An Amish Mother for His Twins

by Patricia Davids

  Nathan cocked his head to the side. “Cowboy?”

  “That’s what we call Tully. He was an Oklahoma cowboy before he found us. Ask him to show you some of his rope tricks.”

  “Is he any good?” Nathan asked.

  Gabe laughed. “He was an Englischer who roped himself an Amish wife. That takes real skill.”

  “If he has joined our faith, I’d say it was the wife who possessed considerable talent in bringing him around.”

  “Nee.” Zeke shook his head. “Tully says Gott used Becca to give his life purpose. The Lord makes use of us all in ways we may never know.”

  Maisie came out of the house and walked toward Nathan. He focused on the ground. She stopped a few feet away. “I’m ready to go if you are.”

  He cleared his throat. “Spend some time with your new friends. I can wait.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked hopefully.

  “Ja. We will go when everyone is done eating.”

  “Danki. I’m sorry about earlier.”

  “Forget it.”

  She gave him a tight smile before she turned and walked back to the house.

  Nathan looked up to find Gabe staring at him. His father was heading toward the barn. Gabe arched one eyebrow. “Trouble between you and Maisie?”

  “What makes you think that?”

  Gabe shrugged. “My wife, Esther, is deaf, and she’s very good at reading body language. I’ve picked up a thing or two from her.”

  Nathan sighed. “Maisie is my wife’s identical twin.”

  “So?” Gabe asked.

  Nathan wanted someone to understand what he was going through. Gabe was a twin. Perhaps he could see Nathan’s point. “It’s like looking at the woman I lost every time I see her.”

  “I take it you didn’t know Maisie well before this?”

  “I saw her briefly at the wedding and a few times at different gatherings.” He’d only had eyes for Annie back then.

  “As a triplet I can say my brothers and I are confused by people who don’t know us well. We may look alike at first glance, but we’re totally different people. Your grief is new, Nathan. It colors your thinking. That’s only natural. As you get to know Maisie better you’ll see that she isn’t so much like her sister. Come on.” Gabe tipped his head toward the barn. “The horseshoe pit is this way.”

  Nathan thoroughly enjoyed himself for the next hour as he and Gabe played against Zeke and Tully. He didn’t have their skill level. He hadn’t played in a while, but everyone looked like amateurs when the bishop played against the big black-haired fellow Nathan learned was Jesse Crump. Both men were highly skilled, but the bishop inched out a win at the end of three games. The older men congratulated the bishop while Gabe, Nathan, Tully and the other Fisher brothers commiserated with Jesse.

  “Admit it,” Moses said. “You let him win.”

  A wry grin appeared on Jesse’s face. “You will never hear those words from my lips. It’s my opinion that the Lord is on the bishop’s side.” He slapped Nathan on the back. “I hear you’re a lumberjack. Kind of small for that line of work, aren’t you?”

  Nathan stood several inches taller than the Fisher brothers, but he didn’t come close to Jesse’s height. “With a sharp chain saw in hand the tree doesn’t care how big the man is. It falls just the same.”

  Gabe laughed. “Jesse doesn’t use a chain saw. He just bites the trees off and uses the splinters for toothpicks.”

  Jesse took the teasing good-naturedly. “Sometimes it takes two bites. Walnut is a lot harder than pine.”

  Nathan realized he had missed the camaraderie of other Amish men since leaving Missouri. He had friends among his Englisch coworkers in the lumber company, but there was something special about the dry wit of Amish men that another Amish fellow could appreciate.

  “I had best round up my family and head for home,” Tully said. “The cows haven’t learned how to milk themselves.” He walked over and spoke to his father-in-law and then to Harvey. The boy nodded and jogged toward the horses. He untied one and led it to one of the parked buggies.

  Nathan looked toward the house. Maisie was probably becoming impatient. He walked into the kitchen and heard voices coming from the living room. He looked in and saw her sitting cross-legged on the floor. She was holding Charity against her shoulder while Jacob lay snuggled in the nest of her lap. Two young girls, who looked to be eight or nine, were lying on the floor with their chins propped on their hands beside Maisie, admiring Jacob. Maisie was chuckling at the antics of the toddler playing peekaboo with a teenage girl in the center of the room.

  Maisie looked up and caught sight of him. Her bright smile vanished. Because of him. He suddenly wished he knew how to restore it. What did the others think of their relationship?

  “I’m ready if you are,” he said, avoiding her eyes.

  “I am. Annabeth and Maddie, would you fetch the baskets for the babies?”

  The girls beside her popped to their feet and raced up the stairs. Maisie held Charity out for Nathan to take, then transferred Jacob to her arms and rose.

  The two girls came downstairs and set the baskets at Maisie’s feet. She settled Jacob in one then held out her arms for Charity. Nathan handed over his daughter. Maisie swaddled her and tucked her in. “There we go, liebling. Snug as a bug,” she said softly.

  Maisie was so at ease handling them. She seemed at home with the other women in the room, too. He felt oddly out of place and wondered if they had been talking about him.

  He picked up Jacob’s basket. “We’ll be in the buggy.”

  “I won’t be a moment. Goodbye, everyone.”

  “Don’t forget to let us know if you need anything,” Gemma said. “We’ll be out to check on you soon.”

  Nathan paused in the doorway when he heard that. Check on her? Why?

  Maisie nodded. “I appreciate that. I’ll see you then.”

  “Bethany will bring some of her cinnamon biscuits because I love them,” Gemma said.

  “You should learn to make them yourself,” another woman said. Nathan recognized her as Bethany Shetler. They’d met on the day he was taking Maisie to the bus station.

  Gemma sighed heavily. “I’ve tried. Yours are better.”

  “I’ll fix cinnamon coffee to go with them,” Maisie said.

  “Ach, that sounds goot. How is it made?” the bishop’s wife asked.

  Maisie glanced at Nathan and then back to the women. “I’ll show you when you come. Goodbye.”

  Outside, he found Harvey had brought Sassy and his buggy to the front door. Nathan helped Maisie in and then handed her Jacob. He went around to the driver’s side and got in. “Why are they coming out to check on you?”

  “Because that’s what they do for new mothers. I know I’m not the children’s mother but taking care of them and the house can be exhausting. The women will clean and bring ready-made meals so I don’t have to cook as much.” She settled Jacob’s basket next to Charity on the seat so that both babies were between them.

  “That’s goot. I won’t be so concerned about you while I’m at work.”

  Her gaze snapped to his. “You don’t need to worry. I’ll take every care with them.”

  “Oh, I know that.” In fact, he was sure of it. He picked up the lines and clicked his tongue to get Sassy moving.

  * * *

  Maisie watched the slowly changing countryside as Sassy trotted toward Nathan’s home. Fields of potato plants were sandwiched between areas of dense forest, giving the land a patchwork appearance in varying shades of green. There were a few wheat fields and cornfields, too, but for the most part the farmable land grew potatoes. It was the staple crop for the area.

  She looked at the babies, who were both sleeping peacefully, and smiled. The worship service and the companionship of new friends had succeeded in lifting her sp
irits. She glanced at Nathan, determined to keep things casual between them. “I thought all three of the preachers did a goot job, didn’t you?”

  “Ja.”

  He didn’t elaborate. “Did I miss anything important while I was upstairs with the kinder?”

  “Nee.”

  “Was meeting people as hard as you feared?”

  “It wasn’t.”

  Two words that time. He was getting quite talkative. “No one asked about my sister. I think Constance and Dinah must have shared what I told them with everyone. Did anyone ask you about Annie?”

  “I spoke to the bishop. He knows the whole story. Only Tully Lange offered his condolences and asked about her. His father-in-law was quick to explain that Tully was newly come to our faith and didn’t know it was improper to speak of the dead.”

  “His wife Becca told me Tully was Englisch. I’ve never known one of them to join our faith, have you?”

  “I have not.”

  Maisie stared at her folded hands. “I guess I shouldn’t mention Annie anymore. Gott allowed her death. I accept that, but I’m not ready to let her go. We were so close once.”

  “If you need to talk about her I will understand,” he said, surprising Maisie.

  “Danki.”

  Not knowing what else to say, she went back to watching the landscape. In the distance, she saw a black shape loping up the side of a hill.

  She sat up straight. “Is that a bear?”

  Nathan looked her way. “Where?”

  “Near the top of that rise?” She pointed to where she was looking.

  “I see it. That’s a black bear, all right.”

  Nathan’s home was less than a mile away. “Are they dangerous?”

  “They avoid people so make noise if you are walking in the woods.”

  “What do you mean make noise? What kind of noise?”

  “Talking, singing. Anything to let the animal know where you are.”

  “I’ll remember that. I should climb a tree if I see one, right?” She shivered at the idea. What if she was out with the children?

  “They are excellent climbers so that won’t deter them.”

  Walking in the woods was definitely out of the question now. “Have you seen them near your home?”

  “Occasionally. Buddy will warn them away if they come around.”

  “He’s not a very big dog.”

  “His bark is loud enough. I reckon mine has been, too. For that I’m sorry.”

  Was he apologizing for the times he had snapped at her? “At least you don’t bite.”

  “I’ll do better in the future.”

  “As will I.”

  A smile pulled up one corner of his mouth. “Haven’t we had this conversation already?”

  “You less irritated and me less annoying? I believe we have.”

  “Perhaps we’ll get it right if we keep trying.”

  “I’ll be less irritated from now on. You can be less annoying.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Jacob began crying. Maisie tried to soothe him but he wasn’t having it. She hadn’t packed more formula because she thought Nathan would have returned home by now. Nathan turned into his lane and Sassy picked up the pace. He stopped her in front of the cabin.

  Maisie picked up Jacob and his head bobbed angrily against her shoulder as he tried to find something to suck on. His grasping hand found the ribbon on her kapp and he pulled it toward his mouth.

  Maisie winced and tipped her head. “Ow! Stop, honey, that’s pinned to my hair.” She tried to open his fist, but he hung on tight, pulled harder and yelled at the top of his lungs.

  “Let me help.” Nathan opened her door and leaned in. He took hold of the baby’s hand. His own fingers brushed against Maisie’s neck. “Let go, sohn,” he coaxed.

  Maisie felt the heat rush to her face at Nathan’s nearness. “It’s fine. I can manage.”

  “I’ve got it.” He gave a tug that pulled her kapp crookedly over her eye, but the babe let loose.

  Nathan tried to smooth her head covering back in place. Suddenly he paused with one hand still touching her face. Maisie looked into his eyes and saw confusion. Her heart began to beat faster. What did he see? What was he thinking? Was he remembering the times he had touched Annie’s face with tenderness? She looked away, but the feelings she held in her heart didn’t subside. If anything, they grew stronger. She didn’t want to be the cause of his pain or a reminder of sweet things that passed between a husband and wife.

  She wanted Nathan to see her. She could tell he didn’t.

  * * *

  A knot formed in Nathan’s chest. Maisie’s hair was thick and soft. The sun-dried smell of her linen kapp mixed with the scents of lavender and clean babies. He realized he was looming over her when she pulled away. He slowly withdrew his hand and took a step back. “He’s got a good grip for such a small fellow. He’ll be able to hold an axe, for sure.”

  She cradled the crying boy in her arms and slipped out of the buggy without speaking. Her shoulder brushed against Nathan’s chest, causing the knot in him to tighten. He took another step back and watched her rush into the house. Once she was out of sight, he was able to take a breath.

  His reaction to Maisie’s nearness amazed him. It should have been because she resembled his wife, but he hadn’t been thinking about Annie in that moment.

  He couldn’t be attracted to Maisie. The idea was ridiculous. Besides being his sister-in-law, she didn’t even like him.

  He shook his head to clear it. His reaction had to be because she looked like Annie. The affection he’d had for his wife had withered during the months following her vanishing act, but he had loved her once. The moment with Maisie must have sparked the memory of those tender feelings. He would have to take care that it didn’t happen again.

  Charity began to squirm in her carrier. Nathan realized he’d forgotten about her. He lifted her out of the basket and cuddled her against his chest. “Sorry, liebling. Your daed isn’t thinking straight today.”

  She curled into a ball against him. So tiny and precious. His heart expanded with love for her. “May Gott grant me the strength to protect you always.”

  Would her life be difficult without a mother? Nathan could supply many of her needs, but what about the things a little girl learned at her mother’s knee? How to cook and sew and make a home, even how to care for younger brothers and sisters. All these things, and so many others, he wouldn’t be able to teach her. Perhaps her nanny, when he hired one, would show her all those things.

  He glanced toward the house. Maisie could teach her what she needed to know and would love her, too. Every child needed to be loved.

  The bishop’s words came back to him again. He was being unfair to Maisie, but was he being unfair to his children, too? Didn’t they deserve to be loved by her?

  He shook his head and kissed the top of his daughter’s bonnet. “Your kinder heeda will love you and your brother. How could she not?”

  He walked into the house determined to avoid a repeat of his closeness with Maisie. Dredging up old memories of Annie was exactly why he didn’t want Maisie around.

  The afternoon passed pleasantly enough. He thought Maisie took pains to stay out of his way. She cooked a light supper of boiled beef and cabbage from his garden. He liked the way she seasoned it. He couldn’t recall Annie ever making the dish.

  After supper, he got down the Bible and sat in the rocking chair between the babies to read to them. Maisie sat at the kitchen table mending his socks. He didn’t have a pair without at least one hole in them. He was grateful she had noticed.

  After half an hour, he closed the book. Maisie looked up from her mending. “Shall I fix you a lunch for tomorrow?”

  “I can eat at the canteen on site. You don’t need to go to any trouble.”

>   “Is the food goot?”

  “It’s food.”

  “I see. So, ja, I will fix you a lunch.” Her tone said the subject was closed. She put her mending aside. “I believe I will turn in now.”

  “I think I’ll stay up a while. I like to watch them sleep. You don’t have to stay up with me,” he added quickly.

  She smiled softly. “Remain as long as you like.”

  “Danki, Maisie. For all you have done for my babies,” he said, wanting her to know he meant it.

  She smiled at him. “It’s what Annie would have wanted me to do.” She crossed the room and climbed the stairs to the loft.

  The bishop’s question came back to Nathan. Are you being fair to Maisie?

  He wasn’t. He wasn’t being fair to his children, either.

  He should let Maisie be their nanny, but how was he going to make that work?

  Chapter Twelve

  Maisie was relieved when the weekend was over and Nathan started back to work again. It meant she only had to see him for brief times during the day. She fixed his breakfast and his lunch with a cheerful smile on her face. It wasn’t until he went out the door that she fell to pieces. She tried to put him out of her mind, but it was like making the sun go down in the east. Impossible.

  When she was with him, she noticed everything about him, from the way he smiled at his babies to the way he didn’t smile at her. It was hopeless. He was growing dearer to her every single day.

  The evenings were the worst, when he read to the babies or worked on some project at the kitchen table. Sometimes she caught him watching her and her heart would begin to race, but he always looked away. He never said that he cared for her, too. She took to going up to bed early just so she wouldn’t have to face him and hide her feelings.

  She longed for and yet dreaded the coming weekend, when he would be home for two whole days.

  Friday evening she sat in the rocker after supper and picked up Charity. The babe wasn’t hungry so Maisie just rocked her and hummed a children’s song she had learned when she was in school.