Hell And High Water

by Angela Blythe

  Jim was quieter than usual. He was drinking his pint at the back of the group and watching the Band chat. There was a meeting in the Pub tonight and he had decided to tell them what he had seen. Jim wasn’t looking forward to it.

  He could see Martyn doing the rounds. If Martyn asked him, he would tell him … and Julia’s costume too. He wasn’t going to approach him though. Jim had bigger problems than that to think about. Martyn wasn’t living on the river.

  When all the kids had gone, and he was sure no one else was about, Michael rinsed out his large sized bottle and approached the area that the boys had seemed so interested in. At first, when he has seen how many lads were about, he thought whatever was there would be gone by the time he got there. He was itching to get to it.

  Michael discovered what they had been gathering quite quickly, as it was everywhere. It was a kind of bloated frogspawn. The river looked a bit like porridge. When he saw how much there was, he realised that this had to be part of the evil developments in Friarmere.

  Michael just wished that they were Sturgeon eggs. If this were caviar, he would have made a killing, he reckoned.

  He looked thoroughly around again. He was still not being observed. Michael got closer to the river and took a closer look at the eggs. They were bigger than a frogspawn and quite different. Not as spherical. Ovoid, he would call it. He put some water in his Tizer bottle first and then started to scoop up the eggs around the edge. By the time he had finished, he had collected over sixty.

  That was enough for now. Michael knew where they were if he needed more. From the looks of it, something was pumping them out like nobody’s business. If it carried on like this, in a couple weeks, there would be no water and only eggs. He put the precious bottle in his carrier bag from the shop and went back via the fringes of Friarmere again. Michael knew exactly where to put this when he got home.

  After the Band job, Martyn had a walk down to the river to see what that fishy smell was. In the daylight with all the other aromas of Friarmere and the traffic, it was less noticeable than it had been the previous night in the still darkness. In the daylight, he didn’t have to just smell it, at least he could see it.

  When he got closer to the river, even fifty feet away, he saw what he thought was the problem. Some river creature had been laying eggs. Perhaps it was a big fish, and some had become caught in this part of the river near the stepping stones. By heck, there was a lot of it.

  Martyn was from London, a city. He had no idea what happened in the country or certainly in little rivers like this. He was only used to the Thames and that didn’t have the same kind of wildlife or vegetation as up here.

  This was definitely the pong that Ivy and himself had smelled last night. He couldn’t do much about this. It was a natural occurrence and not something against the law. He supposed they would disperse or hatch in time. Or get eaten by another fish. He was sure the pong would go after that. At least there was nothing dead or dangerous here.

  When Jim got back to the boat after the concert, he had to do the deed. It was a necessity, as he had told Julia earlier on in the week that she could come to the Pub with him for a night out, to meet new friends.

  He had to tell her his two pieces of information. Jim was planning for his mysterious sightings to come out tonight at the Pub. He wanted Julia to have her reaction first, on the narrowboat. He gave her a brandy first and slowly, and as carefully as he could told her about what they had got themselves into since they had been moored in Friarmere.

  First, Jim told her what had taken place during the previous Winter and the heroes that he currently played euphonium with. Julia took it all in.

  She listened as well as she could. Jim did not have flights of fancy, so when he told her something like this, she paid attention. It also added weight that it had been Alan that had told him. She had also known him for years. If he said something, it was true.

  Afterwards, Jim brought the frogman up, which she already knew about, but Jim reiterated how strange it was. Then the sheer amount of quick growing algae on the underside of the boat. Finally, he told her what had happened so near to where they lived including the mystery of the disappearing lady on the river. Thus, solving the mystery of what he was doing when he was standing on the riverbank the day before.

  ’Something is wrong Julia. That river is rising, and we haven’t had excessive rains, recently have we? There’s stuff in the water, nasty stuff – a horrible stinky, dirty spawn And there was something in the bushes, which I think probably was a big snake!’ Jim confided.

  ’A snake!’ Julia shrieked.

  ’I heard a rattle in the bush, like a rattlesnake. I mean I’ve never seen one in real life thank God, just in films, but I can’t think that it was anything else. The worst is this woman. The little madam keeps getting on and off the island. How’s she doing it? There’s no boat and no way across. She just sits there, Jue. Why? She’s singing something in a different language. Anyway, I’m going to tell them lot tonight,’ Jim stated.

  Julia thought about the other night when she had heard the crying baby and had felt a weird sensation. She didn’t want to alarm Jim by adding something extra to this already scary situation.

  From now on, however, she would definitely be on her guard especially if there were snakes about. That woman sounded a bit of a psycho too. She hoped the situation was resolved soon or else she would be telling Jim that they were moving on. No matter how much he liked the Band, it wasn’t worth losing their lives over.

  12 Jacques Cousteau

  Bob and Adam had been asked to go to a sleepover at Callum’s house. He had been quite insistent about this on the phone earlier on and neither of them, although agreeing to it, thought it would be much fun. When they asked what was planned for the sleepover, Callum had said ‘Sleep, that’s what you do at a sleepover.’ What was the point of that?

  They were thinking of cancelling, but also didn’t fancy going to the Pub. It was fun when something was going on, but when it wasn’t, it was quite dull sitting with all the oldies.

  Most of the time they thought the older people talked another language. They spoke about shillings, dolly-tubs and Kajagoogoo. Bob and Adam could spend whole nights not being able to contribute to any conversation. Wee Renee going on about The Mallen Streak, Freddie getting out his Father’s old ration book and Andy waxing lyrical about Different Strokes.

  They thought they might have to go to the sleepover. If Callum was a bit down, that’s what mates did, and he was still a mate. At least they could have a good look at Callum’s mini squids that were growing bigger every day.

  They were due to go at 7pm, but at 5.15pm one of their girlfriends texted them saying that their plans had changed, and they could now meet them.

  This was a lot better proposal, especially as their Mum and Dad were going to the Pub. They could have the house to themselves with the girls. This was a no-brainer; they didn’t care how much Callum was down now, Callum had other mates. Adam, who never cared what people thought about him and lived for today, called to cancel. He was only on his mobile less than a minute.

  ‘What did he say?’ Bob asked.

  ‘He wasn’t happy about it but said he would get two others to come over to sleep. What a knob. He just wants two people over there. Why two? We were two bodies to him, and that’s all we are. I’m glad we’ve cancelled now. Miserable git,’ Adam said.

  Bob wondered whether Adam had hit on something, unknowingly. The two bodies statement started the first little alarm bell.

  ’I think he’s been getting a bit weird lately. This week anyway,’ Bob said. ‘Most of the time I talk to him, he’s got the thousand-yard stare.’

  ’He might get back to normal after the weekend. He’s probably tired, or something,’ Adam said. Bob hoped Adam was right.

  Lauren had made the Pub warm and cosy as usual. A large area of booths had been reserved for the Band, who slowly began to arrive. Some of them were having a meal but others had already ea
ten at home.

  The bench seat was free, and at first, Jim thought that he didn’t really want to sit on it again. Thinking about it further, he decided that it was probably the only seat whose secret had been discovered and that made it the safest seat in the place.

  Jim sat on it and beckoned to Julia to come and sit next to him. He wouldn’t tell her about the monster hide that had been within. He looked around at the other chairs and seats. Anything could be in them. You could end up with no bum cheeks or even worse, Jim thought.

  Jim was waiting for the right time to bring it all up. He thought that it might not go down well from such a newcomer but what could he do? Asking someone else to bring it up was just silly. No one was as close to the situation as he was and if something more serious was going to happen, it might be out-of-control when all these landlubbers finally noticed. Then he would wish he had said something, especially if it ended in a death – his or anybody else’s. He was going to have to chance it.

  He decided to wait until everyone had had their meals served and were close to finishing.

  Unfortunately, this would take quite a while as everyone hadn’t arrived or ordered at the same time. The meals were being served on a phased delivery to the table.

  Pat had ordered macaroni cheese with garlic bread, and Jackie had a chicken and mushroom pie. This had arrived first.

  Wee Renee said she was starving after the Band job and the walk there and back into the Village, so she had ordered Pizza which was unusual for her.

  Freddie and Brenda had eaten their evening meal, but the smell of else’s food had made them peckish so had decided to order a portion of chips to share between them. That was another delivery. Sue had a steak and Tony had a mixed grill.

  Jim was tapping his fingers on the table just waiting to get this off his chest, but as no one else knew, they just carried on with their evening. He was just about to make his announcement when Alan arrived, sat down at the table but then got straight back up, saying he was starving. Jim sighed and took another swig of beer, more waiting. Was he ever going to get his chance?

  Alan spoke to Lauren for a while and then returned to the table, saying that Lauren was making him and Ann something special. An off-the-menu dish, of his request. The gang expected a weird and wonderful extravaganza and Jim worried that it was going to be something like a stuffed partridge which probably had to be caught on the moors first. However, Alan and Ann had simple tastes. Lauren came out with three bacon and egg filled bread rolls, Alan having two and Ann one.

  Jim and Julia being one of the first, had already eaten their chicken tikka and rice. This was what Maurice had ordered too. Their meals had been delivered with Pat and Jackie’s; their plates had long been taken away. Pat, Wee Renee and Jackie were now sharing a large hot chocolate fudge cake with cream.

  Finally, after what seemed to Jim to be a lifetime of waiting, everyone finished eating, ordering or getting refills. This was his moment, and Jim brought up the subject that had been worrying him and Julie since he had been moored at Friarmere.

  ’Listen everyone, I’ve got something to tell you. There have been mysterious and worrying happenings on the river,’ Jim started. ‘I want your expert opinions on it.’

  He proceeded to tell them everything that happened. The gang of heroes sat and listened to what Jim had to say. Julia still didn’t mention the crying baby. Wee Renee nodded throughout the tale and kept blinking, slowly taking it all in.

  ’So, what do you think about that?’ Jim asked. All faces turned to Wee Renee and she had no problem in giving him an answer.

  ’It’s obviously started again, hasn’t it? Friarmere has got a new threat. Somewhere that we didn’t expect it to happen. We knew we were living on borrowed time. I didn’t expect the river though, that is quite odd. But you also say that there are strange happenings on the canal too Jim?’ Wee Renee asked.

  ’Yes, the frogman and the increased algae,’ Jim said. Wee Renee considered this statement before speaking.

  ’So not as bad as the river, but still not normal,’ Wee Renee commented. ‘They aren’t connected physically, yet they both are suffering phenomena in their waters. Is there anything else you can think of that is just slightly not normal to help us piece it together? Anything at all, no matter how trivial?’ Julia still didn’t say anything. Now she was too scared to bring it up.

  ’Well there’s the seagulls,’ Jim told them.

  ’What seagulls?’ Pat asked.

  ’We heard seagulls up above, and that’s unusual isn’t it, this far inland? I mean what are they doing here? What’s in it for them?’ Jim asked.

  ’Aye, they aren’t a natural Friarmere bird, generally. Right, that’s part of it. That big patch of grass in the middle of the river, that’s got a name you know,’ Wee Renee said.

  ’Oh, it has yes,’ Ernie said dismally, remembering what it was. Those that did not know waited for Wee Renee to tell them.

  ’Black Island. And there was a poem or wee ditty about it, and I know part of it mentions death waiting for you on Black Island. I’ll have to remember it. Do you know it?’ Wee Renee asked Ernie.

  ‘No, but it rings a bell, ‘Ernie said.

  ‘It was quite a merry little song. It will come back to me,’ Wee Renee said.

  ‘It sounds like it’s kicking off again,’ Rick said.

  ‘There is no doubt about it,’ Wee Renee said, shaking her head as she looked down. ‘I will fix it. Or we will between us. What we could do with, is a wee Jacques Cousteau investigating here, but we don’t know one.’

  ‘He died years ago, didn’t he?’ Jackie commented.

  ‘Aye. But what we do have, is me. I have my own swimming goggles, swimming cap and a nice black costume. I’m a strong swimmer. I’ve swam Loch Ness, width ways of course. I was greased up, you know. That’s a funny story actually for another time. I’ll solve your problem, Jim,’ Wee Renee said confidently. ‘Rest easy.’

  As Friarmere Band carried on talking into the night, more eggs hatched. The first one that hatched wasn’t being eaten as they thought. If it could, it crawled out of its container and found the nearest warm source of protein.

  The parasite could sense heat nearby, so it was easy to find a tiny hole to live in. One where it could also put its tentacles deep inside the host and feed. All the hatchlings were just waiting for the next host to come close enough so they could crawl out … and get into their ear too.

  From deep under the two rivers, The Colne and The Tame, something began to see with lots of different eyes. Its children were signalling.

  13 Kelpie

  When Michael got home with his Tizer bottle full of spawn, he went straight into the greenhouse. It was somewhere he didn’t ever go in, but he knew that this was the place to put them.

  The greenhouse windows were all intact but covered with a bright green moss film, which had cultivated thanks to dirt, sunlight and the lack of cleaning. This gave the inside of the greenhouse an emerald tinged light, which had given Michael the idea. It was almost like being under the sea. It was quite dark in there, even on the brightest day.

  What added to the gloominess, was that plants left by the previous owner. They could have been weeds, Michael didn’t know which, as he was no gardener. He did know that they weren’t cannabis as he had tried to smoke a couple of them when he first arrived. Whatever they were, they had grown up on the inside of the greenhouse up to the apex. Tendrils of the foliage hung down halfway to the floor, throughout the length of the greenhouse. This meant that you had to push your face past them to get in.

  Michael didn’t need to use the greenhouse, and if anyone did, they would have to clean all this off or burn it all down and start again. Michael decided that the best option was not going in there very often.

  He put the Tizer bottle down on the concrete slab floor and went back out. Just outside was a dirty old oil drum that seemed to be for collecting water. He couldn’t think of what else it was for. It was currently half ful
l of rainwater. He got it between his knees and walked it slowly into the greenhouse.

  Michael looked for the lightest spot in there so that he could see what he was doing. He pulled some of the plants away above it so they wouldn’t drop in the drum.

  In the dark green light, he had forgotten at first where he had put the bottle. When he found it, he opened the lid and turned it upside down above the drum. The river water that he had put in there sloshed out, but the eggs got stuck in a clump around the neck of the bottle.

  ’Oh drat,’ Michael said. He started to squeeze the plastic bottle in an out. The large blob bulged upwards and downwards out of the neck, without coming out.

  Michael banged the bottle of the bottle, as he would a bottle of ketchup. That didn’t work either, so he started bulging and patting. At one point he thought he would have to get a teaspoon in. These were too hard to get out. They were loose when he had gathered them. Now they were a ball of tapioca. He began to swirl them around at the bottom of the bottle. Michael half-tipped the bottle up. They were coming apart.