We're Just Friends

by J. P. Comeau

  I thought about Julianna and all of the nights we’d spent together. It was the best sex I’d ever had in my entire life, and isn’t that what every man wanted? A successful career and mind-blowing, toe-curling sex? It wasn’t as though I couldn’t find other women just as good as Julianna back in San Diego... right?

  Not in the bedroom, at least. I knew damn well that quality women like her were pretty rare in the city. Most of them were just after money.

  Deep down, I knew that I had matured from my playboy, womanizing days. To be honest, the thought of creeping for chicks just made me feel gross inside. I knew that I’d rather spend all of my free time with Julianna and Caley, not having parties with women whose names I didn’t even know.

  Yet, on the other hand, staying in River Valley would mean giving up everything I’d worked so hard for. “So, you’re saying that everything is ready to go in San Diego?”

  “Yes, sir. And the sooner you come back, the better. We can’t move forward without you physically here.”

  I tapped my pen against my forehead, thinking of what I should say. My company needed me, but I needed Julianna. More than I ever thought I would. Going into our relationship, I always knew that my feelings for her were more profound than what I’d had with other women.

  “Well, that’s great. I mean, we’ve wanted this project for so long, and I certainly don’t want to hold it up any longer. This is great news for the company.” I had to swallow my emotions for the sake of my employees and business.

  As I sat there listening to everyone else talk about the future plans, I wondered just how much I’d changed as a man. My employees were discussing how much money we’d be making, how we might even be able to go public with stock options. They said I’d soon be on my way to becoming one of the most successful businessmen in the world.

  “What you’ve done with this company is amazing,” one of them said into the phone. “And now it’s time to move forward.”

  “Absolutely,” I said.

  I thought I heard a noise in the hallway but ignored it when someone else started talking.

  “Is there a chance you can fly out tonight, sir?”

  I withheld a gasp. No way could I leave so soon, not after spending my very first night with Julianna and Caley. Not after the way she looked at me in her living room, searching my face for confirmation that I wouldn’t do to her what Cam did. I would be letting both her and Caley down.

  I began to wonder if I was a changed man. Just a few months before, I was the type of guy who would have said “adios” to any other woman but Julianna. Hell, I may have even just up and left town without even letting her know.

  “Sir?”

  “I’m just checking a few things,” I said to buy some time.

  Deep down, I knew that I would absolutely walk away from everything under one condition. That Julianna and I would never, ever break up. Just as I had built the company from the ground up, continually investing in security measures to make sure that absolutely nothing went wrong, I needed the same reassurance with Julianna.

  As someone relatively new to romantic relationships, I wasn’t even sure that was possible. All of my relationships were strictly physical.

  “Are the contractors willing to wait a week or two?”

  There was a long pause, and I felt knots tightening in my stomach. A week or two would give me just enough time to figure out what I wanted to do. If the contractors said no, then I wouldn’t have any choice but to immediately fly back to San Diego. I didn’t know how I’d even begin to tell Julianna if that were the case.

  “Let me send them a quick text, sir. One moment.”

  While everyone else continued to talk amongst themselves, I closed my eyes. I prayed they’d give me enough time to figure things out.

  “They said they’ll get back to us later on today. But sir, I really can’t express how badly we need you back here. I’m sure you’re having a good time in your hometown, but this is an opportunity that we can’t afford to miss.”

  I nodded in silence as others pitched in, detailing all of the reasons why I should come back immediately. The more they spoke, the more worried I became.

  I just needed to be reassured that Julianna and I were meant to be together.

  19

  Julianna

  After dropping Caley off for school, I drove over to Richard’s grinning from ear to ear. The first part of my day had been so rough, waking up and not seeing Jake next to me in bed. A wave of panic had washed over me, and even as I sat there watching him make pancakes with Caley, I still had some doubt in the back of my mind. As I pulled into his brother’s driveway, though, I found that little bit of doubt starting to wash away.

  Jake had been in town for a few months, and things were going great. Eventually, the trauma of what Cam put me through would dissipate, and I would no longer fear Jake leaving me. At least that’s what I told myself.

  As I walked up toward the mansion, images of the sex we had kept racing through my mind. I even had to do a little stretch before going up the stairs because he’d worn me out so well.

  Not only was Jake a changed and more mature man, but he had given me the best sex of my life.

  I peeked into the front window to see if Richard could see me. He waved from the couch and then let me inside. “Have you always been a peeping Tom?”

  “Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t have blinds up.” I grinned at him.

  “Who needs blinds with this kind of view?” He shut the door behind me, and I looked outside, nodding with appreciation.

  His entire front yard was like something out of a Monet painting.

  “That’s a good point. Any chance I could get something to drink?”

  He nodded and made his way into the kitchen.

  I stopped and oohed. “Is that the kind of refrigerator where you can see inside?”

  Richard tapped it, revealing neatly stocked shelves of bottled water and food. “It sure is. Out of all the rooms, décor, cars, the fridge is what gets the most attention in this house.”

  Both of us laughed as he reached inside and handed me a bottle of water.

  “Thanks,” I said. “Is Jake around?”

  “He’s in the guest house on a conference call. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you paid him a visit. That guy’s crazy about you.” I blushed and made my way out back toward the guest house.

  As I walked to the front door, I could hear Jake’s voice booming out of the office window. He kept saying things like ‘so the project is done’ and ‘new expansion.’ I suddenly felt lightheaded, but then pulled myself together. I didn’t want to keep having doubts about our relationship, especially since Jake had proven himself to be more of a man than Cam had ever been.

  I walked inside and quietly shut the door behind me, not wanting it to be so loud that someone on his call could hear it. I made the same effort while going up the stairs, too.

  Something told me that I needed to hear what was being said.

  “Well, since the project is over now, I really don’t know what’s going to happen. I suppose the most important thing is that I get back to San Diego.”

  I paused about halfway down the hallway and felt my heart sink into my stomach.

  Images of him from that morning raced through my mind. Caley had grown so attached to him, to the point where she even wanted him to tuck her into bed. I just couldn’t believe that everything was about to come to an end.

  I quietly slid my back down the wall in the hallway until I was sitting on the floor, just inches away from his office.

  “The sooner you come back to San Diego, the sooner we can move along with this new project, sir.” I closed my eyes as other people began speaking into the phone, encouraging him to go back soon so he could enjoy the San Diego ‘nightlife.’

  I wanted to cry into my hands right there in the hallway.

  I realized that me getting nervous that morning wasn’t just because of my history with Cam. My intuition had reminded
me that Jake had been in River Valley for quite a long time, so of course, he’d have to go back soon. That was precisely what I was afraid of. The way he was talking to his employees only reaffirmed my belief that he’d leave, too. It wasn’t the voice of a man who was in love.

  It was the voice of a bachelor who wanted to keep making money, not spend time with a single woman and her child.

  “I’m really looking forward to getting back there, especially since I’m not needed here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been great reconnecting with everyone and all. But man, do I miss San Diego. Especially the food.”

  Hearing Jake say those words made me want to crumble into a heaping mess on the floor. Why did I allow myself to be so vulnerable?

  “We all miss you, sir, and I’m sure Hillard misses partying with you.”

  I heard all of them laughing, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled myself together, walked in, and made my presence known. Our eyes locked as soon as Jake saw me, and I did my best not to look upset.

  “Okay, um, I have to get going, but everything sounds great.” He immediately hung up the phone and walked over to me.

  “Hey, I thought I’d stop by before I have to leave for work,” I managed.

  He wrapped his arms around me and leaned in for a kiss. My knees immediately became weak, and all I wanted to do was take him into his room and make passionate love. Yet, the harder he kissed me, the more I wanted to pull back and just crawl into bed alone.

  “I’m so happy to see you. Glad you stopped by,” he said.

  Even his voice did something to me, turned me into a hopeless romantic. How was your meeting? I didn’t mean to rush you off of the phone.”

  My voice was still low and quiet, hoping he wouldn’t know I’d overheard him talk about leaving River Valley. To my surprise, it didn’t seem to.

  He shrugged and took my hand. We walked downstairs and into the living room, sat down on one of the couches next to each other, and looked out the window. “It was okay. They were just updating me on some business plans.”

  I waited for him to tell me about having to go back to San Diego. And I searched his face for clues as to what he was thinking. Was he mulling things over, or was he dead set on returning and abandoning Caley and me?

  “Any big news?” He just shook his head no, leaned back and motioned for me to put my head on his shoulder.

  I obliged and let him stroke my hair as we sat in silence for a few minutes.

  “Are you hungry? We have time for an early lunch before you have to leave for work.”

  I was about to say no until my stomach let out a loud growl.

  Crap. I just want to be alone.

  “I’ll take that sound as a yes.” Jake laughed.

  It felt like I was acting in a slow-motion movie. My stomach was tight, and my chest physically hurt. Before I had a chance to fully process what was happening, Jake was driving us to a local diner, where we sat in a booth near the back. Both of us perused the menu in silence, and his stiffened shoulders made me think my uneasiness was catching.

  After we placed our orders, Jake started to tell me more about Pinnacle Production Company. He went into detail about expanding and growing it as a whole. I didn’t say much, though. I just sort of nodded and smiled at the appropriate moments. I kept waiting for him to mention going back to San Diego, but the more he talked, the more it became apparent that he didn’t want me to know just yet.

  “Are you alright? You’ve been awfully quiet since you came over.” He took a sip of his soda and waited for a response.

  My stomach was in knots. “Yeah, just thinking about stuff, I guess.”

  The look on his face told me that he had a suspicion I’d overheard his conversation. “What kind of stuff?”

  I couldn't play the game anymore, I wasn't built for it.

  I decided to just be upfront and honest. “Look, Jake, I know that you have to go back to San Diego soon. I overheard part of your conference call.”

  All of the color from his face drained, and I immediately regretted telling him. Maybe he would have come up with an excuse to not go and then told me, or perhaps he’d wait until the day he had to leave and then say something.

  “Oh,” he said and sat back.

  The air between us became tense and uncomfortable, but I didn’t want him to think of me as being needy or demanding. So, I put my shoulders back and pushed the emotion down. “No, it’s okay. I knew this day was coming. I mean… you have been in River Valley for a few months now, and I know you’d been working some from Richard’s place. So, tell me about this new project.”

  He struggled to speak for a few minutes, and I just sat there, swirling the straw around in my soda while ignoring the tense knots forming in my stomach. I wanted to come off as coolheaded as possible, and not go crazy on him like I did when Cam left.

  Of course, that was an entirely different situation.

  “You see,” he said, “there’s an opportunity for my company to expand that would be huge for us. I’m talking millions of dollars, but I’m needed there to oversee everything. So, that’s what the conference call was about.”

  Millions of dollars, I thought to myself. Anyone would be foolish to walk away from that kind of money.

  “Wow, that’s a great opportunity.” I didn’t know what else to say, so we just sat there for several minutes.

  His phone went off a few times while we continued sitting there, but he never made an attempt to even look at it. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but the fact that he was so quiet told me that he had to go back.

  “Well, yeah, I mean, I’ve invested so much, and this is exactly what we’ve been waiting for.”

  I’ve invested so much in you. What we have is what I’ve been waiting for.

  I wanted to say it out loud. To show him, there was more to life than just businesses and money. I wanted to shake him, screaming it.

  But I couldn't. I had to let Jake go.

  20

  Jake

  I could tell that Julianna was trying to put on a brave face, but deep down she was really upset by this news. “It’s not just an expansion, though. This would be a global expansion.”

  “Wow, that’s huge. I didn’t know you were looking to spread your wings that far.”

  I hated seeing her so visibly upset. I could see how she rubbed her arm, trying to console herself. But I also appreciated the fact that she was trying to support my business and me. A part of me was worried that she’d throw an adult temper tantrum, blaming me for leading her along all the while knowing that I’d have to leave. However, that wasn’t the case at all.

  “I just want you to know,” I said as the waitress put our food down, “that your support right now means so much to me. Believe me, I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed these past few months together. I was so worried that you’d be upset.”

  Julianna just poked at her french fries, casually taking a bite while smiling and nodding. I had hurt her, and that killed me inside. I kept thinking about my dad as we ate in silence, about how he always told me to focus on money first and love second.

  “I can’t be upset with you,” she said.

  I believed her, but I was upset with myself.

  “Please tell me that you still want to see me,” I said.

  Julianna looked up, and I noticed how she was fighting back the tears. She nodded and smiled, and I reached across the table to caress her hand. “Good, because you and Caley mean everything to me now. And I mean everything.”

  As we ate our food in silence, I thought about all of the work that needed to be done back in San Diego. Contracts, building permits, long conference calls, and more airplane travel. A year ago, that would have been the most exciting thing ever. Yet, as I sat there across from Julianna, it became painstakingly clear that it might be the most painful instead.

  “I can’t even begin to tell you how much you mean to us,” she said.

  I saw her look away and dab at her eye
s, but when she looked up, they were dry. Julianna was one of the strongest women I had ever known. I wanted to reach across the table and kiss her tears away, but I couldn’t. I was too invested in my company.

  “Well good, because Caley and I had so much fun making pancakes this morning.” My attempt at a joke made her smile a little bit, but not much.

  “Do you know what countries you’ll be expanding to?”

  “There’s talks about France and Sweden, but I’ll know more once I go back to San Diego. There’s so much that I have to sign off on and setup.”

  She took the first bite of her burger and barely chewed it. I was killing her inside, but she was so incredibly brave and mature, not wanting to insist I put our relationship ahead of my business.

  “I hear Sweden is a beautiful country,” she said, swallowing her food.

  “I’ve heard that too.” I gave her a half-smile.

  It felt like the people around us were watching, but it was probably just my nerves. I definitely didn’t want to have this conversation in public. If I’d had any inkling that she had heard my conference call, no way would I have invited her out for lunch. I would have stayed at the guest house and cooked.

  When the waitress came by to offer us refills, Julianna didn’t even look up from her plate.

  I waited for the waitress to leave, glancing up at Julianna, wanting to find a happy ground again. “So, who is picking up Caley after school since you’re going in late today?”

  Julianna told me how her daughter was spending the evening with Aunt Annie, but she didn’t say where they were going or what they would be doing. Just that Annie offered to watch Caley while she worked.

  “She kept talking about you all the way to school,” she said, sitting back in the booth.

  It was becoming more apparent that Julianna was absolutely devastated. Her brave smile had started to fade, and I was feeling more and more like an ass.