Christmas Promise
Page 6
“No,” James says firmly. “I would never cheat. Relationships fall apart…that’s a given. But I would never cheat. If my heart lay elsewhere, then I wouldn’t be in a relationship. Hearts break every day, Hazel. But cheating is cruel. It’s not something I would ever do.”
“It doesn’t matter. We know we’re working against the odds anyway. You’ve only kissed me a few times… What do you want me to say? That I think it’s a good idea to pursue something together? Because I don’t, James. I don’t want to open up to the possibility of a failed relationship.”
“You never know if you never try. My family’s company is expanding onto American soil. I’ll be traveling over here at least once a month. We would still be able to see each other. Isn’t that something?”
I waver. Maybe it’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe we’d flourish during our limited time together. From the look in James’ eyes, I can see that he wants me to agree with him. But the pessimist in me is already considering how much it would crush me if it didn’t work out. Even now that he’s offering me a lifeline, I’m too scared to take it.
James isn’t giving up, though. He slides his hands down my arms and threads his fingers through mine. The warmth of his hands is so enticing that I feel like he could ask anything of me and I’d say yes. But I have to stay strong.
“Let me take you on a date next month. I’ll buy you dinner in New York City. How does that sound? We don’t have to put any pressure on it for now. You can see how you feel in a few months. But that’s something, right? Don’t you think it’s worth giving this a go?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I’m worth this. I think you’ll realize sooner or later that you’re wasting your time on a girl like me. You could have anyone in the world, James. Chase someone who has the same sunny disposition as you. Chase someone who is close to home. Someone who can give you the world.”
“I don’t want anyone else. You just have no clue how wonderful you are, do you? You’re sarcastic…you’re beautiful…you’re passionate beneath all of your fears and uncertainty. And it’s alright to be scared. After what he did to you…hell, I don’t think I could deal with it. Jennifer never made me doubt the way she felt, and that was such a blessing. To be cheated on…I can see how it’s broken you down. But you need someone who is going to help you get back on your feet. I can be that man, Hazel. I want to be that man.”
There are tears staining my cheeks. I’m shaking beneath his touch, and I can’t bear to look him in the eyes. Is he telling the truth? Is there still a chance we can make something beautiful out of this?
“Please consider it, Hazel. I keep thinking about leaving you here…and it hurts. I don’t want to do it. I know you have so much to give. I know you care about me, even if the past few days have been a funny way of showing it. I know that you might not have fallen for Christmas like I hoped, but I think you’ve fallen for me, just like I’ve fallen for you. And to me…that’s more than I could have ever asked for.”
He squeezes my hands. “I’m not asking you to take a risk. I promise I’m not going to leave you alone. I just think we could have something together.”
“I want to say yes,” I murmur. “I do…I really do…”
James cups my cheeks, moving close to me. “So say it…say yes.”
I close my eyes. Do I really want to let this end without knowing how good we could be together? Don’t I want to continue growing, the way I do when I’m around him? This is a crossroads. This is my last chance with James.
When I open my eyes, he’s more beautiful than ever. It’s almost unnatural how lovely he is. But I blink twice and he doesn’t disappear. This man is real, and he’s here for me. He’s been trying to get through to me this whole time, and my guard has been up. What happens if I let go? What happens if I let him in?
I think it’s time to find out.
“Okay,” I whisper.
James blinks in surprise. “Did you say…okay? Is that a yes?”
I manage a small smile. “It’s a yes. Let’s give this a try.”
James’ face lights up with happiness. He laughs to himself and then pulls me into a long, tight hug. I hug him back, breathing in his scent, memorizing the shape of his body as I hold him. This is the last time for a while…but it’s not the end. We’re going to make this work. We’re going to try.
“You have no idea what a happy man you’ve made me, Hazel,” James murmurs in my ear. He pulls back to study my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I’m shaking as he holds me, wondering if my heart can handle the moment when he decides to kiss me again.
My heart stops for a moment, but survives the thrill as James’ lips meet mine. He’s so gentle, but I can feel how much he cares through the simple gesture. His hands explore me, but sweetly, softly, kindly. I’ve never had a kiss quite like it. I’m crying as he holds me, scared of him leaving, but also enjoying this moment, right now. It’s never going to be easy for him and me. I know that better than anything. But at least now, we’re not ruining our chances before we’ve given this a go.
And I know that this is the greatest gift the holiday season could ever have given me.
Epilogue
Christmas Eve has never felt so sweet. Waking up next to the love of my life in paradise is all I could ever have wished for. As I snuggle up to James in the bedroom of our chalet, snow begins to fall outside.
It’s still early, but the excitement for this day has kept me up for hours. I’ll be tired later, but we have so much planned that we can look forward to. Later, the chalet girls are allowing us free reign of the kitchen so that we can bake and build a gingerbread house together. My time here as a chalet girl taught me how, and now I want it to become another Christmas tradition for James and me. Last year, we kicked off our traditions by making our own Christmas cards together by hand. He did the drawings on the front of each personalized card, while I wrote the notes inside and put way too much glitter in the envelopes. But this year, I want to take it even further and make more memories together.
It’s been three years since we kissed for the first time in this very same chalet. It’s three years since I fell in love with him. Two years ago, James moved out to New York for work and to be close to me. We’ve been happy ever since, and he’s never given me a single reason to doubt him.
And of course, Christmas is spent here each year. It’s a tradition in his family, and they’ve welcomed me into their traditions as though I belong here. James has met my family a few times, but it’s clear where we belong. I’ve never been happier or in better company than when I’m spending time with his relatives.
Today will be the highlight for sure. I can smell the mince pies being baked in the kitchen right this second. I can practically taste the mulled wine. I can hear the sound of Christmas carols circling around in my head. Later, James’ parents will sit at the chalet piano and perform a drunken version of Good King Wenceslas to our great delight, and we’ll all fall into a deep sleep, ready for the big day tomorrow.
James stirs beside me. He still looks so quintessentially British right now in his pinstripe pajamas, a mug of tea abandoned at his bedside. I’ve never quite gotten used to my gorgeous British boy and being able to call him mine, but I count my blessings every day. I’m not the woman I was a few years ago. I’m not scared of him abandoning me anymore. He’s taught me that love isn’t about how long a relationship lasts. It’s about how you treat each other every day, working toward a happy future.
There’s no denying that it was hard to get to this point. I spent many months feeling jealous and suspicious of a man who did nothing but love me with all his heart. Now I can see that, and I would never deliberately doubt him again. He’s the one person who I can say has never let me down, and I know he plans to keep it that way.
He wakes up late, when the sun is high in the sky and the snow is falling thick and fast. He yawns and turns over to snuggle up to me, kissing my neck gently.
“Ha
ppy Christmas Eve,” he murmurs.
It’s nice to hear him say it, though for the past week he’s been saying the same thing with an added “eve” for every day left to go. I might have found it annoying if it was anyone else, but luckily for him, I’m too in love with him to find him annoying.
“Happy Christmas Eve, darling. Did you sleep well?”
“I did, as a matter of fact. I dreamed that something good would happen today.”
“Something good? Anything in particular?”
James taps the side of his nose smugly, smiling at me. He’s still half asleep, his face dopey as he pushes his curls out of his eyes. “Ah, well, that would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?”
“So mysterious,” I murmur as I lean in to kiss him.
He sighs into my lips. “I never get bored of waking up to your kisses.”
“That’s good. Because I’m starting to sense that you’re getting annoyed at waking in the middle of the night to the sound of me snoring.”
James laughs. “Oh no, Hazel. It’s all part of your undeniable charm. Besides, I snore too.”
“You? You can’t possibly. It’s not a very British thing to do.”
James rolls his eyes with another laugh. “I guess you’re bringing out the American in me. Speaking of which, my parents have been nagging me to organize a trip to England. Not to the family home, though. They want to show you around. Have you ever heard of the Cotswolds?”
“No, but say that again. It sounds fantastic in your accent.”
I get several minutes of mileage out of him repeating the word over and over, but eventually, he refuses to say it again.
“Enough! Let me say my piece.”
“Fine. Tell me all about the Cotswolds.”
“Well, it’s a rather lovely place to visit. It’s all rolling hills and greenery. There are lots of old buildings, cobbled streets, little tiny independent shops. It’s right up your alley, Hazel. You can bring your camera.”
That makes me smile. These past few years, I’ve managed to get back into my photography. In fact, it’s my job now. I relaunched my photography business. It was slow to begin with, and I had to work long hours at the supermarket to support myself at the same time, but after six months, I had enough customers to quit my other job and be a full-time freelancer. But even though my job takes up a lot of my time, I’m still obsessed with taking photographs wherever I go. I’ve managed to take some brilliant pictures during our time here at the ski resort.
“Well, I can’t pass up an opportunity to get some good photos, and I guess I can take time away from the business when I want. But I expect this place to be impressive.”
“Oh, it is. And I haven’t even told you the main selling point yet.”
“Spill.”
“It’s definitely worth mentioning. The Cotswolds sell pretty amazing cheese. Not only that, but they also have a cheese-rolling contest.”
“Say that again.”
“It’s true! People gather at the top of a hill and roll wheels of cheese down it once a year.”
“Okay, that’s crazy, and I absolutely love it. We’d better be there when the cheese starts rolling.”
“I’ll make sure of it.”
We chat about our upcoming trip as we get dressed and ready for the day. I always have something to talk about with James, even now when we’ve spent every hour of every day for two weeks together. He knows how to chat with a brick wall quite frankly, which is pretty admirable if you ask me. We don our big coats and grab croissants and hot chocolate to take with us on a walk. Our hands are freezing as we circle the mountain range, but when we’ve finished our pastries, our hands lock to one another’s and it keeps me warm enough.
Later, we head back to the kitchen and make gingerbread together. I know that James’ parents made their houses earlier, and competitive as they are, they want to compare theirs to ours and see whose is the best. It’s made me feel particularly determined to do a good job, so I leave James to his own devices and focus on making my own masterpiece. Proudly, I take the gingerbread from the oven and begin my construction quickly, piping intricate designs on each wall.
“I sense a competitive attitude in the room, and it’s not mine,” James comments.
I glance his way. He’s watching me with a huge grin on his face. He looks so good in his chinos and festive green sweater. Sometimes, when I watch him doing something as simple as leaning against a kitchen counter, I fall in love with him all over again. It’s hard not to when he’s so damn gorgeous.
“I kinda want to beat your parents,” I admit. “Where’s your house? You haven’t even started?”
“Oh, I’ve been working on something else. You’ll see in a little while. Keep going. I’ll show you when you’re done.”
I’m curious about what he’s been up to, but my competitiveness gets the better of me, so I return to working on my own house. Half an hour later, I stand back to admire it with a flourish. James wraps his arms around my waist from behind, looking at my house with an impish smile.
“Hm…not bad.”
I turn around to stare at him. “Not bad? Excuse me? It’s a work of art!”
“Well, I definitely wouldn’t go that far.”
“Hey!”
James laughs. “I’m kidding. It’s much better than my parents' houses, for sure.”
“Well, where’s yours? You promised to show me.”
“Why don’t you head over to the dining room? I’ll bring it there to show you.”
I narrow my eyes at James. “You’re acting strangely. What are you up to?”
“You’re so suspicious! Just go and sit down. Trust me…you’ll appreciate it in the long run.”
I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling. I’d never say no to him anyway. I head to the dining room, where the fire is hot and the room is quiet. I sink into the familiar sofa where James and I have spent so many hours together. It’s where we first formed a bond, and where so many of our best memories were both formed and reminisced. It makes me smile to think of everything we’ve shared here.
Now, James has followed me into the room. He’s holding something small in his hand, and the smell of gingerbread wafts into the room. I frown.
“That doesn’t look like a house.”
“It’s not,” he says as he sits down beside me. He shows me what he’s made, holding it out on the palm of his hand. It’s a box with a beautifully intricate design on the sides in white icing. The smell is enticing, but the thing that interests me most is on the lid. In beautiful cursive writing are the words open me…
My heart skips a beat. Is this what I think it is? I look up at James. He’s smiling at me, looking a little nervous. He withdraws the box for a moment.
“Before you open it, I want to say a few words. I know how you used to feel about Christmas. I guess you’ve had a complicated relationship with it. But these past few years, I’ve seen you fall in love with it all over again. I’ve seen how much you smile when someone opens a gift you’ve bought them, or when you tuck into your Christmas dinner. I know how much you love the snow and the roaring fires and the things they represent. So even though you once hated this day, I wanted to do this today…and make sure that Christmas Eve will always be special to you once again. I love you so much, Hazel. And today…I want to ask you the question that’s been playing on my mind since we fell in love. Now, open the box.”
I tentatively reach for the gingerbread lid and open it. Inside is a beautiful golden ring. It’s unusual in style, consisting of one band that loops around like the coil of a snake. On my finger, it would look like it’s twined around my finger for life. I count the number of swirls in the wedding band carefully.
“Five gold rings,” I murmur with a smile.
James grins back.
“Hazel…will you marry me?”
I stare into James’ eyes. All at once, I know that no other moment in my life compares to this one. I know that James is the person who is going to make me ha
ppy forever and always. I’ve never been more certain that this is what I want in my life.
“James…I will. But only if we have twelve drummers at the wedding. And eleven ladies dancing to walk me down the aisle. And ten lords a-leaping…”
James laughs out loud, picking the ring out of the box and sliding it onto my ring finger. Then we kiss by the fireplace, my engagement ring touching his cheek as we savor the moment, kissing like we’ve never kissed before. Our future lies together, and every second is a blessing.
My love for him is the strongest it’s ever been…
And so is my love of Christmas.
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