I interrupt you both?” Kalisha shouted across the office. Her face was stern and her arms folded. “I don’t like the way you’re all laughing behind Rose’s back. I take it she doesn’t know about this?”

  “Apparently not,” Dana said in a small voice.

  “This is a serious matter,” Kalisha said firmly. “I’m going to speak to her about it. In the meantime, please think how you’d feel if you were in her position.”

  Suki and Dana went back to answering the phones, red faced.

  When Rose returned from lunch, Kalisha called her over and they left the office together. Around half an hour later, they returned. Rose looked horribly shaken and it was obvious from her red eyes she’d been crying.

  Then I saw Kalisha whispering something to Suki, who put her thumb up and nodded. She went around the office whispering to each member of staff as they finished the call they were taking.

  Then it was my turn. “Can I have your attention for a moment before you answer another call?” she said.

  “Sure,” I replied, eager to hear what she had to say.

  “Elaine from the general office has agreed to meet Rose’s husband for a date tomorrow night. We’d like your support, if you’re able to come along. Bastard needs teaching a lesson. He’s been causing Rose heartache on and off for too long.”

  “What’s the plan?” I asked keenly.

  Kalisha whispered in my ear. I smiled and agreed to go along and support Rose.