by S R Watson
“Sevyn?” His face lights up like he just had an epiphany or some shit. “You said you were meeting him today, and you came back with her. He’s the mutual friend, isn’t he?” It’s weird hearing the name, especially since he has no idea how close he is.
“Yes. Sevyn has done business with her in another capacity and told her all about us. She was intrigued, to say the least.”
“That guy is alright with me. We may give you shit for not bringing him around, but that was good looking out. I hope she signs us.”
“She is one of the managers who introduces the talent and manages them, but she is not the one who actually does the signing,” I explain.
“Yeah, but if she is interested, she can get us in front of the right people. We will take it from there. I have all the confidence in our talent, so same difference.” I agree with Killian. The band’s sound is pretty impressive, and we don’t look like your typical rockers, for the most part, except Ren. His appearance screams rocker with his black Mohawk and piercings. Too bad, he really is a big softie. I have a song in mind that has been playing on a loop in my mind.
I can probably have it finished by tonight, so I hope it’s well-received. “Yeah. I think we have this one in the bag. We just need to get in front of those executives. We’ll have them eating out of our hand,” I say.
“Especially if they’re more of the female persuasion than men. You can use your magical charms.” Killian nearly chokes on his beer from laughing so hard.
“Whatever, fucker. We don’t need charm when we got the talent.”
“Your pretty face will help,” he teases. “You know the women always see you first. Our asses get the leftovers.” He wants to give me shit, so I dish it right back.
“It’s not the face, bro. It’s this dick. I think the word has gotten around about my anaconda, and now they all want a piece. Hard to keep that shit a secret.” He laughs even harder, and I join him.
“Okay, let’s change the subject, dude. We are not going to discuss your dick and how big you think it is.”
“Oh, I don’t have to think. I have to fit this motherfucker in my jeans every day.” He gives me a look of disgust, and I wink at him before slamming back the rest of my beer. The group joins us, so we indeed change the subject.
Harlow sits across from me with a glass of wine in hand. The discussion quickly turns to football and our opposing love for the Cowboys and the Eagles.
Surprisingly, Irelyn is a Dallas Cowboys fan, like Ren and me, so it makes it three against two. Asher and Killian are traitors. The game starts in a few hours, and we’re all making bets on which team we think will win. Dallas is on a losing streak right now, but they’re my team, no matter what. Harlow looks on, but she doesn’t join the conversation. She just sips on her wine and listens to our craziness.
“So who do root for, Harlow?” Killian asks in attempt to include her in our conversation.
“I don’t,” she says simply. “I don’t know much about the game.” She looks at me briefly but quickly looks away.
“Tragic,” he retorts. “We have to teach you about football, girl. Irelyn, you’re slacking, woman.”
“It’s not her thing.” She grins at her friend. “And that’s okay, so hush.” After a beat of silence, everyone goes back to making their wagers. Not for money, but for bragging rights. I get up to go get another beer.
“You guys want anything while I’m up?” I ask. They all shake their head, so I make my way back to the house. I scarf down a sandwich while I’m in here. I’m about to grab the beer I came in for when I turn and see Harlow. She is standing there looking unsure, but clearly with something to say.
“Are you going to tell me what this morning was all about?” she asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Why were you in a hurry to get away from me?” I don’t know what to tell her. This is more than just a little awkward.
“I can’t do this with you right now,” I say, trying to push past her, but she stops me.
“Just say it,” she says, getting flustered.
“What do you want me to say, huh?”
“That you fucked me, and now you’re done with me. Just have the balls to say it’s over, instead of running away like a fucking coward. It was just sex, for fuck’s sake. Just do me the decency of ending it.” I see the unshed tears glistening in her eyes, and I’m about to lose my shit. I don’t get off on hurting a woman. I hate that I’m in this fucking position.
“Yeah. Okay. It’s over. There. Now are you happy? I’ve said it. You will find somebody better than—”
“Save me the ‘I’ll find somebody better’ bullshit,” she cuts me off. “I never thought of us as more than a fuck anyway. I just wanted to hear the words. Don’t brush me off like one of your goddamn groupies.” She raises her voice slightly, and although she claims that she has gotten what she wanted, clearly things are not as settled in her mind as she tries to pretend it is.
“I have to go. I can’t do this. Tell the guys I left.” I can hear her hollering behind my back.
“Yeah. Do what you do best—run.” I don’t acknowledge her last statement. I leave her alone with her anger, and hope to God the guys didn’t hear her.
Harlow
I stand here, not knowing what the fuck to feel. I can’t believe I confronted Phoenix. I didn’t plan on it, but the liquid courage of my wine demanded answers. His nonchalant, what did I do attitude pissed me off. Oh, and that “I will find someone” crap made me want to strangle him. How dare he treat me like one of his groupies that he is done with and has to let down easy? Let’s call it what it was. It was a fuck—nothing more and nothing less. So why the hell am I so bothered by his dismissal? I knew the score before I opened my legs. I can’t go back outside and listen to them talk about football. I pull out my phone and call Irelyn.
“Hey.”
“Where are you?” I can hear the guys still talking about football in the background.
“In the kitchen. I’m calling because I’m ready to go. Tell Asher, please. I’m sorry to cut our time short, but I’ll explain later.”
“It’s okay. I have to get back to studying for a test tomorrow, too,” she says loudly. I’m guessing this is for the guy’s benefit, so they don’t question our sudden need to go home. “We need to get back, Asher,” I hear Irelyn say. She makes up a story about me getting a call from some members of our study group looking for us and that we have a test tomorrow. I’m glad I’m not the one who had to tell him that lie. I don’t think I could have kept a straight face.
“Okay, spill,” Irelyn prompts once we are behind the closed doors of our room. “First Phoenix leaves, and then all of a sudden you need to leave, too. What gives?” I don’t know how to approach the subject since I withheld some parts of my morning with Phoenix. I guess I just get it over with and tell her everything. I always do, for the most part.
“So maybe I didn’t tell you everything this morning,” I begin.
“I knew it. I can always tell, but I don’t push. What did that asshat do?”
“Well, everything else I said was true. The sex was amazing. I mean, the orgasms were mind-blowing, and there were too many to count. The only thing is, this morning, he was a different person. He wasn’t the attentive lover who put my pleasure before his own. He didn’t look at me like I was something special. Instead, he looked perturbed. He was anxious to get away from me. He couldn’t get his clothes on fast enough. It felt as though he regretted last night.” I plop on my bed. I can feel the anger within me start to surface again.
“Oh, babe. I’m so sorry.” She comes and sits next to me on the bed.
“I didn’t plan on saying anything to him. It was just a fuck. But then the more wine I drank, the more I wanted answers. I wanted him to just fucking tell me it was over, so I cornered him in the kitchen.” I chuckle sadly.
“Shit. What did he say?” Irelyn’s eyebrows are nearly in her hairline.
“He looked taken off
guard, at first—like he didn’t realize he’d done anything wrong. Then the cockiness appeared after I dealt with the brush-off. My thing is…don’t treat me like a fucking groupie. We had sex, it’s done, say so, and we both move on. Don’t treat me like something you regret.”
“Forget him. He probably just sucks at the ‘after sex’ part. His loss.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. “You know it isn’t you, so don’t give it a second thought. You had a chance to fuck that sexy beast, and now you can move on. You knew he wasn’t the type to settle with. Think of it as whetting your appetite before getting the main dish. We will find you someone more suitable.” There’s that phrase again of “finding someone.” I don’t want to fucking find someone. This isn’t a free-for-all. I felt something with Phoenix, so I let myself have him. I don’t want to fuck with guys for the hell of it or for the sake of being in a relationship. I don’t regret anything. It was fun while it lasted, so why am I still bummed? Why can’t I pull myself out of this funk? Surely, I haven’t caught feelings. Ugh, I don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling. I’m just going to have to stay away from the lake house until the feeling passes. I really do hope Pretty Boy Rock signs them. That would be an amazing opportunity for them.
My inner thoughts are interrupted by Irelyn trying to convince me to go to a house party next weekend. Ordinarily, I would say no. Feeling down, I decide to do something out of the norm.
“Sure, I’ll go.”
“What?” she asks, stunned. “I was prepared to beg, and you go and surprise me with being all easy. First, you agree to hottie watch with me and now go to a house party. What have you done with my best friend?” She giggles.
“A little change is good. Not saying it will be permanent, but I’m willing to try to have a little fun this semester.”
“Okay. We have to go shopping on Thursday. All you ever wear are those jeans. We need to accentuate your assets.” She gives me a huge smile and bats her eyes. She is really pushing her luck, but I let her make it. If she wants to go shopping and make me look like slutty Barbie with her for the night, I’ll indulge. I have to admit that my mentality has come a long way.
“Fine.” I watch as she clasps her hand over her mouth. She gets up off the bed and does a celebratory dance. Then she stops mid-move and turns to look at me.
“Oh, one more thing.” She approaches me cautiously. “While you were in the kitchen with Phoenix, Asher mentioned picking us up on Friday so that we can watch their performance. Apparently, they’re going to be doing more of their original songs for Desiree, and he wants us there for luck.”
The smile on my face drops. “Irelyn, I can’t.” All I can imagine is seeing Phoenix flirt with countless women and getting up to his usual after the show.
“Harlow. Asher said ‘us,’ but he really wants you there for support. This can be the night that changes their lives, and he wants his sister there to witness it. You can’t let the fuck you had with Phoenix twice make you turn your back on your brother. That would crush him. What excuse could you possibly give—what could be more important?” Of course she is right. I can’t do that to Asher, even if I could think of a valid excuse. Shit.
“You’re right.” I hang my head in defeat. This thing with Phoenix is bothering me way more than it should.
“Hey. Hey. None of that. You pick your head up. We’re going shopping Thursday. I will make sure you are a knockout for Friday night. Phoenix won’t know what hit him. He will regret that he was such a douche, and he lost his chance to hit that,” she says, pointing toward my vagina. Okay, that makes me smile. Yes, his loss. I just thought of a plan.
“I think I’ll just be the biggest flirt on Friday night. Show him, he is not the only dick out there. I’ll show him that I can be sexy like those skanks he attracts, and how he lost his chance with me.” Suddenly, I’m in a better mood. Why should I let one man determine my worth? Make me feel inferior? I can’t wait until Friday to put my plan into action.
Chapter Twelve
Harlow
We’re sitting in the Escalade, and my nerves are taking over. Asher’s eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw me, but he didn’t say much. I know that he is treading lightly, not wanting to bruise my self-esteem. He couldn’t fake his reaction, though. I could see the curiosity in his eyes. I’m wearing a red strapless bandage dress that has my tits busting over the top and just barely covers my ass. I know I’m going to be pulling it down all night, but not so much where the girls spill out. The black pumps and clutch purse complete the look. Irelyn did my makeup and hair. I must admit I look hot. I didn’t know I could look this way.
“You look gorgeous,” she says, reading my thoughts. “But nobody is going to see that if you stay in this truck.”
“I think you need a coat,” Asher mumbles under his breath.
“Oh, hush. She looks hot.” Irelyn blows him a kiss, and he gets out of the truck.
“Ugh,” he grunts. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear about his sister being hot. I finally get out of the truck because I know I can’t hide here forever. Irelyn gets out and joins me. Her black dress is similar to mine but with straps. Also because her ass isn’t as big, her dress has a little more length.
“Come on, sex kitten. Let’s go knock ’em dead.” Ugh. I feel like Asher now. I’m already starting to regret this decision. I need some liquid courage and quick.
We go into the bar, but the guys haven’t taken the stage yet. They usually go on about ten, and it’s just after nine. “Let’s get a drink,” Irelyn suggests.
“That is an excellent idea. You read my mind.” I’m proud of my conquest of these heels. You’d think I wear them all the time. I sashay my ass like I saw Desiree do this past weekend, and Irelyn laughs.
“Let me guess who that is supposed to be.”
“Desiree,” we say in unison.
“You have too much ass for that walk, babe. You’d give every guy within a mile radius a raging hard-on.”
“If a guy was a mile away, he couldn’t see my ass, you moron. What are you trying to say?” I gently push her, and she is in hysterics.
“That was a compliment,” she gasps between chuckles.
“Let’s just get our drink, cray-cray.” We make it to the bar, and I’m happy to park my ass in the seat. I said I could walk in these heels. I never said anything about them being comfortable. These are definitely “get-your-ass-somewhere-and-sit-down” shoes. The bar girl is the same one from last time, so she doesn’t card us, although Irelyn made her twenty-one this summer. I order a mojito, and Irelyn orders a cosmo. We are two drinks in and on our third before the guys take the stage. They open with Memphis May Fire’s, Speechless. The women are already rushing the stage.
Phoenix is wearing his signature look. His fitted white T-shirt hugs his chest and abs, showcasing every muscle. I can see the bulging of his biceps as he grips the mic. Because I’m sitting back here, I can ogle him without being obvious. His jeans sit low, and his muscular thighs are drool-worthy. His fucking body is just amazing. No matter how much of a douche he may be, he is sexy as fuck. I can’t help but continue my perusal. His hair is tapered short on the sides with a little length spiked on top. His goatee is trimmed neatly. Adding to all this, I know firsthand that he can fuck, so he has the full package. Well, almost, he’s still a manwhore.
“It’s a mystery, too good to be true. I find my purpose when I look at you,” Phoenix begins. The rasp in his voice demands attention. It’s as sexy as he is.
“Enjoying the view?” Irelyn asks, interrupting my lustful thoughts.
“Whatever,” I reply nonchalantly
“Oh, I don’t blame you. He is hot as hell, but so are you. Come on. Let’s move closer.” She doesn’t give me a chance to protest. She is off her barstool in seconds. We take our drinks and walk to the back of the room where the stage is. I watch as Phoenix rubs his abs and uses eye contact to flirt with the women. Irelyn obscurely pokes me in the side and uses her head to gesture for me
to look to her right.
I see Desiree perched at one of the few tables off to the side of the stage with her legs crossed. She has two guys in suits sitting next to her. I can see her smiling as she takes in the band’s performance. That has to be a good sign, right? I sure hope so. Regardless of my dismissal by Phoenix, I want the guys to succeed. If Desiree’s expression is anything to go by, they are knocking it out of the park. They sing a couple more cover songs before they mix in some of their original stuff. These guys are amazingly talented. I stay hidden within the crowd until familiar lyrics fill the air.
I keep telling myself it's the last time
Each time it proves to be a lie
The darkness pulls me deeper into the shadows
It won't let me see the light.
It's a never-ending battle that I can't seem to win,
Maybe one day I'll defeat the devil...
The monster that lives within.
I want to leave it all behind
I want to leave it all behind
I want to leave it all behind
Take back control... Make my escape from these demons I face.
This is my warning to you.
This is your chance to be free.
Don't give in to the hunger I crave
because I can't be sated.
I want to leave it all behind
I want to leave it all behind
I want to leave it all behind
You’re my weakness. This is clear to see
I try to hide the demons from you that live inside me
You’re getting too close to finding out my secret
And now I have to let you go, so that you may never know
