Hell And High Water

by Angela Blythe

  Wee Renee slumped on the choir bench again. She was sweating. That was horrible. She had been caught out. At least it was after she had worked out the truth of it all. Not long after that, the parents picked all the children up. Although Wee Renee hadn’t noticed, as she sat quite bewildered, thinking about the problems.

  Father Philip had shut the door after the last one had exited. He locked it and turned to look at Wee Renee. She sat quietly still in the Choir pews, waiting for Father Philip to join her.

  ’That was a close one,’ Father Philip said. ‘Do you think they believed you?’

  ’Not a chance of it. They had the squids in their backpacks, Father. The squids saw me looking at them and then they came. They know we are on to them now. They and their squids know why I was here,’ Wee Renee said despondently.

  ‘What are we going to do about it?’ Father Philip asked.

  ‘I’m meeting the gang in the Pub. I’m due to meet them now. We’ll discuss it if that has your approval - join it with Bob’s tale. There is other stuff going on as well. Can I call you and let you know, Father Philip?’ Wee Renee asked.

  ’Yes. I’m glad that I hadn’t imagined it in a way,’ Father Philip admitted.

  ‘I knew when you told me that you hadn’t pet,’ she said, picking up her string bag and waving goodbye.

  Wee Renee started to walk to the Pub. She still felt quite shaken about being caught out like that. Those kids were indeed very unnerving. She kept her wits about her all the way. No wonder Bob could spot some of them from miles off. When she got to the Pub, all that were coming were already in attendance.

  Darren had seen some weird stuff in Friarmere, but he had to admit this one was one of the strangest. It’s not something you see every day. An ugly mermaid tied up in an old bath, inside a World War II air raid shelter. Clingfilm around the bottom of her and a wet tea towel over her head.

  After the initial shock, he felt a bit sorry for her. She wasn’t a monster – a beast that had chosen their evil life transformed to wreak havoc. She was some kind of natural creature and it seemed to be very cruel. He thought museums or universities would go crazy to study a new species like this.

  He thought when Craig arrived, he would go mad. Craig was even softer than him. He was surprised at Joe for allowing this, but he trusted that there must be reasons.

  Her restraints were very secure and as soon as Pat went out, he thought he would have those sandwiches she had made him. He picked up the beer along with his tea on a plate, taking it all back into the Anderson shelter.

  Perhaps in hindsight, Pat had made the wrong sandwich ingredients, as when he started eating the tuna sandwiches the captive became agitated. He took the tea towel off her face. Her nose was twitching. She is bloody hungry he thought, and I’m sitting here eating this.

  Pat who had a hearty appetite and thought that everyone possessed one, had made Darren six sandwiches. Darren would have plenty. He could share some of this.

  ’Fishy,’ he asked, ‘you want some fishy?’ Pointing to his mouth, then her mouth. She blinked at him, which he took to be a resounding yes.

  He would just peel the tape back from her mouth a little so he could get some of his sandwich in there. Her hands were tied to the bathtub, so he was perfectly safe.

  Darren peeled the tape back and let it dangle the other side of her mouth. Her mouth was pretty big, he would have no problem putting the sandwich in there.

  ‘Here comes the fishy,’ he said. Darren pulled the sandwich into pieces and began moving it towards the mouth of the creature. She opened her mouth, and he dropped a piece in. She didn’t seem to chew it, only swallow it, so he was glad that he had pulled them into small pieces. The last thing he wanted to do was perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.

  The Sea Witch seemed to be enjoying it, and as he had the packet of crisps as well, she could have plenty. Darren kept chucking it in. Remembering what eating might eventually lead to, he decided to bring the subject up.

  ‘Listen, if you are going to foul your water, can you wait until I’ve gone?’ Darren asked her.

  He was on the next to last piece and had been so busy concentrating on feeding his new friend that he hadn’t noticed his hands were getting ever closer to the Sea Witch’s mouth.

  He also hadn’t noticed if she had teeth because she had no need to use them. Darren was dropping little pieces in and she was swallowing them, like Flipper, the friendly dolphin in the TV Show.

  But the Sea Witch did have them, and he found at least a row of them she snapped her head forward and bit down onto first two fingers. Darren heard a crunch and screamed in agony, feeling his finger bones splinter. The Sea Witch had extremely large and powerful jaws, with teeth used to tearing apart large fish carcasses beneath the sea.

  She began to jerk her head from side to side and press down even further. Darren had never felt so much pain in all his life. He was attached to the Sea Witch, and she wasn’t letting go.

  He frantically looked around for something to hit her with. Something to stop her doing this. She growled while tugging on his wrecked fingers, his blood now running down her chin.

  Darren barely heard the growl as someone was screaming. A man. He couldn’t get away from her, so could only use items he could reach. He tried to push away with his other hand against the old bath, but this just made the pain worse. He stopped pushing, placing his good hand onto the floor. Under his hand, he felt the packet of crisps. Darren threw them at her, but this had little impact.

  Darren was still screaming. He began to feel his fingers coming away from the rest of his body. On the bright side, this gave him another inch to reach out. With lightning speed, she snapped again. This time she had his thumb and Darren reached a new level of pain and the man screaming, hit notes that would make Pavarotti proud. Darren frantically reached out for something, anything, that he could use and his fingers skimmed over something hard - the bottle of Milk Stout that Pat had left for him.

  He closed his fingers around the neck and brought it down on the side of her head with all his strength. It smashed and the Sea Witch released him, but it was far too late for Darren’s hand.

  Neither of them were in a very good condition, with the beer, blood and broken glass, the scene looked like the aftermath of a night out in Stoke on Trent. The edge of the bottle ended up in the Sea Witch’s eye. Darren’s thumb and two fingers were in her stomach. Darren screamed again, realising it had been him all the time. He ran out of the Anderson shelter and using one hand, he picked up his phone. With a shaking voice, he called for an ambulance. Then he rang Joe.

  Pat had already bought Wee Renee a sweet sherry for when she arrived and had saved her a seat. A lot of the gang were there. Those that weren’t would be updated at Band or over the telephone.

  ’First things first, this is for you,’ Wee Renee said. She took out the old mustard pot from her string bag and put it on the table in front of Pat. ‘That’s for Jackie’s wounds. It should fix her up in a couple of days. How is she, bless her?’ Wee Renee asked.

  ’Sickly,’ Pat said. ‘She has a really grey complexion. There is definitely an infection, from those Kelpie claws.’

  ’That ointment should draw it out of her, love. Don’t smell it,’ Wee Renee advised her.

  ‘Has Pat told you about today?’ she asked everyone.

  ’We were waiting for you,’ Ernie said.

  Between Pat and Wee Renee, they gave a brief outline of the day. In summary, that they had lost the Kelpie but had gained a Sea Witch. If there had have been a Sea Monster version of Top Trumps, this probably would have been seen as a good deal.

  ’What’s she like?’ Sue asked.

  ’Scaly black fishtail at the bottom - shorter than you would think too. It’s not the same length as a pair of legs at all. The tail is disproportionate. She seems to be quite well fed,’ Wee Renee said.

  ’Fat, I would call her,’ Pat said

  ’Aye, she is I suppose, she has a spare tyre. The S
ea Witch has a kind of frog-like, fat face. Wild hair. Short and frizzy, rather than smooth like the Kelpies,’ Wee Renee told them.

  ’Where are they all coming from, Wee Renee?’ Gary asked.

  ’I don’t know where. And I don’t know why, all of a sudden, we are getting this influx of wet nasties,’ Wee Renee said. ‘There are the clusters of spawn, there’s the Kelpies, the Shellycoats, which have been heard but not seen and now a Sea Witch! Surely there can’t be any more. I’ve probably just jinxed it now.’

  ‘Where do they live usually? Things like this,’ Tony asked.

  ’I don’t know where they’ve come from. Secret coves, far off islands, vast pits. They’ve developed the same as man but adapted to water. You all know how evolution works. They must have needed the abilities or attributes that they have. They are more ancient. In touch with senses and abilities that we no longer have. They are not a part of the natural world, as we are and our animals. In their eyes we are not natural, in ours, they are the real supernaturals,’ Wee Renee told them in awe.

  ’I thought these things, mermaids and so such, were just a myth,’ Alan said.

  ’A lot like vampires? They were creatures too that we thought of in myths and legends. What are these? Monsters in tales of old, to keep kiddies away from the water or to explain certain phenomena. It looks like most of them were real. Of course, I had experiences of such things in Scotland years ago. But we haven’t had them around here, as far as I know,’ Wee Renee explained.

  ’This would be a good time for Sid to turn up,’ Lauren said.

  ’What!’ Pat said. ‘So that he can say we’ve got to keep all these alive, or else we’ll have no luck. He was no bloody use last time.’

  ’Don’t be like that about Sid. I think he was very useful. It’s just we didn’t want to hear what he had to tell us,’ Wee Renee said.

  Sid was a Faerie that had advised Wee Renee many times, but he often came with bad news. Pat thought that he used Wee Renee as his puppet.

  ’Listen gang, open your lugholes, I’ve got some fresh news. I told you that I was up to something secret and now I have permission to tell you,’ Wee Renee said. The others actively drew closer to her. Not only to hear better but so that others couldn’t hear their private matters.

  ‘Bob told us the other night about the strange behaviour of a group of children at the High School. He isn’t the only one who has experienced this. Father Philip has also witnessed similar behaviour in the Sunday school, which alarmed him greatly,’ Wee Renee whispered.

  ‘No!’ Liz said. Wee Renee did a long blink and inhaled, to signify the gravity of the situation.

  ‘He called me over tonight, to observe a group of these children. I found that they had their hatched eggs and bottles in their bags. Unfortunately, while I was snooping, I got caught out, which no doubt will come back to bite me on the bum,’ Wee Renee continued.

  ‘This is disgraceful,’ Ernie said.

  ‘What I’m saying is that this is rife in Friarmere and it is definitely something to do with those eggs. You might think I’m silly, but I was caught snooping after the squids saw me looking at them in the bottles. I think they communicated to the child that they were connected to, and they knew I had found them out,’ Wee Renee said.

  ’Those squids sound like they have some kind of higher intelligence,’ Sue said. ‘A controlling creature. The mother of the eggs.’

  ’I think you’re right Sue,’ Wee Renee said.

  ’The timing stinks on this. You know, I have been looking forward to this Wedding at the weekend so much. Now all this shit with squids is sucking the fun right out of it,’ Liz said.

  Joe rushed into the Pub. They could tell something was wrong straight away. He looked flustered and harassed.

  ’Pat you need to get back home,’ Joe said.

  ’What’s happened? Is it Jackie?’ Pat asked, shocked.

  ’Nothing, it’s Darren. Apparently, he decided to feed the Sea Witch, and she has bitten off three of his fingers. He bashed her in the head with a beer bottle.’

  ’Good man,’ Tony said.

  ‘Tony!’ Sue admonished. ‘Have some sympathy for the man’s fingers, won’t you?’

  ‘How is he?’ Lauren asked.

  ’He’s been taken to hospital. They’re operating on him now, but the fingers are gone.’ Joe said.

  ‘It’s hard to fix that kind of injuries … attaching little nerves and such,’ Maurice said.

  ‘No, they couldn’t even do that. I mean gone, no longer about. She ate them!’ Joe said. Friarmere Band gasped. What a terrible injury. The thought of where his fingers were … it was unfathomable.

  ‘Darren has told them at the Hospital that they were lost in a bad accident attempting DIY. Craig is outside the shed now. He has heard the Sea Witch screaming because obviously, Darren had to take the tape off her mouth to feed her his sandwiches. He isn’t going in because he says he’s too fond of his own fingers,’ Joe said.

  ‘Too right,’ Gary said.

  ‘Darren says he injured her in the eye with a beer bottle. The screams have been getting quieter. I don’t know what’s going on now,’ Joe said.

  ‘What’s our Jackie doing? Has anyone checked on her?’ Pat asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Joe replied. Pat stood up immediately.

  ‘Who can help me up there?’ Pat asked, her usual stony exterior was showing a few cracks.

  Without exception and gladly, everyone decided to visit Pat’s Anderson shelter and deal with the Sea Witch. Craig was outside, vaping while pacing up-and-down

  They couldn’t hear her screaming, but they could definitely smell her from the other end of Pat’s path.

  ’She stopped screaming about ten minutes ago,’ Craig said. ‘I haven’t been in, as I was on my own. Just in case she is trying to trick me. The bitch.’

  The entrance to Pat’s Anderson Shelter was not large, only one could fit through at a time. Inside, with the bath, Pat’s gardening tools and other bits and bobs, there wasn’t a lot of room.

  They noticed that the light had gone out or been switched out. There was usually a single lightbulb that shone in there. Those few who had torches would go first. She was still attached to the bath, so there shouldn’t be any danger, as long as they kept their bodies away from her mouth.

  Joe, Gary, Rick and Andy were the first to venture inside. The Sea Witch was still slumped in the bath. A beer bottle embedded in her eye. As she had been flip-flopping about a bit, mainly when she was attacking Darren, she had broken up the clingfilm sheath.

  She had flipped most of the water all over the floor. The torchlight picked out that she had become severely dehydrated. She lay dry and silent.

  They inched forward, not wanting her to spring out of the bath and bite them. Wee Renee presumed she did breathe but could not see her chest or ribs moving.

  Pat who had quickly checked on Jackie and found that she had slept through the whole affair, now strode up her back garden. She entered with her yard brush and turned it around to poke the Sea Witch with the broom handle. Pat jabbed her hard in the arm, the chest, the stomach and the cheek. The Sea Witch did not move.

  ‘Dead,’ Pat said simply.

  ‘She’s either died of dehydration, or loss of blood,’ Wee Renee advised them.

  ‘You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to work that out,’ Ernie said.

  ‘Is it too late to retrieve the fingers? What do you think?’ Lauren asked.

  23 Bobbus

  ‘What shall we do with Tubby then?’ Pat asked, pointing at the corpse in her old bath.

  The smell of fish was intense from the Sea Witch, which gave them the idea of how to dispose of her body. They would chop her up, put her in bags and then empty them into the canal.

  Pat thought that this was safer, as she had actually come out of the river. If they were chopping bits up, throwing them back in there, it might alert another Sea Witch who would know that their friend had been murdered. It might dredge
up other visitors too. Worse ones.

  The other advantage was that, if there was any wildlife actually left in the canal, they were delivering their supper!

  Midnight found the gang beginning to deal with the disposal of the beast. By torch and flickering candle flame, they did their best. Several men with axe’s, knives and saws started chopping away at her body, one on each limb.

  It wasn’t as hard to do as they thought. She was indeed the texture of fish, even on her upper humanoid body, which to all intents and purposes looked like ordinary human flesh apart from being a strange colour.