Loving Her

by Jeanne St. James

  When he licks his lips, I feel that all the way to my core before the heat radiates out to every part of my body. My nipples pucker and I brush my fingers over the tips before cupping their weight in my hands and squeezing them together.

  He watches my every move, especially when I roll both nipples between my thumbs and forefingers.

  “You like nipple clamps, Brianna?” he asks, his voice a bit broken. He’s already affected and I’ve barely begun.

  “I do.”

  “On you?”

  I don’t answer him. So, he bravely continues.

  “Do you like the bite of them on your nipples, Brianna? That pull you get through your body when they pinch tight?”

  My lips part and a puff of air escapes. I tweak my nipples harder, imagining the sharp sensation clamps can provide.

  “Do you want me to clamp them on the tips and pull them on a long chain with my teeth until you beg me to fuck you hard?”

  He’s doing it again. And I yank him back.

  “Stop talking,” I demand. I love how he’s making me hot and needy. But, he’s trying to turn the tables, and I’m curious to know why.

  “You want it,” he murmurs.

  And I do. But now he’s talking out of turn.

  “You’re a disobedient pet, you know that, Noah?”

  He doesn’t answer me, but I see that gleam in his eye. He’s determined to undo my control.

  I may allow that, but not yet. “You liked that earlier paddling?”

  Again, he doesn’t answer me.

  “Apparently, it wasn’t enough to teach you to behave.”

  Again, nothing.

  “You may speak,” I tell him.

  “Yes.”

  I arch a brow at him. “Yes?”

  “Yes, I liked the paddling. But, no, I don’t want to behave with you. So, you may paddle me until I’m black and blue, but I will give as good as I get.”

  “You’ve had Mistresses who have put up with this type of behavior, this insolence?” I ask in surprise.

  “No.”

  “You normally don’t challenge?”

  “Never.”

  I open my mouth to ask, “Why now?” But I don’t because I know why. It’s a turn-on to me. Although, only with him. He recognizes this and is attempting to use it to his advantage.

  “Are you disrespecting me in this fashion?” I don’t find myself angry with it, more like amused.

  “No. Never.”

  I give a sharp nod, finally release my breasts, drawing my hands down to my labia, separating the folds, stroking a finger between them.

  “You can’t escape this time, my pet.” When he doesn’t answer, I become concerned. “You understand that, right? I’m sure you’ve worn similar cuffs and please be aware my bed is specifically made for this type of restraint. You can’t escape without hurting yourself. If you absolutely need to be released, use your safe word.”

  I wonder if he’s even listening. And I must make sure he hears me.

  “What’s your safe word, Noah?”

  His eyes flick up to mine and then back down to what my fingers are doing, which are slowly trailing between my plump, slick lips.

  “Mississippi,” he says so softly I almost miss it.

  I grab my favorite red vibrator and twist the top until its hum serenades us. He whispers something else, but I don’t catch it.

  With two fingers in a V, I open myself up and press the vibrator to my clit. My thighs tense and so do his. His body gets tight as I circle and tease myself to the point of having to part my mouth to release my rapid, ragged breath.

  Heat rushes through me as I observe him watching me closely. With a finger pressed to my clit, I move the toy lower, sliding it slowly deep inside. The tone of the vibrations changes as I squeeze it tight, sensations radiating through my core, bringing me to a peak, but not quite over the top yet.

  Not quite.

  I work it in and out of me, over and over, my hips twitch, my thighs clench, my fingers moving faster against my clit. Normally, I can make myself come very quickly. But I want it to last just a little bit longer this time, I want him ready to take me with his mouth. I want him to be hungry.

  “How badly do you want to taste me, my pet?”

  His eyelids heavy, his mouth parted, his chest rises and falls at a quick pace. He jerks on the cuffs at his hands and feet, almost bucking me off.

  His cock is long and hard again, a drop of precum glistening at the very top. “I want you now, Brianna.”

  “You don’t get to demand things, my pet,” I say calmly, desperate to keep myself together.

  “Now, Brianna,” he shouts like he’s losing his mind.

  He swallows hard and his Adam’s apple jumps, drawing my attention to his throat. I’m dying to sink my teeth there while he cries out my name.

  His eyes snap and become wild when I murmur that I’m about to come.

  He shuts his eyes. Which is unacceptable.

  “Watch me,” I demand.

  His chest heaves and he jerks again at his restraints. The bed doesn’t give, not even the slightest. “Fuck,” he groans.

  “Open your eyes, Noah,” I tell him more firmly.

  He blows out a breath but opens them, his gaze burning me.

  “Watch me come.”

  My hips shoot up as a climax rolls over and through me, curling my toes as I throw my head back, gasping.

  His legs jerk beneath me as he strains against his restraints. As if almost from a distance, I hear him growl, “Fuck.”

  The vibrator slips from me and I toss it aside as my head lowers to look at him.

  His jaw is tight, a muscle ticking fiercely, his arms bulge as he continues to fight the restraints.

  “Fuck,” he barks again.

  But he doesn’t ask me to release him, he doesn’t say the word which would stop his torment.

  “Did you like that, my pet?”

  “Fuck,” he repeats again, slamming his head back into the pillow, rocking it back and forth.

  Walking up his body on my hands and knees, I go face to face with him, trailing a finger down his cheek, over his lips, the ones that will be on me shortly. His mouth opens, and he sucks my finger in between his lips, playing along my digit with his tongue. That’s when it hits me that he’s tasting my arousal still on my fingers.

  A second later he releases it. “Sit on my face,” he orders.

  That was my plan, but now he just demanded something of me he shouldn’t have. “That sounded like a command, my pet. Surely, I misunderstood.”

  His eyes flash as he struggles to say calmly, “Yes, ma’am... Please...forgive me.”

  I slide a thumb over his other cheekbone. “I don’t know if I can let that slide, Noah. You’re awfully disobedient.”

  His lip curls almost as if in a snarl. “I am. Punish me by sitting on my face.” He jerks his arms again. I raise my gaze to where the cuffs are hooked. Everything remains where it should be... still secure.

  I pin my lips together in an attempt not to laugh at his impertinence. He’s determined, if nothing else.

  I slip my fingers into his hair and push it off his face. “My pet,” I whisper. “My Noah. What am I going to do with you?”

  “I don’t care what you do with me as long as I have you.”

  My heart squeezes, some of my resolve melts. I dig my hands into his hair on both sides of his head and shift to my knees on the bed above his shoulders. Then I take his mouth as mine when I lower myself. My fingers curl tightly in his hair as his tongue nudges me apart, and he eats me like a starved man. Gentle can’t describe his actions and I love every second of it. His teeth, lips, and tongue work me into a frenzy. My hips rock above him as I grind myself against his face, wanting more, wanting everything he’s giving to me. He sucks my clit hard, scrapes it with his teeth, making me whimper. I yank his head up by his hair, keeping him pressed tight, and he groans against my soaked pussy. The stubble on his face scores the delicate ski
n high on my inner thighs.

  Fuck. He’s going to make me come again at any moment. My body goes tight, my back bows, my neck arches, and I cry out his name. But he continues to flick, nibble and suck me as I come back down.

  When I unclench my fingers, his head drops back to the pillow, but I follow him down, capturing his lips with mine, tasting myself on his tongue. He makes a noise at the back of his throat and I break the kiss.

  “Mississippi,” slips from him on a breath.

  What? Now? Why?

  That makes no sense.

  Chapter Seven

  Noah:

  “Mississippi,” I say louder and more firmly this time because she’s not moving fast enough. In fact, she’s not moving at all. And that’s unacceptable.

  She needs to hurry, let me go, because I can’t take anymore. I’m at my limit and I’m done.

  Completely done.

  Annoyed concern crosses her face. “Don’t fuck with me, Noah,” she warns and I get what she’s saying... this better not be a trick.

  I’m not going to explain my actions. I won’t. I can’t. Fuck it. “Mississippi,” I say again, determined that she recognize my wish.

  Like snapping out of a trance, she hastily shifts down the bed, unbuckling my ankles first. All the while, my head spins like a Tilt-a-Whirl and I need it to stop. I need to right my world.

  Once my legs are free, I bend my knees in anticipation of release, of freedom. Of being able to make decisions for myself.

  I can’t take my eyes from her as she moves to my wrists, leaning over the bed in an attempt to reach them. Her breasts hang inches from my face, my mouth, tempting me and I groan, which makes her eyes flick down to me, now more worried than displeased.

  She thinks I’m suffering. And I am. But not in the way she may think.

  As the tension eases on my wrists, I can taste it right there... my freedom. And suddenly, I’m just that... no longer restrained. Before she can pull away, my hands circle her waist and flip us over, so I’m on top and she’s not.

  I rake my hand through her hair and grab a handful, pulling her head back to expose her neck. Shoving my face into her throat, I sink my teeth in hard.

  “Noah,” she gasps. “What—”

  I quiet her by taking her mouth, forcing my tongue between her lips, and a noise vibrates up her throat and I swallow it. It’s mine. Any words she utters now belong to me, and any noises she makes are mine. Her breasts, her pussy, that ass of hers, all mine.

  I don’t want to be her pet. I want to be her man. She needs to belong to me as much as I belong to her. And I need to prove that to her. Show her how important that is.

  I move down her body, nipping, kissing, licking, teasing a nipple, sucking at her navel, down farther, grabbing the flesh of her mound between my teeth until she cries out. Then going even farther, I shove her thighs up and out, burying my face where I was at when I previously couldn’t touch her with anything but my mouth.

  Now I can touch her as I’d like. Now she can’t do anything about it.

  This is my time.

  This is for me.

  And this is for her.

  But nothing I do is gentle. Right now I’m not trying to woo her. Instead, I want to satisfy her and I need to prove to her that I can do that without any gimmicks, without any toys. No whips, no chains, no cuffs, no vibrators.

  She’s getting just me.

  Just Noah.

  Just Bree.

  Just us.

  The way we were meant to be back in that fucking shed, in that moment that changed everything. That time and place that altered our lives.

  Something so stupid, so simple and so easily laughed off, wasn’t. It was taken to heart by two people who didn’t know how to communicate.

  It can never be like that again. Not if we want to survive as an us.

  Her hips dance around, grinding against my mouth as my tongue slides in and out of her, my fingers follow the dance along her clit.

  She looks beautiful. She tastes beautiful. She is beautiful. Inside and out. That hasn’t changed.

  My mouth and fingers switch places and I suck hard at her clit and curve my fingers deep inside her knowing exactly where she needs me to be, what she needs me to do.

  She pulls at my hair, tearing at my scalp as she screams when a climax rips through her. But I don’t let up. Not for a moment.

  I will make up for every orgasm I should have given her throughout these years. They may not be all tonight. That’s impossible. But eventually... Eventually I will make up for the chunk of our lives where we could have been together, loving each other, curling up together, talking, sharing... creating a family.

  Everything we missed because I made her fucking cry.

  Now I need to hear her cry in a different way.

  Her hands drop to my shoulders, her nails raking my skin, and I smile against her flesh as she orgasms once again.

  “Let up. Let up,” she chants, breathless. “I need a break.”

  I surge forward covering her body with mine. “No break, baby,” I grunt as I thrust deep inside her. Her arms snake around my neck, her stockinged legs curl around my hips, her heels dig into my thighs as I ride her hard and fast.

  Her head slams into the pillow and her neck arches as she moans, “Ah, Noah... Noah...”

  “That’s it, baby, say my name.”

  A whimper escapes her then she rises up, grabs my hair to pull me down into a deep kiss, but we both have to break it quickly because we’re breathing too hard, too fast. I slide my hands under her hips, lifting her, tilting her and I touch her as deeply as I can.

  “That’s me inside you, baby, that’s me. Noah. Not your pet. Not your toy. Not your sub.”

  “Noah,” she cries. “Fuck me, Noah, fuck me.”

  “I am, baby, I’m fucking you like you were meant to be fucked. By me and only me. There’s nobody else for me but you, Bree. Only you. Do you feel this between us? Do you feel it like I do?”

  “Yes... I feel it.”

  “Is it yours?”

  “It’s mine.”

  “Is it mine?”

  “It’s yours.”

  “It’s ours, baby. All ours. Fucking come for me, Bree. I want to feel you throb around me. I want to come with you. Do it, come for me.”

  “I... I can’t... I can’t... Oh, fuck. I can’t...” she whimpers, her eyes rolling back.

  I press my lips to her ear. “You can. Do it. Now.”

  “Fuck, Noah... Fuck!” she screams.

  Her chest slams into mine as her body bows beneath me and I feel what I’m looking for. Her muscles squeezing my cock hard, fast, and that’s when I spill inside her, meeting her on the other side.

  Breathless. Boneless. Fulfilled.

  I push my face into her damp neck as the energy rushes out of me, as I struggle to control my breathing, to suck in badly needed oxygen. I inhale her scent and a calm moves over me.

  Her fingers wrap around the back of my head, smoothing my hair down, and I remain quiet, listening to her breathing which is slowing as well.

  I reluctantly slide out and off her, collapsing to her side and place a palm over her heart, feeling its strong beat under my fingers.

  Then it hits me again, this time more sharply. I never wanted any of this with her. Not with Bree. The only thing I ever wanted from her is beating under my palm.

  My chest squeezes and I rise up onto an elbow, looking above her. “We’re done here. Done with this.” I indicate the cuffs still hanging from the headboard.

  With eyes wide, she blinks up at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything. Everything’s wrong.”

  “I hurt you earlier?” she asks, the surprise evident in her voice.

  “You hurt me when you ran out of the shed crying. It hurt when I didn’t get the chance to apologize. I know you didn’t do it on purpose and it happened. It’s life. I grew a set and moved on. I’m aware I hurt you, too. With my inexperience, with what you wit
nessed in that fucking house, a place I only escaped to in an effort to make sure I never made a woman cry again for that same reason. But now, Bree, this shit has to stop.”

  With shaky lips, she whispers, “I’m sorry. I thought—”

  “I know what you thought. And I know why you thought it. Everything you thought is true. But not with you. I can’t be like this with you.”

  “I thought this is what you wanted.”

  I shake my head. “No. This is not what I wanted.” I close my eyes for a moment to gather my torn thoughts. “Okay, it’s what I needed to figure out what I wanted. But, baby,” I cup her face in my hands, “this is never what I wanted from you.”

  “What did you want from me?”

  “Just you. Sweet. Yellow sundresses. Pink cotton panties. Smiles. Laughs.”

  It’s all clear to me now.

  “You don’t like the leather?”

  What I don’t like is the insecurity in her voice. It doesn’t belong there and I don’t want to be the reason it’s there. “I like the leather. I like the fact that I become rock hard with you wearing that leather get-up. I like that you drive me crazy while wearing those freaking stockings as you’re paddling my ass or sucking my cock. But I love Bree, baby, Bree. Brianna is great but not for every day. I like Brianna very much, don’t get me wrong. But, baby, I love Bree. I’ve always loved Bree. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you. I knew you would be mine the first time I kissed you in your backyard and you punched me in the gut.”

  “You’ve loved me since then?”

  “Yes. I’ve loved no one but you.”

  “But—”

  “Don’t mistake this... There have been other women. And I’ve had other Mistresses. But none of them has ever lasted because deep down inside I knew I was meant to be with you. Only you, Bree.”

  “Noah,” she whispers, her voice catching.

  “No regrets. Now it’s time to bury them. Move on.”