The Tulip Terror

by C L Bauer

  Lily sighed in despair. Of course, the demented wedding coordinator was right, but what an awful world this was that it was true. “Do you want something to drink? I know I need something.”

  “That would be lovely. I usually like a vodka on the rocks with a lime twist. A shot of Perrier would be divine.”

  “How about a glass of water on the rocks?”

  Gretchen looked up to see Lily’s face. She was slightly afraid of the little florist. The look on her face was indescribable, perhaps between a jilted lover and an angry mother baboon.

  “I suppose that would do.” It was best not to irritate. Lily probably wouldn’t have the good vodka anyway.

  Lily returned in a few minutes with two glasses of water filled with ice. She placed them on the table in front of Gretchen. She left again and returned with a bottle of very good vodka. Gretchen was impressed.

  “Drink the water first and then you can pour the vodka over the ice. I’m not going back to the kitchen for another glass.”

  Gretchen eyed the bottle. The girl had taste. “Yes, mother. Thank you, mother.”

  Lily heard the tone and understood it’s meaning. Surprisingly, she wasn’t afraid of Gretchen’s power in the wedding world any longer. She was just a woman, not a demigod. Gretchen couldn’t hurt her. Actually, she could hurt her business, but Lily just didn’t care anymore, not on a day like today.

  “Gretchen, you came over here. I didn’t ask you. It’s been a long, awful day as you well know and have spread all over the city by now. What are you doing here?” Lily had already downed her water and was pouring the good stuff over the ice.

  “I thought you might need to talk to someone. That’s it.” Gretchen continued to drink her water, her eyes peering at Lily over the rim of the glass.

  Now Lily was completely suspicious. She squinted to see a woman who seemed concerned. “It was strange today, but why would I need someone to talk to?”

  Gretchen set her glass down and poured the vodka. She took a sip and sat back on the sofa. She kicked her stilettos off under the table and lifted her legs up to get more comfortable. The woman was flexible, Lily thought. She knew Gretchen talked about yoga, but maybe she did actually go to a class or two.

  “I remember a few years ago you had a wedding at Loose Park. You didn’t get back in time before your dad died. I just thought you might want someone to talk to tonight. I figured Dev was out, wherever out is.”

  Again, the woman really did know everything that happened. Lily saw a softer version of the wedding coordinator terrorist. She was just a woman sitting across from her, emanating her own form of compassion. It was a new look for Gretchen, one that Lily didn’t quite understand or believe.

  “It’s only the afternoon, Gretchen. You won’t be here until tonight.” Lily took a very large drink and finished the vodka.

  “I have time. Have you talked to Mr. Delicious?” And she was back.

  “I texted him, but he didn’t need to know what happened. Abby was really upset.”

  “And you went into boss lady mode, good in a panic situation, didn’t you?”

  Lily reached for the bottle once more. She usually didn’t drink this much, especially vodka. Gretchen did make her drink over the years. Usually it was over some insane demand she placed on her the day of a client’s wedding. Today was completely different. Actually, Lily didn’t know what to think.

  “Everything was moving along as well as they could until Peter Court began singing Danny Boy. The man who died was named Dan. Everyone lost it. Of course, his wife ran out; Abby escaped from the church and even Father McKenzie was having a hard time. It was absolutely awful. Not like when Dad died. I mean, my client didn’t even know he was ill. I just don’t tell the brides that kind of stuff.”

  “Always little Miss Professional. That’s what I like about you,” Gretchen admitted.

  This day just kept getting weirder and weirder. “So, what are you really doing here, Gretchen Malloy?”

  Now Gretchen was the one taking a rather large drink and refilling her glass. At this rate, the two women were going to need food soon.

  “I was having a bad day,” Gretchen said softly. “I didn’t know who to talk to, and I didn’t want to go back to an empty apartment. Satisfied?” She pursed her lips smugly.

  “So, you thought of me? Nice; weird, but nice.” Lily could see the room spinning. Darn, she’d forgotten to each lunch. Now she didn’t want to eat; she was very thirsty. “What happened to you?”

  “My sister died.”

  Lily sat up in her chair, looking straight at Gretchen. She’d said it so calmly. What was wrong with that woman?

  “Good God. Were you at the hospital? Is she out of town? How? Why?”

  “Always the caring person, aren’t you? You just can’t turn it off, can you? What is that man going to do with someone like you? You really can’t be that good,” Gretchen said calmly then added, “Or maybe you can?” She studied Lily’s face. The woman didn’t have a wrinkle anywhere. The woman worried about each and every detail, but she had no worry lines. Lily was the consummate good girl. Perhaps she was for real. No, Gretchen thought. No one could ever be that nice, that good. But there was something about her.

  “Your sister, what about her?” Deflection seemed to work very well with Gretchen.

  “She didn’t die today. It’s the anniversary of her death. It’s been years, but today when I heard what happened at the wedding, well, she died the same way.”

  “Car accident?”

  “Yes, on a one-way street and a drunk driver was going the wrong way. But you see, my baby sister was headed to her own wedding. It was a beautiful day, just like today. When I heard about your wedding --” Gretchen’s voice trailed off.

  Lily’s hand was across her mouth, stifling a very loud gasp. “On her way to her own wedding? Good heavens, Gretchen, I’m so sorry.” How did the woman go to all those weddings, plan all of them with those kind of memories?

  “You see, Lily, I know what I am. I’m over the top, lascivious and very loud and egotistical at times.” Lily narrowed her eyes in disbelief. “Alright, most of the time, but I plan those weddings for my sister. I plan the wedding she never had. Although it is difficult for that couple today, I’m happy they went forward and didn’t allow death to triumph over love.” Gretchen drained the vodka bottle of its last drops of liquid. “I didn’t want to be alone, Lily. I didn’t want you to be alone. Dearie, we need a bigger bottle.”

  And Lily laughed, straight out loud until she snorted. “Is that kind of like Dallas, we have a problem?”

  Gretchen laughed out loud. A hiccup surprised her. Both women were laughing together. “It’s Houston, Lily, not Dallas.”

  Lily grabbed her head in an attempt to stop the spinning. “I need food. I’m ordering pizza. What toppings do you want?”

  “Pizza? I haven’t eaten pizza since Clinton was in the White House. Order what you like. Do they have carb-free?”

  Lily stumbled over to her cell phone on the desk. “There is no such thing, well I guess you could have cauliflower crust, but when you eat pizza, you eat pizza. I’m getting everything on it.”

  Gretchen toasted her. “To everything! Do they deliver vodka too?”

  Chapter Five

  “Who’s cute little boy are you?” Gretchen asked as she answered the door. She examined the unsuspecting teenager as a shark looks at a tarpon right before the animal devours the other. “Lily, did you order me a man, well a young, young man?”

  Lily ran from the kitchen but not quick enough. Gretchen had the young pizza delivery boy by the hand, leading him into the living room. “Drop the nice boy, Gretchen. Drop his arm right now and step away.” Geez, it was like entertaining Mort again. The dog used to bring muddy squeak toys into the house. It was a challenge to stop her before she reached the wood floors and Lily’s favorite rug. She’d yell drop it, but many times it took a full hug around the dog’s ample body to make her behave. Hopefully, it woul
dn’t come to that with Gretchen.

  “He’s young, but they all have the same anatomy.”

  Lily pushed Gretchen out of the way. She handed the money to the confused young man and sent him on his way. Shutting the door she leaned against it with the pizza box in hand. “You scared him. The poor boy may be traumatized for the rest of his life. Same anatomy, really Gretchen?”

  “I prefer to think that he’ll have pleasant dreams of a slightly older woman who thought he was an attractive man.”

  Lily’s eyes were getting over-exercised; eye rolls were an hourly occurrence while in the presence of Ms. Malloy. Was there an Olympic event for eye rolling? “You keep telling yourself that. Come on, we both need to eat something.”

  Lily set the box on the coffee table and gathered up two plates and napkins. Gretchen looked at the set up and then at Lily. “You want me to eat without a knife or fork?”

  “It won’t kill you. Fine, I’ll get you utensils.” Lily proceeded to the kitchen, again. “The woman has to have a knife and fork,” she muttered, scrunching her nose in disgust. “Geez, she’s not the queen.”

  Lily turned around right into Gretchen’s ample bosom. She was eye level at them, a sight she could’ve gone without today, heck for her lifetime. “What?”

  “It’s Italian. I must have wine.”

  Lily leaned her head back on her shoulders. “You must not. We’ve already downed one bottle of vodka, and we are into our second. It’s not even dinner time yet. You don’t need wine.”

  It was too late. Gretchen was searching through Dev’s stash of red wines in the corner of the open cabinet. “This will do.” She presented it to Lily. “Open.”

  Maybe Gretchen was the queen. She certainly acted like it. “You’ll have to explain to Dev why this bottle is missing. I don’t drink reds.” She reluctantly took the bottle, opening and pouring one glass of it for her unwelcome guest.

  Gretchen, wine in hand, sauntered back into the living room. “Oh, I’ll explain it to that delicious man.”

  Lily finally took a bite of pizza. Now this was a taste that was intoxicating. She’d ordered everything on it, including any and all meats. She savored every bite.

  “Why do you call him delicious? Pizza is delicious. Doughnuts are delicious. So many other food items are delicious, but Dev is not.”

  Gretchen was now savoring a food she hadn’t enjoyed in many years. She lifted sauce from her face and then licked her finger. “Yes he is.”

  Lily shook her head. I’m never winning against Gretchen.

  “I’m not going to argue with you. Do you notice him, really look at that man? His hair is phenomenal, full and healthy. His skin isn’t weathered. He must have used sunscreen in the Army. Teeth are good, shoulders are dynamite. Oops, forgot those eyes. I mean, really, Lily, those eyes!”

  Lily smiled shyly. “They are nice, aren’t they?”

  “Do you want me to continue?”

  “No, I can imagine what you’re going to say about his body.”

  Gretchen laughed loudly. It was time for another drink of wine. “Well, what part do you like the most and don’t tell me his darn personality.”

  “His laugh?”

  Gretchen threw a napkin in her direction. “Spill. What is it? What have I missed?”

  “I am fond of those shoulders but that chest.” Lily sat silent for a few minutes.

  After all the action was finished in Key West earlier this year, and Garrett Notte was finally arrested thanks to her actions, Lily and Dev had stayed a few days in Miami. After her special DEA agent was debriefed, they had just spent time together, but Lily’s favorite time, which she would not admit to anyone, was watching Devlin Pierce swimming and laying by the pool. Sweaty or wet, her future husband was a sight to behold. She would never tell Kansas City’s number one gossip anything about that trip

  “Ah hah. I knew there was a little lust in your heart. I can see you are thinking about that rather nice chest. I remember the day I dropped in on you two playing house, when he was mowing the lawn and he was all sweaty.” It was Gretchen’s time to be speechless. “I’m sure he has a great personality.”

  Lily’s self-induced trance was broken. “Yes, and he’s very smart. Gretchen, I have to tell you that we laugh so much together. His best trait is his thoughtfulness, his heart. He could look like the nicest nerd in the world and I would still love him.”

  Gretchen’s brow rose. “But isn’t it a bonus that all that goodness is housed in a nice package and you get to play house with it?”

  “I’m not complaining. I don’t understand it, but I’m not going to throw him away.”

  “If you do, throw him in my direction. And if you ever do, I will wonder what in the world is wrong with you.”

  Lily reached for another piece of pizza. “I was going to walk away just a few weeks ago.”

  That statement made Gretchen set her wine glass on the table. “Shut up. You did not.”

  “I did.”

  “Details, my little child who doesn’t know a good thing when she has it.”

  Obviously, Lily couldn’t tell Gretchen all the details, but after an hour of back and forth questions, arguments and storytelling, the wedding coordinator was painting a clearer picture of Lily Schmidt in her mind.

  “Let me get this straight, Lily, you didn’t think you were good enough for him still?” Gretchen emphasized the last word of the question.

  In between all the storytelling, Gretchen had wandered into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of red wine. She’d explain it to Dev later. She needed it right now, actually, she didn’t need the liquid as much as she needed to straighten out the curly-haired wedding florist. Humidity really did a number on her hair! Something must be done about that.

  “Yes.”

  Gretchen’s mouth gaped open. “You aren’t going to deny it? Lily, what an unmitigated idiot you are. I told you before that he loved you and that ring is certainly no small indicator that I was completely correct.”

  “I know, and now I know that this is for real. We’re still not sure how or when we will live together, but I know he loves me and I know how I feel so I’m trying to get over that little insecurity.”

  “Little?” Gretchen muttered into her glass. She took her drink and then reached for one more piece of pizza. “And I’d be figuring out how I was going to live with that man, the sooner the better, before some other woman figures it out.”

  “I know but --”

  “Don’t but me,” she snickered. “That was funny, don’t but me.” She composed herself and continued. “Don’t tell me you have to be married first.”

  Lily grimaced.

  Gretchen threw her hands up. “Lord, Lily, morality be damned.”

  “I don’t think it works like that, Gretchen.”

  “Well, then we better get you married. What do I need to do to make sure you both end up sleeping under the same roof, preferably in the same bed?”

  At that point, Lily needed more alcohol. She might not make it to church tomorrow morning and it would all be Gretchen’s fault. She thought God would probably understand that excuse.

  She headed into the kitchen and grabbed a half full bottle of white moscato. Yikes, vodka with a sweet wine? How could Gretchen drink that red after what they’d already imbibed? Perhaps her stomach was larger and stronger than the ordinary human? She was indeed made of cast iron, except she thought she had heard empathy, compassion and sorrow when she spoke of her sister. Maybe Gretchen had a teeny, tiny heart like the Grinch? Maybe it could grow ten times larger in a pinch? Lily laughed to herself. She’d just rhymed.

  When she rounded the corner, Gretchen was moving the pizza box over and grabbing the channel selector. “You have anything good on this thing?”

  “It depends. How long are you staying?”

  “Long enough to figure out how to get you married.”

  Lily had a bad feeling. Gretchen might just be her bestie, God help her. She might never get rid
of her.

  “You have any porn on here?” Gretchen smiled as she looked up at her.

  Before Lily could answer, her computer rang. It was a video call from Dev. Gretchen was like Mort. Her head was straight and questioning, looking at the direction of the sound. Daddy’s here!

  Lily hit the button and clenched her body around the screen so Gretchen couldn’t see.

  “Honey, I can only see your shirt. Pull back a little.”

  “Is that Devlin?” Gretchen managed to get up from the sofa and scoot Lily over on the chair. There really wasn’t enough room for the two of them, but Lily couldn’t move an immovable object, yet. The woman might end up on the floor.

  “Hello, Dev, Mr. Delicious,” she yelled at the computer.

  Lily held her head with her left hand. He never called her when she wanted him, but this time his timing was way off. “Gretchen is here. Can you tell?”

  She could tell that Dev was completely taken off guard. “Um, yes. Hello Gretchen. What are you doing there?”

  “I’m spending time with my best girlfriend in the entire world, silly.”

  Dev smiled. Lily could tell he was trying to find the right words. Well, there just weren’t any.

  “I hope you ladies are having a good time.” Now Lily smiled. Dev Pierce was utilizing one of his best traits, avoidance. Lily nudged Gretchen, thinking she’d topple onto the floor, but she was like a stiletto in a grate...stuck.

  “How are you?” As soon as Lily asked the question, she realized Dev was dressed in fatigues or whatever they called them now. “And what are you doing?”

  She heard an airplane flying overhead. It looked like he was in a hangar somewhere. The large door behind him was open and it was pitch black. She saw lights from a tower and a distant lit runway.

  “I’m getting ready to fly out. I wanted to talk to you before I left. It’s probably going to be awhile, maybe all summer before I’m back in the States.”

  Gretchen and Lily looked at each other. Surprisingly, Gretchen removed herself and headed to the kitchen.

  “Are you in uniform?” Lily couldn’t stop the cracking of emotion in her voice. Darn. She gets the guy and he ships out.