Satan's Devils MC Colorado Boxset 1 Books 1 - 3

by Manda Mellett

  “What’s up?” I ask.

  She sighs, presses her lips together, then finally, speaks. “Seems I’ve got to grow up now. Can’t be a kid any longer.”

  Music to my fucking ears. Yet how will I cope if she acts adult, and I’m still required to be hands off?

  “What’s happened, Doll?” Something has. That’s for sure. “You get into it with Slick and Ella last night?” I’d felt like punching Slick myself. Date night, fuck my ass. I could see how angry she was when she’d left me.

  “Slick and El were assholes.”

  She won’t be getting any argument from me. Her way of putting it brings a fleeting smile to my face, but it soon slides away. “And?”

  “They told me about the Herreras. About the renewed threat.” She glances around, drawing my attention to where a pregnant Sam is playing with Eli, Drummer’s toddler son. Sophie, with an even larger rounded stomach, is walking in holding the hand of Olivia who’s tottering by her side. Her eyes catch those of Marcia who’s sitting on the floor with her eight month old twins happily playing on their mats. Then her head turns slightly, taking in Joker and Lady talking with Darcy, Peg’s expectant wife who’s just come off her firefighting shift. Jayden looks back. “About how me being here is a danger to everyone else.”

  What? My face tightens. “I’m sure they didn’t word it like that.”

  A shrug. “Maybe not. But that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it?”

  She’s right. It is a grown-up way of looking at it. But I don’t want her to feel she’s got everyone’s safety resting on her shoulders. She’s nervous, constantly scanning the room as if expecting the Herreras are going to appear any moment. “Jay, we’re not even sure they’re going to act on their threat, or even if they actually meant it. We’re just being prepared. Doll, there’s nothing for you to worry about. Every man here would give their lives to keep you safe.”

  Her lips thin again. “But that’s what I don’t like. Of course I don’t want the Herreras to take me, but I don’t want anyone getting hurt trying to protect me.” She glances at her clasped hands which are trembling, then up at me. “They mentioned Colorado.”

  “They mention why?” I ask, my jaw locked.

  A quick look toward me. “Well they are worried if we go off together, they don’t think we’ll be able to keep our hands to ourselves.” The way she says it doesn’t sound like it’s a particularly attractive option.

  In a way, I can understand. Much as I’d like the chance to move our relationship on to the next step, the thought it could happen so much quicker than expected has got me off balance too. I sigh. “Even if we wanted to, Jay, probably won’t be as easy as that. Hellfire and his old lady have been married forever. Got grown kids, one I think about my age. I don’t reckon we’ll have completely free rein. It wouldn’t be like we’d be moving in together.”

  As her head tilts, I see a fleeting expression of relief. “We didn’t get around to discussing details. What is the plan, then?”

  Drummer had filled me in after his conversation with the Colorado prez. “I’ll be patching over as a member and will bunk down in the clubhouse. You’ll be staying with Hellfire and his old lady in their house off the compound.”

  “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.” She’s shaking her head. “Staying with strangers.”

  I nod, she wouldn’t. Living with people we don’t know will be hard for the both of us, particularly at the start. My hand starts to move, I force it to stop. I’d do anything to reach over the table and take hers, but we’re not alone in the clubroom. Word will get back to Drummer and Slick, my innocent action could be misinterpreted. I can’t wait to go somewhere where we can be ourselves. In Colorado, nothing can stop us physically demonstrating our affection for each other, once the next few months have passed, and Jayden’s reached her seventeenth birthday.

  As she bites her lip, worried, I rush to reassure her, “Promise you this, Jay. You don’t get on with Hellfire’s old lady? I’ll find somewhere else for the both of us.”

  “Pal, I…”

  “Doll, I’ll do whatever you want to keep you happy. Always have. That’s not going to change.”

  “I’m not ready to play happy families, Pal. El will want me to continue school.”

  “Jay, you’re still young. I know that. Your education is important. I want you to continue it too. Get your diploma, then decide what you want out of life.”

  Once again she looks around at the room filled with old ladies and babies. Heart has just walked in, making a beeline for his wriggling twins, Grunt, the fucking overgrown mutt, bounding along behind. I see her hands twitching as though she’s eager to go and help. She’ll make a great mom one day. Fucking loves kids.

  “I’ll miss this.” She seems to have forgotten about her education.

  “So will I,” I tell her truthfully. “Hard for me to move as it is for you. The men here? Well, they’re all the family I’ve ever known.”

  Her look is older than her years, she pales a little as she offers bravely. “You don’t have to come, Pal. Slick and Ella have offered to start somewhere new.”

  “I’m twenty-one, Jay. Young enough to make a fresh start. Only been with the club three years. Slick’s been here forever. Be much harder asking him to move. And where would they go? None of the other chapters have had an influx of old ladies and kids like this one. Ella’s best here with the support of the other women around her.”

  There’s a moment of silence, her teeth worry her lip again, then, with visible reluctance, she agrees. “El doesn’t need the stress of a move. Not before the baby’s born.”

  There’s something about her today that unsettles me. Part of me expected her to jump at the chance of us starting some place new together. She’s worried. Not just about packing our bags and starting all over again in a new place. “Speak to me, Jay.”

  “It’s just…” Her hands flutter, then she starts again. “You and me, Pal. What are you expecting? Here, we’ve not been allowed to be anything but friends. If we go to Colorado, can we just continue the same way? I don’t think I’m ready for anything else.”

  I rear back. I had wondered, when it came down to it, she might not want me. But hearing her suggest she’s uncertain about progressing our relationship, I realise I hadn’t been prepared. It affects me like a knife twisting in my gut. Perhaps she’s scared of going as she thinks I’ll be making assumptions? I’m pleased when she stays quiet and gives me a moment to gather my thoughts.

  Raising my chin toward her, I finally answer her question. “I’ll be there for you, Jay, however you want me. As a friend? Sure, yeah, I can do that. Got a lot of practice there. Want us to start dating? Absolutely. I’d love that. But you’re getting ahead of yourself if you’re talking about becoming lovers.” I pause, lean forward, and now do take hold of her hands, fuck what anyone might think. “We’ll do this as any other couple. I told you I’d wait for you, and I have. Not even been tempted by anyone else. But…” As she takes a deep breath, I tighten my grip as a sign I don’t want to be interrupted. “You owe me nothing, okay? If I’ve waited in vain, that’s on me, not you. If you want to go out with other boys instead? Hell, it might hurt, but I’ll understand. You need the time and space to make up your mind, I’ll give it to you. Can’t say I won’t be upset if you don’t choose me in the end, but I’ll deal. Okay?”

  Her brow furrows. “Don’t you want me?”

  That’s what she heard? Rapidly I rerun the conversation in my head. Can’t see where I said words to that effect. “Jay, I could be jailed for the thoughts I have about you, so get that out of your fuckin’ little head, okay?”

  I smirk, I can’t help it. Her face has gone bright red. She looks adorable, and I just want to kiss her. Maybe, when we get to Colorado, I can.

  Jayden tugged at every protective instinct I had from the moment I met her. When I’d first heard her story, I’d wanted to gather her up into my arms and never let anything hurt her again. I kn
ew my desires toward her were wrong, she was fourteen, jailbait. While Drummer and Slick had warned me of the dire consequences should I act on my feelings toward her, they needn’t have told me. I knew what I felt toward her was wrong. She needed time to heal, to go to therapy, to deal with what had happened to her. To grow, to mature. I’d been determined to wait for her. I knew even then my feelings toward her would never change. All these long months, years, that I’ve waited, I’ve watched out for her. Been her friend. It’s up to her to indicate whether she wants me to be more.

  Maybe in Colorado, we’ll have a chance to find out.

  It’s easy to see she’s shocked and overwhelmed with everything being dropped on her like this. I don’t want to crowd her or pressure her. I stand, seeing the pool table is free. “Want to let me beat you?”

  My suggestion we shelve this heavy conversation for now is greeted with a quick smile, a recognition I’m giving her space to consider everything I’d just laid on her.

  “Beat me? In your dreams,” she scoffs, as she too gets to her feet.

  Our conversation ends up being put on the back burner. Not just for now, but for months. As the days and weeks pass with nothing more than oblique threats from the Herreras, nothing more is mentioned. The suggestion of us moving to Colorado seems to have been put aside indefinitely.

  Mouse is here and there at the moment, we never seem to know when he’s going to be around. He’s got something going on. As concerned brothers, we wish he’d open up so we can help him. Can’t fault the man, he still does his job for us. Part of that is keeping an ear out for chatter on the Herreras. If they are indeed coming for Jayden, there continues to be no suggestion of it in the info he’s found.

  The idea of me taking Jayden away to keep her safe loses the urgency it had. As the days go by, it appears we’d been passed an empty threat. Satisfying myself that the clock is ticking on, if I have to stay in Tucson and wait until she’s eighteen, well, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll wait forever if necessary.

  Jayden’s the one girl I want. As soon as I’d been patched in, the sweet butts started cosying up to me, but eventually gave me up as a lost cause. I wasn’t going to betray her. Even the hangarounds that come to our parties hold no interest for me. My fear in the dead of the night is that in the end, she might not want me. But even that thought doesn’t make me break the promise I’d made to her that night so long ago.

  Life’s never boring here in Tucson. Joker and Lady get married, then Joker’s brother dies, and Joker becomes the guardian of a baby girl. Another kid on the compound for Jayden to fawn over. It tugs at something inside me when I watch her competently handling every baby and child, knowing that one day I’d like that to be my baby she’s looking after.

  Sam and Sophie grow big and rounded as they incubate both of their second children. Then, fuck me, Mouse at last opens up and lets us in on his problems, starting when he returns from one of his sojourns off the compound with Drew, a fifteen-year-old boy, brother of the woman Mouse appears to have claimed, even though he barely knows her.

  When Mouse tries to explain his unusual and immediate attraction to Mariana, his overwhelming desire to help her, I can fully understand. That was how I felt about Jayden, the first time I’d seen her. Seems men like us fall quickly, and hard.

  Drew, well, the lad seems to be okay. Just a few months shy of his sixteenth birthday. I’d like the kid better were it not that he’s so close in age to Jayden. I suppose it’s natural as two teenagers they’d be drawn to each other, Jay helping him settle in, teaching him to play pool with much hilarity as the kid takes a while to get the hang of the game.

  To start with, I watch them grinning, seeing Jay take pride in thrashing him time after time. But then I notice the looks Drew’s giving Jay are starting to get more than friendly. Jay won’t react, will she?

  But fuck me, she’s starting to flirt. It could be just a natural feminine response to someone who’s clearly showing an interest. But she’s mine. I begin to pay more attention to what they’re doing. Torn, because in my heart she belongs to me, but my head tells me I need to give her space. If her feelings for me have changed over time, I have to accept it. I’m unable to give in to my caveman instinct which is to whisk her away to my cave and claim her.

  “What’s got into you, Paladin?” Slick’s grinning as he comes over. But when I nod toward the two teenagers, their heads close together as they laugh about some shit or another, his eyes narrow too.

  “You going to give him the same warning you gave me, Slick?”

  “Fuck,” he says, under his breath.

  “Yeah, I know.” I shake my head. “Kills me to say it, Slick, but if she’s changed her mind about me…”

  The man who’s stood up and taken the role as her father, gives me a long look. “They’re almost the same age, Brother. Got things in common to talk about. School and that.”

  Which makes me feel no better. Have we grown apart? Is it reasonable to think she’s looking for someone who could understand her better? But how could anyone comprehend her more than me? I know all her secrets, and still want her.

  Slick’s hand lands on my back. “Came to find you. Drummer and I want to have a word.”

  Sounds ominous. Reluctantly, and with one last look at the pair who are animatedly discussing something, grinning and laughing while they talk, I follow him into Drummer’s office.

  Prez waves me to a chair in front of the desk, Slick sits beside me. I look from one to the other, noticing for the first time, the strain in Slick’s face. A cold feeling settles inside me.

  “Had word from Chaz, Prez of the Wretched Soulz. He’s heard another rumour the Herreras are ready to settle their score with us. This time it sounds serious. I believe him.”

  “They coming for us?” This wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

  “They want to hit us where it hurts. Word is they’re not preparing for an all-out battle right now, but their single focus is on Jayden.” Prez doesn’t try to sugarcoat it. “We knew it was on the horizon, know that they blame us, and her, for the massacre that night she was rescued.”

  Massacre is the right word. We’d hit and taken out five members of the notorious crime family. At the time, with the blessing of the head of the clan who used us to clean his own house. Now there’s a new leader, one whose views are clearly at odds with his predecessor’s.

  “Chaz is going to drop a hint to Los Zetas. There’s suggestions this signals the Herreras are getting back into the skin trade, which would step firmly on the cartel’s toes. But revenge might be too high up Javier’s list to stop anything he has set in motion. It’s time we think seriously about protecting her. She’s at risk, Paladin.”

  She is. We do what we can to minimise the danger. She’s never alone when she goes off compound, either I or a prospect take her to school and bring her home, but if they hit in numbers, one man isn’t going to stop them.

  “While Chaz thinks they’re not prepared to make a move immediately, I don’t know how long their patience will last. If they know she’s still in Tucson, I can’t, won’t rule out an attack on the compound.” Prez’s eyes have gone steely. “I’d like her gone. Then Chaz can let them know they’re wasting their time looking for her in Arizona.”

  “You think that will solve it?” Won’t they just keep trying to locate her?

  “Herreras are Tucson based so I think it’s a safe bet, once she’s out of state they’ll stop looking. It’s certainly better than us trying to wait it out with her here, not knowing when they might strike.” I trust Drummer. He wouldn’t feed me a line. If this is what he believes, I’ll go along with it.

  “I’ve spoken at length with Ella. Don’t want to uproot my ol’ lady now.”

  I nod at Slick, fully understanding. Ella must be at least six months pregnant. After a recent small bleed, the doctors are monitoring her pregnancy carefully. Not a good time for them to up root.

  “You’re resurrecting the idea of me taking her to Colora
do.”

  “Hellfire’s expecting you next week.”

  My jaw drops. Fuck, that came at me out of the blue. This is happening fast. Those things we’d spoken about a couple of months ago, now coming to fruition. Thinking about it hypothetically is one thing, now it’s set in concrete, I realise how much it will hurt losing my family here. I don’t know Hellfire at all. Only seen him in a few meetings. He and Drummer are very different, that’s for sure. What will it be like to have a new prez to answer to? New brothers to get to know?

  “Lot to lay on you, Paladin.”

  “I’m fine.” I reassure Drummer fast. “Jayden’s safety is all that matters to me.” I swallow, pushing down my personal regrets at leaving Tucson. “So, what’s the plan?”

  Chapter Nine

  Jayden

  A couple of months ago it was suggested that Pal and I leave the compound, up roots and settle in Colorado. When I first heard, it should have been a dream come true. The resolution of what everyone had expected forever, a chance for Paladin and I to be together. But here, in Tucson, I’d been cocooned, safe in the knowledge that Paladin wasn’t allowed to cross the line. In Colorado, there would be no one to prevent him. When the implications of that had sunk in, I’d realised I was unsure whether that was still what I wanted.

  I’d been forced to grow up early. Even at fourteen I knew the abuse I locked away in my head wasn’t right. After I’d had my innocence taken away, my first thought was to take back control. To be with someone I chose for myself. I’d latched on to the man who, in my eyes, had saved me, even after it was explained he’d only played a small part. I’d fixated on him, and was devastated when he’d explained that he couldn’t be with me in the way that I wanted, softening the blow by telling me he’d wait until it was time, for almost four years until I was of age.

  At first, I believed him. Had to have something to put my faith in after the hell I’d been through. Therapy had helped me slowly come to terms with the fact that while I’d been naïve, I’d been groomed by experts. What had happened wasn’t down to me, but was all on them. I hadn’t asked for, or encouraged it.