by Nissa Leder
Elaine wipes her brow. “The more we practice, the easier it will hopefully become.”
“Doing it on our first try today after our last attempt is amazing.” Natalia lifts her hand and gives everyone a high-five.
“Bad ass,” Van says as our hands collide.
“I think that’s enough for today.” Elaine pushes herself from the ground. “Another practice next Monday?”
“Sure thing, boss.” Van hops up and reaches a hand out to Natalia. “You still cool with sharing your Magical History notes with me, Garrett?”
Garrett brushes the grass off of his butt. “Yeah, they’re in my room.”
“We can pick them up right now,” Van says as he grabs Natalia’s hand.
I have to admit I never thought they’d still be together. Sure, they broke up for a while. But I don’t think the break lasted as long as they pretended it had. I can’t really blame them. If Elaine thought they were back together when we were prepping for the end-of-the-year battle, she would have freaked. Not that there was much she could do.
The three of them all take off, leaving Elaine and me behind. She stands and pulls her cell out of her pocket. She reads something, sighs, then sticks it right back into her jeans.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
She starts walking back to the academy. “I’d asked Beck to hang out tonight, but he said he has too much studying to do.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Beck is a bit of a nerd like that.” Which shouldn’t bother Elaine, since she is too.
Halfway across the field, she stops. “I think he’s cheating on me.”
“My brother? The guy who won’t even glance around a classroom when taking a test so he doesn’t accidentally see someone else’s answer?” Sometimes his righteousness drives me crazy, but it makes me doubt that he could be hiding a secret relationship from Elaine. “Oh, well, actually.”
He might not be having an affair with another girl, but he has been keeping something from Elaine. I thought he’d have told her about him belonging to the Mystics by now. I honestly can’t believe he kept it a secret at all. It isn’t his style.
“I’m right. There is someone else.” First, sadness washes over her face. Then anger.
“No, he isn’t cheating on you,” I say, realizing I’m handling this all wrong.
“Then what is it?” Her arms are crossed in front of her chest and she’s glaring at me harder than she ever has, which is saying something. For once, her angry look isn’t actually aimed toward me.
“I didn’t find out until the beginning of the school year, and I thought he was going to tell you right away.” Being the bearer of bad news sucks. And it isn’t even that he’s part of the stupid society that’s the bad part. It’s that he’s been hiding it from her that will hurt her. “Beck is a member of the Mystics.”
“The Mystics? That stupid,” she brings her fingers into air quotes, “secret society people are so obsessed with?”
“That’s the one.” I can’t help but laugh at her opinion of them. Elaine and I have many differences, but this is something we agree on. “They aren’t really supposed to tell anyone that they belong.”
“Then how do you know?”
“Well, I was invited to their beginning-of-the-year party as a prospect. They were all wearing masks, but I recognized his ring. It was a gift from my dad.” For being so smart, my brother really should have thought through his choice in accessories.
“So, you’re a member too?”
“God, no.” I shake my head, a little too enthusiastically. “I mean, I didn’t get an invite. But I wouldn’t have joined anyway. It isn’t really my thing.”
“He was wearing a mask. So, that means he was already a member. Which means this isn’t a new thing for him.”
“No, sorry. He mentioned he joined the beginning of second semester last year.” After Sebastian left and Jake took over as Mystic Master. All stuff I know, but can’t say.
Elaine’s tongue moves across the front of her teeth as she processes everything. It’s her go-to stress mannerism. One she’s done since we were kids.
And it isn’t a good sign for Beck.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” I say. The last thing I want is to be part of the drama between her and my brother, but we’re friends. And I feel like an ass for hiding this from her, even if I didn’t mean to. “He should have told you sooner.”
She huffs and her body relaxes. “It isn’t your fault your brother doesn’t think I’m important enough to share things with.”
“I don’t think…” I start, then stop. Somehow I’m getting sucked further into this than I want to. “Just talk to him. I don’t agree with him keeping it from you, but Beck is a good guy. Just a stupid one sometimes.”
“So, did you hear about the Carmichael social coming up?” Elaine says then continues toward the academy. Clearly, she wants to change the subject.
I jog to catch up. “No, I’ve been a bit caught up with classes.” Partly true.
“We are invited to a Halloween social there. They’ve invited all three elite academies to mingle in order to create harmony in the Sorcery world.”
“Ha. Like that’s possible,” I say. “Schools that labeled us ‘Wicked Academy’ aren’t exactly the epitome of friendly.”
“But hey, it’s a chance to dress up and have fun. Beck and I were going to go as Bonnie and Clyde, but who knows if he’ll even be able to go.”
“You’ll figure it out.” I smile, hoping it’s reassuring. “Guess I better start thinking about what costume I want to wear.”
Halloween is my favorite holiday. There’s no way I’m going to miss a chance to dress up and drink, even if it means dealing with students from the other schools. Who knows, maybe I’ll run into my friends from Bradford.
Later that evening, Callum stops by my room with a large bag of more poppy berry hidden inside a sweatshirt.
When we’re inside my room with the door shut, he says, “I think you need to be careful, but I was able to find a stash in the Healing wing.”
“I’ve never felt more like a druggie,” I joke.
He doesn’t laugh. “These are every bit as dangerous as drugs, Wren. Probably even more dangerous.”
“I’m not taking them recreationally,” I say. “The visions are dangerous, and if this tea keeps them away, then I have no choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“Says the person who brought me the herbs in the first place.” I cross my arms and give him my best look-who’s-talking look.“If I keep having visions and anyone else finds out, I’ll have no choice when they kick me out of Wicklow.” I grab the bag of the herbs and put it in the drawer next to the one I already have. “I just need to figure out the right dose.”
He slumps his shoulders, likely realizing it’s stupid for him to expect me not to take them. “I’m going to check on you every night.”
“An excuse to see me.”
He smirks. “That will be an added benefit, but someone has to make sure you’re doing okay. Drugs that mess with your mind keep you from being a good judge. If they start to affect you in a bad way, you won’t even notice.”
“That’s why I have you.” I lean back into my dresser, ignoring the pain of the edge jabbing into my back.
“Well, you seem okay for now, so I better go.”
“See you tomorrow.”
When he’s gone, I relax and move away from the dresser. Us being alone every night isn’t the best idea, so why am I so happy about it?
Twelve
The herbs work perfectly. I cut my daily dose in half from the first try and it keeps the visions away for the entire week. Shortly after drinking a cup in the mornings, my mood lifts, but not enough to make me do anything crazy. And honestly, a little bit of a happiness boost has felt pretty great.
As promised, Callum checks in on me at night, but we keep the door open. He asks how things are going, a vague way of asking if I’m having any visio
ns or any crazy side effects, and I inform him things are fabulous.
The longest he’s stayed is ten minutes, which has helped us keep up our boundary as friends, but has also been a little disappointing.
The weekend comes, and Elaine, Natalia, Olivia, and I decide on a girls’ afternoon before the fall bonfire. We all meet in Olivia’s room, where she has chocolate-covered strawberries and four glasses of sweet wine waiting.
“We are going to look hot tonight.” She heads out of the bathroom with a basket of makeup in one hand and a curling iron and straightener in the other.
Natalia takes the role of makeup artist and Olivia rocks as hair stylist.
Elaine sits on Olivia’s vanity bench and faces the window while Natalia starts her makeup.
I sit on the desk chair next to her but facing the opposite way while Olivia straightens my hair.
“Okay, time for some girl talk,” Olivia announces. She glances at the door and it shuts. “No need for any eavesdroppers.” She pulls most of my hair up and gets to work on the bottom layer. “Let’s get right into things. Favorite sex position?”
Natalia and I laugh while Elaine doesn’t react.
“I’ll go first,” Natalia says. “I like Wheelbarrow.”
“Wheelbarrow?” Elaine asks.
“Yeah, the guy grabs the chick’s legs and she holds herself off the ground like she’s a Wheelbarrow.”
“How tiring,” Olivia says. “I’m a doggy girl myself.”
“It sort of depends on the guy,” I say. “But being on top is a good go-to for me.” An image of Sebastian staring up at me hits me and I swallow.
“Elaine?” Natalia asks and pauses on her makeup.
“Um, I’m not really a sex position connoisseur, but in the shower is fun.” She glances at me and her cheeks flame.
The others don’t know that her one and only sex partner has been my brother. Which isn’t something she should be ashamed of, but how many people she’s slept with isn’t anyone’s business.
“Okay, my question. If you had to go a year without sex or coffee, which would it be?”
Olivia steps away from my hair. “What kind of world would ask that of me?”
“A harsh one.” I twist to see her horrified look.
“Define sex,” Natalia interjects. “Anything with the word sex attached to it or are oral and anal acceptable?”
I hadn’t anticipated it to be such a complicated question. “Well, I considered myself a virgin after giving and getting oral, so we will say going down is acceptable. But anal requires thrusting, so we’ll outlaw it for the purpose of this question.”
Natalia ponders my answer.
“No sex.” Olivia glances at her coffee machine. “I couldn’t part with Alejandro.”
“You named your coffee machine?” Elaine asks.
“ Of course I named him. He’s almost as important to me as Jake.” She steps back to me and turns my head with her free hand. “Natalia?”
“I think I’d have to let my espresso go.” She sighs. “Van could live on blowjobs, but they’re so much more work.”
Elaine blushes again. “I’ve never…”
“You’ve never given head?” Olivia asks.
“I’m not as…experienced…as all of you. Beck was my first.”
“Oh, wow.” Natalia grabs a couple of lipsticks from the basket. “Well, I didn’t care much for giving blow jobs at first, but they can actually be quite fun.”
“This conversation is fun and all, but I don’t want to go anywhere that might make me picture my brother’s penis in someone’s mouth,” I cut in. “How about we switch games.”
The other three girls all laugh.
Olivia sticks on her girls’ night playlist while we all finish getting ready.
An hour later, we all head to our own rooms to get dressed then meet at the stairs.
Elaine is there first, dressed in jeans and a green sweater. “I tried to convince myself to wear something a little more fun but I’m not exactly feeling the urge to look amazing.”
“Is everything okay with you and Beck?” I ask. Since it’s a bonfire outside, I decided against wearing a dress. Instead, I picked black skinny jeans, black boots, and a tight black shirt with just enough of a v neckline to be sexy.
“I told him I knew what he was hiding,” she says. “He guessed you told me, and I tried to deny it, but he didn’t buy it. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. He should have told you himself if he didn’t want me to.”
“We didn’t break up or anything, but I told him I needed a little space.”
“You two really are great together. Knowing Beck, he’ll realize what an ass he was and find some romantic way to apologize,” I say as Natalia and Olivia approach.
Olivia is the only one who opted for fancy attire. She’s in a sparkly dress with leggings and boots underneath. Natalia decided on maroon skinny jeans and a gray sweater.
We all walk to the bonfire together, but Olivia and Natalia both leave us to meet their boyfriends as soon as we get there.
“It was a fun girls’ night while it lasted,” I say. I used to feel gratitude at being single at a party, but watching them both hurry away to the warm arms of their beaux makes me a little jealous.
“Beck is hanging out with Kaz tonight, so you’ve still got me.” Elaine gives a small smile. “I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty.”
We get our first glasses of the special bonfire cocktail and sit on a log around the fire.
“Cheers.” I raise my clear cup up.
Elaine taps hers against it. “To our friendship.”
We both take a long drink.
As the liquid slides down my throat, a chill runs through me. The wine from earlier gave me a slight buzz, but this Alchemy Brew, like at last year’s bonfire, is much stronger.
“That’s delicious.” Elaine takes another long drink.
When I scan the bonfire, I see Callum and Zane talking with a group of guys over by where the band is playing. Callum says something to Zane and Zane shakes his head and laughs.
It’s been hard enough having my friendship with Zane on the rocks, but trying to deny the attraction I have for Callum makes it so much worse.
“How are things with you and Zane?” Elaine asks, catching me staring at them.
“Complicated.”
“And with you and Callum?”
I look at her. She isn’t giving me the judgmental stare I expected to see.
“Are my feelings that obvious?” I tip the drink to my mouth and chug.
Elaine crosses her knee over her other leg. “Probably not to most people, but they didn’t see how you looked at Philip Webber in sixth grade.”
“Oh my god, Philip. He had such perfect green eyes. And don’t get me started on that shaggy hairstyle of his.” There haven’t been many boys I’ve swooned over, but I had the biggest crush on the middle school’s bad boy. “He was my first kiss, you know?”
“What? And you never told me.”
“You never hid your opinion of him,” I say. “According to you, he was a ‘bad influence that was sure to corrupt me.’”
“And did he?”
“Maybe,” I say. “Maybe I was destined to be exactly how I am and he had nothing to do with it.”
“So, what happened?” Elaine finishes her drink.
“I had his friend give him a note to meet me behind the school after class got out. I was so nervous he wouldn’t show, but he did. He offered me a cigarette but I declined. Not because I didn’t want to try it, but I was afraid I’d somehow mess up and he’d laugh.” Even then, the urge to do things my parents disapproved of ran deep. “So, he put it back in the carton and slipped them into his coat pocket and asked what I did want. Then before I chickened out, I leaned in and kissed him.”
“You were always so brave. I envied that,” Elaine says. “I still do.”
“We only kissed, but the thrill started something in me. A week later, he sta
rted dating Bethany Peters and I was heart-broken,” I say. “Oh, young love.”
“And now you want to kiss Callum.”
“Sorta.” There’s no way Elaine can begin to understand the complications between him and me, so I won’t even bother explaining them. “But he’s friends with Zane.”
“Who’s in love with you…”
“I don’t know about you, but I need another drink. I’ll be right back. Save our spot?”
Elaine hands me her cup and I get in the now much longer line, right behind Kaz and Beck.
“Well, if it isn’t my big-mouthed sister,” Beck says.
I roll my eyes like a child. “And if it isn’t my secret-keeping brother.”
Beck turns away from me.
“The weather is great tonight,” Kaz says, clearly feeling awkward being in between my brother and me.
“Gorgeous,” I say.
Last year at this same bonfire, Kaz and I snuck away to talk. It seems like ages ago that he joked about the dangers of the forest. What would he think if he knew how right he was?
Beck steals Kaz back, ending our discussion before it even began.
A few minutes later, I head back to Elaine with our drinks. We finish them too quickly and Elaine offers to refill them. While she’s gone, Callum sits next to me.
“Hey, stranger,” he jokes.
As always, he looks perfect. I don’t think there’s a single blemish on his skin. He stares at me, lips parted, and I just want to lean into him and lose myself in his…
“Here you go,” Elaine hands me my refilled drink. “I’m glad you have company, because I need to go find my boyfriend.” She’s clearly feeling the effects of the Sorcery liquor.
And so am I.
“Where’s Zane?” I instantly regret my question.
“Um…” He hesitates. “He’s hanging out with a freshman girl he just met.”
“Hanging out?”
“She was cold so they moved their conversation to his room.”
I bring the Alchemy Brew to my mouth and drink half of it in one long chug. “Of course, he is.”
Why I’d expect anything else from him, I’m not sure. Our on-and-off-again relationship of friends-with-benefits has always included hooking up with other people, and I’ve never had a problem with it. But right now, I’m angry. And I don’t want to be, so I stand up and finish my drink. “I’ve been sitting for too long. I need to get up and walk.”
