Shadows of Our Sins: (Shadow Purgers Series, Book 1)

by N. Phillips

  My wet eyes closed and my disgruntled consciousness faded. Hours passed until my eyelids opened again, and when they did, my head jerked back at the presence of my sister standing close to the bed.

  “Mya, what’s wrong?”

  She giggled before saying, “You’ve been knocked out all day. Did you skip school just to sleep?”

  “I wish. But how did you know I left?”

  “The principal called, but don’t worry. I told Mom and Dad not to punish you. They listened.”

  The words, they listened, was alarming. “Mya, you know as well as I do that Mom and Dad would never let me off the hook like that. Unless...” I leaned forward and asked, “Do you still have your ability?”

  She turned away. “Yes, but I didn’t want to use it; it just happened. I don’t know; I’m confused.”

  “Are you still... envious of me?”

  She looked back at me and sighed. “I guess so. Maybe a little bit?”

  “Mya, I told you my life isn’t easy. I experience a lot of things no one should ever go through, and having the power to see and fight demons is becoming more of a curse than a blessing lately. After what happened yesterday, I thought you understood all this.”

  “I do, but my feelings aren’t going to go away that easy. You got rid of the demon controlling me, but that’s only a start. I need time to get over things.”

  “And that’s why you still have power over Mom and Dad.” I got off my bed and approached her. “I get it. I’m sorry for rushing you out of your feelings and wanting everything to be okay so quickly. I should know that stopping a Shadow from influencing someone is only the beginning. It’s up to the person to battle their emotions on their own.”

  “That’s right, so let me be jealous of you until I’m over it,” she laughed out.

  We held one another until she was ready to walk out the room. “I’ll talk to you later,” she said, closing the door on her way out.

  Sitting back on the bed, my hand slid underneath my pillow where my cell phone was. After grabbing it and looking at the screen, my heart skipped a beat after realizing I had missed Lucas’s calls and text message.

  “Dammit.”

  I called his number and placed the phone near my ear, waiting to hear his voice. The ringing never stopped, though, and it wasn’t long until the voicemail played instead.

  Hanging up, I checked the text and saw one name in particular that caused a surge of anxiety to flow through my body.

  Robyn’s here. I need u 2 come by my house.

  I jumped off the bed, threw on my jacket, and sprinted down the stairs. My parents were already in their room, so no excuse for leaving was necessary. Still, my guilty conscience weighed on me as I walked out the house and ran through the quiet, suburban-like evening streets of Morris Park in the North Bronx, knowing full well I was still grounded. It wasn’t until I was outside Lucas’s house that he became the only thought in my mind.

  My knuckles tapped on the wooden frame until a deep voice on the other side of the door asked, “Who is it?”

  “It’s Aliyah,” I replied, hearing sounds of shuffling feet before the door was opened. The interior decoration inside was familiar, but the man standing in front of me was a shell of who I once remembered.

  “Hi, Mr. Stewart.” The forced smile on my face threatened to go away any second. There were dark circles underneath his droopy eyes and crumbs of leftovers in his scruffy beard.

  “Aliyah, long time no see,” he said, wiping the grease spot off his checkered shirt. “How are Richard and Marie?”

  “They’re fine.”

  “That’s good.” He trudged over to the brown sofa in the living room. “Lucas is out on the patio deck.”

  “Oh, okay. Have a good night, and take care of yourself.”

  My nose wrinkled at the scent of musk and booze that was sure to cling to my nostrils for the duration of the visit. When I reached the kitchen, my eyes landed on Lucas and Robyn through the glass door of the deck. They were standing a little too close for my comfort, causing my instincts to kick in and make me open the door.

  “What the hell’s going on?”

  Robyn icy glare was met with my own stony gaze as Lucas pulled me back into the kitchen. He closed the patio door and placed a kiss on my lips.

  “I’m happy you’re here. We need to talk.”

  I backed away and asked, “Why’s that bitch here? Does she think she can come over whenever she feels like it? No, what the fuck, Lucas? I don’t like this.”

  “I know, but Ali, we need to talk about something really important here, alright? It’s gonna be hard to explain it all to you, but I made a decision, and I wanna know if I’ll have your support.”

  “My support?” I snapped with my arms crossed. “Oh, you better not be saying what I think you’re gonna say.”

  He took a deep breath. “If it has anything to do with me wanting Robyn, then no. But the baby, Ali… Just here me out. This force, or whatever the hell it is that’s been controlling my life and making me miserable, has gotten out of control. But if there’s one thing that I do have power over, it’s what happens to that child once they’re born.” He exhaled one last time before uttering the words that shattered my mind to pieces. “So, I’ve decided I’m going to be the father of Robyn’s child.”

  His declaration could’ve sent me to another dimension, because it felt like time and space had altered and I was thrust into the twilight zone by his words alone. Nothing could free me from this world of despair. Nothing at all.

  “Babe, let me make it clear to you that Robyn has nothing to do with my decision. I have no feelings for her, and whatever choices I make are mine and mine alone. I know all this sounds insane, but—”

  “But nothing, Lucas,” I yelled before the flood gates opened. He tried to wipe the tears off my face, but I slapped his hand away. “I don’t understand any of this. That child, or whatever evil seed is in her stomach, is not yours. It’s not fuckin’ yours, dammit. I

  don’t care what she or a doctor said, the thing growing inside of her is not your responsibility. You don’t have to do this.”

  “I think I do, Ali. In some weird way, I feel like I’m back in control again. Like my actions matter, you know? All I need is for you to be by my side.”

  My head shook in disapproval as I spluttered words of hatred out my mouth. He tried to wrap his arms around me, but my fist collided multiple times with his chest until he backed off.

  “Is it really your child?” I begged in rage for him to answer. “Are you finally admitting the truth to me? That you had sex with her and this was all just some bullshit game?”

  “No. Please, just listen to me.”

  “Not until you tell me why.” I ran into his arms and cried more. “Tell me why.”

  “Because I’m tired of being a victim, and she’s not stable enough to raise a child on her own. I don’t want that kid to grow up without a father.”

  His confident and clear response tamed my aggression. I looked into his eyes while waiting for the next part of his reasoning.

  “I’m done being a pawn in this crazy game we’re in. I’m sick of it. In the past week, I was almost shot, I lost my best friends, I was sexually assaulted, I found out my music career has been a lie, and before all of that, I was labeled as a father by a girl I’m positive I never slept with.”

  His irate venting trumped my heartache, and I soon calmed myself to better soothe his fury. “Lucas, I don’t know what to say. I...” my words trailed off as I buried my face in his chest. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  “You don’t have to be. It’s not your fault. The world is screwed up, but I’m not gonna let it push me around. Can’t you see what I’m getting at, Ali? Taking care of this baby gives me power over whatever is trying to destroy my life. I’m gonna fight it and be a role model not just for a child that didn’t ask to be here, but for everybody going through the same thing.”

  A sense of understanding was coming
to me, and I no longer wished to argue against him. We’d work it out overtime.

  “Okay. Alright, Lucas. If this is your decision, I’ll support you. I won’t ever get along with Robyn or want her in our life, but I’m here for you. Only you.”

  “Thanks, I needed to hear that. I’m doing this for the baby, not her. She means nothing at all to me.”

  My head beat against his chest with a nod of agreement. “I believe you.” When our embrace was separated, both mine and Robyn’s eyes met through the glass door. “I need to have a word with her.”

  She wore a victorious smile on her face after I stepped out and approached her. My emotions were all over the place right now, but showing any signs of weakness to her wasn’t an option. I needed to be strong, stand my ground, and finally get the truth out of her.

  “If you’re coming out here to ask me if you can be the godmother, my answer’s no,” she jeered, shooing me away with a hand gesture.

  “No thanks. I purge demons, not babysit them. You think you won because Lucas agreed to take care of the child, but that doesn’t mean he loves you. I don’t care if there isn’t a Shadow manipulating you; I know you’re evil. It’s pouring out of you just like Cassandra Blackwood.”

  An expression of surprise flashed on her face. “Oh, you sensed her negativity? That’s interesting. Most people who’ve made pacts with demons aren’t so easy to detect.”

  Pacts with demons? What was she even talking about?

  She must’ve read the confusion written across my face, because she groaned and said, “God, you’re so clueless. Shadows are smart, and know our society very well. Instead of fully possessing someone with influential power, they’ll offer to make a pact. The exchange is simple: the person can keep their mind, body, and spirit as long as they use their aspiration for evil and influence others to do the same.”

  “And is that what you did?” I asked with a smirk. “Made a deal with the devil? Because I’m curious as to why I couldn’t sense your negativity when we first met. You must’ve had your desire manifested by then if you were able to see the demons on the roof that day.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Because I learned to suppress my emotions and conceal my dark thoughts, obviously. Can you imagine how many of those damn things would be stalking me if I was all in my feelings twenty-four seven?”

  “Yeah, and I wonder how you learned to block everything out like that. Wait, let me guess; the Black Mask taught you?”

  An even more shocked expression was plastered on her face. “How do you know about them?”

  “I have my sources. I also know it was you who started the rumors about Valeria after she died. So let’s cut the bullshit and start being real with each other, because I know you have more secrets you’re hiding.”

  “Ugh, whatever. And F-Y-I, I’m not a member of the Black Mask anymore. They helped me get rid of my Shadow and taught me how to block out my thoughts and emotions like the rest of them. That’s it.”

  My eyes narrowed at her. I was in full suspicion mode, and I wasn’t about to let up anytime soon.

  “What kind of desire did you have to create a Shadow in the first place?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she hissed before sitting in one of the two chairs on the patio and looking into the distance. She sighed before saying, “I wanted to kill every bastard in the world who was as evil as the guy who killed my son.”

  A gasp escaped my lips. “Y-your son… Right, Lucas did tell me you had a miscarriage.”

  “Okay, and? What, now you’re gonna think even less of me because I got knocked up at a young age?”

  “No, it’s just… Lucas also told me you were obsessed with having a child. What’s with this fascination of wanting a family so much?”

  She shot me a dirty look. “Why would I waste my time explaining it to you? All you’re gonna do is reject my reason and reply back with some righteous words of wisdom as if everything you say is law. Because that’s what you do, isn’t it? You’re so damn annoying, I don’t know how Lucas put up with you for so long.”

  She snickered and waved me off again with a sweeping hand gesture. I was getting nowhere, and her commentary and snide faces were starting to get under my skin. My only choice was to weasel my way in slowly until she opened up.

  “Fine, then can you tell me how you’re able to manifest that scythe weapon? Because nothing adds up with you. At all.”

  “You really wanna hear that story?” she asked, unsmiling. “Alright, I’ll tell it. I met a guy who I thought I was in love with. He treated me like I was special; hell, he cared for me more than anyone else did at the time. All of that changed when I got pregnant. He didn’t look at me the same anymore. He started to get physical. He even struck me mentally and emotionally if you know what I mean. I knew it was time to leave him and run far away. At least, that was the plan. Until something happened.”

  I sat in the chair next to her, fearful of what would be said next. “What happened?”

  “Oh, you should know. You played a part in it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “On what I planned to be my last day at Navelwood High, you let a deranged, heartless, abusive pussy into the school. He dragged me on the floor and almost beat me senseless because I broke up with him. All before he killed nineteen people that same morning; or should I say twenty, because I lost my son in that beating he gave me.”

  “Oh my God. Then the shooter was—”

  “Yeah. His name was Ryder Harrington. He was my boyfriend at the time. The same guy who you let walk into the school and murder innocent people. I know it was you who helped him get inside because I saw the surveillance video on the school’s security camera. You’re the reason why I lost my son. You’re a murderer, and Lucas deserves so much better.”

  The revelation of the school shooter left me speechless. A warm, painful feeling sat in my chest, and I wasn’t sure how much more my heart could take. Everything happening in my life was starting to tear me apart.

  “It’s madness, isn’t it?” she asked while laughing, though I was certain none of this was funny to her. “The irony of it all is baffling. The girl who caused me to lose my son was also dating the guy I loved the most. Talk about a tragic story, but hey, you wanted to hear it. Don’t sit there at a loss for words now.”

  I pondered whether to express my sympathy or walk away from the conversation. She continued speaking as I avoided eye contact with her, not wanting to reveal the few remaining tears I had left.

  “Hell, I still can’t forget the day I went with Lucas to the hospital to visit you. I wanted to go nuts and kill you right there, but I stopped myself after realizing it would be so much better to watch you suffer once Lucas and I were together with our child. It would be poetic justice at its finest.”

  My lips finally parted to speak. “Can I ask you something, Robyn? Did you transfer to Ravenvale High just to get back with Lucas and destroy my life?”

  “Yes. And you know what? I should be thanking your friend, Valeria. She made everything so much easier when she attracted those demons that put you in the hospital. Your absence allowed Lucas and I to fall back in love faster. So even though Doctors had told me I was infertile after Ryder’s assault, I still managed to desire a child. And now look; it’s actually happening.” She looked down at her belly and smiled.

  She had revealed that she did in fact wish for Lucas’s child, though I don’t think she realized it because she was too caught up in her gloating. Nonetheless, I got out my seat, wanting to walk away, but not before saying one last thing.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.” My words snapped her out of her admiration. She wasn’t expecting that sort of response, and she didn’t expect me to start walking away as I did.

  “You should be sorry,” she retorted, causing me to stop in place with my hand on the patio door handle. “But if there’s one good thing you did; it was giving me a sense of purpose. After the shooting at Navelwood High, I understood what it fel
t like to truly hate someone. I felt driven to kill every last person walking on this damn planet who was evil, psychotic, and spineless like him.”

  Her story was heartbreaking, but I couldn’t resist the urge to turn back around and voice my own stance on her reason to kill.

  “Like I said, I’m sorry about what happened, but going after people who aren’t perfect isn’t the right thing to do. Everyone has some sort of negativity in them, some more than others. But that’s no excuse to judge them.”

  “Oh, what the hell do you know? Sinful people need to die; it’s as simple as that. I won’t let another person like that rotten, low-life scumbag get away with doing whatever the hell they want. You can continue on with your little light show and trying to save people that can’t be saved. I’ll be the one to actually change society for the better.”

  “No, the only thing you’re gonna do is lessen the population whenever you feel like being the grim reaper. Death doesn’t solve anything; it only makes things worse. Unlike you, I want to make the world a better place, not kill it because everything isn’t sunshine and rainbows.”

  She got out her seat and stepped in my face. “Wow, you’re such a hypocrite. The sad part is, there’s probably a ton of people like you running around in different parts of the city. The difference between me and all of you is that I’m eliminating the threats, not brainwashing them for a day or two until they go back to committing the same sins all over again.”

  “Maybe you’re right, but taking someone’s life is not the answer to the problem. And you know what else? I’m sick and tired of people thinking I’m entitled and overprivileged just because I live in a nice area with my family and have a freakin’ boyfriend. I might not be oppressed or have gone through experiences like yours, but I’ve seen the types of troubled individuals my dad talks to as a social worker, and I’ve seen the criminals my mom put away as a prosecutor. I want to do my part as a human being and help those who are suffering. I don’t need to endure cruel hardships firsthand to understand how screwed up society is. It’s all around me, and I want to put an end to it.”