An Amish Mother for His Twins

by Patricia Davids

  Maisie realized Nathan hadn’t included enough information in his flyers at the grocery store. “Nathan has plans to add on to the cabin, but for now he would like you to come daily, Monday through Friday.”

  Agnes got to her feet. “Then I have wasted my time. I’m not driving out here to the back of beyond every day.”

  “I can tell Nathan that you would prefer to watch the children at your house during the day.”

  “I live with my daughter. I don’t believe she would like two squalling infants disturbing the household.”

  Jacob decided at that moment to give a loud, lusty cry. Maisie hurried to pick him up and quiet him.

  Agnes tied the strings of her traveling bonnet. “You should let the child cry. If you don’t you are spoiling him into thinking someone will answer his every demand.”

  Maisie smiled as politely as she could manage. “I appreciate your advice. And I’m sorry you made the trip for nothing. I don’t believe it’s a position that you would enjoy.”

  “Tell Mr. Weaver that when he has the additional room added I will reconsider.”

  Maisie followed the woman to the door. “I’ll be sure to pass on that message.”

  When the door closed behind pinch-faced Agnes, Maisie hugged to Jacob. “I think you had a narrow escape. I will be happy to tell your father we didn’t suit her.”

  Maisie spent the remainder of the day enjoying the babies and holding them as much as she could. When they were both fast asleep, she sat down with her sewing.

  At six o’clock she got up and started supper, but couldn’t stop watching the clock on the mantel. It was almost seven before she heard the sound of a pickup engine. Although she wanted to rush to the door, she didn’t. She took a seat on the couch with some sewing on her lap as if she wasn’t on pins and needles waiting for his return.

  She waited but he didn’t come inside. She heard the sound of the truck leaving, but he still didn’t come in. She rose and went to the door. There was no sign of him outside. What on earth was he doing? Didn’t he know she had supper waiting for him? It would be his own fault if the meat loaf turned into brown brick.

  She shut the door and went back to her sewing. Twice she stabbed herself with the needle because she wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing. She was sucking on her smarting finger when she finally heard the door open. She turned to glare at him. “What have you been doing?”

  “The chores. The horses needed to be fed. The stalls cleaned. I had to shut up the chickens and the ducks for the night. My farm chores don’t vanish because I work at the lumber camp.”

  Maisie had seldom felt so foolish. Of course, he would do his chores before he came in for the evening. She tried to smile. “How was your day?”

  He hung his hat on a wooden peg by the door. His hair was glistening wet. He’d taken the time to wash up before coming in.

  “Busy. We’re trying to get caught up. I spent a lot of the day repeating the story of Annie’s death and my new fatherhood to different people. The Englisch are a curious lot. I should have called a meeting first and told everyone at the same time.”

  “I’m sorry if that was painful.”

  “After the first telling it wasn’t so bad.” He crossed the room to squat beside the cradles. “How were mei kinder?”

  “Wunderbar. Both of them. I had them on quilts on the floor and Jacob almost turned himself over.”

  Nathan grinned at his boy. “Are you going to be a traveling man, then?”

  “Charity is happy to lie on her back and take it all in. Nothing much upsets her. I did have to put Buddy out. He insists on licking their toes when they’re on the floor.”

  “And what does the cat think of them?”

  “He ignores them.”

  He stood up straight and slipped his hands in the pockets of his pants. “How did the interview with Agnes Martin go?”

  “She assumed it was a live-in position. She doesn’t want to drive out here on a daily basis. I told her there were plans to add on to the cabin in the future and she said to contact her then.”

  “I didn’t plan to do that for at least another year. I didn’t realize it might be a problem. Did she seem to like the babies?”

  “She didn’t actually ask to see them. Jacob started crying and she told me I shouldn’t pick him up because it would spoil him.”

  Nathan frowned. “He’s a newborn. Newborns cry.”

  “I didn’t say I agreed with her. I’m merely telling you what she said.”

  “Then we will cross her off the list.”

  “You have a list? Have more people applied?”

  “Not yet, but they will.” Nathan settled himself in his chair and put his head back. “Something smells good.”

  Maisie gave a little shriek. “My meat loaf. Oh, I hope it’s not burnt.” She rushed to the stove, pulled the oven door open and took out the pan using the corners of her apron.

  “How is it? I can eat burnt,” he said.

  “The edges are crisp, but it’s fine.” Buddy had followed her into the kitchen and sat beside her with his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out. He licked his chops hopefully. She shook her head. “There’s nothing for you tonight. Go away.”

  She could’ve sworn he looked disappointed as he padded to the door. Nathan got up to let him out. “And how was your day?” he asked, looking in her direction.

  “Productive. Besides speaking with Agnes Martin, I did some housework and finished two new pants and a shirt for Jacob. They are lying on the back of the couch.”

  He walked over and held up the shirt. “Don’t you think this is too big for him?”

  “In another few months it will be too small. I wanted to give him some growing room.”

  “And this is for Charity?” He picked up a bonnet Maisie had trimmed with tiny pink bows.

  Would he disapprove? “I know it’s a little fancy, but it looks adorable on her. Do you want me to take the bows off?”

  “Nee, I like them. She is a babe, after all, and doesn’t have to dress plain.”

  “That’s what I thought.” She smiled at him. It was good to have him home. The cabin felt complete when he was in it.

  He laid the bonnet back on the sofa and put his hands in his pockets. “Can we eat now? I’m starving.”

  “Of course. Sit down. I’ll have it ready in a minute.”

  Maisie knew she was blushing. Nathan wasn’t interested in looking at baby clothes or clean floors. He’d been working long hours at a dangerous job. The least she could do was feed him when he came home, even if it was burnt meat loaf.

  * * *

  Nathan finished his meal in silence. It was good to be home. He had missed his children. He had even missed Maisie a little. While it had been good to see the men he worked with again, he’d found it hard to keep his mind on his job. Even one close call with a log that slipped out of its cable wasn’t enough to force him to put Maisie out of his mind. Now that she was sitting across the table from him, he tried to figure out why.

  Was it because of the things she said and did that reminded him of Annie? Or was it because of the way she showered his babies with love and tried to make his sparse cabin homey? He’d noticed the clean windows and floors, and how the house always smelled like something good was cooking. It had been a long time since Nathan felt at home, even in the place he’d built with his own hands.

  He went to the rocking chair and took down his Bible. He caught Maisie giving him a puzzled look.

  “I enjoyed reading to them yesterday. I thought I’d read to them while you clean up.”

  “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

  When Maisie finished with the supper dishes, she sat in the rocker and began to hem a gown she had made out of a soft yellow material. He caught her yawning several times.

  Before Nathan was finis
hed reading the story of David and Goliath, Jacob began to fuss. He knew Charity wouldn’t be far behind her brother in demanding her supper.

  Maisie put her sewing aside and went to the icebox to get their bottles. Nathan got up and took them from her hands. “I’ll do this feeding. You look tired. Why don’t you turn in?”

  “I can take care of them.” She reached for the bottles.

  He held them away from her. “I haven’t seen them all day. I want to do this.”

  “All right. If you put it that way. I am tired. I believe I will go to bed. Don’t forget to warm the milk.”

  “I won’t. Good night, Annie.” He placed the bottles in a bowl and filled it with hot water from the kettle on the stove.

  He turned back to see Maisie still standing beside the icebox. “I thought you were going to bed?”

  “You called me Annie.”

  Something in the way she said it held his attention. He had hurt her feelings. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “That’s all right. I know how easy it is to confuse us. I saw my reflection in a mirror at the fabric shop last week and I thought Annie was standing in front of me. It’s hard to accept she’s really gone. Good night, Nathan.”

  “Good night, Maisie.”

  “Thanks for feeding them.”

  “Sure.” He watched her climb the stairs with slow, lagging steps. Was she simply tired or was something else weighing on her? It surprised him how much he wanted to know.

  Would she confide in him if he asked?

  Chapter Nine

  Maisie felt like crying as she lay in bed listening to the sound of Nathan’s voice. He talked to the babies while he fed them, telling them about his day. His voice was tender and reassuring.

  He was a good father. She could imagine him teaching Jacob how to drive a buggy or handle a team. He would build the swing for Charity and push her higher when she begged him to.

  She could imagine herself standing off to the side watching, not really a part of the activities. Nathan would be smiling at the children and when he caught sight of her that smile would vanish because for an instant he would see Annie standing there.

  Maisie wasn’t sure she could endure those mistaken looks. Nathan would glance away. He might even apologize if he knew Maisie had caught the look. In time, it might not happen as often, but Maisie knew her sister’s shadow would always be between them.

  A tear rolled from the corner of her eye to dampen her pillowcase. For the first time in her life she wished she hadn’t been born a twin, at least not an identical one.

  Then again, she wouldn’t give up any part of her childhood with her dearest friend always at her side. They seldom had to tell each other what they were thinking. Annie always seemed to know. And Maisie had read her sister just as easily. It was why Annie’s disappearance had felt like such a betrayal.

  Maisie should’ve known what her sister was thinking. She should have prevented it. Maybe then she could be watching Annie and Nathan playing with their children and standing off to the side wouldn’t feel so painful.

  But God allowed Annie’s death. Maisie accepted that. She had come to help but she was only bringing more pain to Nathan and herself by staying. Was leaving, as he wished, the right thing to do? Maybe it was.

  Eventually she fell asleep. When she opened her eyes again she saw the morning sky growing light outside her tiny bedroom window.

  She sat up with a start. How could she have slept through the night without hearing the babies? She grabbed her robe and hurried down the stairs. She stopped on the next-to-last tread. Nathan was sprawled on the couch asleep. There were two empty baby bottles on the floor beside him and the cradles had been pulled up next to him.

  Buddy sat up and trotted to the door. He looked back over his shoulder at her. She crossed the floor on bare feet and let the dog out as quietly as she could. When she turned around she saw Nathan was awake and watching her. She self-consciously tightened the belt of her robe. Her hair hung over her shoulder in a long braid that went past her hips. She flipped it behind her.

  She stared at her toes. “You should have woke me.”

  “I realized you hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in almost a week. I know how that feels.”

  “I appreciate that, but you can’t have gotten much rest.”

  He sat up and twisted his neck one way, and then the other. “This couch leaves something to be desired.”

  “I feel awful. I should have heard them fuss. I always do.”

  “I kept them close to me so I heard their first peeps. Don’t worry about it. You needed a break. Now I need my kaffi.”

  She bit her lower lip. “Will you be able to work?”

  “I have missed sleep in the past. It won’t bother me. I’ve got to go do my chores.” He rose and stretched out his arms.

  Her breath seized and her heart started to hammer in her chest. How easy it would be to step into his embrace and have his arms enfold her.

  Maisie quickly turned away and chided herself for her wayward thoughts. She had to get over this fascination with him before he noticed. “I’ll go get changed.”

  She hurried up the stairs and pressed her hands to her flushed cheeks. There was nothing in Nathan’s manner to suggest he would welcome or even understand her feelings if she made them known. How long could she keep them hidden?

  The answer was simple. Forever.

  Once she had her everyday work dress on, her hair up and her kapp pinned in place, she felt ready to face him again. She took a deep breath and went down to start breakfast. By the time he came in, she had oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins simmering on the stove, coffee ready in the pot and her emotions under control.

  She sat at the table with her eyes down. If she didn’t look at him it was easier to pretend nothing had changed. The oatmeal tasted like sawdust in her mouth.

  “Do you need anything?” he asked. “Jimmy said he has to stop in town on his way home tonight.”

  She stirred a spoon of sugar into her coffee. She didn’t even like it sweet. “Not that I can think of.”

  “You might check the machine later to see if anyone has answered my ad.”

  She nodded. “I will.”

  “Have I upset you?”

  Maisie lifted her gaze to his face. “Of course not.”

  “Are you sure? You seem miles away.”

  “Too much sleep.” She smiled, took a sip of her coffee and grimaced.

  “Okay.” He crossed to the cradles, knelt between them and laid his hands on each baby’s head. “I’ll miss you. May Gott bless and keep you both.”

  “Amen,” Maisie said, watching his gentle goodbye.

  He gazed at them and slowly shook his head. “How is it that I can love them so much already?”

  The sound of a truck pulling up and honking outside brought him to his feet. “I’d better go.”

  “Don’t forget your lunch.” She got up to hand him the small blue-and-white lunch pail. His hands brushed hers as he took it from her.

  * * *

  Nathan watched Maisie jerk her hand away and push it into her pocket. There was something different about her today. She seemed unhappy. Sad, even. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

  Jimmy sounded the horn again. Nathan had to leave, but he would get to the bottom of Maisie’s unhappiness when he got home.

  “Be safe today,” she said. “I don’t want to mend any more cuts in your pants.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  He went out and climbed into the front seat with his fellow logger. “Morning, Jimmy.”

  “Morning, Nate. How are the kids?”

  Nathan grinned. “They are pretty amazing.”

  Jimmy turned the truck and drove down the lane. “That’s what my girlfriend says, but I’m not convinced. Any success finding a gal
to look after them?”

  “Not yet.”

  “How much longer can your sister-in-law stay?”

  “She says she’s not going anywhere until I find someone.”

  “If she wants to stay, then why are you trying to hire someone else?”

  “Because I don’t want her staying longer than necessary.”

  “The two of you don’t get along? I get it. I can’t say I’m crazy about my girlfriend’s family, either. I couldn’t imagine her sister living with us if we get married. Yikes.”

  “Ja, that’s the way of it.” He didn’t want to explain why having Annie’s twin around was so painful. He was ashamed of the way his wife left him. He didn’t want others to know how miserably he had failed as a husband. Thankfully, Jimmy didn’t ask him anything else.

  The trip up to Three Ponds logging camp was twenty miles one way. When they arrived, Nathan took off his black flat-topped hat and put on the hard hat that his boss required everyone to wear. Up here he didn’t stick out as an Amish fellow. Many of the men had beards, as he did, though he didn’t have a mustache. Even his suspenders weren’t out of the ordinary. Many of the men wore them for comfort.

  The day proved to be particularly grueling. Nathan was felling trees as fast as he safely could, trying to do the work of two men. Davis hadn’t been able to take on another feller yet. Nathan would be grateful when he did.

  When quitting time rolled around, he wiped the sweat from his brow and knocked the sawdust off of his shirt and pants. He saw the rip in his sleeve where he had caught it on a broken branch. He was bringing more mending home for Maisie. He knew how to use a needle and thread, but her repairs were much neater than his.

  Jimmy stopped in Fort Craig and left the truck to run several errands. Nathan noticed a bookstore across the street and got out. Inside, he easily found the children’s section and purchased four books. Nothing could replace reading the Bible, but it would be nice to read something the children would come to enjoy as they grew older. He hoped Maisie would approve.

  He was tired enough that he fell asleep in Jimmy’s vehicle on the ride home. He didn’t realize he was at his front door until Jimmy shook him by the arm. He sat up to see a green car drive away from his house. He didn’t recognize it. He got out with the parcel he had purchased in town.